ROUNDTOWNMOM
Online Now
  46,439
SparkPoints
40,000-49,999 SparkPoints
 
 
ROUNDTOWNMOM's Recent Blog Entries

Who Am I Kidding.......?

Sunday, October 06, 2013

I haven't blogged in .......... geez.........quite awhile. I I used to try to get my thoughts down fairly often here, but I let that slide as I have so many things of late.

My adventure in overeating began when I was in high school - lotsa years ago, unfortunately.........! I thought I was "fat" when the scale tipped at 133 lbs, so I dieted, got a lot of compliments as I hit about 120 lbs.........and that was the start for me. I have dieted, and I've tried everything from fasting to Atkins to Optifast to Slimfast to managing myself to Weight Watchers. Over the years, I would stare aghast at the scale as I tried each new plan, each new way to try to get to where I thought I needed to be. My goal weights fluctuated as much as my "higher" weights.............. and each time I was determined to make *this* diet the *last* diet. Sound familiar???

I can't blame my highest weight on having kids.......... although after the births of each child, my "normal" weight never seemed to return. My highest pregnancy weight went to 202 lbs and I got down to the low 160's after that ............ only to not be satisfied there. I wanted to be back to the 130's and........well, you know how that merry-go-round works, don't you?

My highest weight was 238 lbs ...long about the time my DS (my last pregnancy) was 9 years old....... I was in a miserable marriage and was eating to make all the unhappiness "go away". It was then I joined Weight Watchers and ended up losing somewhere around 90 lbs. I was on my way to become a WW Leader............

..........but what hadn't changed was my mental self. AND.........it's what I still struggle most with.

Over those years (DS is now 26!) I have gained and re-lost hundreds of pounds, but have stayed in the range of about 163-183. I have realized some things..................... my goal weight has to be where I'm most comfortable, I'm much older now and the weight isn't going to just "drop off", and I need to *move* to help the process along. What I still struggle with is ........ well, struggling with weight at my age! I've been at this a very, very long time............ 43 years to be exact. I'm a nurse for crying out loud..........you'd think I'd have this down!!

I'm tired................tired of struggling...........tired of feeling like I have to "watch"......... tired of playing Russian roulette with the scale................tired of not being able to just eat what I want and not worry about that stupid number on that stupid scale. I can honestly say I love the essence of the person I am..........................but I can be awful hard on that Lady In The Mirror (just ask her - she'll tell you!). I do NOT love the physical image yet that I see in that mirror....................................
...

..........I do not like that my clothes are once again too tight.

.........I do not like that I feel "too big".

........I do not like that I'm still an emotional eater and I get the "I don't cares" long about 9:00PM.........and give in more than I don't.

Somewhere I have to find the balance...................that fine line between being healthy, and being consumed by "needing" to lose weight.

I just read a blog entry by one of my SparkFriends who has lost a tremendous amount of weight but who is now struggling himself. If you get a chance go to this link and read.........he puts it so well..............

www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=5504739


In the meantime, I'm going to re-group, and perhaps get Mom2 to join me at Weight Watchers...........the support here on Spark is fantastic.........coupled with the success of a structure program, I'm thinking I just may get it "right" this time..........

Time will tell.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FABAT402009 10/14/2013 6:37AM

    Thought provoking blog Linda, hope one day you get to that place of happiness with the woman in the mirror.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BKWERM 10/10/2013 6:13AM

    I do know that you have been struggling for a long time. Personally, I think you look great (at least in the photos you've posted) but it doesn't really matter what I think, does it? I hope the structure of WW helps you again. But I really think you need to do some soul searching because I truly think that you don't like the way you look because of something deeper inside of you. You are a wonderful person and a great and caring friend. We have your back. You can do this.

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NANABNANA10 10/9/2013 9:08AM

    ahhh the "I don't cares"....they live at my house too. And honestly Linda, I don't feel that these struggles have anything to do with our intelligence....if it did we would all be perfect! emoticon emoticon
One day at a time....we will overcome! xo

Report Inappropriate Comment
RUNNINGOMA 10/9/2013 7:21AM

    So much I could relate to - especially that 9pm issue of not caring. That is prompting me to set my smart phone with a timer around that time with a motivational quote to hopefully stop myself in my tracks. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PKCTTS 10/8/2013 11:06PM

    Reading this blog 3 minutes after realizing that the Hagen Daz I caved and ate has 580 freaking calories . . . really! . . . 1 cup of ice cream! . . . 580 calories!

Loved the blog, hope you can make peace with yourself. emoticon



Report Inappropriate Comment
BARBSDUCK 10/8/2013 8:25PM

    emoticon You are not alone in this struggle, gal! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JMOUSE99 10/8/2013 10:45AM

    Thanks Linda. A lot of it is a familiar story for me as well.

Report Inappropriate Comment
RONI122 10/7/2013 11:20PM

    Linda: I get it too. I feel all these same things. Dang! Why does it have to be so hard!
At the same time I too decided I was heading back to WW. I need to be surrounded with as much support as I can get. This put this in the bag and get the party started!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SPACEYSTACY 10/7/2013 9:08PM

    Thank you for sharing your story. I can relate! I, too, struggle with the mental and emotional side of eating. Its a daily battle for me. I hope you find a plan that finally works for you!

Report Inappropriate Comment
VERA_LU 10/7/2013 6:51PM

    I can really relate with your story - I too have been gaining and losing weight all of my life, and have jumped on all different kinds of diets. I think what you said about your mental self was vital - that is something that I work on all of the time. I think you will get it "right" this time. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GLASSART43 10/7/2013 10:46AM

    Oh yes, Linda, emotional eating is a constant struggle for me too, even though I KNOW better!

emoticon
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TAICHIDANCER 10/6/2013 6:52PM

    I am convinced that for myself (and I'm only speaking for myself here) permanent weight loss will only be achieved when I understand all the reasons WHY I overeat Until I do all victories will be temporary. I have been working hard to do that psychological work and I think it is beginning to pay off. I wish the same for you and all our fellow "Sparklers." Best to you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
IMAGINE_IT 10/6/2013 3:55PM

    emoticon Linda......and just like you.....I don't like that my clothes 'once again' are feeling too tight.....wished I had the 'right answer' why it is so difficult to say 'No' to certain food.....or how to keep the weight off in the first place. Willpower is one of the things 'they say' you have to have......but I have been reading and researching so much over the past year or so...and there could be so many other reasons why 'one can't seem to lose the extra weight' that it makes me want to 'just give up' at times.....but just like you....I keep trying....and hoping for that one day where I can breathe in my clothes again! emoticon
emoticon for sharing your story! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LADYJ6942 10/6/2013 12:24PM

    Well put, it is a challenge that seems never ending. My trainer keeps pushing "green faces" which means it came from the ground and it once had a face. Eating food processed as little as possible. Some days are great and other days are horrible.

Being an emotional eater and hitting the "I don't cares" suck!!!

Hugs, you can do this and you are worth it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
STUDLEEJOE 10/6/2013 10:26AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Frustrated

Tuesday, February 05, 2013

I'm generally a pretty easy-going person............well, except for being tolerant of the Lady In the Mirror. She'd likely tell you that I'm easy-going with everyone but her. She, however, is not the topic of conversation today..........!

I had a blog all neatly prepared and *thought* I posted it last night during the Biggest Loser. Somewhere between Jillian and Dani having fun with their LCW and Dolvette and the Red Gang working out with Laila Ali...........well, my post went "poof". I came back here this morning to re-read what I'd written (which I do frequently when I write a blog post) and it was gone.

So, not only did all those wonderful words of wisdom disappear, I lost points for my Spark team for the weekend challenge.................

...................and as I started to think about my adventure in the weight-loss realm, I realized that "frustrated" sums up nicely where I'm at right now with a *LOT* of things in my life.

I realize that I'm the only one who can control my emotions and how I react..................and all the progress I thought I'd made in that realm has obviously NOT been made. I'm a terribly emotional eater and that's been an established thing with me since my high school days. However, I never considered "frustration" an emotion. I've considered it more a stated of being...............................until now.

My list of things that have me in this emotional state is longer than I'd like it to be and I've realized that I've truly let a whole lot of "things" take over my ability to reason. I've allowed frustration to creep in and lay roots that are starting to run pretty deep...........and frustration is leading to excuses.

Oh, how I hate excuses. AND while I hate them, I can tell you that I am the champion excuse maker. I think I must have won an Excuse-Making Bee in elementary school or something..............I must have a blue ribbon for it somewhere.............................beca
use that was a lesson *well* learned in my early years.

Perhaps it was a good thing my other blog disappeared...............................

....................this one is making me take stock and reflect more than the other one did.

5 1/2 hours too late for points......................

........................................
..but hopefully on time in the grand scheme of my life and what I want it to be.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOTELMOM 7/12/2013 5:06PM

    I can so relate to this subject, I use food for every emotion also, and its hard to break that habit, some days I do better than others, but when I am stressed its the hardest to divert my attention elsewhere. But all we can do is keep trying.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BARBSDUCK 2/9/2013 7:38AM

    I just saw this blog ... and wanted to share my thoughts, since I so definitely share this problem.

You know, I don't think I am more "emotional" than other people, but I do think I use my emotions as an excuse to eat, and have since I was a little child. And, in retrospect, I think there is a childlike immediate gratification in grabbing my comfort or binge foods when I am upset, tired, angry, scared, etc. It is instant pleasure, a familiar friend, a lifelong pattern.

But, it can also be self-destructive when it gets out of control, and a few calories become several hundred or thousand, which is usually what happens. Sure, it would be okay if, when feeling blue, I had a cuppa tea and two pirouettes. That's a very nice little 150 cal snack. And, when I am in a healthy state of mind, I WILL limit it to two pirouettes. But, when I reach for food in an emotional state, it can be like a flash flood, and nothing is left in the wake of the devastation. In reality, THAT is the time when I really need OTHER coping skills, because food is the danger zone.

And, I am still working on this ... and reading about it ...

I need to develop OTHER ingrained activities that I can do when I am emotional, that don't involve food. I'm not a journal writer, but maybe I should develop that. I'm not one to meditate, but maybe I should develop that. Taking a walk? Distracting myself by playing with the dogs?

I had a friend in Overeaters Anonymous, and one day he told me that, when he wanted to binge, he would "play out the tape to the end." As if he was a movie, he would see how that binge would end. And, for him, like for me, it ended like that flash flood.

I am not saying that I can never snack, because I do snack, quite healthily. Rather, it's is that, when I start reaching for foods because I am in an emotional state that I get into trouble. While part of me is reaching for food BECAUSE I'M UPSET, the other part of me is using my upsetness as an EXCUSE TO OVEREAT. And, when I play out that tape to the end, it ends with remorse at having eaten hundreds or thousands of calories over my range, with a food hangover, and with an upset stomach.

I (we?) can do better ... the ladies in our mirrors are so smart and ingenious. We have dealt with hard things in life, some of which we have in common, and have not only survived, but flourished. We are so ready to give this negative pattern up.

So, let's DO IT!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KRZYKAT3 2/5/2013 10:02PM

    PArt of my journey has been learning to redirect my emotions intead of mastering them. At my age, I find it easier (lazy me!)

This was a wonderful blog, participation to your extent possible not perfection. Great job! WTG! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
FUSIONFITNESS3 2/5/2013 2:42PM

    Linda, I believe that this blog may not only have had you taking stock of the situation but that it is going to help others of us take stock as well. Sharing your real feelings and frustrations, in other words, being real with us is a great example to each of us to be real with ourselves.
Have you found the blue ribbon back yet? Just wondering because maybe now is the time to let go of it....
Oh, forgive yourself for not blacking out the bingo card this weekend. It sounds like the team has, I know you've worked on the card, put your best foot forward, faced circumstances beyond your control, and appreciate that you participated.


Report Inappropriate Comment
LADYJ6942 2/5/2013 12:38PM

    You know the team understands and supports you. You've endured a lot of changes late and while some of them are self directed frustration sets in none the less.

You can over come your excuses

You can take charge of your frustration(s) and eliminate them or develope a course of action to derail them and re-rail yourself

Love you, Love the lady in the mirror, Love your body - none of them have failed you, they've rallied and supported you as have many on your team and in your life.

You'll tackle these hurdles with gusto and feel so much better.

Hugs

Report Inappropriate Comment
IMAGINE_IT 2/5/2013 9:07AM

    I feel your frustration.....since i was there last weekend...when i forgot to post my Blackout points. Try to cheer up about it....even though it will 'nag at you' for a while longer! We ain't mad at cha' emoticon Smile Linda emoticon
I am not sure why we keep getting 'frustrated' instead of taking charge and working on the same thing..or issue that leaves us frustrated......i have been frustrated because i can't seem to lose an ounce lately....no matter what i try.....but when i am being honest with myself i know deep down in side i am not losing because i am not giving it my 'all'..... i still eat too many sweets......plus i tend to conveniently forget to track sometimes... plain and simple....It is time to step it up!!



Report Inappropriate Comment
FABAT402009 2/5/2013 8:46AM

    Linda I don't have a blackout for the weekend challenge but I showed up and did get some points. You're such a great team member with a lot going on.. Please don't beat yourself up so much!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GLASSART43 2/5/2013 8:22AM

    Linda, I always enjoy your honesty and you draw such wonderful pictures with your writing. I love the blue ribbon in Elementary Excuse Making! emoticon

So I didn't blackout either - why?? Because I snacked Sat night, and it was truly mindless. emoticon

Back on track Sunday, and back to trying not to beat myself up when I disappoint ME! What Jan just said! emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
A-STRONGER-ME 2/5/2013 7:59AM

    Frustration - when all else fails - eat! YEP!! That's frustration.

I think you have lots of company. And I hate it when someone says to me (and SHE does) "only you can control your emotions" - geeze Louise - I KNOW that, but have never been able to completely master that - as many cannot.

But I have found that the kinder you are to yourself - NO - not making excuses - just less negative self talk about the "stuff" the better one can cope.

Let's try our best to discard the negative stuff and focus more on what we have accomplished, the journey we have made, the friends in our lives and FOCUS FORWARD - not what we didn't do yesterday.


Report Inappropriate Comment


She Did It Again

Sunday, January 27, 2013

"They're right, you know", the Lady In the Mirror said to me.

"What in the world do you mean?", I asked.

"Jan, Barb, Karen, and Dena are right. You've been pretty snarky with me lately.....more so than usual, anyway", she replied.

She did it again. The Lady In The Mirror caught me up short. I had to stop and think about that for awhile, so I apologized to the Lady In The Mirror, and went to ponder, yet again, why it is that I am so much better to others than I am to her. I truly hate "self-examination" because it makes me take time for myself and makes me face some things that I generally don't want to face. The older I get, the more I think I ought to have this all figured out...........and the more I find out that I don't.

We were a household of three when I grew up.........my Mom, my older sister (by almost 5 years), and me. My Dad was killed in a car accident when I was 2, and Mom never remarried. I was the "chunky" one.........never really overweight, but certainly heavier than my sister. She inherited my Dad's genes...........and I inherited his mother's...........!!! I remember thinking in high school that I was "overweight" when I hit 133 lbs at 5'7" tall, and went on a strict, very low calorie diet. I lost 13 lbs. and was very proud of the compliments I got. Went to nursing school shortly after............................and the rollercoaster ride began.

Over the years, the Lady In The Mirror tried to tell me a lot of things about who I was, where I was going, and what I needed to be do to be honest with myself. I didn't listen well. I hid. I ran. I used food for solace. The best of those years allowed me the great fortune to have two children that I adore (well, most of the time........!) and a son-in-law and grandchild that complete the picture for now. The worst of those years ballooned my weight up to 240 lbs. and a me that I didn't even recognize.

11 years ago, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery, the first leg of which was to lose weight. I did so through Weight Watchers "new" point system..........and got to my goal weight rather quickly. The next legs of the journey found me making a lot of self-realizations and finally admitting some truths that were very difficult truths to admit. I can honestly say that, having the Lady In The Mirror chuckling at me for having been right all those years was NOT the easiest thing in the world...............but it made me realize just how wise she could be if I let her be.

Over the last 11 years, my weight has fluctuated terribly. I've never gone beyond 189 lbs again......................and slowly, with the help of SparkPeople and the Biggest Loser Challenge team that I've been with now for somewhere around 2-21/2 years, I've learned a lot of lessons about myself and my love/hate relationship with food that I didn't learn with Weight Watchers. This past holiday season, for the first time in forever, I didn't go over the 180 lb mark with my "holiday weight gain". I've learned to set my goals to more realistic ones, and I've learned that this is not a journey for me....................it's an adventure.

I'm stuck in the 170's right now, and am not happy about that. I'm not very active right now either, and I allow others closest to me to influence my eating and exercise "habits". I'm not happy about that either..............and when I'm not happy, rather than take action, I take it out on the Lady In The Mirror.

I've set a more realistic goal weight (not something I did with Weight Watchers) - aiming for something that I feel I can maintain and that my body will be happy with. I've tried to set more realistic goals to stay active...................*upping* my expectations rather than thinking I can't do some things I know I can do.

What will my life be like when I finally hit and maintain that magic "goal weight"? It will be much like it is now............I'll go to work, I'll spend time with my family, I'll take time for me. I'll ride my bike when it's nice, go camping, and try new things (like zip lining last fall!). I'll keep a level head about being "at" goal and remind myself that the adventure will continue as I struggle with the ups and downs of every day life.

I'll also give more credit to the Lady In The Mirror.............and will be doing so more along the way. She gets short-changed much more than she should.



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BEACHLVRMI 2/4/2013 11:39PM

    You and the Lady in the mirror always getting me thinking. Thank you for sharing!

Report Inappropriate Comment
IMAGINE_IT 1/28/2013 4:00PM

    Very true...often we are nicer and give more attention to others than to ourselves. What a great and honest Blog..... a lot of it 'hit home' with me. emoticon Linda....

Report Inappropriate Comment
FUSIONFITNESS3 1/28/2013 1:17AM

    Linda, an emoticon, well-expressed blog!!!
It was just a short few weeks ago when I started my journey with the Warriors that I came across the phrase "Be kind to the person in the mirror" on our chat thread. It hit me right between the eyes and stopped me dead in my tracks. I go out of my way to be kind, helpful and polite to others but how do I treat myself? This blog makes perfect sense to me.
emoticon for sharing.
Maria

Report Inappropriate Comment
THEMRSH 1/27/2013 8:52PM

    The lady in the mirror is pretty awesome. Make time for her!

Report Inappropriate Comment
RONI122 1/27/2013 6:29PM

    I love this blog! Thanks for making me think!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHRISPYLEE 1/27/2013 4:54PM

    "I allow others closest to me to influence my eating and exercise "habits". I'm not happy about that either..............and when I'm not happy, rather than take action, I take it out on the Lady In The Mirror."

Linda...thank you so much for writing this......when i read it.....lightbulbs went off for me......THAT is exactly what i do and didnt even realize it!
I am going to start taking action and being nicer to myself!
emoticon emoticon



Report Inappropriate Comment
BKWERM 1/27/2013 2:03PM

    You are absolutely right. You have to make time for the Lady in the Mirror and you have to treat her right because you are the most important person in your life and if you don't look out for yourself, who will?

I know it's been tough lately but you're a tough lady and I know emoticon and if you're floundering, you have all your wonderful teammates to help you soldier on.

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GLASSART43 1/27/2013 1:27PM

    emoticon Linda,

Your words resonate with me too. I know that taking care of myself is way too easy to put on the back burner, but then being frustrated with the results is not logical!

We are all worth our best efforts - and I'm glad you keep reminding us to not beat ourselves up, or quit, when we slip up.

Warrior on! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW 1/27/2013 12:21PM

    You, dear lady, are the reason the phrase, "be kind to the lady in the mirror" , rings in my head. I am working on it, it is not an easy thing to do after beating myself up for 50 years. But I am working on it, thanks to you. There are some very familiar elements to your story. I tend to let the wants and needs of the people I love dictate what I do. My Sparkname is supposed to be a reminder to me to take of myself but old habits die hard. You have made great progress in this journey. Be proud of that. Be kind to the lady in the mirror, Linda, she is something special. emoticon


Report Inappropriate Comment
NANABNANA10 1/27/2013 11:58AM

    My dear friend....you have done it again. I can so relate to all that you have written. We are often so unkind to that lady in the mirror....when things go wrong, as they often do, she is the one we seem to beat on. I am so glad to hear that you are going to work on treating that lady in the mirror, my dear friend, with as much kindness as you show to others.
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LADYJ6942 1/27/2013 11:43AM

    I hear you Linda and can so relate. You can do this, you are worth it, for yourself, the Princess, and more. Live has thrown you a bunch of curve balls lately and I'm happy to hear and see you are still listening to the lady in the mirror because she is right.

Hugs my friend. I sure miss my Warrior friends and am always hear. Its an exciting journey, or adventure as you've dubbed it.

Hugs!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment


Change

Saturday, December 01, 2012

Change. This is, perhaps, the most feared 6 letter word in the dictionary. Change is not something we, as humans, do easily. Habits get ingrained, comfort zones get reached, and "change" makes us take paths that are new, different, and sometimes scary. My life is full of "change" right now, and it's making me take stock, today.........a rather auspicious day in that it's a Saturday, and it's the first day of a new month.

I've left the place I've been employed, for all but 3 months of the last 8 years, for good. I've held various positions within that organization over those years, and truly care about many of the people that are left there. Finances being what they are, however, and promises made back in March by one set of administrators, that were broken in August by another set, led me to have to seek employment elsewhere. The job I ended up being fortunate enough to be offered not only allows me to work in the field that I love, but I'll be working with veterans - people for whom I have the utmost respect - AND at a substantially higher pay rate! Digging out of the financial hole I ended up in because of those broken promises mentioned earlier is now a distinct possibility! Change #1.

With those financial issues, along came issues with DS.............very unexpected ones. He will always be the child that learns things the hard way, and I've been "tapering off", since September, the support I've given him financially over the years. He's been forewarned appropriately that, as of today, the tapering is done, and the financial support as he's come to know it, ends. There will always be the occasional "Mom can you" from both of my kids.......... but it's make it or break it time with DS. Tough love is tougher on us than it is on them, no matter what age they are. Change #2.

With a new job also comes a new schedule and a new way of having to do things. I will no longer be working from home...........something that I've done for 8 years. I've become the chief cook-laundry person-homemaker-gardener-keeper of the everything in that 8 years and some of that is going to have to change. I am no longer the Superwoman that the 80's declared we ought to be......................and I'm proud of it! I will not fall into the trap of being the "do-er" and not having any time for myself. Learning to let go..............change #3.

How does that tie into what I've *not* done weight-wise this past BLC round, you ask? I've had to look at a whole lot of things to answer that question..................and the common denominator I've discovered is that I still react to stress, and I still allow that stress/emotional eating to rule my brain. With all the things that are changing.......... I've decided I need to take a different journey in this adventure of weight "loss". I cannot go that journey alone, so I will continue to take it with my Amber Amazon Warriors.............without them, I'd have zoomed way beyond what I weigh now. I've managed somehow not to eat my way beyond the 10 lb. range I seem to keep myself in these days. No - this new journey is one that will have to take me to a different mindset on "weight loss" vs. "weight management". I'm formulating that plan today - on paper - as I take the desperately needed "me" time I have available to me. Change #4.

One. Day. At. A. Time.

Change.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1EMMA2011 12/12/2012 6:51PM

    Yes Yes Yes!

At some point the children need to figure this life out for themselves. Good for you for leaving your job. They should have respected you more!

Hang in there and good for you for making these changes!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ELIZ181 12/2/2012 7:50AM

    Those are some great changes you are looking at and I know you will do great.

Yes for most change is a scary thing but if you think of it as an adventure it makes it so much better. I long ago learned to embrace change as a good thing as long as it isn't a change just for a change but actually has a purpose. You not only will learn about new thing, or a new way to do something you will learn about yourself as well

Report Inappropriate Comment
CM_GARDNER78 12/2/2012 1:26AM

    Ch-ch-ch-changes! ;-) You are making some wonderfully positive strides - you should feel proud of yourself!! Everything sounds great - I LOVE your background: I'm gonna make the rest of my life, the best of my life. I think you are well on your way!!
(((HUGS)))
~ Christa

Report Inappropriate Comment
IMAGINE_IT 12/1/2012 11:12AM

    With all the Changes that you have had and are still facing...it is no wonder that 'weight loss' or 'weight management' gets a little lost in all that shuffle....and unfortunately women...at least a majority of women...still put themselves 'last'....i am one of those women!
But we have to start realizing that it is so very important to take care of ourselves first..before we try and take care of any and everyone else. But of course that is easier said then done...because you are so right...our age group was taught that we are and can be 'Superwomen'!
....you are on the right track...staying with the team is a good start....and i am positive that once you have found a routine in your new job you will master the Weight management and /or weight loss just fine. emoticon emoticon
One day at a time emoticon emoticon

P.S. Totally agree 'Tough Love' (whoever started that?).....is tougher on us then it may be on our kids...i can relate! Hang in there though....there is a light at the end of that tunnel. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BKWERM 12/1/2012 8:43AM

    Great blog! I'm here for you if you need additional support, even if you just want to vent.

Have a great day!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Where to start?

Monday, October 22, 2012

I'm pondering a lot as I try to figure out what is really holding me back from reaching the goal I've set for myself in my weight-loss/weight-maintenance journey.

Where to start?

Where to start over?

Or...................

Where to just move on and take one day at a time?

The plan I've developed for myself over the years is a solid, healthy-eating plan with appropriate cardio exercise and, now thanks to the prompting of my Spark Team captain, Jan, some appropriate ST. I have set realistic goals for myself and I know where I think I want to be weight-wise, although that is the ONE part of this that I may yet have to reevaluate as far as it being a "realistic" weight for me (forget those weight charts!!! Egads! I consider those weights very unrealistic and impossible to maintain in a *healthy* manner!!) So, what is it that is keeping me where I'm at after several rounds of the BLC Team participation?

Intellectually, I *know* what I need to do. I know all my pitfalls and I know I'm an emotional eater. I know I'm easily swayed. I know I develop an "I don't care" attitude at very stressful times in my life. I beat the lady in the mirror up on more occasions than I should, and I am VERY good at giving out positive reinforcement to everyone BUT that lady in the mirror! I look at the "failures" and I look at the "successes".................

..........and then I realize that this journey is more than a journey with a destination. It's an ongoing adventure....................! YES........an **adventure**!

THAT's been the flaw in my thinking............and why I've not been better to the lady in the mirror. This is NOT a singular journey of so many days that has a destination - an end. It's an *adventure* that is ongoing and is comprised of many journeys.......... that has several places I want to visit and a place I'd like to stay for a very long time.................that has detours that add to the adventure...........that has some wonderful sights to see, some places I don't want to revisit, and places I may never get to because of the detours.

How I navigate the adventure is up to me. How I enjoy the adventure, or grumble my way through it is also up to me. How I face this adventure each day will determine my own *outcome* each day. It's all up to me.

One. Day. At. A. Time.

I plan on *enjoying* this adventure as much as I can.........................

............and I plan on letting the lady in the mirror know that.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

POETLKNG2LOSE 10/27/2012 10:08AM

    That is great that you think of it more as an adventure than something you have to do. Keep talking to yourself and telling yourself you are going to do it one day at a time. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GLASSART43 10/22/2012 5:17PM

    This has been a rough round for many, Linda. I like the "One day at a time" mantra, and celebrating the small victories along the way.

emoticon



Report Inappropriate Comment
A-STRONGER-ME 10/22/2012 11:21AM

    You keep promising "that lady in the mirror" . . .

Maybe if you make the promise to OTHERS, since you are so much better to others than yourself, you will do this.

The promise ONLY needs to be that you will do the best you can every day and be as kind to yourself as you are to others. No one can ask for more.

You HAVE the knowledge. Work it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW 10/22/2012 10:50AM

    You have once again helped me to see something in a new light. I have had so many detours lately I was feeling a bit lost. LOL Maybe I don't need to change direction, just my perspective. It really is just a great big adventure isn't it? Thank you. Good luck with the next 6 weeks.
emoticon



Report Inappropriate Comment
BKWERM 10/22/2012 10:39AM

    Sounds like you've finally figured it out. I know you can do it. You have the will.

Take care.



Report Inappropriate Comment
LADYJ6942 10/22/2012 9:09AM

    Great blog Linda. You can do it, I know you can. We've all had many detours of late but getting back on track, getting back to self is sometimes the biggest change needed to accomplish our goals. Good luck!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MILPAM3 10/22/2012 8:51AM

  Kudos for your alteration in viewpoint from journey to adventure!

Report Inappropriate Comment


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 Last Page