Thursday, February 27, 2014
Thank you, KAYTIE22, for suggesting that I search for the underlying cause of my recent lack of motivation and increased sluggishness. I found it!
I've had a student teacher with me since January 28. He is the fourth student teacher of my career, and I usually enjoy mentoring new educators. However, this guy's attitude and arrogance was such a downer that I was dreading going to work, sinking into a depression, and binge eating every other night.
FINALLY, I held some mediation sessions with the guy. Unfortunately, they did not go well -- his arrogance refused to let him admit when he was wrong. Luckily I have a very supportive staff. My administrators worked with me on the issue, and today (having reached an impasse in the learning environment) my principal terminated the student teacher's placement.
At first, I was overwhelmed with feelings of guilt and failure. Yet with each hour that passed today, my guilt melted into an intense relief. By the time I got home, I challenged my daughter to several rounds of Just Dance 2014, worked up a sweat, and smiled for the first time in days.
I think I'm back!
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
I avoided the scale this morning -- probably a good thing. I didn't want my attitude to depend upon a number.
* Ate healthy and tracked everything
* Joined my 8-year-old daughter for 30 minutes of Just Dance 2014 and worked up quite a sweat
* Dealt patiently with a student teacher who does not handle constructive criticism -- at all
* Read for 30 minutes with my daughter
* Helped my 6-year-old son learn how to count change
* Had a family dinner
* Avoided snacking after school (2 days in a row!)
Cheers, Sparkfriends! Each day can be a great one.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
This is weird. I'm in the biggest rut, and it's characterized by some bizarre manic behaviors. For example...
Friday: "Hooray! I have the day off work. I did a 5k on the treadmill and was able to jog the first 1.75 miles! I ate healthy. I am a strong, capable woman, and I will meet my goals!"
Saturday: "...I just don't care. Eat the chocolate-covered raisins on the couch. I should work out...but I don't want to. What does it matter? I'll never win. My legs are lumpy and dripping with extra fat. I may as well give up."
How is it possible to go from one extreme to the other in such a short time?
Better question: Who do I LIKE better? Obviously, it's the Friday girl. She's goal-oriented and ready to celebrate small steps. Saturday girl, on the other hand, gives up before she begins and bemoans her faults even as she sits on her butt and stuffs her face with chocolate. I don't LIKE that girl...yet that is who shows up more lately.
Okay. So I need to ban the couch-sitting, face-stuffing, negative-thinking side of myself.
1. Stay off the couch. While watching TV, sit on the floor and stretch, pet the dog, curl up with a pillow...None of these involve food!
2. Pray. Seriously -- am I really going to tell God that I'm about to binge and think He's going to give me a thumbs-up and a wink?
3. Have a workout plan that allows for rest days. I don't have to exercise every single day as long as I am working out strong some of those days.
4. Track the food BEFORE I eat it.
5. Stop the hating. I am a 146-pound woman with a family and a full-time job. I could complete a 5k tomorrow if necessary, and I can hold my own in a sparring match. I need to start loving what my body can do instead of hating the flaws.
Any other strategies are welcome! Please share!
Sunday, January 12, 2014
My goal on the treadmill today: Get in 30 minutes.
As I was setting up (fill water bottle, get shoes on), the slightly wimpy side of my psyche began its spiel: "So...30 minutes. I could walk two miles, then, right? Or, how about if I jog one mile and then walk the rest. Or...what if I just do two miles and then call it a night, no matter what the time says?"
From deep within me, a voice answered through clenched teeth, "I don't give a damn what you do. Just make sure that treadmill says 30:00 before you're done."
Miffed, I began jogging, a slow jog for one minute, a faster jog for three minutes. It's not much to brag about, but I did finish my first mile without out walking since the foot got cleared. My time was 11:40.
"Great work!" I told myself. "To celebrate, you should just walk another mile and then call it a night."
To my chagrin, that other voice popped up again: "That would only be 27 minutes. Not good enough."
"So walk. Stroll. Crawl. But you're still doing 30 minutes."
Long, disgruntled sigh. I keep jogging. Then I walk. Then I jog. Then I walk. I hit 2 miles around 25 minutes. The voice is smug; I can hear that its arms are crossed and a military smirk graces its imaginary face. "Five more minutes to go. What are you going to do?"
Walk. Jog. Walk. End result: 2.5 miles in 32 minutes. My spirits perk up. A bit longer, and I could have done a 5k.
The voice chuckles. "That's right. Get ready to do that on Tuesday."
I can't escape the voice...thankfully.
Wednesday, January 01, 2014
Hello, New Year! I am so happy right now, relaxing in my sunroom with a snowstorm whirling outside. Why, you ask? Simply because I feel so incredibly blessed. This holiday season has given me so many wonderful moments with my family. For those of you who know about my husband's medical issues, he is doing SO much better -- almost completely healed. After two tumultuous years, the sun is shining, the pain is nearly gone, and our marriage is stronger than ever.
Now, that doesn't mean there isn't room for personal improvement. Turns out I have been indulging far too often -- and I say that with a smile. No regrets at all, just a lot of work to do. In a sense, I am reminded of my post-partum body: the weight gain was worth it, yet it's time to start traveling the road back to a healthier me.
This morning I weighted in at 148, murmured, "Oh, my!" and then chuckled. Yes, my curves have gotten a few pounds meatier. My clothes still fit, and my hubby says I look as good as always. But it's time for a change. First of all, 148 is the highest number I've seen on that scale in over a year. Second, I got winded on the treadmill last night before I even finished the first half-mile. Don't even ask about my tae kwon do classes; the last one I attended left me sore for four days!
So, yes, it's time. I'm back to using The Spark Solution for meals (so yummy!) and will be heading down to the treadmill as soon as I'm done posting. Let's brush off the dust together and get moving again!
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