Monday, April 29, 2013
First, since I haven't written a blog since my last one, I want to give my greatest thanks to everyone who commented then. It seems a silly thing sometimes to be so upset over a simple inability to exercise the way I want to or as much as I want to, for a while. It's just such a blow to who I am trying to be and my hopes for the future, and so it's hard to take. Thank you to everyone who understands that, and who took the time out of their day to say so, and to offer e-hugs and other things. I appreciate it. You're the best thing about Sparkpeople.
The worst thing about Sparkpeople, I'm finding (at least for me) is that I have a very low tolerance for certain points of view on issues of good nutrition, disease prevention, and so on. It's often not the points of view themselves. It's no skin off my back, for instance, if someone in the forums is enthusiastic about the paleo diet and is eager to say how well it worked for her and suggest it to other people as an option for them as well. But it gets under my skin in the worst way when it is suggested (as I have seen many times) that that (or something similarly low-carbohydrate/no wheat or whatever) is the only way to lose weight, because I know its' not true. I see statements that wheat is bad for you, grains are bad for you, legumes are bad for you, and so on, trotted out daily as if they are simple fact, when they are no more than the unscientific (if scientifically-dressed) opinions of currently trendy authors and nutritional pundits. As someone who is in all practical terms (if not ethical or strict ones) a vegetarian and who therefore MUST eat both grains and legumes every day, this gets under my skin like you wouldn't believe. I should not take it so personally, but I cant' help but feel insulted and sneered at ('what an idiot, she still thinks Big Agriculture's Food Pyramid is healthy, hurdurdur') every time I see things like that. And they just keep coming.
Just now I read a blog by a spark friend of mine that should have been innocent enough, it was all about disease prevention through good nutrition, something I actually believe in myself in a general sense. But the specifics got to me, because the suggestion seemed to be that if you just eat right (according to the touted author's strict set of rules, that is) at the right times (when seeing certain common symptoms) you can prevent cancer, and as someone who has seen both of the most important women in my life -- neither of whom has ever been a bad eater -- fight cancer that they never saw coming, that is exactly the type of thing that just infuriates me.
And it seems to be everywhere I turn on SP, just eat this way and you'll be healthy, just do that and you'll be skinny, just listen to me and you'll never die! It doesn't work that way! Life is not that fair. And those who lose the dice rolls didn't always do anything wrong.
I don't know why it bothers me so much. I defriended the person I mentioned, after an email response to me that only made me feel worse, and now I feel like crap for having done that. It's not worth it. I'm just feeling down.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
My leg is injured again, every bit as bad as the first time. I can't put any weight on it at all without serious pain.
The worst is I didn't even DO anything to it. I went for a freaking half hour walk last night during my son's baseball game, and started feeling the pain after that. But nothing at all while I was walking. Nothing during the previous day's run. Nothing while running in Sunday's race. Nothing while just doing my normal daily things, chasing the kid around the backyard, jogging up the steps, or whatever. Nothing! No warning signs, no way to back off and minimize the damage and one stupid walk and I'm flat on my butt again for who knows how long.
I really thought it was pretty much better. This is just killing me.
I couldn't sleep last night, and I'm sitting here this morning doing absolutely nothing, can't think, can't move, can't do ANYTHING. It seems like every time I'm feeling great about my body, I get sabotaged again, and I'm so scared about winding up back at square one with my fitness. I have worked so hard for it, and it doesn't even matter. Right now I can't even swim -- couldn't get myself the hundred yards from the parking lot to the pool. Can't walk, can't run, can't ride my bike, can't even do the squats I hate so much, and I have no idea when that will change. Ice and aspirin aren't doing anything.
I'm feeling terrible and completely at a loss here. I have a doctor appointment at 2, but don't expect any answers.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
31:55. I can't stop smiling. I seriously wasn't even daring to hope that I'd break 35 minutes -- to break 32? That's crazy-sauce, people! And it feels SO good.
It is a gorgeous April day today. A little chilly, and a whole lot windy, but beautiful sunshine, not a cloud in the sky. We haven't seen a lot of that lately, so it was welcome.
I arrived at the race course (at a local state park) rather late, after a hectic morning. My husband is away, so I had to get up at 6 in order to get my son to my friend's house by 7:30. (I made it in and out by 7:35. This is good for me.) I hadn't pre-registered due to uncertainty over my leg and the baby-sitting thing, but the park is less than 10 miles from there, and check-in was supposed to be open until 8:15, so I figured I was good. Not so. First, this is a classic case of "you can't get there from here" -- all back roads, lots of stop lights, and so on. Second, the race (which shared a start time and most of its course with a half-marathon) was a LOT bigger than I thought it was, at least 1000 people. By the time I got there, the state park was collecting parking fees for the day, and there was a string of cars lined up at the entrance that must have been at least 15 minutes long. I didn't have 15 minutes! I wound up driving around to another lot and jogging the half mile or so to the start.
Then when I got there (around 8:10), they told me registration was already closed! I don't think I could have convinced them to just take my money and give me a number if another late-comer who arrived just behind me hadn't quoted the 8:15 time on the website and held up his cell phone with a big honkin' "8:12" flashing on the front of it. I don't know if I'll make it into the computer list as it is; it doesn't much matter. But I got in!
The course was WAY congested. As I mentioned, it turns out that it was a pretty big race, and for almost all of the 5K and the first 2.75 miles of the half marathon, it's on a ten foot wide path around a lake. I'd put myself way near the back for the start, and so things moved slowly at first (probably took me 10-15 seconds just to cross the start line). This suited me to a T, as I was worried about going out too fast and running out of gas later -- especially since I knew that the course, although dead flat, was going to run into a strong headwind on the more-exposed second half of the race.
I hit the first mile mark at 10:50 (time since start line maybe 10:35-10:40), a bit faster than I thought I would go -- or WAS going, for that matter. It didn't feel fast, though I assumed I wouldn't be able to keep it up the whole way. I'd timed myself for a few shorter runs on roads and trails near my house, and I really thought that 35 minutes might be too ambitious of a goal for the 5K. 10:50 (much less 10:35) is a lot faster pace than that. But I felt fine, so I just kept going.
The second mile time was 20:57 (10:07 since mile 1) -- um, OK? I don't think I've run a 10 minute mile in ten years, but I'm not arguing! I really thought I'd need to do a few serious slow-downs in the last mile, but it didn't turn out that way. I did back off a bit two or three times, but it was more in the nature of "take it easy here" than "I'm gonna die if I don't slow down". My legs just kept wanting to move faster, I guess.
The headwind was pretty brutal in spots, and between that and the slowdowns I assumed the last mile would be a lot slower again, but once I approached the finish line and saw the time was under 32 still I was just amazed. It turns out the last 1.1 miles I ran at a 9:54 pace!
My kind of aspirational goal all along has been to run a 5K under 30 minutes -- to me, and FOR me, personally, that's sort of my definition of "reasonably fit", and it's something I have not been in probably 20 years. About ten years ago, after a period of running 1 or 2 miles at a time for a few months, I managed a 5K in 30:54 (it about killed me), and so beating that is my immediate goal, but for the first time I can really believe I'll beat the big one too some time. That makes me feel good.
About a half mile into today's race, I took a look around me. The runners were all strung out on the path ahead of me and behind me. I was surrounded by people. The sky was blue and the lake was blue and the gone-wild forsythia was bright yellow, and the trees were just beginning to shade green. I felt like I belonged, like I was revisiting my self again after a long time away. I'm very happy.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Ugh. Never take good health for granted.
The last few days have been lousy for me. First, I injured my lower left leg. I'm not sure what's wrong with it, but it's conceivable it's a stress fracture. If it is, that means no walking or running for perhaps upwards of two months. Guess what I've been doing for exercise? *cries* I see the doctor on Monday; hopefully I'm just being hypochondriac.
Walking around awkwardly not trying to put weight on it has also drawn notice to the on-and-off soreness behind my knee on the other leg, so I guess I'll get that checked out, too.
Then there's the IBS attack I'm just seeing the light at the end of the tunnel on today after 2-3 days of yuck -- I'll spare you all the details on that one.
I've been eating fine (when I can eat at all), but haven't exercised in days. The tentative plan is that if it does turn out to be something that means I can't exercise as I have been for an extended period of time, I'll pony up the cash and join the local gym that has a pool. I'd rather be outside by a long shot, but I do like to swim. If it's a shorter time, I'm hitting up a friend of mine and her stash of workout videos (lots of arm and core stuff, probably a few more things I can do without impact on my legs) starting Tuesday. That kind of exercise doesn't come naturally to me, so if I'm stuck relying on it as the only thing I can do for a while, I need a friend. :)
But oh man, this is all so yuck. I don't see myself doing the 5K I'd planned on April 21 (and still have on my ticker) regardless of the diagnosis, and that makes me very sad.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
"Just be careful you don't go the other way and become anorexic."
Sigh. I love you too, Mom.
I like to think she means well...
Get An Email Alert Each Time RENATARUNS Posts