PT.JEFFGIRL   123,108
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PT.JEFFGIRL's Recent Blog Entries

Shopping

Saturday, November 22, 2014

My husband had reluctantly agreed to come shopping with me. But when he found himself stuck in a lingerie shop while I tried on one garment after another, he regretted his decision. Impatient and bored he asked a salesclerk, "Is there anything in the store for men?"

"Sir," she said, "everything in this store is for men."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BECKYSFRIEND 11/22/2014 10:12PM

    emoticon

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GRAMMYEAC 11/22/2014 10:01PM

    You bet'cha!!

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KNEEMAKER 11/22/2014 9:47PM

  As a male, I agree 100%. Thanks for sharing.

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KNEEMAKER 11/22/2014 9:45PM

  As a male, I agree 100%. Thanks for sharing.

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LUCYCAN7 11/22/2014 8:01PM

  Sooooo True everything in there is for MAN,duh? emoticon emoticon
Thanks for sharing!Linda

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MCFITZ2 11/22/2014 6:22PM

    Teeee heeeee heeeee so true emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 11/22/2014 6:12PM

    Touche!

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ARNETTELEE 11/22/2014 6:06PM

  Ha ha ha

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Vacuum Salesman

Friday, November 21, 2014

A little old woman answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner."Good morning," said the young man.

"If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.

"Go away!" said the old woman. "I haven't got any money!" and she proceeded to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open.

"Don't be too hasty!" he said.

"Not until you have at least seen my demonstration."

In addition, with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.

"If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."

The old woman stepped back and said, "Well I hope you've got a darned good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LUCYCAN7 11/22/2014 12:23PM

  OH NO,YUCK! emoticon THANKS LINDA

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GRAMMYEAC 11/21/2014 10:45PM

    Oh, no!

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BECKYSFRIEND 11/21/2014 10:13PM

    emoticon

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MCFITZ2 11/21/2014 8:36PM

    Yes I have heard this one before. Still funny. emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 11/21/2014 7:32PM

    Bwahahaha!

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English School

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Donald MacDonald from Scotland went to study at an English university and was living in the hall of residence with all the other students there. After he had been there a month, his mother came to visit him.

"And how do you find the English students, Donald?" she asked.

"Mother," he replied, "they're such terrible, noisy people. The one on that side keeps banging his head on the wall and won't stop. The one on the other side screams and screams all night."

"Oh Donald! How do you manage to put up with these awful noisy English neighbors?"

"Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I just stay here quietly, playing my bagpipes."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOROTHYBERO 11/20/2014 10:03AM

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GRAMMYEAC 11/19/2014 9:16PM

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1CRAZYDOG 11/19/2014 7:48PM

    surprise ending to that!

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LUCYCAN7 11/19/2014 7:40PM

  OMG THAT IS GREAT! emoticon THANKS FOR SHARING! emoticon

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Conch Light

Monday, November 17, 2014

In a misguided burst of creativity, I installed a night-light in a conch shell I found on the beach. My wife took an instant dislike to it, and at the next yard sale it was the first thing she put out.

I felt vindicated when a woman kept coming back to check it out then finally bought it. "That will look great in your home," I said. "Oh it is not for me," she explained. "My bridge club is having a charity auction and we were asked to bring in the most hideous thing we can find. What I've got here is a winner."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BECKYSFRIEND 11/18/2014 10:26PM

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DOROTHYBERO 11/18/2014 8:57AM

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1CRAZYDOG 11/17/2014 5:20PM

    UH oh! Not the answers HE was hoping for!

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MARGOH12 11/17/2014 4:59PM

    emoticon I needed a good laugh

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In Uniform

Friday, November 14, 2014

My husband wore his Army uniform with pride. One day, coming home from the base and dressed in olive drab fatigues, he stopped off at the grocery store to pick up a few things.

While in line at the check out counter, he noticed a little boy standing with his Mother. The boy took one look at my husband in his uniform, and his eyes grew wide. My husband in turn gave the young man a crisp salute. The boy was so excited. He pointed at my husband and announced," LOOK , MOM, A GIANT BOY SCOUT."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOROTHYBERO 11/15/2014 7:43AM

    emoticon

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BECKYSFRIEND 11/14/2014 10:57PM

    emoticon

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JTREMBATH 11/14/2014 8:14PM

    CUTE emoticon

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PYNETREE 11/14/2014 8:09PM

    Thank your "giant Boy Scout" for his service! LOL!

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GRAMMYEAC 11/14/2014 8:08PM

    Fun!!!

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MM11113 11/14/2014 7:05PM

    emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 11/14/2014 7:01PM

    Cute!!!

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LUCYCAN7 11/14/2014 6:51PM

  THAT IS A GOOD ONE! emoticon

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ARNETTELEE 11/14/2014 6:13PM

  How cute!

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