STEPH-KNEE   61,331
SparkPoints
60,000-79,999 SparkPoints
 
 
STEPH-KNEE's Recent Blog Entries

Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Screwing Up VS. Giving Up

Wednesday, April 23, 2014



I pretty much consider myself an expert on the topic of "giving up" when it comes to weight loss. In all my previous attempts, I always ended up throwing in the towel. I managed to quit Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem (twice) and even Spark People twice in the past. Lately I have been off track and screwing up, but I am realizing there is such a huge difference between that and giving up.

Giving up usually comes after some huge breaking point. It could be many different things. Some of these things include:

emoticon Hitting a weight loss plateau. You are doing everything right, yet the scale won't budge, so why even try?

emoticon The scale goes up a pound or two despite doing everything right, what is the point of working hard if I'm gaining weight?

emoticon After a birthday, holiday or vacation, where you had a taste of the "good life", not having to track and eating whatever you want. Why not just keep heading down that path?

emoticon An injury can really set us back and put us into the "I'm done with this" attitude.

What I've noticed for me, is that once I've given up my mind is made up. There is no chance of getting me to try again or to get me motivated. I will immediately stop whatever program I was on, and I will not look back. I will no longer weigh myself, track my food, make an effort to exercise or drink my water. I will not even THINK about anything weight loss related after feeling defeated for the first couple of days. In fact, I will very quickly FORGET all the new habits that I formed, and just revert to my old ways. I will accept the fact that I will "always be fat" and I will admit defeat to the awful voice that told me I could never do it. It could be months or even years before I even decide to attempt weight loss again, that is what giving up is for me.

Screwing up is a totally different can of worms. Screwing up is eating garbage all weekend and not tracking, yet every step of the way I am aware of what I am doing, and I feel pretty crummy about it. Giving up gave me a free license to eat and not care, but when I am screwing up, I realize I care very much. I am often reminding myself that I need to get back on track. I am telling myself I really shouldn't be eating that (nothing is off limits, but I am talking overeating here), and I feel bad about the bloating, the weight gain, and the fact that I am not doing what I'm supposed to. I may continue to mess things up for days or even weeks, but I never once think about quitting. I also don't lose all my healthy habits. Overeating is usually the issue, but I typically still manage to track all my food, even if it's over my calories, I drink my water, and I walk daily. I still log into Spark, I might be a little quiet as I have been the last few days, but I still read what others are up to and encourage them, and of course I spin the wheel. emoticon I never lose sight of my goals, and I know in my heart that this is a temporary bump in the road and that it will pass. I have been on this journey for 23 months... even though I have spent weeks off track during those 23 months, I still count the entire journey and the time put in. Even when I was messing up, I never threw in the towel and I never lost sight of my goals or why I was here.

So despite screwing up the last few days, I know this isn't the end for me. I know part of it is exhaustion, part of it is emotional issues that I've been dealing with, and part of it is just that this weight loss journey can get very long and tedious when you have a lot of weight to lose. But with that said, this journey is so worth it and it is something that is so important to me that I will never give up. So I am going to work on getting back to business, getting some good days under my belt, and getting the ball rolling again. Just remember, we all have our bad days, weeks, or even months... but as long as you don't throw in the towel, you are doing better than everyone who refuses to even try! emoticon emoticon


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BECCA315 4/24/2014 8:19PM

    Well said! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
2HELPU 4/24/2014 8:12PM

  What you have said on your blog is so true for many of us. Disappointments, emotional stress, lack of motivation just to name a few can cause us to want to give up but we realize that even though we have messed up by not giving up and realizing that tomorrow is another day will keep us going on. Thanks again for your message.

Report Inappropriate Comment
AJB121299 4/24/2014 8:10PM

    nice

Report Inappropriate Comment
FRABBIT 4/24/2014 8:08PM

  Great blog and so true. Right after Easter I am screwing up but getting back on track.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JUNEAU2010 4/24/2014 8:07PM

    So very well said and so wonderfully profound!

Report Inappropriate Comment
HEATHERSTHPW68 4/24/2014 7:51PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
J2740LOU 4/24/2014 7:45PM

    You will reach your goals with such insight and wisdom. Never quit and never give up. "Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again" with the lesson you learned. You are Awsome! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MAYBER 4/24/2014 7:29PM

    Thank you for sharing your great thoughts on your journey to a healthy lifestyle
You can do it one day at a time love prayers peace God Bless
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
STEPHNS1 4/24/2014 7:18PM

    What a great blog! I see myself in every word you wrote here. I love your attitude - thanks so much for sharing today. I am so glad that I happened across this. Good luck!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JUSGETTENBY42 4/24/2014 7:07PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MRSRIGS1 4/24/2014 6:21PM

    GREAT blog as always Steph-Knee! I am happy you are hanging in there. Slow and steady wins the race. I want to share a quote that I often say to myself " Quitters NEVER win and Winners NEVER quit!" You're a WINNER! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
OVERTIME13 4/24/2014 6:18PM

    Thank you for your honest insight, your post was what I needed to read. Take care!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NIKKICOLE83 4/24/2014 6:14PM

    So proud of you sista girl!! You are totally right! I have screwed up plenty of times in this 23 months but I never, EVER thought of giving up. But sometimes it takes having given up before to know how detrimental it is. This is my third time with Spark and this is my longest run. With most things in life, it is about timing and with this weight loss journey, you have to be ready to continually evaluate yourself.

Report Inappropriate Comment
WOOFERCOALBOY 4/24/2014 6:12PM

    Progress.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KATESCAPE 4/24/2014 5:59PM

    This is a message I needed to hear today. Thank you~

Report Inappropriate Comment
SAMMI-SAM 4/24/2014 5:36PM

    Thank you for that! My scale went up a couple pounds last week & it made me feel like crap! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
WALNUTT1961 4/24/2014 5:23PM

    Thanks for sharing! I needed to read this today! Keep pushing girl!

Report Inappropriate Comment
VAINVT 4/24/2014 5:03PM

  After many failures, things came together for me. But, I still make mistakes.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHAKERATTLEROLL 4/24/2014 4:59PM

  Thank you for such a beautiful, open & honest blog post. You could of been my twin writing all of this for it is how I feel. So again thank you from the bottom of my heart. May the Lord continue to touch you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BLPRETTYGIRL1 4/24/2014 4:49PM

    emoticon It happens to all of us. emoticon

Comment edited on: 4/24/2014 4:50:46 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRISH-IN-TEXAS 4/24/2014 4:38PM

    emoticon This is so totally accurate! When we learn this for ourselves is, I'm sure, when we win the war once and for all!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARTHASKI 4/24/2014 4:30PM

    So well written!! I completely agree with the screwing up v giving up conundrum emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEWTINK 4/24/2014 4:30PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
HIKETOHEIGHTS 4/24/2014 4:19PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KMS3333 4/24/2014 4:19PM

    emoticon emoticon You are so doing this the right way. Never give up!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHUBBY_MOM 4/24/2014 4:12PM

    Great blog! Thank you for sharing!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PATRICIAANN46 4/24/2014 4:10PM

  emoticon for the great advice. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DONNELDA22 4/24/2014 4:07PM

    Thanks : I needed that. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
THOMS1 4/24/2014 3:58PM

    emoticon for this blog. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
AEO_SUNSHINE 4/24/2014 3:52PM

    Your blog spoke to me - saw this on another Spark member message trailer and thought it was very relevant.

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
~Winston Churchill


Report Inappropriate Comment
ANGELONE11 4/24/2014 3:46PM

    emoticon Many times of I have screwed up but never lost sight of what my goals are which is to be healthy and live better! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BRANDIM_81 4/24/2014 3:35PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MSROZZIE 4/24/2014 3:18PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon Focus on what you have done right instead of what's gone wrong! Keep the faith! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NONNAOF2 4/24/2014 3:07PM

  It could of been me writing this blog! Thank you for being so open, I'll not throw the towel in either! :-)

Report Inappropriate Comment
CELIAMINER 4/24/2014 2:59PM

    Great insight!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KIN59VARA 4/24/2014 2:59PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

I love your attitude and the pictures you put on the blog I really like the one with all the good days and then the bad days. It really is a great visual.

Report Inappropriate Comment
K-RAE82 4/24/2014 2:15PM

    thank you. I often mistake screwing up for giving up and it leads me to completely give up. This was a good reminder that I needed right now. Thank you and good luck with your on going success.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MDIENER 4/24/2014 2:09PM

    Well said and very true.

Report Inappropriate Comment
UNSWEETMAMA 4/24/2014 2:08PM

    emoticon
emoticon emoticon emoticon
I needed that.
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SCRAPBECCA 4/24/2014 1:56PM

    Thanks for your share, glad your are not giving up!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MNNICE 4/24/2014 1:48PM

    I love the smiley faces -- it's a great visual of how little difference a few bad days really have in the overall scheme of things. Never give up!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CMCAMPBELL1 4/24/2014 1:48PM

  Your post came along at just the right time for me...thanks! There's no shame in falling down, only in staying down.

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEWLITTLE1 4/24/2014 1:43PM

    We all hit minor road blocks. But the good news is we have teh choice to push through it. You sound like you have your feet firmly grounded emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BKNOCK 4/24/2014 1:42PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
OWENZZOO 4/24/2014 1:34PM

    Great blog!

One of the motivational sayings I got from SparkPeople is:

Being defeated is often temporary, giving up makes it permanent. ~ Marilyn von Savant.

I cling to that when I'm not doing much.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JERICHO1991 4/24/2014 1:34PM

    Falling down, getting back up. As long as we keep getting back up, we'll continue on the right path.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARCIA_DC 4/24/2014 1:32PM

  Very useful, very helpful distinction!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SDEHNKE 4/24/2014 1:31PM

    That's where I'm at after Easter. I've eaten things I shouldn't have. I've eaten more than I should have. In the past that could have led to me giving up but I realize that this is just a blip a "bump in the road" and all is not lost if I just go back to doing what I know to do. While the food has been tasty, in the long run I want to be healthy more. My system is rebelling with all the high fat and sugary foods too. Getting back on track today.

emoticon

Suellen


Report Inappropriate Comment
SPEEDY143 4/24/2014 1:29PM

    emoticon NEVER QUIT emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DIANNEMT 4/24/2014 1:25PM

    very emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Me?! In A Walking Group?!

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Joining a walking group probably wouldn't be a big deal to most, but it is a huge deal for me for two reasons. The first is physical, I was a girl who was 272 pounds and would go up 7 stairs to my bedroom and have to stop and rest. I am obviously not that same girl anymore, but I do still have arthritis in my knees, a metal plate in my leg and screws in my ankle. The second reason is the fact that I am shy at first, so agreeing to join a GROUP of strangers was something I would have never done before starting this weight loss journey.

I had been having a rough time emotionally, and I don't necessarily want to go into all of that here, but that paired with TOM sent me reeling and I needed a change. I need to get out there, I needed to do more, I needed to meet new people. As I was googling I came across a site called meetup.com. I decided to check it out. I love to walk so I wanted to find a walking group in the area. At first I almost gave up, because most groups were HIKING groups. I can walk like a champ, but hiking, not so much! What I did appreciate about this site is they were very descriptive and specific in what they were doing. They would tell you mileage/hills/stairs etc. A lot of these people were doing big hikes in the mountains, and that is simply not for me. Not just because of the fact that I am out shape, but also the fact that I am clumsy. I am the female Steve Urkel. I mean, I can trip over my own 2 feet, I earned my metal plate and screws breaking my leg and ankle falling down the stairs. emoticon So I have to be careful not to have a repeat of that incident.

When I was about to give up, I found the golden nugget. A group that meets 5 minutes from my house and walks 3.5 miles at the college once a week, and at 6pm. That is huge for me as I work nights, and many people were walking at 8am. I was a little intimidated because they said there would be hills, but they encouraged me to come.

I went, and at first I wasn't so sure about this. We started off with a lot of stairs. They were skinny (in height) and there were a lot of landings, so it wasn't too terrible. I was breathing hard at the end of it and my heart was pounding. I immediately thought "I'm not doing this again." Then we hit the trails. Okay, then I thought, I REALLY am never doing this again. It wasn't so much that the hills were hard (okay they were), but the scary part for me is the rocks and the paths, and even though it is a trail it is very uneven. All I could think about was that I was going to bite the dust. I was also in the back of about a 13 person group, but I had company with one fabulous young lady. I told a few people about how I was clumsy and I had to be very careful not to fall.

Every so often, the group would stop and allow us slow pokes time to catch up and regroup before moving forward. I appreciated that. I also appreciated that no one seemed to really be bothered by having to wait, and no one was ever telling us to hurry up. I would rather be slow, careful and not fall than try to hustle and catch up and hurt myself. So I like the fact that they were understanding that I was slower and starting out. As the walk went on, I felt more confident in not only being able to complete this but I also felt more steady and less likely to fall... although still cautious lol.

They said this was the longest walk they ever did, which was accidental because one of the gates was locked and sent us on a detour. 4.25 miles we did, and they usually do 3.5. The only bad thing was, the route we took was longer, but not as many hills. So next time it will be shorter but it will have more hills, and that's a little intimidating.

The true test well come Thursday afternoon when I wake up. If this has managed to flare up my arthritis and caused my knees to swell, then I won't be able to keep doing this. I am really, really hoping that my knees are okay with this, because I really enjoyed it and plan to keep up with this weekly for quite some time. So wish me luck that I don't wake up with knees the size of bowling balls. emoticon

Of course Sparky still needed his walk, so after a few hours of rest he got a 1.5 mile walk, and he was happy with that. Overall, I had a blast, and stepping out of my comfort zone and meeting new people was totally worth it. Hopefully I will improve and even if I'm always destined to "bring up the rear", hopefully the rear won't be too far from the front. :)

Thursday afternoon update: My knees are not sore or swollen so if it stays this way I can join them next Wednesday! I'm very excited! :)

The bonus, we got to see some of the farm animals at the college. I couldn't get a good picture of the calf, but the sheep and goats were adorable. :)




  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BESSHAILE 4/22/2014 3:00PM

    You go girl! I'm sorry you've been down but I'm so proud of you stepping outside of your comfort zone. How wonderful your knees didn't mind after all and how good of them to be patient and encouraging. You are one brave honey.

Report Inappropriate Comment
THEVOW2013 4/22/2014 1:34PM

    emoticon You know how you wrote in the blog before this "there is always an excuse to eat"
Well, same is true with activity , there is always an excuse not to move. I have shifted knee caps and I run now...I was that 288 lb girl who crapped her pants trying to run the required 1 mile in gym class!

Take your limits off Steph and lets continue to get it done!
So proud of you!!! emoticon emoticon and that's that!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KMS3333 4/21/2014 6:36PM

    emoticon emoticon You are doing great. Keepi it up!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SLLYONS51 4/21/2014 3:39PM

  emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PIGGYWAY 4/20/2014 7:55PM

  emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
RADIOACTIVEGN 4/20/2014 2:21PM

  Good luck - I hope that you woke up pain free and will be able to join the group again. I'm going to look up meetup.com to look for something in my area!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BHENDRICK2 4/20/2014 1:34PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DAWNDMOORE40 4/20/2014 1:17PM

    Sometimes to change our lives, we have to step out of the box, out of what makes us comfortable! It sounds like you are doing that with this walking group! emoticon emoticon Keep it up! You never know what great things lye around the corner for you! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TINAJANE76 4/20/2014 5:08AM

    I love that you got out of your comfort zone and wound up having a great time. Sounds like a great way to get out there and meet new people while helping you to reach your goals. Keep up the great work, girl!
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
WENDYANNE61 4/20/2014 2:13AM

    Yes - you in a walking group! Change can lead you down many new paths and open your mind to new ways of moving forward......

Report Inappropriate Comment
JUSGETTENBY42 4/20/2014 12:46AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TEXASFILLY 4/19/2014 11:33PM

    emoticon emoticon You are rockin' it, li'l sister~ emoticon emoticon BB~ emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
68ANNE 4/19/2014 10:37PM

    You are doing so amazing! The good times are so much more than any bad

Report Inappropriate Comment
AJB121299 4/19/2014 10:17PM

    nice

Report Inappropriate Comment
BLUEJEAN99 4/19/2014 8:01PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DOILIEQUEEN 4/19/2014 5:59PM

  emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LAWANDMUSIC 4/19/2014 3:14PM

    Way to go!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DUSTYPRAIRIE 4/19/2014 10:52AM

    Walk on! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KNEEMAKER 4/19/2014 10:47AM

  Just keep on keeping on. Step by step you are getting there. Enjoy the journey. We have but one life to live. Go out there and live every minute and every day. Congratulations. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
HAWKTHREE 4/19/2014 8:49AM

    You are very courageous to have done this!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KRHODES157 4/19/2014 7:30AM

    So glad you took a step out of your comfort zone! Sounds like you had a great time. Thanks for sharing!

emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
EBONYSOL 4/19/2014 7:14AM

    Way to go! I remember hearing about the site you mentioned and forgot it later so I am glad you mentioned it because I want to see if there is a walking group in my neck of the woods. Thanks!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ZELLAZM 4/19/2014 5:26AM

    Great! So glad your knees are cooperating! That mutual support of the meet-up group is like Spark "with skin on"!
I go Nordic walking with a meet-up group when I'm in Florida- have you thought of trying it? Pole-walking aka Nordic walking? It might be just the thing for you with your joint issues!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CARRIELYN56 4/19/2014 5:03AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ROXYCARIN 4/19/2014 3:50AM

  emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BANNERMAN 4/19/2014 2:00AM

  Thanks for sharing.
Keep on Keeping on!

Report Inappropriate Comment
WRITERWANNAB 4/19/2014 1:22AM

    This sounds great for you & I hope it works out for you to keep doing it. I'll be rooting for you! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CORNERKICK 4/19/2014 1:08AM

  emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUGAR0814 4/19/2014 12:47AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JAMER123 4/19/2014 12:13AM

    emoticon for sharing your blog with us!!
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CICELY360 4/18/2014 11:50PM

  Good blog

Report Inappropriate Comment
MAYBER 4/18/2014 11:37PM

    Thank you for sharing your journey best wishes as you continue to walk
One day at a time love prayers peace God Bless
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KIMBERLY0916 4/18/2014 10:42PM

    AWESOME because no matter how much you hurt or felt like a slow-poke ... YOU JUST DID MORE THAN EVERYONE .. THAT HASN'T TRIED ... hasn't gotten off the couch .. hasn't walked around their living room .. them wandered outside to walk their parking lot or their neighborhood

and look at you!! even with the fall risk and nerves and group setting .. YOU DID IT !!!

and that whole social thing .. gets easier with time! .. and so will those trails

Report Inappropriate Comment
SCRAPBECCA 4/18/2014 10:26PM

    Well done you! How awesome that you have challenged yourself to do this!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DCWILLIAMS831 4/18/2014 10:18PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CLAYARTIST 4/18/2014 10:17PM

  emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DANAPRIME 4/18/2014 9:29PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MIMIDOT 4/18/2014 8:57PM

    Congratulations for stepping out of your comfort zone and meeting other walkers. Sounds like you picked a good group. Walk on!

Report Inappropriate Comment
WALLPER26 4/18/2014 8:27PM

    emoticon on stepping out of your comfort zone. It took a lot of courage to follow through and go walking! I'm so glad you had a positive experience!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
IAMAGEMLOVER 4/18/2014 7:58PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MSROZZIE 4/18/2014 7:07PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ADAGIO_CON_BRIO 4/18/2014 7:00PM

    Good for you! You've done an amazing job of getting out of your natural comfort zone---and for many of us (I am not meaning you, necessarily) the comfort zone is a place that keeps us unhealthy.

So your blog has inspired me to try something similar if I can find it near me. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LIVELYGIRL2 4/18/2014 6:21PM

  oh this is terrific. I hope it works out for you!!!

I do think that the poles are ( walking sticks), real helpful. I got mine onsale at Overstock.com

Maybe a wrap on your knee or these kind of things are good.

Let us know. I am glad for you. I walk every Saturday with a friend. The other groups are far away ( so far). There is also walking groups online through Volksports. They give a patch and chart in logs. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KHALIA2 4/18/2014 6:19PM

  emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
HEYRED221 4/18/2014 6:06PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHEBBA 4/18/2014 6:01PM

    Very good - I'm going to see if we have any walking groups near us here in England.

thanks.

Report Inappropriate Comment
THOMS1 4/18/2014 6:00PM

    You go Stephnie! So happy for you! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JSEATTLE 4/18/2014 5:52PM

  Good for you to step outside the box! Sounds like a winner to me.

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEWTINK 4/18/2014 5:44PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
EMMACORY 4/18/2014 5:37PM

    emoticon I am going to check out the site you mentioned. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


There Will Always Be An Excuse To Eat...

Monday, April 14, 2014


In my previous attempts at weight loss, I always felt picking a time to "start" was so difficult. My thought process usually went something like this...

"I really need to lose this weight... I really need to start a diet."

emoticon Don't panic, the Stephanie of 2014 knows this is a lifestyle, not a diet... but the Stephanie of Past Failed Weight Loss Attempts did not. emoticon

"Okay, well I can't start tomorrow, because tomorrow is Thursday... no one starts weight loss in the middle of a week. I mean seriously, who does that? Monday sounds perfect, a shiny new week, yes that will be the day I start. Oh but wait, I am going out to dinner with my family on Wednesday, and I can't possibly stick to my diet when I go out to eat, so it should be after that. I guess that means a week from Monday. Yes, a week from Monday will be fabulous. But wait, I leave for Vegas to visit my Gammie two weeks after that, and there is no way for me to stay on track in Vegas. So maybe I will just wait until I get back from Vegas to get started. So it's official, I will start 4 Monday's from now." emoticon

As you can imagine, there became many new reasons not to start, it was always something. But were they really reasons? No, they were excuses. Oops. Don't get me wrong, I had a lot of starts, and I might get off to a strong start for a week or two and give up. Every once in a while I'd get the ball rolling and make it 3 months or so before throwing in the towel. But that mentality really got me into trouble and prevented me from successfully losing weight for many years.

I am experiencing that "excuse to eat syndrome" this week as well. This week is Dispatcher's Week, and it is a lot of fun! We have different theme days where we get to wear free dress (Monday is Hawaiian day) and we get to play little games, but in addition to that there is food. There is an assigned food for each day (Monday is chili dogs), and that is not counting all the extra treats that others bring in. There is a huge container of candy that I have to walk by like 15 times a day, and on Saturday I dipped into it one too many times. For Sunday I am staying strong, and going candy free. I also devised a plan... I will not participate in the root beer floats Sunday (done), chili dogs Monday, and nachos on Tuesday. I am off Wed-Fri and if I stick to my plan, I will participate in pizza on Saturday which is the last day, which I will track and eat no more than 2 pieces. That way I can feel like I participated some, but didn't let it lead to an entire week off track. :)

It can be so hard to control yourself when you have an unhealthy relationship with food. It is no secret that I am an emotional eater, and I can sure eat a lot lol. Pair that with the fact that EVERYONE else is eating these things around me, and it's free, and it's a celebration, and it really makes it harder to resist. In previous years, I would use this week as an all out free week to just eat whatever I wanted. I mean it was only once a year right? Okay so Dispatcher's Week is only one week out of the year, but what about all the other holidays? What about all the birthdays? All the times people bring in donuts, cookies, cupcakes for no reason other than the fact they like to feed people.

This happens on a daily basis. Maybe not the baked goods, but since we aren't allowed to leave work for lunch, one person goes on a "chow run" each night, and brings back food for everyone who has ordered. They go to many delicious places, and that is a daily battle to stick to eating what I brought. Even now, I hear the clinking of the candy jar being opened and it makes me want one, but I am trying to stand strong ha ha. Luckily, the candy jar should be gone in another day or so, since that candy is getting gobbled up at a pretty steady pace. emoticon

My point in all of this, is that there will always be an excuse to eat. There will always be a birthday, anniversary, party, Taco Tuesday, pizza on Friday, girls night out, dinner out with family, vacation, etc. The list goes on and on. The thing that we all have to learn is balance and that is something I struggle with but continue to work on. We can use all these excuses to postpone our success, but in the end we are only hurting ourselves. I wasted a lot of years postponing this, and I don't want to see anyone do the same. We can go out to dinner sometimes, eat off plan sometimes, we don't have to avoid everyone who wants to go out to dinner with us. emoticon We just need to have that balance and have a plan in place so we can enjoy a donut or dinners out without letting it completely derail us. So if you are waiting for the perfect time to get started or to get back on track, do it now. There will always be excuses to eat, but you can overcome them! emoticon emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KATESCAPE 4/24/2014 6:15PM

    Excellent blog. Thank you~

Report Inappropriate Comment
PIGGYWAY 4/20/2014 7:56PM

  emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KIM22211 4/17/2014 4:48AM

    been there done that yesterday! mini binge so I thought well I might as well have some ice cream I blew it already

Report Inappropriate Comment
WHITNEYLD 4/16/2014 9:02AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SLLYONS51 4/15/2014 5:55PM

  Thanks Steph I really needed to read this today as I refresh my journey. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
WENDYANNE61 4/15/2014 3:24PM

    Oh, oh, I hear you! I am having one of those weeks too - temptation in every direction I look and Easter (think choc bunnies etc.) looming ahead! I have just made a plan to allow for a small pizza on Friday night and some chocolate (dark and expensive!) for Sunday - the other days are 1400 calories max! Hope you have a lot of fun with your collegues this week! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LADYJAJA 4/15/2014 2:38PM

  Hey....I've had that same talk to myself!!! Very well said.......seems the hardest part is just getting started! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SLIMMINGSHAY 4/15/2014 1:50PM

    So true and purely awesome!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NIKKICOLE83 4/15/2014 11:59AM

    You are so very right girl. I know that if I start anything on a Monday that I will be over it by Wednesday. Lossing weight and living a healthy lifestyle is hard because food is everywhere and we need it to survive. HOWEVER, we do not need emoticon emoticon emoticon to survive!

Report Inappropriate Comment
FLMOMX2 4/15/2014 11:36AM

    great encouragement emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
EVER-HOPEFUL 4/15/2014 8:44AM

    that is the beauty of time being in minutes and seconds.we can always change the direction of our life.this minute infact in this next second can you turn your life around with the very next choice you make.isnīt that an awesome and powerful thought steph love.we can change our life round this very second.SECOND emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JADED_CHICK19 4/15/2014 7:16AM

    Great blog and so true!! Eating is socially acceptable..until you get fat..then you need to lose weight per society. But it's a vicious cycle. I have a bad relationship with food as well and these types of things are SO hard to battle but you're right we can do it! Keep up the great work and avoid those nachos today!

Report Inappropriate Comment
WEBEZE 4/15/2014 2:12AM

    Well said. I hear this so many times from co-workers who want to lose. Oh but I have ... and will start after. Needless to say they never start.

Report Inappropriate Comment
1CRAZYDOG 4/14/2014 9:05PM

  emoticon and emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
RAINBOWMF 4/14/2014 8:26PM

    Good advice, emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LAILATN 4/14/2014 7:51PM

    emoticon

You're right! we've got to learn how to find a bit of balance with all the celebrations and fun times in life - great post.



Report Inappropriate Comment
SMILINGEYES2 4/14/2014 7:48PM

    Excellent advise. If it is going to happen we must make it so.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEBADEAU 4/14/2014 7:37PM

    Amen to that sister! As that old adage states "tomorrow never comes!" We have to take control when the moment strikes us :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRUNKJUNK 4/14/2014 6:26PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
AMARILYNH 4/14/2014 2:34PM

    Been there - done that!! It is so freeing when we realize this is a lifelong journey and we CAN say no to food pushers if that is what we choose to do!! Add to that a little moderation and you have a PLAN!! You can do it - you've already proven that!! emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 4/14/2014 8:25:05 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHERIJ16 4/14/2014 12:59PM

    emoticon You hit the nail right on the head! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SIMONEKP 4/14/2014 12:56PM

    Well said Steph

Report Inappropriate Comment
GRLTAZ 4/14/2014 11:55AM

    If I worked where you do, I would probably bring in healthier versions of the foods being served. It would be so helpful to know the menu ahead. I would not have a candy jar near where I work because that is a severe weakness for me. I would try to workout before work if possible. I think you are doing wonderful and this is just my opinion of how I would probably plan to handle this type of week at work. Take what you like and leave the rest. Keep sparking.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MTN_KITTEN 4/14/2014 11:49AM

    We never start over ... if we don't give up. Keep on truckn'

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUSIEMT 4/14/2014 11:20AM

    Balance is a good thing! Keep up the good work Stephanie!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JENRAQTAY87 4/14/2014 10:47AM

    How do you keep reading my mind?

Report Inappropriate Comment
BARBARAJ73 4/14/2014 10:32AM

    Sooooo true!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PIGGYWAY 4/14/2014 10:27AM

  emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LINDAK25 4/14/2014 10:25AM

    Great approach! Keep your balance and track.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHRISTINATODAY 4/14/2014 10:23AM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUNNYSIDEUPMARY 4/14/2014 10:04AM

    Thank you - this is inspirational! :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
WORKNPROGRESS49 4/14/2014 9:48AM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BRENDA_G50 4/14/2014 9:45AM

    I loved the "no excuses" cat and the "You can have Results or Excuses not both". I think there's not an excuse out there that I haven't used to be able to eat whatever I wanted. Thanks for the eye-opener emoticon and for sharing your thoughts with us so we can identify our "stinkin' thinkin'" and get back on our road to success.

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ADVENTURESEEKER 4/14/2014 9:43AM

    Yes! So many excuses. We will never get away from these 'special events that only come around once a year', but there are always so many special events that they litter the calendar! Best to find a way through them. I'm still working on how to make it through. Christmas ended up being about 2 weeks of epic failure in the eating department, so I still have so many kinks to work out! Stay strong.

Report Inappropriate Comment
FUNLOVEN 4/14/2014 9:30AM

    I can oh so relate to this blog. I always seem to have something going on in my life and it makes that balancing very difficult. I have not given up though and I dream for the day when it all becomes second nature to me just like it has for some others here on SP!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GODZDESIGN95 4/14/2014 9:13AM

    Awesome always................ emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KANOE10 4/14/2014 8:30AM

    I love you can have results or excuses, but not both. Too true. We have the same thing at my job..We have appreciation weeks where everyday is food theme day and culminates wtih a feast. I generally avoid the food.

You are right..there is always a celebration or event to use as an excuse. This is a lifestyle change and it goes with you..whenever and where ever you are.
Good for you finding a moderate solution to enjoy your week.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JOHNSONTREE 4/14/2014 8:18AM

  Thank you for the post. I always say I will start on Monday. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BARBARAROSE54 4/14/2014 8:12AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUNNYBEACHGIRL 4/14/2014 7:50AM

    Described my emotional struggle with food

Report Inappropriate Comment
SNOOPYLINKOS 4/14/2014 7:45AM

    emoticon emoticon Great thoughts. Being conscious of these thoughts is part of all our battles with weight (and life!). Thanks for the reminders.

Report Inappropriate Comment
NANCYTUNBERG64 4/14/2014 7:32AM

    Stay strong Steph. Remember each thing you eat is a choice Make it a conscious one.

Good luck!! I know you can do it!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BESSHAILE 4/14/2014 7:19AM

    Oh la. How you sing my song!

I can think of a thousand mornings when I stood in the shower and said "Today is the day I start" only to put it off another for one more day. sigh.

It was when I quit thinking of it as something to start - which means to eventually stop - that I began to get a handle on things. A handle from which my grip sometimes slips too - but most of the time I focus on getting the nutrition I need first. Indulging later. One trick I use now, especially for those EVENTS that seem to pop up everywhere - is to think of the nutritional value of the candy, the cupcake, the pizza - BEFORE I put my body in the place of temptation. Before I go to work I imagine the emptiness of the candy on the lunch room table. Before I walk into the restaurant - even if I don't know what's on the menu - I imagine the best nutrition I can purchase there and try to select that. This way, even if I'm I do decide to have a bite of the birthday cake or whatever - I can have only a bite.

of course - all this is only sometimes - but sometimes is always better than no times.

LOL I am glad, though, that your work place is giving you a week of laughter. Hope it's a good one. Track the junk you eat and you may find you eat less junk.

loveya
meanit


Report Inappropriate Comment
RUBYSNANA 4/14/2014 7:05AM

    emoticon I've used them all! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CM_GARDNER78 4/14/2014 6:47AM

    Are you recording my brain?! emoticon Seriously though, great blog! And totally spot on!! You've got the plan spot on.....have a good week, and Happy Dispatcher's Week! :-)

Report Inappropriate Comment
ZELLAZM 4/14/2014 6:33AM

    No time like the present! Good reminder!

Report Inappropriate Comment
WATERDIAMONDS 4/14/2014 6:25AM

    You are wise to realize these kinds of situations will always come up and they can be difficult indeed. But you have a plan, and that is what counts.

Best of success with the rest of Dispatcher week!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARYBETH4884 4/14/2014 6:03AM

    Great plan for dispatcher's week!! You have the determination to follow through!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NANCYPAT1 4/14/2014 5:54AM

    Lots of great information

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUNSH9NAJ 4/14/2014 5:06AM

  Hello,
Very well said.. I often find myself doing this.
emoticon emoticon emoticon
Lets emoticon


Report Inappropriate Comment


Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

The Dreaded "I don't care!" Attitude...

Thursday, April 10, 2014



I have noticed over the past 6 months, I have had many times where I tell myself "I don't care" when I am doing something I know I shouldn't. The biggest example of that is overeating. I will physically tell myself "I don't care" as I find myself in the kitchen preparing to eat things just for the sake of eating. I will tell myself I'm not going to weigh my portions or track any of my food because I simply "don't care". But what I am realizing is that if I TRULY didn't care, I wouldn't be trying to convince myself I didn't care.

Okay was that hard to follow? emoticon What I mean is, when people truly don't care at all about something, they don't even think about it. It is not something that is on their mind at all. But repeatedly having to tell myself I didn't care ended up proving just the opposite. Do you know what happens after I overeat? Not only do I feel bloated emoticon and uncomfortable, but I end up tracking my food. I do it every single time! Even though I don't have the portion sizes exact since I "didn't care to weigh things", I usually over estimate to compensate for that. Then I end up feeling bad and annoyed with myself that I ate just for the sake of eating, and not because I was actually hungry.

I used to do this with the scale years ago. The scale would keep going up and I would say I didn't care. I really did, and seeing the number keep creeping up started to scare me for a while. But eventually, I really decided I didn't care. I accepted the fact that I would always be fat, and I never got on the scale anymore because I was sincere in not wanting to deal with anything concerning weight or weight loss. I ate fast food constantly, I never knew how many calories were in my food and I didn't care to know. I never exercised and I didn't drink much water either, I was in a total bubble of ignorance and denial and nothing was going to shake me out of it.



So as I was overeating this weekend and doing my best to convince myself I didn't care about my healthy weight loss journey and just wanted to eat, I realized I care more than I ever realized.

If I didn't care I wouldn't still be on this weight loss journey 2 years later. I wouldn't feel the need to track all my food, even when I told myself I didn't have to worry about it. I wouldn't be logging into Spark people daily, connecting with Spark friends and participating in challenges. If I didn't care I wouldn't ever think twice about calories, or fitness minutes and I would never get on the scale. I do care, and I care a lot. So I need to stop kidding myself just because I want to justify my eating.

Feeling out of control this weekend really started to scare me and make me second guess things. I have reevaluated things, I have refocused my energy, and I have decided which battles are worth fighting right now and which ones can be left on the back burner. Feeling in control is such a better feeling, and I am going to hang onto that for as long as physically possible. emoticon

In bonus news, I got on the scale Wednesday morning and I only had a .2 pound gain. At one point during the weekend I was facing a 5 pound gain because of my overeating, and I am so proud of the fact that I turned it around. It was the final weigh in for BLC 24 and I have lost 14.4 pounds during the 12 week challenge. I am very proud of that, and it just reiterates the fact that I really do care! emoticon


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1DERLAND14 4/19/2014 8:13PM

    I think we've all been there!! Great job on recognizing it and jumping back in there!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHB0153 4/17/2014 11:43AM

    I too am dealing with the I DON'T CARE'S. I feel like I am in a deep hole and I can't get , my desire or "I DO CARE ABOUT ME" going again. But I still come to Spark People everyday hoping to find that switch that will somehow kick me, and I will get over these feelings. I AM STILL TRYING.

Report Inappropriate Comment
GLMOM2 4/16/2014 10:56PM

    emoticon weight loss in BLC24!

emoticon blog!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
COOKINGSTARS 4/14/2014 4:35PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PIGGYWAY 4/14/2014 10:28AM

  emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BOXER-MOM 4/13/2014 11:47PM

    YES...YES YES YES YES YES! THIS!!
I live this all too often I live this


Report Inappropriate Comment
EJB2801 4/13/2014 9:35PM

    I've definitely felt that way before. You've expressed this so well. And your kitty photos definitely add charm! I think it'll be easier to remember what you said about caring when thinking of Catt Butler's poster.

Report Inappropriate Comment
RAINBOWMF 4/13/2014 9:04PM

    great blog emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BEATLETOT 4/13/2014 8:48PM

    You are so awesome!!! I love your blogs, but I never have friended you so I can keep 'em coming to me quicker...I will now!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LOLAJO54 4/13/2014 7:45PM

    wow didn't know you were writing a blog about me!! ---
jk--but you hit the nail on the head

thank you for a great wake up yell

emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DAWNDMOORE40 4/13/2014 12:39PM

    emoticon Good for you! I am glad you realized that you do care! We all have moments that we "throw in the towel" so to speak, but you got back up and got back on track! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
I_AM_COLLEEN 4/13/2014 12:09PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CUDDLYPOLARBEAR 4/13/2014 11:47AM

    well said

Report Inappropriate Comment
CARRIELYN56 4/13/2014 7:49AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TENNISJIM 4/13/2014 5:23AM

    Cool.

Report Inappropriate Comment
WRITERWANNAB 4/13/2014 1:14AM

    Another great one! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUPERDAD55 4/12/2014 11:23PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GOOSIEMOON 4/12/2014 8:34PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JUNEAU2010 4/12/2014 8:28PM

    I totally know what you mean about "I don't care". Right there now...

Report Inappropriate Comment
PJB145 4/12/2014 8:02PM

    We care, we just don't WANT to care. Been there, done that, will probably do it again. But you said it yourself, you have proved how much you care by continuing the journey.

I know you have what it takes to get back on track. I know you can, because you proved you care.

Good luck and continued success on your WL journey.


Report Inappropriate Comment
KELLEYAIMSHIGH 4/12/2014 6:45PM

  I was just saying the same thing to myself this morning. I lost 30 pounds and have gained back 20 of them. My belly is bloated and "I don't care!", my mood is negative and "I don't care". You're right - if I didn't care, then it wouldn't be on the radar. But I DO care. I'm so scared that I'm out of control and can't put the brakes on this thing. I am taking a deep breath. I'm having a drink of water. I walked today, for an hour and twenty minutes. I did all these things because I care so much and yet I am still fearful that it's futile and I will always be fat and out of control.
Today isn't gone yet and tomorrow is another day. I've decided that every intentional improvement in what I WOULD HAVE DONE is a victory. I drank ONE soda instead of two? Hooray! I walked AT ALL? GREAT! I didn't eat the whole box of cookies or tray of brownies? GOOD ON ME. Every intentional improvement counts.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MAMA_CD 4/12/2014 4:14PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GORDON66 4/12/2014 4:01PM

  It's all about what I like to call creative justification. Been there, done that, I've already got stains on the T-shirt.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DOILIEQUEEN 4/12/2014 3:36PM

  emoticon Love the pic of the small white kitten.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PENOWOK 4/12/2014 2:23PM

    and we all care, too!

Report Inappropriate Comment
RUNNINGYOGINIRE 4/12/2014 2:01PM

  emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PATRICIA-CR 4/12/2014 12:45PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CBRECK77 4/12/2014 12:36PM

    I LOVE your cat pictures. They make me laugh every time. emoticon Insightful blog.

Report Inappropriate Comment
GEMINICHIK 4/12/2014 12:28PM

    With you, too!

Report Inappropriate Comment
FAIRHAVENQUEEN 4/12/2014 12:07PM

    Good job! We all give in to overeating sometimes, but if we get right back on track afterwards it doesn't do much harm. Checking in every single day is so helpful for staying on track. It certainly has made all the difference for me.

Report Inappropriate Comment
TIHAITIEN 4/12/2014 10:45AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CUDDLYPOLARBEAR 4/12/2014 9:59AM

    well said

Report Inappropriate Comment
MAC4902 4/12/2014 9:03AM

    Thanks. I needed to see this after the night I just had. I got up today feeling like giving up, but something drove me to log in and pointed me to your blog. Now I'm not giving in to that "give up" voice. THANK YOU!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SNOOPYLINKOS 4/12/2014 8:48AM

    So true! One day I was yelling how "I don't care" about losing weight etc.. and my daughter asked me to please not care so loud I was disturbing her! Then she pointed out just like you said, if I didn't care, why was I fussing so? You're doing great., congrats on the weight loss for your challenge. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOIMAGGIE 4/12/2014 7:10AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
emoticon on the 14 lost.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DESERTDREAMERS 4/12/2014 6:55AM

    Well said!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BLUEJEAN99 4/12/2014 1:59AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LIVELYGIRL2 4/12/2014 1:24AM

  That is a good blog.

Yah, we care about the results. Something we want to eat junkie or too much. Maybe it's a good thing we feel crummy or we'd go to the point of no return.

This is one reason I think we have to have treats or breaks sometimes, or one might not to binge. It depends if we can handle doing this or not. I think when we are to restrictive this happens. But some items seem to be too addictive. Remember the commerial about daring us to eat just one such and such chip...

Allt his takes practice, perspective, balance,a nd considering what really works... emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CORNERKICK 4/12/2014 1:20AM

  emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JAMER123 4/11/2014 11:30PM

    Great blog. There are days that I don't care BUT I always do my Sparks points and track everything so I really do care and get back on track!
emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SJKENT1 4/11/2014 11:06PM

    Battle for the mind and for health - thanks!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SCOUTMOM715 4/11/2014 10:57PM

    I love this blog! i was actually having an "i don't care" moment today, but these words from your blog are what I needed. " I wouldn't feel the need to track all my food, even when I told myself I didn't have to worry about it. I wouldn't be logging into Spark people daily, connecting with Spark friends and participating in challenges. If I didn't care I wouldn't ever think twice about calories, or fitness minutes and I would never get on the scale. I do care, and I care a lot". emoticon

Congrats on your 14+ lb loss emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ROCKYCPA 4/11/2014 10:22PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
EILEEN828 4/11/2014 8:48PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MIMIDOT 4/11/2014 7:17PM

    Great blog!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DIANNEMT 4/11/2014 7:09PM

    You go girl!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOMMAKNOWSBEST 4/11/2014 6:59PM

  :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEBSZOO74 4/11/2014 6:40PM

    Congratulations on losing 14.4 pounds in BLC24! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SANDYCRANE 4/11/2014 6:28PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MISSB8604 4/11/2014 5:13PM

    You are SO not alone in this, I'm currently in this RIGHT NOW.


Report Inappropriate Comment


Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

So My "Inner Brat" Had Some Valid Points...

Monday, April 07, 2014


In my last blog,, I mentioned how my inner brat was throwing a temper tantrum over the healthy changes I was making. I had been working on cutting down sodium and trying to give up diet soda. I had done well for a while, and then my inner brat started to throw a fit! You see, I had no health reasons (high blood pressure, etc.) that I had to cut these things out. It was just one of my bright ideas that it would be healthier to do those things. But my inner brat has to question everything. It's like a little kid who continuously asks you WHY and it never ends!

I had done research on diet soda (so please don't tell me any more horror stories, I've read them LOL), and read about the complications from a high sodium diet... If I had a medical reason that I had to cut down on sodium I would do it in a heartbeat, no questions asked. But when you do something on your own free will, you have to start to question why. So why cut these things out? To be healthier. Yes, but why? Well they say diet soda & too much sodium is not good for you? Why? I could go on and on and answer all the whys, but I won't bore you with the details. At the end of the day I realized why giving up the diet soda specifically (more so than the sodium) really started to mess with my mind.

I have always struggled with the all or nothing attitude. "Well I already ate a donut, I ruined the whole day! I may as well just eat EVERYTHING all day because I've blown it!" I have really come a long way and gotten away from that thinking... there are so many good sayings out there, one I like a lot is that when you get a flat tire, you don't go around slashing the other 3 tires. So I have come a long way in terms of turning that negative way of thinking around.

The other reason it messed with my mind, is because I have not given up anything on my healthy journey the past 2 years. If I wanted to eat something, I found a way to have it, to track it, and to arrange my day to stay in my calorie range. Sometimes I couldn't have it the day I wanted it, but I could have it another day and that was good enough for me. Was I perfect all the time? Heck no, but knowing that nothing was off limits made me happy. Down the road I did realize there are one or two trigger foods that I can't control myself around, so I try to avoid those. I don't put them off limits though, or else I would just want it that much more. So I think trying to give up something really set me off.

When I can't have something, it highlights it in my mind. If you tell me I can have a donut, I may or may not have one. But if you tell me I can't have one, I am going to find a way to sneak one and I won't stop thinking about it until I do. That may be childish, but hey, at least I'm honest. emoticon At first it was very motivating and liberating to count each day that I didn't have diet soda. Having a streak for it was fabulous, it kept me motivated to keep letting those days tick up and I felt better and better as the days went by. Then a bomb went off in my mind and I just had to have a soda and I did, on Friday night. I had one can, I almost went for a second can but I thought "nah". We are now going into Monday and I haven't had another. I think between saying it was off limits and between thinking of it daily to calculate how many days I had been soda free was making things worse. I was thinking about soda everyday because I was keeping track. Whereas if I wasn't keeping track of how many days, I may not have thought about soda at all on some of those days.

Who would of thought that my inner brat might have had a point in all of this? I thought my inner brat was telling me to drink a 2 liter and to eat all the sodium I could get my grubby little paws on. But that isn't what my inner brat was saying at all. All my inner brat was trying to say is that things don't have to be all or nothing, and things can never perfect. I can't ALWAYS be perfectly in my calorie range and sodium range. That's just not how it works. I can't always be strong enough to resist having a diet soda. But you know what? Having a diet soda once in a while doesn't make me a failure. Eating waaaaaaaaaaay too much sodium in a day doesn't make me a bad person. It happens, I'm human, and I am going to make mistakes. I am going to have days (like Friday & Sunday unfortunately) where I eat everything in sight. Does that mean that I have given up on myself and my journey? Not at all. This is all about progress, not perfection. So me thinking I was going to be perfect for my sodium and giving up something I truly enjoy for the foreseeable future was a tall order, and I am not ashamed to say that I couldn't do it.

The good news is, I have learned that I don't NEED diet soda, I will survive without it. In fact I can go many days without it and then practice the art of moderation and have an occasional one. I learned that I can keep an eye on my sodium, I can make conscious choices to cut down in certain areas, but if at the end of the day I go over once in a while, it is not the end of the world. I am human, I make mistakes, and there are many more mistakes left to make.

I was at a point in my journey where I thought I could "fine tune" things and really go for healthy changes on a smaller scale. But the truth of the matter is, I have bigger fish to try. I still battle emotional eating/binge eating, self sabotage, and the lazy elf that lives in my mind that wants me to sit on the couch all day everyday. So maybe now was not the time to be trying to squash these smaller things, and I need to spend more energy fighting the bigger fights. Maybe there will be a day where I consistently have my sodium under control, and maybe there will be a day where I can leave diet soda behind for good, but that day is not today, and for now, I am not going to worry about it.

Thanks again to everyone for all the advice and for really allowing me to think. I am getting back to basics and what has worked for me my entire 2 years: Everything in moderation (cliche, I know ;)), counting calories (staying in range) and walking daily. I have a few bad days under my belt, but what's done is done and I can't beat myself up over it. I will move forward and what better day for a fresh start than on a shiny new Monday? emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARRIELYN56 4/14/2014 6:19AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEWLITTLE1 4/11/2014 3:48PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PIGGYWAY 4/10/2014 7:50AM

  emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHERYLP461 4/10/2014 7:23AM

    fantastic

Report Inappropriate Comment
WENDYANNE61 4/10/2014 2:15AM

    Brave girl! Thanks for explaining your reactions to the "all or nothing" problem - I think a similar chain of thought has messed up many a well-laid plan! Hereīs to moderation and imperfection!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KIM22211 4/9/2014 8:53PM

    you are my clone. I know that is scary but its true. sorry. accept it. it is what it is! too many times I have fallen into the all or nothing and always I have been the type if you say I can't by gawd I will! ugh!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SNOWYOGA 4/9/2014 2:50PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ELSAT137 4/9/2014 9:44AM

    Thanks so much for this! I think you were in my brain. I struggle with this a ton. If I say I can't have it, it is all I think about. All or nothing is a struggle for me too. I really have to learn moderation. I really appreciate your blogs and love reading them! You are doing awesome and are such an inspiration!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BLUEJEAN99 4/9/2014 9:36AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JENRAQTAY87 4/9/2014 8:30AM

    It's almost like you end each month with Lent, you see what you can give up (or control) and really challenge yourself. At least you know you don't need it, you just like it. There's a huge difference in that.

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEWTINK 4/9/2014 5:14AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEBSZOO74 4/9/2014 2:01AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CORNERKICK 4/9/2014 1:52AM

  emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CLAYARTIST 4/8/2014 10:36PM

  emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SJKENT1 4/8/2014 10:34PM

    good luck

Report Inappropriate Comment
ROCKYCPA 4/8/2014 10:21PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JSEATTLE 4/8/2014 8:54PM

  You really worked out some good stuff!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LIVELYGIRL2 4/8/2014 5:36PM

  You really thought this out well. You have some good points and helped us think of how we reach these choices and decisions.

Ok, so eating chips, soda, and sugar is probably not as good for any of us, but hard to do forever. I mean its evertywhere.

My friend buys Zevia, which she claims is good but coast more. I like certain baked chips and pita ones. I do think when we get a quality variety, sometimes we want less.

We want a treat sometime. But how often do we need/ want a treat? If it is ocasional than fine, unles we get addicted to something.

My husband has changed from coffee to a tea, because of his stomach and sleep patterns.

If it is forbidden, it's easier to obsess about it.

However, it maight be alright to do this for a certain reasonable amount of time, to get our stats to move.

In my opinion, if they aren't a trigger of no return, to feel out of control and binge. than perhaps they are not off limit. But after this amount of time, some of us, can have a measured amount or predermined amount and not go back for more and more mini servings. I have gone to eat some small amount of these foods, and then measured out too many helpings. Now if this is here and there... no big deal: but if a set pattern... well trouble.

If I want to eat something of this nature: I eat less for the other meals or do a little exercise in the next day or two.

I think you have good common sense. We can always adapt or modify our point of view, depending out it works out in real life. emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JAYDEE1211 4/8/2014 5:04PM

    Love it! A fantastic discovery of yourself.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JIBBIE49 4/8/2014 4:59PM

    Hugs

Report Inappropriate Comment
NONNAOF2 4/8/2014 3:13PM

  I know how hard you are working from day to day in keeping within your limits. You are working through your cravings, don't give up, just be sure to learn to relax a little while on your journey and not be so hard with yourself.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JERICHO1991 4/8/2014 3:01PM

    Thanks for sharing.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PATRICIAANN46 4/8/2014 10:42AM

  emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEPTUNE1939 4/8/2014 10:38AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BLPRETTYGIRL1 4/8/2014 10:25AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SCRAPBECCA 4/8/2014 10:12AM

    Love being on this journey with you & truly appreciate your shares! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHOAPIE 4/8/2014 10:10AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LCRUMLEY81 4/8/2014 9:53AM

  Thank you for the post

Report Inappropriate Comment
DJSHIP46 4/8/2014 9:40AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GOOSIEMOON 4/8/2014 9:09AM

    So. Much. Wisdom. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DIANNEMT 4/8/2014 8:52AM

    You should always do whatever works for YOU!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
IDICEM 4/8/2014 8:45AM

  Love the "inner brat"!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MIMIDOT 4/8/2014 8:29AM

    Lesson well learned. Thanks for sharing.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CFMOSS 4/8/2014 7:29AM

    Who would have thought the inner brat had some validity -sort of like the boy who cried wolf - I particularly liked what you said most of the way through the blog about not needing the diet soda and going for weeks without and then....moderation. That's pretty much where I'm at - moderation especially in the tempting overdo stuff. Good eats today.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PENOWOK 4/8/2014 7:01AM

    Wise beyond your years, my young friend!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHERYLHURT 4/8/2014 7:01AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHARON7464 4/8/2014 6:46AM

    It's just a matter of pressing the restart button! Good for you Stephanie! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRYINGHARD54 4/8/2014 5:45AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
1CRAZYDOG 4/7/2014 9:12PM

  Awesome and well said!

Report Inappropriate Comment
COASTAL6 4/7/2014 8:46PM

    WOW!
That was a lot to read, but it was worth it, I go thru the same things as you.
Thank you, for being honest.
Your friend, Michelle
emoticon
emoticon
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ADVENTURESEEKER 4/7/2014 7:54PM

    Some good words here already. Good to have your head back on your shoulders, eh?! Do what works, and if we can manage it, we can try to do better. Baby steps sometimes.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEED2LOSEN2010 4/7/2014 4:46PM

    emoticon

Sunny

Report Inappropriate Comment
BARBARAJ73 4/7/2014 3:42PM

    emoticon again! I was just reading about some research on willpower. When it came to weight loss the bottom line was never go on a diet and never say never to any foods - always say "later."

My take on it was if we tell our inner brat she can have some later then she doesn't pitch a hissy fit and lead us to over-indulge. We can come back to the food in question later and calmly have some and be satisfied w/o going overboard. Think I'm going to give it a try!
emoticon

Comment edited on: 4/7/2014 3:45:00 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
POSITIVEHOPE 4/7/2014 2:46PM

    Welcome back to the path. Get comfortable deep in the rut you made so it feels safe and secure. Some of those side roads sure can give us a wild ride. Thankfully, you didn't end up in The Pit of Despair but you ended up in The Land of Why. Why do this, Why Do I have to Do this, Why can't I have it? I once met Frank Failure there and he broke my heart.
So glad you are back doing what you know works.

Report Inappropriate Comment
LYNNWANNABE 4/7/2014 2:09PM

    Emotional eating/binge eating, self sabotage, and the lazy elf are [ALL] my biggest struggles too! I do good the longer I can avoid them; however, getting back up can sure be a battle.. I liked what you said about not slashing the other 3 tires if you get a flat.

I read a blog the other day that described our boundary lines should be seen like the double yellow lines on a highway and how crossing over them puts our life in danger; it made me think of the allergies I have towards certain foods and how I get the headaches, hives, and swollen glands [why even my thyroid cysts swell up] but the minute I stop crossing the line, everything goes back to normal. I'm also striving NOT to get diabetes.. so, I've got to watch for those double yellow lines of warning when I make my homemade bread, sugars and sweets and carbs! I need to hear the inner brat say, “Danger, Will Robinson.. Danger!" emoticon (OK, are you too young to remember that show? I'm hoping reruns!) emoticon

OK, AND I have to hang onto: STOP slashing my other 3 tires.. emoticon
YES, I loved your blog today!!! emoticon


Report Inappropriate Comment
SIMONEKP 4/7/2014 1:32PM

    Do what works

Report Inappropriate Comment
GRLTAZ 4/7/2014 12:20PM

    I am so happy to see your turn around in thinking. You have come to far to give up and I am glad you did not. My inner brat is called ego or maybe I should change it to egor. Keep sparking !

Report Inappropriate Comment
KIMMYGA1 4/7/2014 11:52AM

    Thank you for this! My inner brat was out yesterday as well but I think it had assistant from Mother Nature too. Thank you for not giving up and for being ready to start new on this beautiful Monday. You rock and I appreciate your blogs! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MTN_KITTEN 4/7/2014 11:37AM

    We will get there!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUSIEMT 4/7/2014 11:32AM

    Good for you Stephanie! I also have found out what my trigger foods are and act accordingly. It is just being aware and how to control the situation. As long as it doesn't send me into a binge! Of course today I have refined my definition of a binge (for me) and it may be confined to just one meal if I overeat the item. Like you I will try my best to find a way to work it in my plan of the day or make it fit in the following day or so.
Keep up the good work Stephanie! Your blogs are thought provoking which is so good for all of us that read you!

Report Inappropriate Comment


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 Last Page