Wednesday, July 23, 2014
I spent all morning yesterday doing outside type stuff. I hauled tree branches, dug out some landscaping features that were slowly getting buried, etcetc. I worked really hard, sweat a ton, got dirty, and damned near got heatstroke. Because OMFG 90 degree weather! :(
I knew I wasn't going to get on the bike, but I couldn't decide about trying out that fitness class. I mean, on one hand, I felt like I burned a lot and sustained an elevated heart rate for quite a while trying to clear out a small area of the ravine behind my fence. (If I don't keep at least a food clear between the ravine and the fence, the yard quickly becomes overgrown with poison ivy, saplings, and all sorts of wildlife) On the other hand, I didn't do the bike and I couldn't really measure exactly how many calories 2 1/2 hrs outside throwing debris around actually did. I decided I'd plan to NOT go, and see how I felt later in the evening.
We ended up having a bit of a late dinner, and at about 6:15, I decided to head down to the REFIT studio anyway to try a workout. I was desperately hoping it wouldn't be so rough that I'd barf up dinner.
It ended up being pretty brutal, but fun. I didn't go for the regular REFIT program. Instead, I came for REFIT BURN, because it sounded like a better workout. lol. They apparently have a set choreography for all songs they use, so veteran members are at an advantage for knowing what they should be doing already. I felt kind of lost. For whatever reason, the trainer didn't have a headset like the previous one, and I had to just kind of follow along by sight.
That being said! I feel like I got a really great workout. There were some moves I recognized from P90X. Obviously, they weren't invented by P90. It was basic stuff like chair dips, hold poses from the core workout, etc. Stuff I was familiar with, but set to music. Having the music was a lot of fun, but I really can't dance, so I felt super clumsy. Our trainer had moves! Her hips were swiveling all over the place! I was totally jealous :P She was really sweet, though. She had high energy and always tried to tap her leg or find some other way to indicate what side we were working on next, etc. (I'm guessing the previous instructor ran off with the headset at the end of her workout or something. I don't know.. if someone was just sweating all over the headset, I'm not sure I'd want it next either!) She also was very sympathetic about the more brutal hold poses. I knew they'd be bad when I recognized we were doing core work with some of the moves, and I had to laugh a little when she winced at the bad ones. lol
Our trainer had a name I hadn't heard before, and it was tough to make out in the noise of the studio, but she said everyone could call her Crashy. (I think her name was something like Krishaunda or something like that? It was hard to hear). Anyway, I got to talk to her a little bit after the workout. We were both band nerds in color guard in HS! Apparently, all the trainers rotate workout programs throughout the week. They're trying to get all the info up on the website, but right now there's no way for me to pick & choose the ones she's leading. I'm sure the others are great, too, but I had a really good workout with Crashy.
There was a lot of variety in the workout, too. Definitely some good cardio, but there were also chair pushups, core exercises, stretching, playing with hollow PVC "drumsticks," and dancing. I feel like if I was going to do a normal REFIT workout, I might want wrist/ankle weights, but the BURN workout was really great. It felt good to be pushed to my limit like that. It's sometimes really hard to push yourself when you are working out alone.
Anyway, I struggled a little bit with my calorie count because the husband REALLY wanted stroganoff helper. Like REALLY wanted it. He rarely requests a meal, and he sounded all excited about it, so I made the box of burger helper. It says it has 5 servings in it, but I think that's assuming you have like... two veggie sides with it or something. If you just eat it by itself, 1 portion is really tiny! So, we usually divide it up into 3 bowls, and I have to pull out a calculator to do calories. Dinner was 530, which is way more than I usually shoot for, but it didn't kill my day. I had to adjust my evening plans and ditch my skinny cow chocolate truffle bar (100 cal) in favor of two sugar free jello cups (20 cal), but I still managed to end the day under 1500 cal, so I feel really good about that.
So.. x2 workouts+ Under 1500 cal? You know what that means! The scale moved today! Yaaaaaay I only have 2 pounds of surgery weight left! While I want to get down another 10 by mid Sept, I'm thinking that's not going to happen. To make the dress fit well, I think I only need to lose another 5, though. (Everything hooks up, but the zipper is a serious struggle once you get up towards the top. It's like.. so close) I'm just going to keep doing my best and see where I can end up by the wedding. What I'm REALLY hoping is that I can keep this momentum up and get closer to my ultimate goal weight. I mean, 30-40lbs would put me in a really good place. I'm not looking at this wedding deadline as "Oh, then after that I can just go crazy and roll around naked in a tub of ice cream and rub myself down with Cheetos." I'm not thinking like that at all. I'm trying to stay focused to get back to where I was at around this time last year, and look my personal best at the wedding. It's not the end of diet/exercise/taking care of myself, but a serious initial push, you know?
I'm hoping I can be good today& tomorrow, though, because I have more caloric challenges coming tonight around 7. The drama surrounding my brother is truly amazing! He's been dating a girl for nearly 3 years that does not respect him, constantly picks fights, and gets really weirdly jealous when he wants to come hang out with me. If she's not invited when we go do something, she would get really offended, and then text/call/fight the whole time he visited. Well, he finally broke up with her! Yay! The breakup has been a little messy, though.
She basically came up to him with the whole "we have to talk" thing and confronted him about how her life totally sucks and she just feels like a roommate. The problem, according to her, is that she feels like having to pay anything at all towards the bills is just too much. He works like 70 hours a week. I hardly ever see him, he is always exhausted, and he's just barely making ends meet. I don't think his work treats him very well, but that's another story for another time. He was putting in 60% of the rent, 100% of the utilities, and she expected him to take her out all the damned time and pay for it all. On top of that, she has a kid from another relationship, and she expected him to buy her stuff, too.
He told her when they got together that he wasn't sure about marriage, but he was open to it. He said he didn't want any kids. She said, "Well, hey, I want marriage, and I wand a lot more kids!" They decided to try to make it work anyway. She started complaining that he wasn't holding up his end of the bargain, and he was basically like "What? We had a bargain? I told you I'd think about marriage, but we fight all the damned time. Do you really think that would be a good idea? As for kids.. I still don't want any. You have one. I get along with her, so I think that was a pretty good compromise!"
She didn't feel that way, though, and started bringing in her parent's opinions about him and the whole thing denigrated into a really messy fight. He basically told her that if she really felt that he was wasting her time and that she wouldn't get what she wanted out of the relationship, it'd be best for everyone if they just separated so she could persue her own happiness, and he could get his student loans paid off finally. LOL I'm so happy! XD
Mom says I'm too hard on all his girlfriends, but I tried to give this one a chance. I even dismissed the fact that she's 23 with a 3 year old that she planned to have with someone she knew she wasn't going to stay with. (SHE JUST WANTED BABIES AS FAST AS POSSIBLE) I just really feel like she's too young for him. He's only a year younger than me, which puts him at 33 in DEC. He doesn't need to be running around with a REALLY immature 23 year old that feels like she still needs to go out, party, and get drunk every weekend. Her $50-$100 dates were really killing his paychecks.
I really started getting warning signs when they were fighting over every little thing, and he agreed to move in with her because he thought it'd make it better. He figured that if she was complaining that she never saw him due to his work schedule, then if they lived together, she'd see him more and be happy. Well, after they moved in together, she dropped out of school, dropped the job she was working in her field of study, and started complaining even more. She started waitressing, which I can't slam. It can make good money! But if she's making better money, why is shy complaining so much about actually putting money in towards rent, etc?
UUGGGHHHHHH Why give up on your nursing degree just because you moved in with some dude?? Dumbass, srsly. All she wanted out of him was ANYONE who could make enough money so that she wouldn't have to work and could sit on the couch eating junk food all day, popping out children. I feel like she needs some sort of wakeup call, because that kind of life isn't exactly common anymore. Older generations may be more accustomed to it, but our generation? Hell no. Everyone's gotta work multiple jobs just to keep the cars running. The fact that I don't have to work is an anomaly!
So anyway, due to all this excitement, I've been trying to help out as much as possible. Now that the evil witch doesn't have her fingers in all his time off, we're actually able to hang out. Seriously.. he'd have to OK everything with her before he could go do ANYTHING. Also, when he'd say he wanted to do something with me, she's OK it and then say at the last minute that he forgot they were going to her parent's ranch, or going out go carting, or some other BS. I completely believe that he lied to me once or twice on this because he genuinely forgot we were going to go do something, but that's ok. I know for a fact it wasn't EVERY time. She would deliberately tell him they had to go to her parent's or something like that so he'd have to cancel on me. If he didn't, she would text/call/fight/make his life hell if he went to a concert with me or whatever....EVEN IF IT WAS SOMETHING I TOLD HER SHE WAS INVITED TO. She'd just refuse to go because she thought it was weird that brothers & sisters liked hanging out together. Besides. BECAUSE he's my brother, he knew that cancelling on me wouldn't make me go off on him, so giving in to her was the least painful thing for him.
We had fun last time he visited, and since the EX owned all the furniture, we walked the house to see if there was anything we didn't need that might help him. He really needed a bed, and we really needed to replace our 20 year old mattress, so we went out and bought a new one for ourselves. That way, we could give the old one to him. Even if it's pretty worn, it's better than sleeping on an air mattress for a few months until he could afford to buy a bed. Maybe this will finally solve the bed problems he's had since college. (College apartments: Slept on a futon. When the futon wore out, he slept on an air mattress. When his back started to hurt from that, he got a really crappy used bed from someone at work. Then he moved in with THIS EVIL GIRLFREIND and slept in her bed. Now that's gone!)
So, he arranged to borrow a truck from a good friend, and he's coming up late tonight for dinner. He'll head back down to Austin tomorrow with our old bed. That solves the bed problem. He's on his own if he wants a bed frame, since we didn't have one to spare.. but at least this gets him on a real bed instead of the floor, and saves him some serious $$ That he shouldn't be spending right now. We can afford a new bed. He can't.
He seemed to be ok on towels, sheets, shower curtain, etc. He has a severe lack of furniture, but there's not a lot we can do about that. We still have one or two really sh*tty tables from The Husband's college days, and I'll probably try to send at least one with him. I hope to convince The Husband that he wants a real nightstand one of these days...
Now, The Brother got all excited about coming up again. He was just here last weekend feasting on massive piles of pizza& beer, frozen custard, and grilling large slabs of beast. He wants to do that all over again, but I put my foot down. Even though I did way better than we usually do when he visits, I still overate when he was here. By a LOT. So I told him I couldn't do pizza& beer twice in the span of a week, and he'd have to come up with some other idea for lunch on Thurs. The Husband goes into work at 12 noon, so if we instead had brunch together at a diner or something, I'd have a much easier time. If that doesn't work out, we'll pick up sandwiches at a local deli. These are things I can work into my calorie counts! I just have to try to save a lot of calories today for custard. If he wants that again, it's really something I can't resist, so I just have to make it work by skipping my snacks and making sure lunch is on the light side. It should be ok.
For now, I'm trying to decide what kind of exercise I want to do today. The scattered muscles all over my body that are sore say I should just take today off. I feel like I should probably workout. My options are hopping on the bike here in a little bit, or waiting and going to REFIT tonight. I don't think I can handle the REFIT BURN two days in a row, and going to that one would put me past when my brother is supposed to arrive in town. I could go to the 12:00 regular class, or the 5:30. Wait, today is Weds, right? They aren't doing BURN today. They are doing SCULPT. That also sounds like it would make me sore. lol. So basically.. 45 min cardio on the bike now, or 45 min later at one of the classes? Or rest day?
I don't know. I just know that I am finally seeing movement on the scale, and I don't want it to stop.
Monday, July 21, 2014
This morning I found myself tweeting about how I was struggling not to get demoralized with last week's lack of weight loss. I didn't lose anything, because while my averages are below maintenance, they are not quite low enough, and I ate too much when my brother visted. This is to be expected!
What I didn't expect was a friend to pop in that early and offer all sorts of suggestions. I kept saying "no, that won't work," to pretty much everything she said. I had to stop a minute and think about that. Why was I being so negative to a person that was clearly trying to help me?
She suggested I go take a class to get out of the house and change things up. Immediately, I said that wouldn't work. We have like 2 chain gyms that I know about, and you have to be a member to take classes there. There's also the Y, but you have to pay for a membership there, too. I'm not willing to do that. But hey.. if you spend your time doing something that isn't working, isn't it logical to change things and see if it works better? Why was I being so resistant??
She said, "But hey, where I live, we have all sorts of places where you can just take random classes!" I didn't know of any around here, but she started googling around and found Crossfit, which I immediately said NO to. lol. Why? I've read so many awful things about regular Joe type people going and getting Rhabdo and ending up in the hospital with permanent muscle damage. Not atheletes! Regular people! I've also read about how crossfit's main goal is to push you so hard that you vomit in one of the trashcans that they keep around expressly for that cause.
While I'm sure some of this is over-exaggeration, it doesn't seem like the kind of thing for me. I might see results much faster if I was willing to give it a try, but it comes down to that willingness, you know?? I have to be willing to put forth the effort to make 5AM classes, etc.
And with the gyms and any of those things, it's all expensive.
My friend said that she found a lot of yoga places in town. I only found one easily, and that's like 1200 bucks for a year. WTF. But.. they offered one class free, and had flexible memberships. You could buy say, 10 classes, or go monthly, or whatever. I thought about it and looked into it, but I don't think yoga is for me. I don't think I'd burn enough calories substituting it for my regular workout. I'd have to do it in addition to my regular workout.
Yeah, I don't know.
When I realized how negative I was being about all of it, though, I stopped myself and made a promise to my friend. I promised that I would look into other places when I had time in the afternoon. I mean, "I'll look into it later," is usually the cop out phrase I use for pushy people to get the subject dropped, but I earnestly meant it this time. And I did look into stuff!
Ideally, what I'd want is to be able to pay for just a class, not a gym/fitness center membership. The class/exercise/whatever would need to be something strenuous enough to burn calories and be a substitute for my regular workout. I wouldn't want to have to work out, then shower, then wait until the afternoon for some mega stretch class, then go do that, then shower again. One workout per day, please! I don't think I have it in me to do multiples, even if I could make the time!
I found a lot of great fitness centers, though! I was kind of interested in trying Zumba, since everyone's mom really seems to enjoy it. Unfortunately, all the zumba classes are at gyms/fitness centers. lol. I found some American Gladiator boot camp. It's 1 month long. You pay for the month, and you can go to unlimited sessions. Most locations only go 2 days/week, but there are like 3 locations in town, so I could go 4 or 5 days if I wanted. That sounded kind of neat, but I don't have all the equipment that they said I needed.
So.. thinking about that, but probably won't do it. The next one starts in Aug, and that month long spot is right where I need to be focusing the most on my weight loss, so it might be a good idea anyway. Unfortunately, all the locations are at least 20 min away from me. It's not that far, but whatever.
I found this other thing called REFIT, though. Apparently, it's some dance-based high energy workout that uses.. uh..radio songs or something? I don't know. It seemed like a cross between Zumba and Sweatin' to the Oldies but with more contemporary music. they offer 3 time slots every day except weekends. Weekends have 1 slot each day. Also, this place is seriously like 5 min from my house, and I've never noticed them. On top of that, it's REALLY cheap. I mean like $35 for unlimited classes/month cheap. 360 bucks for a year cheap. OMG. Compare that to the specialty yoga place that wants to charge 1200/year!
REFIT is apparently all over the country, but it started here in Waco. The only dedicated studio in the country is here, and everywhere else that does it either hosts streamed classes or gym classes or whatever. The whole thing sounds totally bizzare, but I'm thinking about trying it.
The only thing I don't like about the REFIT thing is that all the classes are in the late afternoon/early evening. I think they're mostly targeting housewives, honestly. I can't remember seeing a single guy in any of the promotional images. lol. Still, if it's a good cardio workout, it might be an exciting way to change things up for a while. I'd probably go in and drop the 5 bucks on an introductory class, and then see if I want to pay for a month. Then, I could decide if I want to do it Mon-Thus at the 6:30 time, or go in for a year, or whatever. If I go on mondays, I'll have to miss my Al-Anon meetings, and those are really important, too! But...... 35/mo is so nice, though!
If it is mostly cardio type stuff, and I end up really liking it, I'll probably invest in some weight bands for my wrists& ankles. We'll see. I have to get out of the house, first.
Anyway, I haven't had dinner yet, and I'm under 900 cal for today. If I have a 400 cal dinner, I can afford a sugar free jello pudding or a skinny cow chocolate ice cream bar for dessert and still be around 1400 cal. Or, if I'm not craving the ice cream, I can have 2 sugar free jello snacks, and end under 1350. Both sound good. I'm trying really hard today. I have a goal. And I'm working on my negative attitude. I feel like I've made progress today just because I spent time working on my attitude. That's good, too!
Saturday, July 19, 2014
I'm one of those people that likes to weigh every day. I like to see the little fluctuations and know that say, eating popcorn with cheese salt one day (but staying in range) might cause my weight to go up a little bit due to the extra sodium. I like learning about what has a direct effect on my weight. Most of the little fluctuations are water, and I've learned not to stress about that. Sometimes, after a strenuous workout, I'll retain extra water. While my rational brain knows THAT is no big deal, I tend to freak out a little bit when it hangs on for a few days :P
Such was the case with how sore I was after painting the house! I'm finally waking up without swollen hands& a sore butt, though, so that's good. The water weight is pretty much gone. Even though I weigh myself every morning, I do have an "official" weigh in day. Mondays are the start of a new week, and the day I use to mark my progress over time. So, I have today and tomorrow yet before week2 of being awesomely on track is over. I'm hoping for some better results...
You see, the initial goal was 1lb per week, which I didn't think was all that unreasonable, considering I was losing 2+ when I first started. I know things slow down, but I've also been doing very poorly with food, so I figured starting things up again would give me a fast initial loss like last time.
Not the case! It was like I never took a break! My body is being pretty stubborn. Sure, I had like 2 2000k days, but I figured I was doing really well the rest of the time& I should be seeing some faster loss. My week1 loss was about .5lb. I was kind of disappointed, but hey! Any loss is good loss!
Week2 is about to end, and the scale has moved maybe .2lb in that time. I didn't have a steady, gradual loss this week because of the weight fluctuations from when I painted. That's not a big deal, but I am starting to think that losing 8-10lbs by mid Sept was some crazy pipe dream. I'm trying really hard not to get discouraged, because I know that will cause me to bork up my food. When I get discouraged, I want to give up. When I want to give up, I cave in to temptation and eat ALL THE THINGS.
So, I'm trying really hard to stay on track. My exercise this week was unorthodox, but I still count it as not missing any days. Last sunday was supposed to be my rest day, but I didn't end up resting. I worked Sun-Weds on the house, and I sweated and worked hard all those days. My biceps, triceps, thighs, and butt ended up quite sore from climbing all over the house. I really needed a rest after that, so I took a rest day on Thurs. I went back to the bike yesterday, and I'm going to bike again here in a little bit after breakfast.
So, I basically just moved my rest day later down the week, right? Hah!
Anyway, I basically have 2 days to lose .8lb to reach my goal, and I just don't think that's going to happen. At this rate, my goals should be to just lose 5lbs by the wedding. :( I'm stressing out a little bit. I want to keep going as hard as I can, but I felt a little demoralized yesterday when I averaged out my calories. my few bad days+ a few mediocre days totally blasted my good days and made my over all average around 1650 cal. I really thought I'd been doing better than that. It's still under my maintenance of 1900 cal, but I know that I, personally, need to be between 1400-1500 to see any real progress. That, in a nutshell, explains why I've seen so little progress over all.
I don't know if I have what it takes to shave more calories off my daily intake. I can point my finger and say, "Well, if I didn't eat this one snack, everything would have been perfect for the day!." but I ate the snack because I really felt I needed it!
I've cut out all the boredom eating, and I'm only taking in snacks when my stomach is growling/aching/whatever. I suppose I really need to buckle down and start counting my water properly. Maybe I can up it more and have an easier time dropping the calories. I don't know. I feel like I'm on the right track, and my streak is about to hit week three. That's better than previous streaks in months!
I just needed to get some thoughts out of my head and down on a blog. I'm going to keep working hard! Thank you guys for being there for me. I haven't spent as much time on Spark as I'd like. I really want to go and send more replies to the people who have left me so many awesome comments, but I find myself spending less and less time on the computer lately!
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
Confession, guys! I didn't work out yesterday. I didn't work out today. Why? I'm painting the house!!!!!!! XD Well, not all of it. Just the south east wall for now.
Sunday was supposed to be my day off from exercise, but I just got antsy sitting around the house, so I grabbed a paint scraper and went crazy on one side of the house. We haven't painted the house since we moved in, and it really needs it. We plan to hire real painters to handle everything, but we can't afford that for a while. This year, we made a lot of improvements on the house, and paid it off! We don't have extra money floating around for painters. Next year, we've decided to take a vacation, since we aren't taking one together this year. That means that our peeling paint and bare wood have to last 2 years??
That's a recipe for wood rot and disaster.
So, since I was all antsy on Sun, I decided to scrape off 50 years of paint and start prepping the worst wall for some new paint. The Husband isn't all about DIY stuff, and I knew I wasn't going to get any help from him, so I didn't go crazy and strip the whole house. At the rate I've been going and the heat in Texas, it probably would have taken me at least a full week to do it working mornings. No thanks! I'll do the house one wall at a time as I get motivated! I just plan to do the worst spots right now, though, to try to preserve the cedar plywood siding until real painters can come and do a good job. lol
So.. day of rest.. crawling around the walls scraping, etc..
I guess it's exercise, so I tracked 3 hrs of housework? lol
I didn't get the wall totally scraped, so I worked on it yesterday, too. I managed to get just about everything done yesterday that I wanted to do.. right about when I lost my shade on that side of the house at 2:30.
This morning, I did some sanding and wiped everything down to prepare it for paint.
I'm about halfway down now.. and it's pouring. :( Of course!!
I mean, we ALWAYS need the water, but come on! My goal was to get that wall finished today so that when the lawn guys come tomorrow, it's dry and they don't blow piles of leaves onto wet paint!
Anyway, I was really sore yesterday afternoon, and sore today. The half pound I lost last week is back as water because I'm all inflamed and crap. I'm not concerned. I've been doing AWESOME with my calories. I haven't had a day over 1600 since the 8th, and most of my days are below 1500. I'm hoping to see some real progress this week. I've been working so hard that NOT losing anything by next week's weigh in would be really demoralizing.
Anyway, I'm not counting yesterday& today as lost workout days because I've been sweating like a pig and going up and down ladders, carrying heavy stuff, and working my arms for the majority of the day.
Right now, I'm waiting for the rain to stop. I'd really like to at least finish the first coat on the house. Even if I have to paint tomorrow, that's ok. I at least need to get that bare wood covered. We've got 30% chance of thunderstorms all week! Why couldn't it rain when I was scraping, and be sunny while I'm painting?? lol.
Anyway... I smell really lovely right now. And I'm damp. From sweat. Damp and smelly.
While I wait for better weather, I got some dishes going. I'll get some laundry started here in a little bit, since all my smelly painting clothes will need washing.
I feel full of all sorts of excited energy. I'm feeling really good about my fitness streak, and I really hope that I can stay on track. Since my bro broke up with the devil woman he was living with, (and everyone cheered!!) I'll be going down to Austin to help him move in a few weeks. I told him MULTIPLE times that I'm trying really hard to get back into it. He knows how hard I'm working, and he's actually working to get into better shape, too. I told him we can't do pizza& beer for 3 days when I'm down there. It would be devastating! Yeah, 3 days of pizza& beer isn't going to kill me, but the hard part is reigning in that appetite when you get back home!!
I told him that I expected that we have healthy breakfasts& lunches, and if he wants to go crazy for dinner, I need healthy options. I told him I would do pizza& beer ONCE, but only if we had a healthy breakfast& lunch, no snacks, and lots of packing/moving so I get exercise. I'm trying to make plans, but I know it's going to be bad regardless. :( Still, I'm going to try! After all, AnimeFEST is one week after I help him move.. then the wedding is less than a month after that!
And besides.. I'm doing so well right now! It would really be a shame to spiral back out of control in the middle of this crunch time, yo!
Anyway, I don't hear a lot of rain anymore. I'm going to see what the damage is outside. If the walls aren't damp, I'll get back to work. With any luck, the rain wasn't going in that direction& there wasn't a lot of splash. I really need to get this finished!
Saturday, July 12, 2014
I haven't been making progress as quickly as I like, but I suppose that's the same for everybody! I am so impatient sometimes!
Now that it's Saturday (and my rest day is Sunday), I can safely say that I completed my workout goal for the week! I did not skip a day. I got 45 min in on the bike Mon-Sat! Hooray! I did it! I also got some strength training in 2-3 days this week. Just some band work, nothing special, but a little bit extra is good, yeah?
I still have all of today and tomorrow to work on food. Food hasn't been perfect this week. Two days for certain that were over maintenance, but so far everything else has been under. I need to work hard today and tomorrow to keep my business where it needs to be. I may do some more band work today or tomorrow.. or some calf raises, squats, etc.. you know.. just a little bit here and there.
I'm trying not to let my husband's weekend binges get me down. It almost feels like he's cheating on me with the bottle, though, since we don't ever spend time together anymore. I almost feel like blaming his ipad for that too, though. It seems like he's always got his nose in something and talking to him just annoys him. I'm trying not to focus on it too much, because getting upset always derails my diet, whether it's from overeating or skipping workouts or whatever.
At any rate, the scale hasn't moved at all this week. Like I said, I'm super impatient :P I know it's going to take time, and 4 days of eating awesome and 6 days of working out isn't going to change things, but I really hope I see some change by Monday, or I'll have failed to lose 1 lb this week. I REALLY need to get that scale moving, or I'll fail to reach my goals for Sept. I'm already worried about the week I'll be in Denver away from home. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to control my breakfasts and PROBABLY my lunches, but everyone up there is so excited to see me that I think I'll be going out to eat with different friends almost every night. XD And I'm not sure what kinds of fitness options I'll have up there. I'm thinking that if there's enough room in my luggage, I'll just pack P90x and my strength bands. I won't be able to do ALL the exercises like that, but I'll be able to do most everything and still do SOMETHING, you know?
It's about two months away... so if I can at least lose 1lb/week for 2 months, I'll be down in the range I WANT to be down, but one whole week will be in Denver, so I'm really getting nervous. I'm hoping that this pressure/ time crunch will keep me focused. I've done really well this week, overall!
I'm also a little worried about shoes for the wedding. I bought some cute Calvin Klein shoes a few months ago on sale, and I've tried to break them in, but they rub in a really weird spot, and I can tell already that they won't be good for a wedding. I have another pair in gold that should match everything and I KNOW will be ok, but they are peep-toe. The problem with this is... my big toe nails have detatched again. :( The fungus I thought was gone came back in a very subtle way. I had to cut off all the affected nail so I could treat it, so they look really gnarly right now. I spent the last 6 months growing them back in!!! Nooooooo
It's not painful, but I'm a little self conscious. I got a new treatment I'm trying this time. It's a topical, so it wouldn't work if I left the bad nail bits on there. The Husband says it's the best drug I can get for it without a prescription, so I'm trying the drops. I just hope that they grow out enough that I can just paint my toes with nail polish for a day or something!
Also, it really impedes my ability to wear high heels since the pressure on the nail bed does not feel good. I pretty much avoided anything with a heel for the last 6 months (With the exception of one day at A-kon... and they were pretty well grown in last month), so I'm a little nervous about it all. If I was able to find something appropriate, comfortable AND closed toe, I'd feel a lot better, but I REALLY REALLY REALLY don't want to buy any more shoes. So we'll see what happens.
Anyway... I was pretty upset over the husband's shenanigans so I didn't really have anything for breakfast this morning. When I'm really upset, I don't want to eat. I had a coffee with a little bit of creamer. I can kind of feel my stomach grumbling now, though. I have an hour and a half until lunch, AND I have some errands to run, so I need to try to figure out what I'm going to do. I can have a little snack now, then go out and grab something healthy on the way home, or I can sit around here, have lunch, THEN go out. I don't know.
Part of me wants to get out of the house RIGHT NOW, but I kind of need a shower, you know?? :P
Oh yeah! I remembered it's TOM, so that's probably another reason why the scale isn't moving. Also, I'm pretty sure I had too much salt yesterday. I'm not panicking too much YET. Give me a month. Then I'll panic :P I just really want to be in a place where I'm losing again, feeling good about myself again, and feeling like I'm making progress.
I'm getting close. I feel really good about this week. I just need to keep it up.
Next week's goals: Mostly the same as this week's! I'm not really changing much because I still feel like BABY STEPS, YO!
*Another 1 week of exercise without skipping. This is already going to be tough, since Nugget has to go in to the vet on Mon during my normal workout time. I'll have to workout afterwards, or in the afternoon, and that's always tricky for me, because once I get going for the day, I don't want to do it. That's why I like morning workouts. I feel like I can get it done before my day actually starts. Though.. sometimes I end up working out pretty late and then I feel weird, because it feels like my day starts at 1PM.... lol
*Track everything all week
*Shoot for under 1600 calories all week. (This week's goal was to stay under maintenance. That might end up being next week's goal.. but I'm aiming high :P )
*Pick up the resistance bands at least x3... even if it's only 10 min of arm work
*Watch my water intake a little bit better and try harder for my 4 bottles/day
Rules are the same! Feel free to stop by and ask me how things are going, or let me know what you've been up to!
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