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I Figured Out Why I've Been in a Rut!

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Thank you, KAYTIE22, for suggesting that I search for the underlying cause of my recent lack of motivation and increased sluggishness. I found it!

I've had a student teacher with me since January 28. He is the fourth student teacher of my career, and I usually enjoy mentoring new educators. However, this guy's attitude and arrogance was such a downer that I was dreading going to work, sinking into a depression, and binge eating every other night.

FINALLY, I held some mediation sessions with the guy. Unfortunately, they did not go well -- his arrogance refused to let him admit when he was wrong. Luckily I have a very supportive staff. My administrators worked with me on the issue, and today (having reached an impasse in the learning environment) my principal terminated the student teacher's placement.

At first, I was overwhelmed with feelings of guilt and failure. Yet with each hour that passed today, my guilt melted into an intense relief. By the time I got home, I challenged my daughter to several rounds of Just Dance 2014, worked up a sweat, and smiled for the first time in days.

I think I'm back!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRIANGLE-WOMAN 3/2/2014 9:49AM


Seek the answer and it will appear....


)) -::-
. .))
((. .. Spread the Spark-::-
-::- ((.*

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MILLERGIRL719 3/1/2014 8:20AM


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KAYTIE22 2/28/2014 8:32PM

    Yeah! Glad this worked for you. There are usually reasons that drive us to drop our healthy eating and exercise habits. You and your administrators tried to help the student teacher but standing his ground and not taking advantage of this help was his decision alone. I can't believe that he would rather be terminated than to learn from the guidance you were trying to give him.

When I was teaching I had only one student teacher that was assigned to me and another teacher. Unfortunately, both of us had to write low evaluations. She came in late, she dozed in the class, etc. She completed her term but the comments did not look well on her record. I have wondered if she was later hired for a position and what became of her.

I am really happy for you. So nice to see you happy and upbeat again.

emoticon emoticon

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SLIMLEAF 2/28/2014 11:30AM

    That's good to hear - thanks for the update.

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BEATLETOT 2/28/2014 10:18AM

    You've done him a favor. He will hopefully take a lesson from this experience and learn to listen and maybe get some humility.

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POSITIVE41 2/28/2014 6:15AM

    It's hard to stay on track when other people are bringing you down. Don't feel guilty, everyone has choices to make in life and he made his choice. Enjoy your weekend!

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NUOVAELLE 2/28/2014 2:05AM

    Negative people are the greatest destroyers of self-esteem and any desire for positive changes. Especially at the work environment, where things are not always within our control, they can create really awful feelings with their behavior.
No reason for you to feel guilty.If he could take off the arrogance cloak for just a moment and he could use some clarity of mind to think, he would realize that you just taught him an invaluable lesson for his future career. Modesty, humbleness, politeness are all must-have characteristics of an educator.
Enjoy the relief and welcome back!

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FENWAYGIRL18 2/27/2014 11:51PM

    Don't feel guilty he had an opportunity and HE blew it! You probably did the kids a favor as he would of passed his arrogance down to the kids and they wouldn't of wanted to learn.
I hope things get better for you now!

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    You are absolutely right! I have been struggling for a long time (yes, my mom died last April, but that's not most of the issue) with weight gain, cravings, the hip and knee pain, etc. My hip FINALLY started getting better right after I started my new job! The issue is that I'm STILL at the old job every other week because the new job only needs me every other week. I'm still stressed out every other week and do not look forward to going to work. Even though I gave them a deadline (I will be able to share the opposite week's hours with my new coworker to have enough hours), it is still May 1st and it seems like a long time away. I'm definitely looking forward to letting go and getting on with my dream job.

Don't feel bad or guilty. It is NOT your fault this guy was an a**-it's all about him. Glad you're back! Take a breath and start being happy again! HUGS!

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Better Days

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

I avoided the scale this morning -- probably a good thing. I didn't want my attitude to depend upon a number.

Small victories:
* Ate healthy and tracked everything
* Joined my 8-year-old daughter for 30 minutes of Just Dance 2014 and worked up quite a sweat
* Dealt patiently with a student teacher who does not handle constructive criticism -- at all
* Read for 30 minutes with my daughter
* Helped my 6-year-old son learn how to count change
* Had a family dinner
* Avoided snacking after school (2 days in a row!)

Cheers, Sparkfriends! Each day can be a great one.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAYTIE22 2/26/2014 8:11PM

    What a productive day! WTG!

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SLIMLEAF 2/26/2014 8:36AM

    That's one Big Heap of positives, Rebecca - well done!

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POSITIVE41 2/26/2014 5:36AM


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NUOVAELLE 2/26/2014 1:36AM

    Well done, Rebecca! It's the little things that really count and the baby steps that lead us slowly but surely to our destination. And the wisdom to know when to avoid the scale is always a good thing!
Keep on sparking!

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    Nice job! Keep it up! :)

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Struggling -- Facing It

Sunday, February 23, 2014

This is weird. I'm in the biggest rut, and it's characterized by some bizarre manic behaviors. For example...

Friday: "Hooray! I have the day off work. I did a 5k on the treadmill and was able to jog the first 1.75 miles! I ate healthy. I am a strong, capable woman, and I will meet my goals!"

Saturday: "...I just don't care. Eat the chocolate-covered raisins on the couch. I should work out...but I don't want to. What does it matter? I'll never win. My legs are lumpy and dripping with extra fat. I may as well give up."

How is it possible to go from one extreme to the other in such a short time?

Better question: Who do I LIKE better? Obviously, it's the Friday girl. She's goal-oriented and ready to celebrate small steps. Saturday girl, on the other hand, gives up before she begins and bemoans her faults even as she sits on her butt and stuffs her face with chocolate. I don't LIKE that girl...yet that is who shows up more lately.

Okay. So I need to ban the couch-sitting, face-stuffing, negative-thinking side of myself.

1. Stay off the couch. While watching TV, sit on the floor and stretch, pet the dog, curl up with a pillow...None of these involve food!
2. Pray. Seriously -- am I really going to tell God that I'm about to binge and think He's going to give me a thumbs-up and a wink?
3. Have a workout plan that allows for rest days. I don't have to exercise every single day as long as I am working out strong some of those days.
4. Track the food BEFORE I eat it.
5. Stop the hating. I am a 146-pound woman with a family and a full-time job. I could complete a 5k tomorrow if necessary, and I can hold my own in a sparring match. I need to start loving what my body can do instead of hating the flaws.

Any other strategies are welcome! Please share!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FITBIZZZ 2/24/2014 12:13PM

    Well said. I love your analyzation.

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    Ah, the emotional eating beast. You should come to my workshop on Wednesday night at 6:30. We are going to explore this subject and figure out ways to stuff that beast down. HUGS! You are doing great my friend!

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KAYTIE22 2/23/2014 8:06PM

    Excellent strategies and I know you will see a lot of progress by following them. Just hang in there and keep pushing. We always seem to dwell on those times that we aren't following our program or go off track. But think about how far you've come.

Picture yourself being that Friday girl and how it makes you feel. Then look over at her sister the Saturday girl. You know what you think about her and that she does not represent who you really are or want to be. There's usually a reason why she's been showing up more lately. Something is going on that keeps inviting her in. Boredom? Frustration with something else? A release of tension? Get in touch with those reasons and follow the strategies you have written down.

The most important thing is not to beat yourself up. When we dwell on it we prevent ourselves from moving on. When we get back on track IT'S OVER whether it takes a day, a few days, a week or longer. There's no reason to look back. To keep moving forward is the key.

Other suggestion: journaling to get more in touch with your feelings. I would also suggest to read some of the motivating blogs on SparkPeople especially the ones written by INDYGIRL. There a lot of people out there that experience the same thoughts, feelings, ups and downs on their journey and they are finding ways to handle these challenges. They have a lot of good things to say.

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SLIMLEAF 2/23/2014 2:36PM

    Ah, so it's not just me that has this problem then!

Your strategies for seeing more of Friday Girl and less of Saturday Girl are all good.

My only additional suggestion would be to congratulate yourself on every little positive step - and I mean Little! So you got out of bed - good! Washed and dressed - that's really positive. Had a healthy breakfast - great!

The more you cheer yourself on and tell yourself how well you're doing, the more Saturday Girl will turn into Friday Girl!

And give thanks - thank God for every good thing - clean water to drink, a comfortable bed to sleep in, a parking space, being able to walk without pain - anything you can think of for which you are grateful. It will, once again, promote the Friday Girl in you!

Yes, it's hard, but with Jesus you can do anything and be assured - He's cheering you on every step of the way!

Hope this helps.


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My Inner Personal Trainer

Sunday, January 12, 2014

My goal on the treadmill today: Get in 30 minutes.

As I was setting up (fill water bottle, get shoes on), the slightly wimpy side of my psyche began its spiel: "So...30 minutes. I could walk two miles, then, right? Or, how about if I jog one mile and then walk the rest. Or...what if I just do two miles and then call it a night, no matter what the time says?"

From deep within me, a voice answered through clenched teeth, "I don't give a damn what you do. Just make sure that treadmill says 30:00 before you're done."

Miffed, I began jogging, a slow jog for one minute, a faster jog for three minutes. It's not much to brag about, but I did finish my first mile without out walking since the foot got cleared. My time was 11:40.

"Great work!" I told myself. "To celebrate, you should just walk another mile and then call it a night."

To my chagrin, that other voice popped up again: "That would only be 27 minutes. Not good enough."

"But...I'm tired!"

"So walk. Stroll. Crawl. But you're still doing 30 minutes."

Long, disgruntled sigh. I keep jogging. Then I walk. Then I jog. Then I walk. I hit 2 miles around 25 minutes. The voice is smug; I can hear that its arms are crossed and a military smirk graces its imaginary face. "Five more minutes to go. What are you going to do?"

Walk. Jog. Walk. End result: 2.5 miles in 32 minutes. My spirits perk up. A bit longer, and I could have done a 5k.

The voice chuckles. "That's right. Get ready to do that on Tuesday."

I can't escape the voice...thankfully.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JACKIE15108 1/15/2014 2:58PM

    Put the volume on the TV up a little louder!!!!

Congrats on the good work and next time you will hit the 3.1 mile and be really happy! emoticon

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SLIMLEAF 1/15/2014 12:50PM

    Excellent - well done!

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WENDYSPARKS 1/14/2014 5:12AM


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GRANDMABABA 1/14/2014 3:05AM

    I love your inner trainer voice. I need to hire one for myself. Great success to you!

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KAYTIE22 1/13/2014 9:53PM

    Will you rent out your inner personal trainer to me? emoticon
WTG! We can always push ourselves further and this is a perfect example. That voice can be our best friend.

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OHMEMEME 1/13/2014 9:18PM

    That OTHER voice wins out many times...mine kept asking the same thing my whole first mile, did not even notice the second mile till I was on the third mile...when I realized I had been on auto pilot! Mile 3.8 and I was home thinking about why I ever questioned if I should walk run or just walk...I has just gotten in a balanced walk run! Keep it up Spark Friend! Enjoyed the blog! emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/13/2014 9:19:20 PM

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PGHP31CK 1/13/2014 12:40PM

    Ah, nothing quite like having an inner drill sargeant! Good for you for sticking with it!


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GETSTRONGRRR 1/13/2014 6:28AM

    That's a good voice to have....mine sounds like Schwarzenegger!

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NUOVAELLE 1/13/2014 3:07AM

    I can picture that voice with its crossed arms and the military smirk! And that voice has a number of names: motivation, determination, commitment, change, success! Keep on listening to it, Rebecca!
emoticon emoticon

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    Sounds like the voice in MY head many times too! :) Great job!

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Welcome, 2014!

Wednesday, January 01, 2014

Hello, New Year! I am so happy right now, relaxing in my sunroom with a snowstorm whirling outside. Why, you ask? Simply because I feel so incredibly blessed. This holiday season has given me so many wonderful moments with my family. For those of you who know about my husband's medical issues, he is doing SO much better -- almost completely healed. After two tumultuous years, the sun is shining, the pain is nearly gone, and our marriage is stronger than ever.

Now, that doesn't mean there isn't room for personal improvement. Turns out I have been indulging far too often -- and I say that with a smile. No regrets at all, just a lot of work to do. In a sense, I am reminded of my post-partum body: the weight gain was worth it, yet it's time to start traveling the road back to a healthier me.

This morning I weighted in at 148, murmured, "Oh, my!" and then chuckled. Yes, my curves have gotten a few pounds meatier. My clothes still fit, and my hubby says I look as good as always. But it's time for a change. First of all, 148 is the highest number I've seen on that scale in over a year. Second, I got winded on the treadmill last night before I even finished the first half-mile. Don't even ask about my tae kwon do classes; the last one I attended left me sore for four days!

So, yes, it's time. I'm back to using The Spark Solution for meals (so yummy!) and will be heading down to the treadmill as soon as I'm done posting. Let's brush off the dust together and get moving again!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SLIMLEAF 1/2/2014 10:46AM

    What a great attitude you have! SO much healthier than mine. I like your attitude much better - may I borrow / copy it?!

Best wishes for 2014 and I look forward to celebrating your slimmer frame with you.


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NUOVAELLE 1/2/2014 4:34AM

    I'm glad your husband is doing better and I'm also really happy to see you in such an optimistic and positive mood! I love your no-guilt and no-regret mindset and I'm right there with you, brushing off the dust and getting moving again!
Let's do our best to make it a healthy and happy 2014!
emoticon emoticon

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68ANNE 1/2/2014 2:36AM

    I take the dust bunnies out exercising with me. They love it!

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BEATLETOT 1/1/2014 9:05PM

    How AWESOME that your husband is better! I know it's been SUCH a struggle, and I am so happy for you all. This is going to be a GREAT year for you.

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KAYTIE22 1/1/2014 5:58PM

    I am so happy to hear that your husband is doing better and to hear the smile and happiness in your writing. That is wonderful news. I know you will get back on track and widdle down those few extra pounds. The important thing is that you are going to take action and that is the road to success.

Thanks for the goodie and for your support and encouragement too in 2013. Let's make 2014 a fantastic one. Yeah!

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GETSTRONGRRR 1/1/2014 4:40PM

    Great news, kiddo! Here's to a great 2014!

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PGHP31CK 1/1/2014 3:29PM

    So glad to hear the news about your hubby! Praise the Lord!

Cheering you on in 2014 -- we CAN do this!!

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    That is so awesome that Brian is almost healed! WOO HOO! I'm going to start going back to TKD in January. I'm finally almost pain free and will be able to go back but will NOT be able to do any jumping at all for the time being. Will probably start out in the back of the room. I've gained 30 pounds since my knee surgery and am ready to get it back off. Started the weight loss program at my new job and have lost 6 so far. Let's make 2014 awesome! :) Miss you!

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