Tuesday, September 30, 2014
I feel like I can't quite grasp where I am at right now. I don't know if it's amazement that I struggled struggled struggled and then woke up and here I was under 300 for the first time in who knows how long or what. I can't seem to settle on my next goal to shoot for. I know I have 199 in the distance...but the immediate future is saying, ok what now? What can I lose next?
At the same time I am cheating myself. Feeling like I deserve chips or a soda after all my hard work and then I'll get back on track later or I'll work it off walking. Guess what? After you give in....you want to give in even MORE.
So I had a cookie, then I had 4 more to "get rid of them". Im selfish in a way. I want it all. My cake and my weight loss. I have to learn that they do NOT go hand in hand. I struggle with what I feel like I deserve.
Sometimes my motivation is high and then other times I know that it is just a matter of talking myself into what I have to do. Other times habit carries me through. Sometimes, I don't do very well. I KNOW I do better when I TRY.
TRY. It's such a small little word isn't it? I see people come in here and talk about how they are going to restart and really dig in and do this, then I check back with them and they haven't posted anything new in 23 days, 57 days, 113 days...and Im like, what?
My theory is this. If you are the kind of person that has to come look for a site and support like this one offers you, then you HAVE to visit it daily to get out of it what you need to succeed. You HAVE to put into it, to get anything out of it. You have to TRY.
I do WAY better at this when I am present. I do better when I am accountable. I do better when I see the struggles of others. I do better when I post silly boring blogs like this one...lol. I do better with you than without you.
Truth is I need you.