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Sunday, August 31, 2014

I don't know if it was my warning to them about being "beyond po'd" or if Dad had a chat with them while they were all down in green bay yesterday, but the boys came home and got on things.

The older one (the one who left the dirty skillet on the stove after I had asked him not to) didn't even say hello before he started on the dishes. The younger one cleared the living room enough to pull his sofa bed out to sleep on and get to the free standing closet/cabinet we have. They ran laundry last night and put it away even!

Today, Dad and I went and worked at market. It was a decent sales day, but I have a LOT of embroidery to catch back up on now. The boys (mainly the younger one, the older one had to work) did several loads of laundry, washed the rest of the dishes, and ran the vacuum and the carpet cleaner. Plus the living room is still fairly clean.

There is still a crapload of work to be done, rearranging the kitchen, getting my new pantry cupboards assembled, putting stuff where I want/need it, moving stuff out of my room and into my room to get it set up for the winter's work. I'm SO glad Hubs is home to do it. Otherwise, I would be trying to do it all by myself and that would be bad.

I'm still struggling with the neuropathy pain. From what I understand, being over tired and working as much as I am is making it worse. When things slow down in a couple of months, it SHOULD lessen. Of course, there's no guarantee, but I'm hoping and praying.

I'm going to try to get some rest this afternoon. Hubs said to just sit and stay out of the way until he needs directions for where I want things put. I don't know if I'll sit and watch a video and veg out or if I'll do a few dish rags or scrubbies while I watch korean drama on the internet.

Hubs and I are going to have turkey sausage for dinner tonight and steaks and baked potatoes tomorrow. I don't know or care what the boys are going to eat. They are going to have to fend for themselves for a while yet. At least until they keep their chores done for a few weeks, anyway.

Have a wonderful Sunday!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SATCHMO99 9/1/2014 3:07AM

    I hope it lasts! Get the boys to assemble your kitchen units?

You need to rest, because if you don't take care of you, how're you going to take care of your family?

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Too Tired-

Saturday, August 30, 2014

I have no energy to deal with any more. Not my weight, not my business, not fighting with the kids to get them to stop making the house look like pigs live in it, not to clean, not to work, nothing.

I don't even have the energy to eat junk, let alone make it or carry it in m y to room!

I was supposed to go down to appleton to pick up a boatload of materials/supplies/software today after the market. I'm feeling so bad and in so much pain that I asked Hubs to take the boys shopping in green bay and go get my stuff for me.

I WAS going to just relax. take my meds, soak in the tub, and maybe do a little work if I felt better later.

I AM cleaning the house, doing the laundry, cleaning the carpets, running the vacuum, putting groceries away (from 2 weeks ago, I'm tired of waiting for the boys to do it), pottying dogs, feeding and watering dogs, cleaning the fridge, changing bathroom lightbulb that's been flickering for over a week...

All the stuff that I've been asking and telling the boys to get done.

I also sent son a text warning him that "mom is so far beyond po'd that there probably isn't even a word for it". Not that it will make a rat's rear's bit of difference.

All I want to do right now is just manage. Get by. Not gain. Not fall. Not cry because I'm frustrated, angry, and in pain. Not be discouraged (these boys are either going to be amazing men as adults, or the biggest butts that have ever drawn breath. There is going to be NO middle ground. sigh). Not give up.

It's such a rough day that my mouse even ran away! (it's mia somewhere. I just have no clue where. And that is going to be SO helpful when Hubs gets back in a few hours with my new software, isn't it??)

I'm hoping tomorrow is less rain, fewer people giving me "helpful" suggestions-like lower my quality and make things the way they do? "it's cheaper" they say. Um, yeah. CHEAP is NOT what I'm after, quality is. If they want to market a cheap low quality product, they are more than welcome to do so. I'm not compromising my integrity or quality.

Of course, the things I killed myself getting done that people were supposed to come pick up? Are still in my containers, unsold. sigh. I'm really ready for things to start going well consistently. I'm tired of slight up and then off a cliff!

I know, pray. Leave it to God. I'm trying. I really am. I'm just tired of struggling so much.

Hubs' rig isn't helping matters. We are STILL waiting for state patrol to call back. It's been THREE WEEKS. And the local police? Yeah, that's been since February? March? They're real concerned with recovering my stolen truck, can you tell?

Okay, time to get off the computer, stop venting and get more cleaning done. Those boys are in a world of crap when they get home.

Hope you have a wonderful saturday. Mine will at least be productive.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SATCHMO99 8/31/2014 3:29AM

    I really wish you'd had your bath then gone for a nap, instead of being Hercules and doing THEIR chores.

I'd maybe have been tempted to pile all their stuff on their beds, but I guess it would have just ended up on the floor.

When my son was a truculent teen, and flat refused to pick up his clothes, I warned him I'd be back in an hour to check and if they weren't put away they were going out of the window. Guess what - I threw them out the window. He never ignored that warning again!!!

Hugs xxx

Oh, and I'm sorry to say that I haven't yet found those $$$ for you, but I'm still looking for them.

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KAREN608 8/30/2014 7:29PM

    I wish you would just ROAR at the boys when they get in the door, like a wild lion or bear, angry and showing it.

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BRENDA_G50 8/30/2014 3:14PM

    I'm so sorry you aren't feeling the "Get up and Go" mood. Like you, I think mine done left without me!!! emoticon

Seriously though, I hope things turn around and get better for you. My dad use to tell me "Don't depend on anyone but yourself to get what you need or want in life!" all the time!!! I always thought he was a very smart man, but, then I learned he had to go through it to gain all that wisdom he was sharing with me. emoticon

I sure wouldn't want to be the son you're po'd at!!! Boy is he going to get an earful and then some!!!

Sounds like what you really need right now is a hug... emoticon , and reassured that things do get better...hopefully SOON!!! emoticon

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Let it rain!!

Friday, August 29, 2014

At least for now. I can work in the house while it pours, so raining all day today is fine, tonight is fine, please clear up tomorrow at least from 6 until 1230ish?? We'll see what happens.

No matter what, it will be fine. God knows what he's doing and it will be totally ok. I have to keep reminding myself of that sometimes...

The house (apartment we are rearranging furniture and got some more used good furniture) is SLOWLY coming together, Hubs is having to do most of the work. The teens have decided that since they cleaned their room, they don't have to help with anything else. Yeah. That's not going over well with mom. We'll see who wins this one (smart money is on mom, btw).

We got the sleeper sofas in the house and where I want them, now we have to get everything else done so they can both be opened to be used. I got my room cleared enough to open ours for Hubs and I, The living room for my son is going to be a while yet. Especially with boys not helping. Sigh. Teens.

We got our "other son" (the boy we took in) into the eye dr yesterday. We paid his copay for his contact exam and glasses. It turns out his rx is the same in both eyes, so I also sprung for a box of contacts for him. My son decided contacts are not for him right now. He doesn't like putting them in. They bother his eyes. That's fine. The other one has worn them before, so it's not a big deal to him. I also got him a small travel case, spare case, and cleaning solution. Since both of us wear contacts, we need to keep things color coded, since I made the rule, I felt I should pay for the colored containers.

Hubs went yesterday for more biopsies and will be having more MOHS surgeries in 3 weeks. yesterday was 14 spots biopsied. It seems like it may be getting more serious from here on out. I can deal with it. As long as they are only basal cell and not squamous or metastatic, I am fine. When they are the others, God will give me the strength to deal with it. He has so far.

In 3 weeks Hubs will be home for a week. Mohs on thursday, more biopsies on Friday, more Mohs on Monday, then we'll see how he feels before he goes back to work. The Mohs are for 6 spots on his head. I worry more when the cancers are on his head, because there is less space to travel to the brain if they metastasize. God will do what He needs to do with it, and us. It will be ok.

We are worrying less about keeping the money aside to get Hubs' truck back than we are about keeping all the bills current. With the time he's having to take off for breakdowns and medical treatments, it's rough. We're still hoping to get some help from the gofundme page, but it's not looking good. It's just such a huge amount.

If anyone knows someone who lives in Nebraska who could find out for me what the legal maximum is that they can charge for storage, I would really appreciate the information. I still don't think I should have to pay anything for them collaborating in stealing my truck and harboring a stolen vehicle!!! But maybe I'm being unreasonable??

Anyway. Hubs said to go ahead and invest as much as we can squeeze out of our savings and budget into my business, so I'm trying to get as much of my materials and supplies on sale as I possibly can. I'm also getting the software tomorrow to make more designs and change sizes on designs.

The "door county" stuff is really starting to sell well, so we figure I should have a LOT of it made over the winter. I'm going to have to raise prices a little again for next year, but I think it will be fine. Considering my quality, I don't think anyone who matters will mind. And the people who mind? Evidently aren't interested in quality.

So, Even though my eating hasn't been great and life keeps getting in my way, Things are starting to look up a little.

Have a wonderful weekend, I plan to!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAREN608 8/29/2014 8:17AM

    Hope the rain holds off for you.

We had so much rain it flooded parts of my yard on top this hill, so 4-6 inches in one morning and rained for 4 mornings. Bet the farmer's corn will be nice this year around here and gardens doing well.

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Just ARGH!

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Things were going fairly well today, even with being exhausted from the overnight drive to get Hubs.

We got my dr appointment in, got my new rx, got Hubs scheduled for more treatments, and went ahead and robbed peter to pay paul and buy furniture for the boys so they both have comfortable sleeping arrangements.

At which point, my son decided since what he wants and needs HAS been taken care of, he can be a butt to me.

He threw a fit when the phone rang because the cordless isn't plugged in. We had other things I needed outlets for today. LIKE MAKING TOWELS???? And he couldn't bother bringing the phone in to me because it has a cord????!!!! And acted like he was 7 instead of 17 when he answered. He can't even tell me for sure the name of the person that called??? And this is the phone I use for business. I now have a raging stress migraine.

He even had the nerve to tell me "don't even talk to me"????? Oh, it is going to be a LONG week.

He couldn't care less how much pain I am in or how hard it is for me to do things for him, as long as he gets what he wants, that's all that matters. I am so angry I could scream. So I'm venting on my spark instead.

I though about binging, but I'd just get sick from the migraine, so I''m really not going to even go there.

It's going to be a cold dang day in hell before I bother busting my butt doing things for him again, that's for sure.

And he wanted me to take him shopping for school clothes? He can dang well walk and get his own. I will give him budget of x amount and that's what he'll have to make do with. I'm done keeping his schedule and taking him everywhere when he doesn't bother getting up on time. I'm just done right now.

I don't like that I still let him upset me this much and I really don't like that I"m still stupid enough to keep trying to do things to make things better for him. He doesn't appreciate anything I do, so why do I keep doing it???

Ok enough venting I'm going to find some meds and at least try to sleep this headache off.

Hope your night is going better than mine.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAREN608 8/26/2014 9:40PM

    17 is old enough to get up to an alarm clock, feed himself cereal, wash the bowl/spoon, go to school etc. In another year he can be out on his ear working, so may as well wake up and be independent.

We must have had it very rough in the old days of corded phones and no TV remote. We just didn't know it.

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JCLJR4547 8/26/2014 8:24PM

  stick to your guns!

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Mondays blog that wasn't

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Because I didn't have time. Parts are going to take several days, so Hubs asked me to come get him.

I'm not used to 200 mile drives any more, but I managed. I'm exhausted this morning though. Waiting to see Dr about the neuropathy. Will try to post more later. ..

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAGIK0731 8/26/2014 9:41AM

    Hope you have a good day!

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