Sunday, August 04, 2013
The only thing that has been constant in my life for the last few months has been change. And I know that I have been eating my feelings for the past few weeks, feeling myself backsliding, not gaining anything back, thank God, but not losing, and not feeling very good, physically and mentally.
The huge thing in my life now: I am getting divorced. Like many people in that situation, my ex pisses me off from time to time. So now I have an "x" factor in my life. We have no kids, but we have a few things we have to work on before the divorce is final. I can only deal with him in small doses; we are trying to keep it civil, but it's not working really well if I have to deal with him for longer periods of time. And EVERY TIME that happens, I feel like going to Taco Bell and eating everything on the damn menu.
I have also moved my office to my home which has led to serious disorganization and having to find extra time in my day to unpack and reorganize. Also, many clients now think that because I work from home I am available 24/7 which I need to curb, as I still do need my down time. Got texts and calls from some today on A SUNDAY.... no, not going to answer these calls, I know it's not a bleeding from the head emergency so - enough is enough!!
I am starting a new business which has met some very unexpected snags, so my partners and I have had to reformulate our whole business plan; fortunately, this will be up and running very soon based on our conversations, and hopefully my retirement plan will no longer be "dying on the courthouse steps." We are all learning as we go, as this business incorporates stuff we know but is outside of our comfort zones. Been busy formulating privacy policies and terms and conditions and doing legal research to determine what we need to do to get up and running. My partners are polar opposites emotion-wise though both are smart and sweet; one is a pessimist and assumes that nothing going to work, and the other is an eternal optimist insisting that we will find a way to do everything. I am the lawyer in the middle of these two awesome guys who says stuff may not work but we'll find a way around it. Which is what we're doing now.
I am also starting to rejuvenate my social life to the extent it can be so far, getting together with old friends and trying to meet new ones. In a lot of cases, some of the right words are coming from the wrong mouths; for the most part the attention I want I'm not really getting, and the attention I don't want is coming out of the woodwork and bombarding me. After 13 years out of the game, I seriously don't understand dating anymore, so I'm comfortable where I'm at for now, but have doubts as to whether I will ever be able to survive out there.
All of these stressors, both good and bad, have led to my temporary sideline on my weight loss ventures. Down 104 pounds and stuck. Tired a lot, a little depressed I think. Can't afford the medication so once again my health is MY RESPONSIBILITY. But I think that this is even more reason for me to stick to my routine, to work out whether I want to or not, to eat well. I have to run on my premium fuel. Just writing this is helping me sort it out and feel better!! I am not giving up just because my life is upside down!
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Today I went to court on one of my cases. Again it was a court I have not been in for quite a while, probably about at least six months. I got a lot of comments, even from the judge, about how much weight I've lost. Felt pretty good!! I just love it when people do that and ask me what I'm doing.... I gladly say sparkpeople!! yay!
Thursday, July 18, 2013
One huge thing I have gotten out of losing 104 pounds besides the fact that I have lost 104 pounds..... I am inspiring others!
I have signed up 3 more people under my name on this site. I've been to court in front of people who haven't seen me in a few months and I'm hearing people asking if I've had weight loss surgery, that I look great, that they didn't even recognize me, etc. More than one person has asked me what I'm doing, and I tell them Sparkpeople.com! That I'm doing it old school, eating right and exercising and they can't believe it. I've gotten more than one comment on my page and sparkmail stating that I'm an inspiration to the senders.
Who would have thought when I was standing on my doctor's scale crying over my weight that I would be here? I wouldn't have. I had tried and failed so many times before that, and it's still a day to day thing, but I'm doing it now! So anyone else out there who's reading my blog here today, YOU CAN DO THIS. If I can, anyone can. Allow this site to help you get your mind straight, the rest will follow. Just keep going!!
Monday, October 29, 2012
I am writing this on this site because I think that everyone on here has been here...... the idiot who makes a comment which is barely framed with any kind of tact, and is actually really rude.
I, like many people, have a facebook page. The picture on it that I chose for my profile was taken a time ago, but is probably one of my best pictures since it was taken at one of my lowest weights. It's only a face shot, but you can still see I am overweight - duh! In the past, I've gotten lots of compliments on that picture. anyway, this a$$hole who is friends with my cousin and I have repeatedly had the debate over health insurance, specifically the mandate to buy it or be penalized. I don't care where someone stands on this issue here.... the point I was trying to make to this idiot is I can't afford insurance for me or my family, it's priced where I can't get it, about $1000.00 a month for me and my husband only; I am self employed and with my diabetes it's out of reach - they can't make it affordable to me and even though it's illegal to turn me down, it has the same effect. I am a lawyer but I am not rich, I have dedicated my practice to helping a lot of people who would otherwise not be able to afford legal services. However, I still make too much to be considered "poor."
Anyway, this know it all has made commentary in the past about the "fact" that I must not be a very good lawyer if I don't have the money to afford insurance. I've largely ignored this..... He has no idea what it took for me to become a lawyer, that I paid my own way through, that I started my practice on a shoestring, that my clients are not high income clients, and that recently, more and more sole practitioners are suffering in this economy - all of my friends who do this for a living are concentrating more on collecting what's owed to them and are otherwise totally tapped on all their resources. This guy does not know me, he certainly does not know me personally. But then he commented that I should do the responsible thing and buy insurance so that he doesn't have to pay my imminent health bills, and he said imminent because based on my picture, it looks like I have impending diabetes and heart disease.
I'm sorry, but what a total prick..... pardon the language, but sometimes it fits! I have been diabetic since my early 20's before I was this overweight. It runs in my family. and I was really pissed off since I thought that picture looked good, at least compared to what I was previously! after briefly responding to him, I blocked the son of a bitch, reported the comment to facebook, told my cousin that she had some really rude friends..... I don't need that B.S. in my life. That's bullying as far as I'm concerned.
So to the SOB who made that comment, thank you, you have strengthened my resolve to continue to get healthy, to pick up again where I left off. Now you can drop dead and go straight to hell, F*** you and your commentary to a person you know absolutely nothing about.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
One thing I am struggling with is finding balance in my life. Ironic, isn't it, I work in a profession where the scales of justice is the symbol, I have one on my letterhead and I have one in my office, and I CAN'T FIND BALANCE.
Either I'm kicking butt at work or kicking butt on my weight loss efforts, it never seems that I can do both. One always suffers. Anyone have any tips out there, I'd appreciate it, because I'm a little discouraged! Leave a comment on my spark page, pull a fellow member out of the quicksand! :)
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