Friday, March 14, 2014
Oh what a week it has been. I did so well last week and then the bottom pretty much fell right out from under me just when I had convinced myself that I was over it. It has been a week of eating bad and not exercising and not even really caring. I was having my own pretty nasty pity party. Till last night anyway. When I pretty much decided that I canít let what happened rule my life. Sadly it was touch and go for awhile there.
So now I am paying for it somewhat. I am really not feeling good at all today. Upset stomach and just feeling like crap. So, I am still not going to exercise today just going to get my eating back in line and start back tomorrow I hope.
Last night it was like a fog lifted. I started feeling somewhat normal again and woke up more clear in the head than I have been in almost 2 weeks. Not sure what changed, but I guess I finally decided enough was enough of feeling sorry for myself. So, back at it and hopefully feeling better this weekend.
Friday, March 07, 2014
Finally Friday. It isnít so much a TGIF day as it is, just glad for the week to be over. It has been a roller coaster of a week that will end on a high note. I am getting in an 80 minute or so walk tonight after work. I took the bus in and walking home. Something I plan to do more often this summer, in addition to bussing and biking home. Then I will get cleaned up, wait for my son to get home with my car, then we will be off to Dave and Busterís with a friend so our kids can play and we can gripe about the relationships we both just ended badly. Lol
Then tomorrow is the gun show with my son. Maybe my youngest. She wants to learn how to shoot a bow and arrow. Thank you Hunger Games. Actually in talking with some people there is evidently a lot of scholarship money out there for girls who can shoot. So, I am starting to look into it for her. Not that the scholarships were the sole reason, I just know not a whole lot about shooting a bow and arrow and so canít teach much. I know in a lot of those sports technique is everything, and donít want to teach bad habits that she would then have to unlearn.
Then I think Sunday is sort of a relaxing day. Going to get some fish and bring them in to work for my aquarium here.
I was on the facebook page of an online and local bike shop. They had a picture of some cyclists and it said, ďwhen in doubt, pedal it outĒ I loved that so much. Nothing beats the feeling of being out on my bike and just letting the mind go. It is about the only time I can truly say my mind is at rest, or can just tune out the world. Other than the cars anyway.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Thursday, March 06, 2014
Well last night was a close call. Got off work and went to grab a bite to eat before the gym and read. Read my book and enjoyed a black bean burrito, then lost all interest in the gym. I just wanted to go home and curl up in bed, or go out and have a few drinks. But I went home.
And finally convinced myself that the gym was the better option. And so, I went to the gym and crushed 60 minutes on the bike. One part of the recumbent bike I love is the ability to pick a heart rate and let the bike adjust the tension to keep your heart rate there. This also allows you to see how you progress with the graphics with the light bars. I remember when I first started and even not long ago, to keep it at my target heart rate it would bounce up to 3 bars across the screen but wouldnít stay there long before it dropped to 2 bars. Last night it made it up to 5 bars before I finally reached the target and the finally level off at 3 bars. Just curious, I switched over to manual mode at 45 minutes and figured out I had been consistently pedaling on level 14. Actually then I bumped it to 15 for the last 15 minutes and the heart rate didnít go up much. So I figure that I was probably bouncing between 14 and 15 most of the ride. The darn bike only goes to level 25. I realize that is pretty far off, and I have pedaled at level 25 for short bursts, but dang, it felt good to see how I was doing.
So, it felt good to push through last night and complete it. I could have skipped since I have been working out for like 9 days straight at this point. But it wasnít a complete rest day. It should have been easier than it was in the end, but I needed the work, more mentally than physically. I needed to work off some of the frustration.
So it is shaping up to actually be a spring weekend for us. Going to hit 50 tomorrow they say, so I am going to really get some work in and walk home from work. It is nice since it is only 5.4 miles. Last fall I did it in 80 minutes. Letís see where I am now. I am so ready for spring and warmer temps. I think the world is ready for spring and warmer temps. My desire got even worse last night as I watch the Redís spring training game. I canít wait for opening day and the coming summer.
Lost another pound today. The weight is starting to come off easily again. Which is always nice. I think I am firmly back in the zone concerning the healthy eating and exercising. It is nice to be planted back there.
Finally planning to go to a gun show this weekend. I donít plan to buy anything but it will be interesting to see what is out there. A good knife for camping may be in order though since I broke one on each of my last 2 camping trips. Sort of odd since I hadnít broken on in quite awhile.
Well, have a great day everyone. Mine is full of sun and hopefully some thawing.
Wednesday, March 05, 2014
Girls have cooties and are yucky. Ok, got that out of my system. Not really, but it helps.
Now that I am a day or 2 removed things are getting better. I actually slept a full night last night with nothing running through my mind. Well it did for a little bit before I went to sleep. But I have made plans for pretty much every day this week until next Monday so I will be keeping myself occupied and on the go. Mainly the plans are to hit the gym, but that is a good use of the time. Friday I am meeting an old friend for dinner with our kids. Let them play games at Dave and Busterís and have a few beers and we will catch up.
So, on to better topics. I am almost a runner. I know what you will say, if you can run any distance you are a runner. I, myself have always put the qualification that to be a runner, you need to be able to run a mile without stopping. So, I have been working on becoming a runner in my mind. Last night I ran for 10 minutes on the treadmill. Not just once, but twice at a 5.4 mph pace. Which translates to an 11:06 minute mile. No speed records there I know. So, while I have not quite made the one mile mark at one go, I am pretty dang close. But I did 3.1 miles in 40 minutes. So that has me feeling pretty dang good about how I am doing. Not quite there, but almost. Mainly I am not there since I am trying to do this gradually and take my time about it. It will come. And not far off.
Thanks for all the support over the last few days. It is much appreciated and has me feeling much better about things.
Tuesday, March 04, 2014
Ah well, no more clarity today after having the long talk with the now latest ex-girlfriend last night. I have to say, it was creative. It is amazing how people rationalize their behavior. I want to break up, you are too great a guy and I donít want to hurt you later. So here, let me hurt you now instead. I was tempted to go outside and get some salt from the streets she could use on the wound, but I refrained.
I am not going to let this affect my diet or exercise. It did affect it last night. I freaking killed my legs on a hill workout on the recumbent at the gym. And tonight I will work the treadmill. Usually I like the time on the bike since I can let my mind drift. Now, my mind drifting is not a good thing. Thank goodness for friends who can build you back up. I am obviously not doing something right. Not in a bad, I suck and am a horrible person sort of way. But more in a I need to make better choices sort of way. The saddest part is, there was drama with this person, but it wasnít drama with her and i. It was outside drama. I felt happy and comfortable with her. Safe. I hadnít felt that with someone recently.
I know someone is out there for me. Or at least I hope so. I had a good cry, and another may be in my near future. But I am going to move on and be stronger for it. On a positive note, I had ordered flowers to be delivered on her last day before transferring to another job at work and they called on the order and I was able to cancel it. So, I didnít lose out there like I thought I might.
On a positive note, I am fitting in some shirts I had outgrown in the fall. The weight is coming back off and who knows, I might be working it extra hard for a few days to burn off the frustration. Always a silver lining right?
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