Tuesday, July 08, 2014
The past several years have been extremely difficult for me, and I find myself back at the beginning of the journey, so am hoping some of you are ready to walk through it with me. I can't even tell you how much weight I have gained because I threw out my scale 6 years ago when I was rocking the program.
Today I did a walk/run...it wasn't pretty, but it did happen (4k in total). I had a difficult time even jogging 200 metres...ok, here we go!!!
I know it will feel better with time, I also know it will likely feel better faster than before because of muscle memory, but it is a tough sell when you know where you were, to where you are. Part of moving forward is accepting where you are, and looking to where you want to be. I have a picture of my kidlets and I that was taken 2 days before my first marathon. We looked so happy!!! Don was at Depot (RCMP training academy), and wanted to do runs with me...he HATED running, so it didn't really work. My Dad ran the last 100 metres of the race....he couldn't keep up with me, which was AWESOME!!!. Don passed away last year from an aggressive cancer, and I haven't been able to move forward since then...kind of stuck. We were married for 16 years, together for 19...had 2 wonderful kidlets. My goal is to be in the same shape as I was in that wonderful picture...my kidlets also want that:):)
I hope that by getting the rwalk in today (aka - run/walk), and by talking about this, I can try to find a way to keep on moving forward.
Tomorrow I am planning on a 45 minute rwalk,
Many of you know me, I am the founder of the rookie running group, and have run a ton of races, but our biggest race is our life, and I want to walk this one with people that want to make a difference with the most important thing...YOU~~~
Sunday, September 08, 2013
Reality check for me...the injuries I have had, along with Don's death have totally derailed me - I am heavier than I have been in years, and not being able to do much for a while have contributed to where I am...
Step one is done - get a gym membership.
Step 2 is tougher - my doc isn't going to clear me for cardio anytime soonish, so I am going to do strength training until that happens.
Step 3 - nutrition hasn't been an issue in 7 years, so I am just going to keep on keepin on with that one.
Step 4 - find something to focus on - not sure what that will be...I can't run (or walk for that matter)...Anyone have an idea of something to set for a goal "race"?
Hug and love,
Monday, August 26, 2013
So we made it through the summer in a pretty great fashion...kidlets have thrived.
After Don passed, we just kind of made it to the end of the school year. Can't even believe that the kidlets got straight "A"s given all that was going on. The first week in July Missy went to the Canadian Scouting Jambouree in Calgary - she had a BLAST!!! While she was gone, Josh and I went to Silverwood in Coeur d'laine....so much fun!!!
Got back, and 2 days later we hit California for 14 days. We had a blast at Disney, the kids are old enough to do single rider for all rides, so it was WAY quicker than the last time. Met up with Leah and Maria (great friends on spark) to see the Hollywood sign and do some shopping - the mustaches ruled (the girls bought staches for all of us!!!) We had so much fun with them - my kidlets can't wait until we see them again.
My Dad and Susan showed up for part of the trip. They did Disney for one day, then SeaWorld, then Knott's Berry Farm...Josh got DRENCHED by Shamu, and I got FREAKED out by the roller coaster that makes you go 80 miles/hr in 3 seconds.
We had a great time there, and once we got back, there were 3 days until Missy had to hit Vernon for a goalie soccer camp. While she was there, Josh hit Penticton to go fishing with my sis. After that camp, we headed to Osoyoos for ringette camp - what a gong show that was!!! We had borrowed a motorhome for the week, but it was really dirty. The kidlets tried to clean the carpets etc...still smelled.
We stayed there for the first night, but couldn't plug in because it had solar power that died really early...was going to try the "real" plugin the next day. Next day, called the people that owned it, and they told us what to do to plug in...didn't work. It was over 125 F in the motorhome, the kidlets played over 7 hours of ringette...I had to make a move... Ended up finding a hotel for the rest of the week, driving the motorhome back home, and bringing my van down. Kids did so well at the camp, and I got to leave it with a 3rd degree sprain of my ankle, and a bunch of torn muscles and ligaments because Monkey dared me to do a cannonball into relatively shallow water (bad Mom!!!)
Once we got back, Josh had baseball camp, trained by some amazing Toronto Blue Jay's alumni!!! Now we are getting ready to go camping this weekend for family camp (a bunch of friends).
Tonight I realized that my wedding anniversary is this Saturday. We are having a dinner at family camp that night, and I am not quite sure how I will handle it. I am close to tears, and can't really believe that my hubby has passed away....that this is a permanent situation (unlike the 4 years he was away for the RCMP). I know, I know....we have been dealing with it for a while, but this is the first real milestone (apart from Missy's b'day) that we have hit. It is a really tough one, and I just don't know how to deal with all the emotions.
Hopefully it won't be as bad as I think it will...I love him so much!!!!!
Friday, May 24, 2013
I have learned a lot about myself in the past few weeks....
1. My kidlets are my world...I would do anything to keep them safe, and give them a place to grieve and vent.
2. When my body says to sleep, it means it...shutting down allows me to cope, process, and get ready for what is coming next.
3. If I don't feel like talking to people it just doesn't matter...texting is fine, likely an easier way to communicate for a wee bit.
4. Don is going to be hanging out with us forever, he gives us signs all of the time, so take strength from that.
5. When there is joy experience it, don't condemn myself for going there...life is for living, and we need to seize the moment.
6. Love myself and my family, as we have gone through a really terrible couple of years.
7. Be forever thankful that Don isn't in pain anymore...it was the worst thing I have seen - wish I could have taken it away from him....so glad he is with God and feeling nothing but love and joy:):)
Love you all!!
Tuesday, May 07, 2013
A lot of you guys know that I was planning on a surprise attack on Cincinnati for the Flying Pig last week. I had planned, Merle was my partner in crime, had the hotel and the flight. WAS SOOOO excited...Missy and Josh were choked I was doing it (because they couldn't go), but happy that I was getting away.
Don got really bad on Tuesday night...I won't give you details...it was REALLY bad, and I called 911 to bring him to the hospital. If he had waited 6 hours, I would have been on my way to Cinci, and my daughter, Missy would have had to make the decision to call and bring him in...then nobody would have been home. My precious kidlets would have been all alone...ok, probably someone would have been there, but not anyone that would help.
The Lord and Don made sure that (even though he was pissed off), I was home, and we would make it through.
Seeing Bobby D's blog made me so happy and sad...
WE will need time to deal with stuff, but we will eventually get there.
Love you all:):)
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