100-249 SparkPoints
OUTTATHE200CLUB's Recent Blog Entries

Adjusting my patience factor...

Saturday, July 27, 2013

I am going to need some time to adjust to the fact my weight loss is going to take longer than I want it to.

On reflection it took me three years to pack on the emotional weight, and I maintained it plus or minus 25 pounds for an additional three.

So....I wish Sparkpeople had a half pound a week goal to make my loss more in tandem with reality. The more I learn about biology and the body's desire to hold onto every calorie, especially for those of us with long term obesity and/or being older....the more I recognize it's not willpower in many ways. It's freakin BIOLOGY. Can't fight nature on this no matter how fast I want to lose or how 'good' or 'bad' I am.

In fact- I'm ridding myself of the entire good and bad. No food is good or bad. I am neither good nor bad.

But I know when I learn something, I do know when I'm consciously NOT learning from my mistakes or intentionally disregarding what I know in my heart and/or intellect to be true.

I will be patient and loving. But I won't ignore facts anymore. Denial...you're fired.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KOFFEENUT 7/28/2013 1:59AM

    I figure on this healthy lifestyle journey it doesn't matter how fast I'm traveling - what matters is that I'm headed in the right direction. Good for you that you're giving yourself permission to travel at the speed that is right for YOU, even though it may take you longer to arrive than you'd like!

Report Inappropriate Comment


Saturday, July 27, 2013

I had a cheese quesadilla at Denny's thinking- oh, it's appetizer sized, probably better than a full breakfast, when going out this AM with friends and landing there for coffee talk.

That teeny tiny two dollar menu thing?

Holy cannoli. That is HORRIBLE. I had NO IDEA there was that much fat in there....it really seemed like an impossibly small amount of cheese.
Wow. Color me educated. I'm going to stick with a plate of fruit next time. JEEZ.

Lesson learned. That's the nice thing about learning self love and patience....I don't know these things sometimes. I'll make mistakes. Sometimes I make mistakes KNOWING they are a mistake.

But what I want to do DIFFERENT THIS TIME is LEARN FROM THE MISTAKES. Not ignore their lesson.

So I'm going to love when I can tell you the next time I went to Dennys I had the fruit plate. :) And was happy with it.

690 calories.
Holy moly.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OUTTATHE200CLUB 7/27/2013 9:21PM

    I know! I wanted to log a home made cheese quesadilla count instead, because I thought for sure it was wrong! But then I checked the Dennys site to be sure. Sure enough. 690 friggen calories. 41 grams of fat. That is, like 1 and a half Big Macs!!!!

Color me adjusted. My friends and I meet there every Saturday morning for a regular meetup. I am going to eat breakfast BEFORE going AT HOME from now on.

It didn't taste like 690 calories!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TLG71567 7/27/2013 9:18PM

    I made that mistake at Denny's. I thought I had plenty of calories left because I hadn't had anything but breakfast, so I splurged and got a hamburger and onion rings. I thought it would be about 1100 calories. WRONG!!! It was almost 1200 calories just for the burger and another almost 600 calories for the onion rings!! Yikes. I was floored. There were like 580 calories just in the meat. Isn't that insane? My lesson learned was to avoid Denny's. I go to Bob Evans, Applebees or Ruby Tuesdays. They all have low calorie items that taste good and I don't feel tempted to have something bad.
It's shocking how many calories they can squeeze into food.

Report Inappropriate Comment

Perspective and Commitment

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Those I have known who have successfully lost and kept weight off all have the same key in common: They changed how they lived, and how they relate to food, permanently. They weren't perfect at it, and in most cases it took well over a year or two to transform themselves.

I also read recently that the only way you can avoid the horrible metabolism slowdown when losing a lot of weight is to lose it SO SLOWLY YOUR BODY DOES NOT NOTICE. This makes sense biologically to me. And I have seen it time and again- both in myself and in others. When the weight comes out fast- as in 20 or more pounds in a year...the weight creeps back on in the following two years unless the person (or me) continues to eat the same low number of calories I/they did when losing weight. This is unsustainable.

So...Wow. I need to give myself A LONG TIME to lose this weight...as in, 20 pounds a year is a rational goal. SH#$balls. This means it will concievablly take me well into next summer to get out of the 200 club, and another two and a half years to get to my healthy BMI...so we're talking this process, if I want to optimize its permanency, is going to take me into..hmm...2016-2017.

Wow. Well lets compare. It took me 4 years to sprout from 185 to my max of 245 between 2005-2008. Went down at divorce time to 230 in 2008-9, stayed in the 220s/230s from 2009-2010. Lost 25 pounds in 2011 (all in 8 months on Jenny Craig), and gained it all back by year end 2012.

So...in sum I've been over 200 pounds for SEVEN YEARS. My body has had SEVEN YEARS to factor in this extra weight, consider it necessary for surival, and compensate. If I lose it all fast I'll repeat what happened before- went way down in 2011, then sprang back up in 2012.

I WANT TO PREPARE FOR SUCCESS. And this is going to require frickin' patience and GRADUAL change. WITHOUT QUITTING.

So here is what I commit to TODAY...and THROUGH 2013, to support A REALISTIC GOAL. I cannot lose fast. I can challenge myself, but I have to look at the BIOLOGICAL REALITY MY BODY DOES NOT WANT ME TO LOSE WEIGHT. Because doing so puts it into a natural defense state of wanting to hang onto every calorie for the next famine. Our bodies are protective that way.

1. 8 glasses of water a day (purpose: overall health and wellbeing)
2. No diet drinks (purpose: eliminate the negative impact of aspartame...for me this includes fat retention, sweet cravings, headaches, and general dis-ease)
3. BREAKFAST EVERY MORNING ... as in, within an hour of waking, even if it's just a protein bar on the go (purpose: metabolism booster, overall health)
4. GROCERY SHOPPING WEEKLY (purpose: full stock of veg, fruit, and healthy options to take on the road to support.....
5. NO FAST FOOD DRIVE THRU ANYMORE. (purpose: crux of calorie/fat bombs from 2007-present that made me gain and retain these 200 Club numbers the last seven years).
6. LOG MY FOOD AND LEARN. I target 1500-1650 net calories a day. Sometimes under, sometimes over, but the way I can learn is by logging.

I have GOT to get on the stick and introduce LIFESTYLE CHANGE that includes regular physical exercise. I ran with my dog when he was younger. He got older, I got fatter, we got slower, and that pattern of aerobics was lost. And I have NEVER EVER had a strength training program.

It is really hard for me right now to commit to a physical exercise lifestyle change. I have not yet committed. I still struggle with days on end of sitting on my arse. Even though I know it's exactly what I need to do. But I'm always coming up with some excuse...and when I do manage to get a few good weeks in, the first emotional upset gets me back into my no-exercise-just-mope mode.

So..I have 6 Nutritional Commitments above...and I have no doubt in my ability to achieve them. What is going to be 7....something small but regular, something I can do daily and automatically, something just to break the ice....another sparker commented on a 10 minute a day video challenge here. I think I'll check it out. I can't rely on my old standby 'walk my dog every day' anymore. At his advanced age and health problems, on some days he has a tough time just making it up and down the stairs. That kills me emotionally, which makes me just sit and home and pet him....I have to change my standby to match reality.

When I am ready to make that exercise commitment as surely as I've made the 7 above, I will make it. I'm being a stubborn heiny about it right now so I'm not listing anything. But when I do, there's no takebacks. So I'll get there...maybe start by trying that 10 minute thing. Or attempting another round of gym swimming....I really do enjoy it but my mind can play any number of tricks on me between my couch and my car keys and I end up not going.

So..I do commit to these, repeating them again so I commit them to memory. These are changes that WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE RIGHT NOW. So progress...focusing on the positive...
1. WATER- and lots of it. 8 glasses a day.
5. NO FAST FOOD (yucko)

Yup. I can do that. I can definitely do that.


Back at it....dug out now

Saturday, July 27, 2013

It took a full week to recover from the emotional whirlwind of knowing my 13 year old dog and best friend has kidney disease. We lost our walking time together (he also had a minor local surgery which put in on rest and in The Cone of Shame for a week), and coming to terms with the fact my time with him is short took its toll.

I'm still emotional but starting two days ago I began to come out of the morass and take good self care. We got to go for a 1.6 mile walk yesterday, and although I cannot take him out, I'm about to go swimming after writing this post before I hit my Saturday night regular hangout with friends (which, thankfully does not revolve around food).

My home is filled back up wtih fruit, vegetables, low fat dairy, and fresh drinking water. I have had three days in a row of healthy breakfasts and today I started back up on the No Fast Food thing.

I learned something today from a health article. Having just 1 Triple Whopper Meal a week will result in a 30 pound gain in a YEAR! Now, granted I didn't eat triple whoppers...BUT, I was eating fast food dinners (full fat/full size things, yes with Diet Coke...but still...aspartame is AWFUL for weight loss and health so it may well have been full sugar stuff) at least 3-5 times a week so there you go- I covered the calories. If I simply eliminate all fast food from my diet for a year....that alone could result in a 15 pound loss (cutting it in half as I'm still sure a good dinner will have half the calories of what I ate at fast food).

So even with no other changes, I'm on the right path.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OUTTATHE200CLUB 7/27/2013 8:39PM

    oh and thank you for sharing and supporting. :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
OUTTATHE200CLUB 7/27/2013 8:39PM

    Yes- it' s so hard to accept my dog is in his last months now. I've taken the last week to cry it out, feel it out, accept it, and prepare myself to listen and observe him so when he's ready for the Vast Unknown after This Life, I will also be ready to respond as a responsible dog owner needs to respond.

Report Inappropriate Comment
NORWOODGIRL 7/27/2013 8:22PM

    Keep on that right path.

Sorry about your dog. I just went through the same thing with my wolfhound.

Report Inappropriate Comment

Almost dug out....

Friday, July 26, 2013

...I started logging my food again and had a successful food target- got enough water, ate a low fat healthy breakfast, small healthy meals throughout the day. I did break my fast food ban though...but it wasn't a complete disaster. I got a mcdonalds cheeseburger happy meal- that's a 100 calorie wee fry package! and it came with apples. Had I not been back on track that trip would have been a big mac large fry and a filet o fish chaser...so I'm glad it didn't devolve into that. Still disappointed in my choice. But it is what it is.

Tomorrow I'll be able to take my dog for a real walk and keep the cone off of him. He will be much happier as will I.

I know my next move is to integrate more exercise into my day. I really sloughed off this past week even though exercise would have been precisely the kind of stress relief agent that could have helped.

Why do I protest at doing the one healthy thing I know makes me feel BETTER? Why do I turn into a slug in emotional upheaval? Still working on that one....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OUTTATHE200CLUB 7/27/2013 7:59PM

    Thanks! I'll check it out.....

Report Inappropriate Comment
KCMAGPIE 7/26/2013 6:40AM

    If you figure out the answers to those questions, would you fill me in? It is so easy to fall back into those old habits even though logically we know where they lead us. Way to go on digging out... You're making progress! As for getting regular exercise... Consider joining the sparkteam: Official January jumpstart fitness challenge. You can join anytime. It's a four week challenge that involves 7 days of 10-minute online workout videos with coach Nicole. You just repeat the same 7-day rotation for four weeks and earn a trophy for your page. Some days if I find myself unmotivated to exercise, I'll go back to that rotation. I can always find 10 minutes! Good luck finding your groove!

Report Inappropriate Comment

1 2 3 4 5 Last Page