Monday, June 30, 2014
96 days... until my wedding. Man this is going by quick. Most of the stuff is done... just little stuff now.
I've been sucking at weight loss. Food. Food is delicious. Food that is free and unhealthy has been my downfall this week. I bought some healthy options and I'm going to get my butt back to actually eating it. Money's tight right now. Haven't had many dog walking jobs this week, so I'm brining in like $30 this week. With the 4th coming up, I've got more work -- but nothing until the 3rd :-/
I'm trying not to stress about the money and the wedding and my job and my lack of a summer job... stress = killer. Stress = aging. Stress = stress!
I'm kind of just rambling. I'm trying to be more active on here, falling off that wagon too. So I'm just gonna quit rambling and go stalk your blogs.
I'm waiting for the man to leave for work before I take the dogs out for a walk. We're under a heat advisory with 105F heat index and high humidity, so I have to get out early. And the boy can't survive in the morning without me. He doesn't eat breakfast, doesn't pack a lunch, just kind of zombie walks out of the building and gets to work somehow. I'm apparently a morning person, which is good, since I'll be teaching at 8am two days a week, which means leaving my apt by 6:30, which means getting up by 5:15ish to get ready and take care of the monsters. *ugh, not looking forward to that! That's coming up even sooner.
Okay plan for today: walk the dog (and carry Beaker since he needs a knee replacement) -- workout with some strength training at home -- clean the apt as best I can -- and open one of my chemistry textbooks and start planning my syllabi. Oh yea... and eat healthy!
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
I have 109 days to whip myself in shape for my wedding.
A friend of mine were talking last night about pictures on FB of daughters and their fathers on Father's Day -- most of them were the girls in their wedding dresses. We both *semi-shallowly* went on a bender about how fat arms look and how I don't want my arms to look fat in pictures.
This is silly. I know it is silly. The pictures I took on May 4th are a reminder to me that I don't want to look like that. I did all this work to lose the weight and get smaller, make my arms smaller, go through a pretty extensive skin removal surgery ordeal, just to make my arms look smaller...
What I want to know, is when the heck in history did women get so focused on their arms? I know this isn't a universal issue. Some women obsess about their butt or their thighs... I obsess about my arms. I have to get it outta my head that I'm not good enough or small enough.
In positive news, my tracking of food and walking has helped my weight. I'm down from 207 to 203.5. Moving in the RIGHT direction. I need to have a party when I get to Onederland again. I never thought I'd be above the dreaded 200 again. But I slipped. Repeatedly... often into a bag full of french fries.
I'm trying to eat better. Be better. Do better. Live better. I don't want to die early. I don't want to be a heavy momma. I don't want to get diabetes and heart disease. I don't want it to hurt when I walk (my hip joint is killing me again). I want to run (haha, well not really) -- I want to be able to be active and live.
So dang you fatty sugary foods... I'm opting to ignore you for a bit and indulge slightly.
In wedding news: we booked a Photo Booth -- we booked our AV equipment (no DJ -- just an iPad and a mic) -- we have our invite color scheme and font down -- we're working on a manageable guest list -- my mom and I are making our own living centerpieces out of succulents -- and I found a dress for my engagement photos! Whew.
I keep trying to make progress since I'm not working that much. In Chemistry news, I have to completely design and organize a chemicals stockroom that makes it logical, safe, and orderly. It is currently an unsafe cluster***k. I'm reading up and trying to follow protocols and guidelines to make this safe. Its a lot of responsibility. And it worries me. I want to do it right, so I'm going to ask for help.
So here's to taking care of myself, and staying on track!
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Sh*ts getting real. Planning has to be done. Why are there so many little details to take care of? Iím trying to not let it stress me out but money is a big deal.
My mother took my ďthere is no budgetĒ wedding and slashed her portion to $10k... which is VERY different than ďno budget.Ē I tried to have a budget talk SEVERAL times with her, fearing this would happen... and it did. SO now weíre back tracking and trying to save money wherever the heck we can.
Since my job doesnít start until August 14th Ė I have been scrambling to try to find a way to work this summer. I finally found something with a company that walks dogs and takes care of cats. Some of them are daily clients, but most are dogs that are being walked while their owners are gone on vacation Ė so summer is a big time for them. I could also help out around the holidays too since I get a lot of days off then as well. Iím just excited itís a job that pays $10/30 minute walks and I get to walk = exercise + money = success!
I have started back up on myfitnesspal too Ė feel free to add me on there as: saradrenk Ė if youíre an instagrammer I use the same name on there... and on Pinterest. What the heck am I supposed to do after I get married? Changing my name is just foreign to me at this point. The boy and I have chatted... I think Iím going to hyphenate and the kids will have his last name. But still super werid.
Iím on a two day streak of eating good and drinking lots of water and trying to stay moving. Today was a bit of a slow day. I had my first bridezilla moment when I saw the invitation proofs and freaked the eff out since they were kiiiiiind of hideous with the color scheme the designer started. I said peacock, which she took for grape, lime, and navy... it looked BAD. So now Iím waiting for the second set of proofs and holding my breath. TJ just wants to cancel the order and not work with them, but I donít know... the set they sent us was so preeeeetty. Iíll post pics once I decide theyíre not hideous anymore.
SO 114 days. I need a dress fitting in about six weeks. So after that Iím not supposed to lose too much weight. The way I carry my weight though I donít think it will matter. Iím not going to drop 20 pounds or anything. Iím just trying to muscle up a bit and get rid of some puff/bloat. My arms got puffy :-( Thatís the worst part of my weight gain. AND I have saddlebags now... my pants are not my friends. SO Iím getting my butt in gear. I officially weighed in at 207 three days ago... 8 above a # Iím comfortable with. And about 30 from where Iíd LIKE to be. I was about 180 when I started dating TJ. I was super fit and healthy. My surgery derailed that... after the whole, one-arm-not-attached-to-my-body-issue, working out fell out of my lifestyle.
SO Iím back. I have 114 days to get my butt in gear and my guns loaded with muscle.
Sunday, June 01, 2014
What can I do in 125 days? I am going to find out. Whatís in 125 days? My wedding. Eep! The dress, the show, the party. Iím excited. What Iím not excited about is how I look.
I did a quickie blog to show I wasnít dead a few days ago, but what I didnít mention is how fluffy I have become. I donít know how much Iíve gained. Iíve avoided the scale as much as the gym, but I know Iíve gained. Its gone to my arms (nooo!) and my butt (which fiancť isnít too upset about) and my belly. I tried on my wedding dress a few weeks ago, and my mom actually said ďoh Iím glad it still fits.Ē Yay! I just love being called fat in my wedding dress Ė thanks mom! *sarcasm, just in case you didnít notice. She hasnít been the most supportive person lately. They think that since I did a quickie marriage ceremony on May the 4th that my wedding in October is not only pointless, but a waste of money because ďits not special anymore.Ē Its becoming more prevalent lately to get paper married before a wedding for many reasons... Lots of our military friends have done it; I did it for insurance and so my religious fiancť/hubby could move in. BUT now my family is all up in arms. My least favorite sister called to tell me how disappointed she was, and note, I didnít tell her Ė my mom told her after we specifically told her this was a secret. We donít want the word getting around that weíre married Ė we want people to enjoy the wedding in October and given the reaction my family has had, I just donít want to tell a lot of people...
So my family kinda sucks. Not very supportive, and highly stressful. So I finally moved out! I now live across the street from Forest Park in Saint Louis. I started taking the dogs on walks, but theyíre tiny and wear out. I may have even hurt my chihuahuaís back legs with too much walking! Poor thing. The Pomeranian needs to go on a diet/exercise plan, so Iím making her walk and carrying the Chihuahua. So Iím trying. Iím also trying to get back in my routine of working out from home Ė arms/legs/abs Ė all stuff I can do on my own. Iíve got plenty of time. Iím not working this summer. I couldnít find any teaching positions. They apparently were filled in FEBRUARY! What the crap! Plus thereís not a lot of college classes teaching biology and chemistry in the summer Ė and they usually go to the full time faculty first. :-/ So Iím not working. Luckily the boy is going to help me pay my bills. Its only temporary though...
Because Iím a full time assistant professor in the fall! Yay! Iím officially an Assistant Professor of Chemistry. I have to teach two chems and one bio in the fall Ė and Iím currently developing my own Biochemistry class from scratch. Picking the books and labs and everything! Scary, but exciting! Hence all of the exclamation points!
But anyway, Iím going to try and do a few small blogs to get all of the hijinks Iíve been through out on ďpaperĒ to get them outta my brain.
I have 125 days to get this body rocking and an entire summer to do it. I also need to get the boy moving, but heís been a bit stressed out lately too. I need to wake his butt up so I can get the sheets heís sleeping on washed at my momís house, but for some reason I donít think heís going to like that at 8:30 on a Sunday morning ;-)
This photo made me go... damn, I paid $6k for those arms, I need to get them toned again.
May the 4th be with you
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