Wednesday, June 26, 2013
I have majorly fallen off the bandwagon. With finishing up my bachelor's of social work, everything fell to the wayside-eating right, working out, and taking time for myself. Now, I am at the highest weight I have ever been and I feel like complete and total crap. If I was discouraged before, I am even more so. I can't continue on like this. I am acutely aware of how my body feels with the weight and how I look with all this extra weight. Sometimes I feel so powerless to do anything about it. I have adopted the mindset of "I'll always have been fat and will be, so why bother?" I know that is not good for me, but that is how I am feeling right now.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
So, I have found a local place that offers Zumba. I would like to go, but I am worried about being judged for my weight. The studio has pictures of their instructors on their website and I feel like they will be wondering why there is a fat girl at their Zumba class. What if other students make fun of me? It happened in gym class quite often. Okay, so I know that this is not junior high and high school, but those negative experiences really stick with one's psyche (if you know what I mean).
Maybe I will get up the courage to go.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Ok, so I have a very strange problem. When I discover something, I become obsessed with reading all I can find about it, to see how effective it is. Case in point- I found a Kettlebell set on clearance at Target for $18.00 (normally $60.00). I almost did not buy it, but my hubby said that it was a good deal and to get it. I purchased it. Since buying it, it has sat in my kitchen. In the meantime, I have been researching to find out how effective Kettlebell workouts are. This is not the first time I have done this- Zumba, elliptical, and belly dance have all suffered the same level of research obsession.
I don't know why I do this! I am obsessed with something enough to research it, but when it comes time to act, I fizzle out. Frustrating!
Monday, October 01, 2012
I am currently a student at the University of Kansas (and very proud to be a Jayhawk) and was offered the chance to attend a workshop through my Social Welfare practicum (student social work) site. The workshop was on the Strengths Perspective. Basically, the Strengths Perspective has a Social Worker focus on their client's strengths in order to help facilitate change in the client's life. During the workshop, we spoke about giving a client a label and how damaging labels are, be it by the client, acquaintances, family, or even strangers . These labels, can cause a client to assume the label, thus making the label an identifier for them and living up to the label. Then the light bulb went off in my head. For years I, as well as other people, have referred to me as fat. What if, I thought, I reframed that label? Instead of saying or thinking "I'm Michelle and I'm fat", I said "I'm Michelle and I have a weight problem?" This way of thinking lifts the fat label off me and reframes it as a person with a weight problem.
I am going to give this perspective a try. Years of having the fat label have taken its toll on me, but I am going to apply the Strengths Perspective to me and affect change in my own life. Stay tuned!
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