STEPH-KNEE   77,231
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Whoa Whoa Wait! November Already?!

Saturday, November 01, 2014


The last few months I have been learning a lot about perspective. Choosing to look at things in a positive light is what has prevented me from giving up! Now I don't mean that we should sugar coat things, and bury our head in the sand when things aren't going well. That just creates even more problems, and that is how we can let a 5 pound gain spiral into a 50 pound gain. But I am talking about finding the positive in things, all while working on the things that aren't quite working.

I wrote a blog in December of 2013, and I said that I wanted to get to my goal of 160 pounds this year. Not only did I want to hit that goal, I wanted to be a little bit under so that I could have a little bit of a cushion going into the holiday season... as that is the roughest time for me to stay on track. Well it's no secret that hasn't happened... not even close actually!

When I wrote that blog at the end of December, I weighed 199.2 pounds. I had been lower than that, but with all the holiday madness I put on about 10 pounds. I am sitting here writing this at 184 pounds... which is obviously nowhere near 160. Would I prefer to be sitting here at goal weight? I can't lie, I think that would be amazing... but it was not my time.

I am really good about taking accountability for my actions, and my progress (or lack thereof). I will never make an excuse about how someone or something prevented me from losing weight. The answer to why I gained weight or didn't lose is always the same... because of MY choices. I know exactly what happened this past year. For starters, I was burnt out... March 2014 was 2 years on this journey, and that is a long time to be dealing with weight loss, tracking calories, getting healthier etc. I have to admit, I had some bouts of lazy off and on throughout the year... I just didn't put the effort in that I should have.

But some really great things had happened as well. I got my confidence back. I may not be at goal weight, but that doesn't mean that I can't be proud of where I'm at! I feel better than ever, I look better than I ever have... I am the smallest I have been in OVER 10 years. That is a lot to be proud of. I have gotten out more and really enjoyed life to the fullest. I have been to concerts, the zoo, Disneyland, Knott's... I have walked miles and miles without my knees killing me! I have not felt self conscious when I'm out in public, and I've been brave enough to venture out on my own... something I would have never done at my highest weight!

I've learned to be happy. I have learned that our weight doesn't define us, our weight should have no ties to our self esteem/self confidence and that we don't get take-sies back-sies in life. I don't get to go back to age 18 and do it all again. All those opportunities, all those times I chose to stay home and avoid certain situations... those are all gone. I can't get those back. But what I can do is learn from that, and take what I know now and use it to my advantage! I feel more like myself... I feel stronger and better than ever! I know that deep down I was always a fun girl, who wanted to go out and have a good time, who was funny (I have my moments emoticon), caring and sweet. But I chose to let my weight hold me back. I could have been living life to the best of my ability at 272 pounds, but I chose not to. With that said, I will say there would have been certain physical limitations... at 272 pounds you can not fit into all the rides at Disneyland, and I certainly could not have walked 10 miles. But I also didn't have to take it to the extreme and sit on the sidelines of life for so long!

So did I waste most of the year maintaining and yo yoing the same 5-15 pounds? I could just to look at it that way, but I am choosing to look at the positives. I have not gained my weight back... I have kept off 80 pounds. I reached the 90 pounds lost mark, gained back about 12 pounds, but I am now just 3 pounds away from reclaiming that trophy. I have learned so much about myself and why I do the things I do. I know that when I see an all time low weight, I hit the panic button and start to sabotage myself. I know that despite my best efforts, the all or nothing attitude sneaks in and I can find myself turning a bad day into a horrible day. I know that despite boarding the doors shut, the Binge Monster can still pop in from time to time for a visit. I will say this though... I have gone 2 weeks without a single episode from the Binge Monster and have been in my calories each day. I am finding my groove, but I am not getting ahead of myself. I know I will mess up, because I am not perfect... but I am trying to learn to limit the damage and make the bad days fewer and farther between.

So instead of coming to you telling you how disappointed I am in myself for not reaching my goal weight... I am here to tell you that I am proud of myself for:
emoticon Not giving up!
emoticon Keeping my 80 pounds off!
emoticon Getting out and living life!
emoticon Getting my self confidence back!
emoticon Stepping out of my comfort zone, repeatedly!
emoticon For being the happiest and healthiest I've ever been!

Perspective can really change everything, so do your best to find the positives where you can... and if there aren't enough positives coming from your journey, figure out what you can tweak to do the best you can! emoticon

I am back to business, and doing my very best! My goals have not changed, and I am not settling for less. While I am feeling good, I still want to hit my goal weight of 160 (and if I can get into the 150's, I wouldn't be mad ;), learn to maintain and have my tummy fixed. That is a choice I have made for myself and know it is the best decision for me. So I just gotta keep at it, one pound at a time! emoticon



And for funsies, here's my Sparky on Halloween... to quote Karen in Mean Girls.... "I'm a mouse, duh!" emoticon


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1CRAZYDOG 11/1/2014 9:52AM

    You have GAINED a whole lot this year:

self-esteem
self-lo
ve
self-confidence
courag
e

The list goes on. YOu are awesome.

LOVE the girls' costumes!

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MARITIMER3 11/1/2014 9:39AM

    Wonderful blog, Stephanie. You definitely didn't waste the year... You learned a lot, and made yourself ready for the next part of your journey,
Congratulations!
Hug
s, Gail

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WORKNPROGRESS49 11/1/2014 9:09AM

    emoticon emoticon

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HOLLYM48 11/1/2014 9:08AM

    You are doing awesome and your journey is one that has ups and downs because you are right, you are not perfect, nor is anyone else and we have to live our lives while going through this but you are out there living it to your fullest. Keep up the great work!

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STILLMENEWBODY 11/1/2014 8:31AM

    You have worked hard and you have overcome many obstacles along the way. The joy, the confidence, the high self esteem is exuding from your beautiful face. The brightness in your eyes speaks volumes. Congratulations on your accomplishments to date and on keeping it ALL IN PERSPECTIVE! This was a wonderful blog, one of the first I read today and I am so happy I did. HAVE A WONDERFUL SATURDAY! emoticon

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KANOE10 11/1/2014 8:26AM

    You are doing great. You are staying positive and celebrating your accomplishments. Keeping those 90 pounds off is wonderful. Staying away from the binge monster for two weeks is also excellent. I know you will reach our goal.

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BEATLETOT 11/1/2014 8:14AM

    This blog makes me smile.

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AMARILYNH 11/1/2014 8:13AM

    OMG Stephanie I want to go to the powers that be at SP and tell them to feature this blog RIGHT NOW!! I want EVERY chubby teenager in the WORLD to read it - because it will give them hope - and HOPE is a powerful thing! Far from having been wasted, I think you have spent this year CHANGING your world forever. You ARE NOT EVEN CLOSE TO BEING the person you were a year ago - and you were a H/LL of a woman then! The strength you have developed this year is AMAZING!! A year ago I KNEW that you could accomplish anything you set out to do in this life - NOW I think YOU know it!!

I can't begin to tell you how happy reading this makes me - you are one
emoticon emoticon emoticon
SUPER WOMAN!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

ps - LOVE the Sparky photos - in the second one it looks like he is winking at us!!

Comment edited on: 11/1/2014 8:15:16 AM

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LOSINGIT26104 11/1/2014 7:58AM

    I believe just staying in place when the current is against you is a huge accomplishment. Being happy is the most important thing in the world so enjoy this wonderful time in your life. You deserve it.
emoticon

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FEEDTHEHUNGER 11/1/2014 7:48AM

    Good for you and great blog about the way in which progress, not perfection, really works. I am celebrating my 15 pounds lost even though by now it "should" be 45. But, I've gotten some really great health habits down pat (exercising every day, upping my activity level, sleeping at least 8 hours per night, drinking water consistently, keeping a perspective on things to lower stress). The food part has been rocky, but I am making such great choices most of the time that the derailed parts are getting smaller and less frequent. It's coming -- the natural sense of what to do each day to keep myself healthy and fit.

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BBEAGAN 11/1/2014 7:35AM

    Wonderful blog. It's quite possible it's healthier for you to take this year at a steady-ish weight before continuing to lose, anyway. Let all systems recalibrate! Then continue...

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TAMNIOWA 11/1/2014 7:33AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MISSUSRIVERRAT 11/1/2014 7:28AM

    It seems to me that you have learned so many lessons and grown so much. You are such an inspiration !

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RASPBERRY56 11/1/2014 6:53AM

    Yeah, I can't believe it's November, either! Where *did* this year go, eh?

emoticon

But seriously, now - you've accomplished so much, and it's actually quite common for folks to go through what you're experiencing in your journey (yours truly included) - so don't beat yourself up! Just know that your strong sense of positive self-awareness will get you far - and most importantly, *don't give up*!

emoticon



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THISIDO4ME 11/1/2014 6:12AM

    Congratulations! You've accomplished so much that you can be proud of.
You've put so much thought into your weightloss journey and I thank you for sharing what you have learned along the way.
Great blog! emoticon emoticon

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KIM22211 11/1/2014 6:12AM

    good for you!!! You have done amazing!

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SWEDE_SU 11/1/2014 6:03AM

    excellent, winning attitude! you should indeed be proud of yourself! emoticon emoticon

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GHOSTFLAMES 11/1/2014 6:03AM

    emoticon emoticon

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ZELLAZM 11/1/2014 6:02AM

    You said it!!!

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Size 14?!

Thursday, October 30, 2014


I had to go back and look through my blogs to see when I bought these size 14 jeans. I remember I bought a size 14 and a size 12 because at that point I was in about a 16/18. I thought it would be a good goal to have to fit into the jeans. Well, I found the date... it was November 17th! My first instinct was to look at the glass half empty, despite my best efforts to be positive. A year, an entire year, wasted?! Okay, so not wasted, maintaining, let's just say I hope I'm a champion maintainer, because I've had a ton of a practice. emoticonBut it is hard to see that all that time has passed and I haven't made much progress... or have I?

I knew I had the jeans, but never bothered trying them on. They weren't even close to fitting and I hadn't lost any significant weight since purchasing them. According to my Spark records I was 192.4 when I bought them... My "official" weigh in is Thursday afternoon when I wake up, but I am hovering right now around 185-186... not a huge change in terms of weight.

So I was up in my room, looking around trying to find something to wear to Medieval Times this coming Tuesday... needless to say I don't have very many "nice" things to wear. I refuse to buy any really nice clothing because I plan to under grow them. I have bought a lot of stuff, in terms of tshirts, and I always make sure to buy them either already snug or slightly too small so that I can have them for a long time. A tshirt you can wear when it's too big, but that doesn't work with everything. So I thought oh what the heck, why not try the size 14 jeans on and see how close I am to wearing them.

I will say these jeans were probably a little stretchy and forgiving... and my hangy stomach put up quite a fight, but I was able to put them on, and button them all while standing up. I will admit I had to lay down to get the zipper to cooperate, but it still counts! emoticon

When I started this thing, a size 14 sounded amazing... especially since I was a size 24! But now I can't help but think, with a little more work I will be a comfortable 14 (instead of a sausaged 14), and maybe after the excess skin is removed from my tummy I could even be a size 10! A size 14 was something I wanted to achieve, a size 12 was something I hoped I could do and a 10 was a dream that I didn't think I could achieve. But now I am thinking I can go for it!

At the end of the day, I am not letting a number (weight or size) define me, and that is not what this journey is about. I just wanted to look better, feel better and become healthier... and that is what I am doing. But I also think it is important to celebrate these little victories.

I bought boots way back when I bought those jeans, to wear together, and since the jeans never fit the boots have been in the box... so come this Tuesday I will get to wear them both. Here are the beautiful boots:


I don't have a picture of me and the jeans just yet, but I will for sure be taking pictures with my friend on Tuesday at Medieval Times and will be so proud to share them with you all!

emoticon The one thing I want to leave you with is this: The most important thing you can do is find the positives in your journey! If I would have just gone with my gut, I would've let the fact that a year passed really affect me and prevent me from pushing toward my goals. Instead I am choosing to look at the fact that clothes that wouldn't fit a year ago now fit (sort of LOL), and that I haven't given up. I have kept off 80 pounds. Had I not continued to try, I could have easily gained back 60 pounds in a year and be fighting that battle again. We all have our ups and downs, but I know that we can all find AT LEAST 1 thing that we are doing right and that we are proud of. If we weren't here on Spark people making an effort, we might be much heavier than we are right now. So find 1 thing to be proud of, and pat yourself on the back for it because you are emoticon emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUNETTA2002 11/1/2014 9:59AM

    Awesome Great blog

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CAROSLIMMER2 11/1/2014 9:39AM

  Good for you!

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CAROSLIMMER2 11/1/2014 9:38AM

  Good for you!

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CAROSLIMMER2 11/1/2014 9:38AM

  Good for you!

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OSDOWNS 11/1/2014 9:35AM

    Great blog!

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DONNELDA22 11/1/2014 7:59AM

    Maintaining is just as hard if not harder than losing weight. So you should be proud of what you have accomplished.
emoticon

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KYLARHONE 11/1/2014 7:26AM

    You go girl!!! Thanks for the reminder to stay positive!!!!

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BONNIEB1947 11/1/2014 7:11AM

    You are gonna ROCK those jeans and boots! Good for you! And good ON you! And yes, the strength, flexibility and better health you feel is why they FIT! Your muscle tone has changed, and muscle weighs more than fat, blah blah blah, I know you know that!
I have saved lots of $$ because the winter pants I need to buy don't have to be bought now; I am down one size so I can just wear all the ones I put away a year emoticon ago!
Yeah, I love Spark People!

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ZELLAZM 11/1/2014 5:35AM

    That little puppy made my morning! Great blog, Steph, and great progress!

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MISSA526 11/1/2014 4:59AM

    Way to go!

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BLUEJEAN99 11/1/2014 1:56AM

    emoticon

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SANDSGIRL26 10/31/2014 11:48PM

    emoticon

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ROCKYCPA 10/31/2014 11:37PM

    emoticon

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JSEATTLE 10/31/2014 11:30PM

  Wonderful news! You are going to feel so great wearing the jeans and your awesome boots. Enjoy the event and keep the energy going!

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MALAMI518 10/31/2014 9:26PM

    You ARE awesome! I am so happy that you are doing so well, and great job getting into those jeans! I love the boots! Have a great time, and I can't wait to see the pictures.

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CELEBRATELIFE 10/31/2014 8:22PM

    Congrats!

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PATRICIAANN46 10/31/2014 6:13PM

  So very emoticon !!!!! And........ emoticon on your wonderful job of maintaining and your upbeat attitude and your fantastic focus on this challenging journey.

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DAKARISAH430 10/31/2014 5:24PM

  Awesome. Congratulations on your maintenance. emoticon

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TUTUNAN 10/31/2014 5:22PM

    Yes, you're awesome!!!!

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LIVELYGIRL2 10/31/2014 4:46PM

  14 is a lot better than 24. Yes, you will be comfortable 14, instead of the sausage one. You made me giggle.

You've come a long way, and I expect emoticon that you will achieve even more,

Really I do!

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TINY67 10/31/2014 4:01PM

    emoticon emoticon

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NONNAOF2 10/31/2014 4:00PM

  You do deserve a pat on the back in keeping the weight off and getting into those size 14 pants!! One day I'll get into a 14, too! :-)

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STEVIEBEE569 10/31/2014 1:53PM

    emoticon emoticon

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LCRUMLEY81 10/31/2014 1:44PM

  Way to go

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JUSGETTENBY42 10/31/2014 12:52PM

    emoticon

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FERGSGIRL2 10/31/2014 12:16PM

    Awesome, terrific & congratulations!


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NEPTUNE1939 10/31/2014 12:09PM

    emoticon

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DIANNEMT 10/31/2014 11:48AM

    FANTASTIC!!!

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SHOAPIE 10/31/2014 11:07AM

    emoticon

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FUNLOVEN 10/31/2014 10:45AM

    You are right on with this one, Stephanie. All things big AND small matter on this journey of ours.

I too have a pair of jeans, that a friend gave me, that are waiting for me. I tried them on, but could not get them zipped. I asked if she want them back and she said "no, you hang on to them until they fit". I look at those jeans almost every day sitting there and waiting for me.

I am determined to stay positive. I am determined to succeed at losing weight. I am determined to give myself credit where credit is deserved.

YOU DESERVE CREDIT FOR ALL OF YOUR HARD WORK ! ! !

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BOB5148 10/31/2014 10:35AM

  emoticon

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LIFENPROGRESS 10/31/2014 10:23AM

    emoticon I am so happy for you!

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TRYINGHARD54 10/31/2014 10:19AM

    You are awesome. !!

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SUSIEMT 10/31/2014 10:18AM

    Great blog! haven't we all at one time or another used the bed as an assistant in getting those jeans zipped up! Oh how I remember! You have done really well Stephanie! I am proud of you! I just want you to remember that it took me about 6 months for all the swelling to go down from my excess skin removal surgery. I don't want you to be disappointed by not getting that immediate gratification we all want! Love you my dear! emoticon

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BARBARAJ73 10/31/2014 9:56AM

    emoticon Enjoy your successes!! emoticon

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JIBBIE49 10/31/2014 9:52AM

    I just had my Seventh Sparkversary and in the blog I wrote about how I've never gotten to my goal weight, but because I have stayed here, I've never been back to the horrible 214# I was when I started, and if I hadn't stayed, I'd probably be about 314# today. So I understand you completely. But, I do know now it is time for me to be completely serious and get the rest of my fat off. I bought a pair of size 14 pants at the Thrift Shop yesterday for 50 cents and they fit, as I'm 172# but I'm only 5'4" so I know we have a different shape. All my fat is in my gut and upper arms.

DO get that skin off your stomach. Take out a loan and make payments on the surgery. MAMACLOK on YouTube had a tummy tuck and breast lift for $15,500 and she has been happy for the past 3 years.
On Youtube Txstylelady went to the Dominician Republic and got it all done by Dr. Yily for $3500. She has a lot of information on her channel and how it looks a year later. I have been to the D.R. on a two week vacation and most everyone speaks English (Spanish is also spoken) and it was easy to go there. Just fly to Miami and change planes and go out there to the Island. Not difficult at all.

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CAROL3SAN 10/31/2014 9:48AM

    Congratulations and much success in maintaining. AWESOME JOB!! emoticon

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HEALTHIER-VICKI 10/31/2014 9:16AM

    You've done great my friend. emoticon to reach your goals. You're worth the effort ! emoticon

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SCRAPBECCA 10/31/2014 8:53AM

    Well done, you! Can't wait to see the pics! emoticon

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CHERYLHURT 10/31/2014 7:50AM

  emoticon

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SUEARNOLD1 10/31/2014 7:49AM

    emoticon you are on fire.

emoticon

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BESSHAILE 10/31/2014 7:39AM

    Hear that? That's me shouting hoooray for you ... all the way across America!

This is SUCH a big deal - such a triumph. Not just that the button closed or the zipper zipped. Not just because the size is smaller. But because you have lived a whole year the same way skinny people do - by choosing, making deicisions, compensating for mistakes, feeling hot, feeling doubtful, and NEVER GIVING UP!

Love those boots!

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PEGGYO 10/31/2014 7:33AM

    emoticon

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SHERYLP461 10/31/2014 7:23AM

    You are awesome! What a wonderful victory!

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KLMEIRING 10/31/2014 7:04AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SUNSHINEGB 10/31/2014 6:54AM

    Congratulations!
emoticon

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LOVENHWOODS 10/31/2014 6:53AM

    emoticon Good for you!!

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PENOWOK 10/31/2014 6:42AM

    Whoa!! You have done an amazing job of physical activity this past year!!You are tons fitter than you were a year ago, Miss Steph, so I have great faith in you!!! When you set your mind to something, you do it, even with set backs!! So hooray for the 14's and lookout 12's, here she comes!!

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TIMEHASCOME56 10/31/2014 5:39AM

    emoticon

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CURLYANNIE65 10/31/2014 5:19AM

    Good for you!!!!!!! emoticon

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Just Another Day In Paradise...

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Okay, so Knott's Scary Farm isn't exactly paradise, but it sure was a blast! emoticon It was our shortest trip yet, just about 3 hours there once the park had opened, but we had done 3 mazes right away, went Zombie Hunting early... found my monster girlfriend who I just adore, walked 6 miles, did 2 more mazes, rode in the Sky Cabin, walked through the fog several times and got to take a picture with the Headless Horseman! It is funny to think it was our shortest time there, but yet it was our best. We got to see so much, and it is hard to find the Headless Horseman, so to get a pic with him was just so awesome!

Despite my bruises and everything I wasn't in a ton of pain... so I am thankful for that. The bruises of course are worse today, worse before better right? I sure hope so. I am just so thankful it wasn't worse and that I didn't seriously injure myself.

Other than that, all is going right in the world. Some plans have changed for my vacation, but my Florida trip is coming and I am excited for that. I won't get to go head to Vegas to visit my Gammie but she will be coming down here, so I still get to visit... without all the tempting food Vegas has to offer. I have plans to go to the zoo and Disneyland 2-3 times while I'm off for a month... is it November 6th yet?! I kind of feel like Halloween has passed already since I have done so many Halloweenie things, but I look forward to cuddling with Sparky and watching some scary movies come this Friday.

But first, my Luke Bryan concert is tonight! (Sunday) I am headed there all alone and not even the least bit nervous about it! It was just last May I was panicked I might have to go to a concert alone, and now here I am CHOOSING to go alone. Life is changing, for the better, and I am enjoying every bit of it! emoticon

Here's our Zombie Hunting photos... we did it so early that I managed to get on the leaderboard, but my glory was short lived! emoticon






The Headless Horseman, so awesome!




I heart this girl, she is such a doll... nicest "monster" ever. emoticon





^"Where's the kitty?!" I was so bummed, no kitty cat this time!

This is our buddy Juan from last time, he's a hoot!



Random other adventures:












Edit: Just for funsies, here's Lukey! emoticon












  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HYATTI1 10/31/2014 12:24PM

    emoticon Sounds like you had a scream of a time.

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WHYTEBROWN 10/30/2014 10:10PM

    emoticon You've come so far!! I hope you had a emoticon time at the concert. emoticon emoticon

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MRSRIGS1 10/30/2014 8:21PM

    GREAT pics!! You look SO happy and beautiful!

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POSITIVEHOPE 10/29/2014 11:10PM

    Went to a REAL ghost town this week. There was an old hospital from 1886 that had been converted to a hotel and restaurant. Everyone was in Halloween costumes. So awesome!

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TRUNKJUNK 10/29/2014 8:28PM

    Hi Steph

You look emoticon

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REBESANCON 10/29/2014 11:13AM

    What a fun adventure you had!

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SEDONACAT 10/29/2014 6:30AM

    Thank you for sharing. I enjoyed your pics!

emoticon

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SEATTLE58 10/28/2014 10:43PM

    I love all your photos. They help us to see alot of what you did and how much fun you had. emoticon I'd love to have been there too. What a blast you had! emoticon emoticon

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LUVTOBOWL 10/28/2014 9:26PM

    Looks like you had a blast at both events. Good for you!

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MALAMI518 10/28/2014 9:24PM

    Great photos! It looks like you are having so much fun!

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KLONG8 10/28/2014 8:19PM

    Glad you had a blast!

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JAB2010 10/28/2014 7:49PM

    emoticon

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BROWNSUGAR3030 10/28/2014 5:46PM

  What did you do to get put in jail?! LOL It looks like a blast!

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SHKIRK 10/28/2014 2:22PM

  Looks like GREAT fun. Luke is cute ain't he !( Ha-Ha)

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CORNERKICK 10/28/2014 12:02PM

  emoticon

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GRACED777 10/28/2014 11:17AM

    You look so good! I can't picture Knotts Berry Farm, as the last time I was there was when we lived 6 miles from there from 1962-1966. I remember the old west ghost town and sasparilla (an old days drink). We had fun there before it became an amusement park! Have a good day, friend! Thanks for sharing with us!

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MOMMY445 10/28/2014 10:57AM

    glad to hear that you had a great time! have a terrific day!

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SCULLY722 10/28/2014 10:50AM

    Love to see someone having a great time at one of our parks (I work for the corporate office of Cedar Fair) :) I have yet to visit Knott's but plan to in the next 6 months or so. I'm based in Cincinnati at Knott's sister park, Kings Island. We are heading to KI's Halloween Haunt on Saturday night. Should be a lot of fun!!

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QUAIL75 10/28/2014 10:40AM

    emoticon

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BIGDOG18 10/28/2014 7:31AM

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BIGDOG18 10/28/2014 7:31AM

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JEB03253 10/28/2014 7:14AM

    Looks like a fun place to visit!

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MAWMAW101 10/28/2014 6:12AM

    emoticon emoticon

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123ELAINE456 10/28/2014 4:31AM

  Awesome!!! Sounds like a Wonderful Fun-Filled Vacation. Beautiful Photos. WTG!!! God Blessings Always. Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Ta
ke Good Care Of Yourself. And Stay Healthy.

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SUPERSYLPH 10/28/2014 3:59AM

    That's awesome! I need to find a job where I get more than 5 days of paid vacation!

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AKPIPER 10/28/2014 3:56AM

    emoticon for sharing your adventure! emoticon pics. and your looking great as well emoticon

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NYARAMULA 10/28/2014 3:35AM

    Looks like you had a blast. Thanks for sharing your adventure.

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CATNURSE1 10/28/2014 3:15AM

    Wow -- you sure looked like you were having a lot of fun! I went to Knott's all the time when it was "normal". I actually liked it better than Disneyland (don't tell anyone!). I went to Knott's Scary Farm only once when I was in high school -- 1981 to be exact because it was on a Saturday. The only stipulation was that I had to be able to get up in the morning to go to church.. Elvira was a big thing. She was spectacular and one of my favorites. I always hit the candy store on the way out and had a raging stomach ache when I got home (when I lived in San Diego County), but every year, I would do the same thing. And didn't regret it.

Waiting for the next chapter!

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BLUEJEAN99 10/28/2014 1:57AM

    emoticon

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JSEATTLE 10/28/2014 1:25AM

  Thank you for sharing your fun times! I'm glad you have more adventures lined up, so I'm looking forward to the next report of FUN!

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DIAMOND102 10/28/2014 12:39AM

    WOW!!! You really had a wonderful time. I like your pictures you were getting around "getting your walking in"and enjoying it. emoticon

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GWINNER1 10/27/2014 11:50PM

    Looks like lots of fun....glad you had a great time!

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MAYBER 10/27/2014 11:37PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ROCKYCPA 10/27/2014 11:12PM

    Thanks for sharing!

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JIBBIE49 10/27/2014 11:10PM

    Oh, we lived in Los Alamitos and I loved going to KnoxBerry farm. So much fun.

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DEBSZOO74 10/27/2014 10:41PM

    It looks like so much fun!!! emoticon

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SUGAR0814 10/27/2014 10:15PM

    Great pictures! Seems as though you had a great time! Thank you for sharing! emoticon emoticon

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CHRISTINEBWD 10/27/2014 9:45PM

    That looked like a whole lot of fun! :)

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AMBER461 10/27/2014 9:04PM

  Thanks for sharing.

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KHALIA2 10/27/2014 8:07PM

  emoticon

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SUNSET09 10/27/2014 6:52PM

  Walked six miles and had fun doing it! emoticon emoticon and emoticon emoticon emoticon Oh, emoticon The "holiday" is upon us!

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SUSIEMT 10/27/2014 5:41PM

    You look great Stephanie! It looks like you had a great time!

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THEVOW2013 10/27/2014 5:17PM

    you look great!

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SLLYONS51 10/27/2014 4:39PM

  Looked like a great time! Lucky you emoticon

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NONNAOF2 10/27/2014 3:49PM

  How nice that you were able to have a lot of fun with more fun and memories on the way! I wish I neared near there to go, too! :-) It sounds like you got your exercise in while there, for sure!!

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JADED_CHICK19 10/27/2014 2:50PM

    So jealous you got to see Luke Bryan...He is so amazing *sigh*

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LINDAK25 10/27/2014 1:30PM

    Wow! Great fun! Good for you. Looks like you're all ready for that concert.

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Okie Dokie, Let's Spill The Beans!

Friday, October 24, 2014

So I mentioned before that I was quite embarrassed because I felt like I was always coming up with these new ideas and plans, getting super excited about it, telling all of you, and then finding out it wasn't for me a few short days or a week later. You were all so supportive (as always), and said that there was nothing to be embarrassed about. I am just trying to figure out how to lose the rest of this weight... and while I wanted to stick to what has got me this far (calorie counting/portions/healthy lifestyle), I felt like I really needed to be held accountable.

Spark people is great for support and accountability, and I never want to leave here (and don't intend to), but I felt like I really needed some face to face accountability. I have tried everything in the past (Nutrisystem, Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig)... and didn't stick with any of them. But I didn't want to follow something that gave me the food... I have learned how to eat, I know what to do, I'm just not always doing it. I figured Weight Watchers was the closest to what I'm doing, only difference being they count points instead of calories. I found a deal where I could have 3 months at 50% off, and I figured what the heck! So I signed up, I went last Thursday for my initial weigh in and meeting. I really enjoyed the leader... she is kind of a no nonsense lady, and she is supportive but will also ask you the tough questions if you aren't seeing the results you "should" be getting. I liked her so much, it made me want to work the program and come back and show her that I know how to do it.

I told them my history, how much weight I had lost, how I've essentially maintained the last year but that I was ready to lose this last 30ish pounds. My exact words were "I know how to do this, but clearly I'm NOT doing it" LOL. They liked my honesty and were super supportive.

So today I went back for my first week weigh in and for their records I lost 5.6 pounds! Of course this is water weight, and bloat especially since I was off track for the week prior, but who doesn't like to lose the bloat? emoticon I have enjoyed learning about their points system, and it has actually gotten me to eat more fruits and veggies so that is a plus.

I think knowing that someone will be weighing me in at the end of the week helped remind me to make good decisions. So this week I got a bookmark with a 5 pound sticker, they celebrate every 5 pounds.

This is my sticker, the weekly pamphlet they give you, and a necklace I bought myself as a treat.



I didn't buy myself the necklace as a reward for losing 5 pounds, I bought it for not giving up on myself. I have been at this over 2 1/2 years and not given up. They had 3 that I really liked, one said "Believe" and one said "Fearless", I thought those both were awesome. I feel kind of fearless lately and I am finally starting to believe I can do this. But the one I ultimately chose said "Dream". No matter where we are at, we can always continue to dream... plus I love Cinderella so that was a plus! emoticon

I kind of feel like this is a shiny new extension of my journey. Yes I have lost 80ish pounds, and yes I am proud of that and will always be... but that is kind of old news at this point. The new news is that I need to lose this last 30-35 pounds and get to goal so I can learn the art of maintenance. So that is how I'm looking at this Weight Watchers journey. I am still proud of myself for what I've accomplished, and will never forget how far I've come, but now is time to focus on what I am going to achieve now!

In other news I took a tumble last night walking Sparky. My biggest concern was that Sparky was going to get away from me! I dropped the leash when I fell and I think I grabbed it back right away, but I frantically called him back. He ran right to me. We were on a main street, and he goes crazy when people on a bike go by, and scarily enough a guy came along on a bike AFTER I had Sparky close to me. Had he gone by when I lost control of the leash who knows what could have happened. Aside from that, I managed to hurt both wrists, both knees, my shoulder and hit my head on the cement. Okay, that sounds awful, but the good news is I'm okay. I called my mom, she came and got me. I've been icing my knees and I'm so thankful I didn't break anything. It was a hard and fast fall... where you didn't even have time to realize you were falling, eek! emoticon I really want to go to Knott's Scary Farm Friday night, and I'm not sure if I'll be able to, but I'm hoping for the best. But I won't push my luck!

I've been calling it my baby zombie bite, it sounds way cooler! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MALAMI518 10/28/2014 9:19PM

    emoticon Congratulations to you on both the new weight loss and (more importantly) never giving up on yourself! You are taking the steps to get to that GOAL! Great job! It sounds like Weight Watchers and the type of support you have found there are going to be a terrific piece of the puzzle for you.

I'm sorry about your fall and hope that you heal up very quickly!

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KLONG8 10/28/2014 8:23PM

    Ouch! I've taken falls like that too walking my dog, Jersey. You don't even have time to register and YOU ARE DOWN! Keep icing and feel better.

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GRACED777 10/28/2014 11:31AM

    Congrats on doing what you need to do for you. Weight watchers accountability helps me, too. I like to combine it and sparkpeople. WW helped me lose around 32 lbs in three months and now I'm a lifetime member and both programs help me maintain. Hope you heal quickly!

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LINDAK25 10/27/2014 1:35PM

    Congratulations on your weight loss! That's fantastic. Sorry about your fall. Scary. Hope you're feeling a whole lot better now.

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SIMONEKP 10/26/2014 9:19PM

    Ouch, hope you bumps and bruises heal soon. Good luck with WW. I tried it briefly but left when I wasn't getting the results I thought I should get. In hindsight, I wasn't ready to do the work and that's wht I didn't get results, you, on the other hand, have been doing this for a while and are committed to the journey so I am sure you will get the results you want.

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GRLTAZ 10/26/2014 5:48PM

    Glad you were not severely hurt in your tumble. Nice necklace. I hope the face to face accountability will work for you. I found that meeting some of my spark sisters in one of my other groups was the best ting I could have done. They are great people and I feel more accountable to them now, especially during challenges. Keep pushing. You can do it !

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TRYHARDER2014 10/26/2014 9:36AM

    emoticon emoticon Sorry about your fall. Take care of yourself. emoticon

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SPEDED2 10/25/2014 10:47PM

    emoticon emoticon

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LUVTOBOWL 10/25/2014 9:56PM

    Congrats on the Weight Watchers success so far. We have to do what we feel is best for us and sometimes it's changes.

So sorry you fell, but glad you're doing ok.

I wish you well.

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ICECUB 10/25/2014 7:44PM

    SORRY ABOUT THE FALL GLAD YOU ARE OK. BEEN THINKING ABOUT TRYING WW AGAIN. I AM GOING TO START WRITING EVERYTHING DOWN AGAIN THAT DID HELP ME SEE WHAT WORKED AND WHAT DID NOT WORK FOR ME.

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BAHAMAMARG 10/25/2014 10:29AM

    Wow. - don't know what happened - I lost you off my Blog feed!!

Good luck with the WW. Face to face support and accountability works well for some people and this might just be it for you. I admire your honesty too and your determination not to give up!! emoticon

Glad you did not hurt yourself too much. Having a 195lb Mastiff - I can totally relate to the fear of them going at someone.



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JANISMKW 10/24/2014 11:08PM

    Sounds like WW is working for you, so best of luck! I lost weight there but plateaued when I got RA so turned to SP. The in-person support is one thing that SP can't provide.

Hope your injuries are healing. If you have any symptoms from the head injury, don't hesitate to get it checked out.

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KOHINOOR2 10/24/2014 10:19PM

    I'm sorry about your fall. Hope you heal soon and are able to go on your plan trip. emoticon emoticon Thanks for sharing.

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SUSIEMT 10/24/2014 7:23PM

    Stephanie I am so proud of you! There are lots of Weight Watchers at sparkpeople. Congrats on the weight loss. I don't care if it is water weight! It still counts! I hope you were or are able to go to Knott's Friday. Woo Hoo you!

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SEATTLE58 10/24/2014 6:56PM

    Ya, we love losing the water weight so emoticon on that and you've got an awesome start at WW! So sorry for your hard fall! BooHoo and that means tears for you because it's not just a Boo for this time of the year! I'm sure that you're a good healer, so one can be thankful for that. Such a good Sparky too! Good doggy! emoticon emoticon emoticon And I hope you can go to Knott's tonight! I was to Knott's Berry Farm when I was a kid and I'll never forget it! emoticon

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MOMTO6CUTIES 10/24/2014 6:09PM

    girl I'm so super proud of you!!! :) You got this I KNOW you do!

I've also been struggling going up and down the past few months. I know we can both reach our goals!!!

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WALNUTT1961 10/24/2014 3:41PM

    Hope you heal up soon! I hate to fall - it really hurts! I was on WW years ago and made it to goal. I still have their books - a good program!
My DD is thinking about WW to get her motivated again.

You can do it, girl! emoticon

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SUBMOM2 10/24/2014 3:10PM

    emoticon on losing 5 pounds. So glad that WW is a good fit for you. Keep up the good work and look out for those biting zombies!!

emoticon emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 10/24/2014 2:01PM

    Gooooooood job, Miss Steph! I am proud that you sought WW because you want that face-to-face accountability to enhance your success. Good for you.

LOVE the necklace! Beautiful, and more beautiful because of the reason you got it.

AS for the knees and wrists . . . uh oh! So glad you weren't hurt worse!

Take care.

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HOPEFULHIPPO 10/24/2014 1:22PM

    emoticon

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NETGYRL 10/24/2014 1:20PM

    I think joining WW is great! It sounds like its just the kind of "in your face" motivation you need right now. Way to get off to a bang up start!

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NIMIRRA137 10/24/2014 12:12PM

    Congrats on the loss! I've heard great things about Weight Watchers.

I hope you're feeling okay after your fall! Good job hanging onto your dog. Glad he didn't get away from you.

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CHICAT63 10/24/2014 10:31AM

    Woohoo congrats on your 5.6 pounds that is terrific !!!! Heal quickly, love your baby zombie bite....

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MARITIMER3 10/24/2014 10:09AM

    Oh dear...glad you're okay, and hope you are able to go to the Scary Farm Night, and glad that Sparky came back to you when you fell.

Congratulations on figuring out that you needed a new incentive/accountability push to lose your last 30 lbs. WW is a good program, and you will be incorporating all the skills you've learned from SP to get you there even faster.

I'm glad you like the leader, because I think that's a big part of succeeding.

I'll be interested in following you on this part of your journey.

Hugs, Gail

Comment edited on: 10/24/2014 10:12:44 AM

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BEATLETOT 10/24/2014 10:09AM

    Sorry about your tumble, but glad you weren't hurt badly. Congrats on 5 pounds lost!!!

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VERSESTHATHURT 10/24/2014 9:50AM

    Oh no! I hope you're not hurting too bad this morning. I'm extremely klutzy and don't even require dog involvement for a bad fall, so don't feel bad.

I can relate to the follow-through problem. I get really excited about things like a new exercise plan, or a crafty project, or like now a vegetable garden. The problem is I have a super short attention span, so before I have the time to follow through with one idea my brain has already fixated on the NEXT GREAT IDEA.

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KANOE10 10/24/2014 9:37AM

    I sorry about your fall. I hope you feel better. I also had trouble with last 30 pounds and joined a y boot camp. Ww is a great program. I know you will do well.

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LOVINSHERRY78 10/24/2014 9:30AM

    baby zombie bite...lmao!!!

great job with the weight watchers. sounds like a good idea to mix things up a bit and having that face to face accountability makes a huge difference. :) u got this!!

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FINCHFEEDER80 10/24/2014 9:12AM

    emoticon

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PEGGY11 10/24/2014 9:03AM

    I think we all do better with a little face to face accountability. Mine is TOPS. After 27 years away I went back because it worked for me then and is working for me now. Last June I tripped and smacked my face on a car bumper and banged my knee. No where near as bad as your fall though. Maybe our body balance shifts as we lose weight, do you think.

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DAVIS_6311 10/24/2014 8:55AM

    Great Job! I wish you much success with these last few pesky pounds! emoticon emoticon

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AMARILYNH 10/24/2014 8:42AM

    Whatever that 5.6 pounds was, I'll bet its making your tummy area feel a lot better! I know when I put on 3 pounds of water weight then lose it mine sure does!!

GOOD FOR YOU trying something new! As I've said before, most of us try a number of different things on this journey - whether to shake it up or to break out of a plateau or whatever, its often necessary!! emoticon emoticon

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WORKNPROGRESS49 10/24/2014 8:35AM

    emoticon emoticon

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MISSUSRIVERRAT 10/24/2014 7:55AM

    I can see how Weight Watchers would be a good fit for you for all the right reasons ! So sorry about your fall !

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BBEAGAN 10/24/2014 7:53AM

    Good luck with WW! Added accountability can only help, right? At work everyone has signed up for a website where you track your steps (or equivalent of steps for non-walking exercise). It's a team competition for a month... and some of us have gotten into a little competition within the team... And despite the fact that I post my fitness stuff on SP daily, which holds me accountable to me, I do find also posting it as steps on this site where people who know me in person will see it does up the ante! Another level of accountability. (and competition!) I hope you can make it to Knotts tonight!

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FEEDTHEHUNGER 10/24/2014 6:48AM

    Without losing the 80 pounds first (LOL), I did the exact same thing and joined WW on their 50% off 3 months deal last June. I just needed something a little extra to motivate me into a healthier lifestyle. I knew that WW would allow me to slowly lose weight while incorporating better habits (I can't say learning them because I've known for a long time what I "should" be doing).

Congratulations on your first week -- that is an awesome result.

emoticon

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LOSINGIT26104 10/24/2014 6:28AM

    Hope your wounds are healing. Good luck on your WW program. I think it's wonderful that you've found something that is giving you new motivation. As long as we're still trying, we're still succeeding. You're going to get to your goal...I know it.
emoticon job on losing the 5 pounds.
emoticon

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Spark Friends Are Great For...

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Giving you new perspective! My awesome Spark Friend Marilyn (AMarilynH) had brought something to my attention. She asked me to take one of my before and after collages, and add a 3rd picture to it. The thing of it is, the 2nd and 3rd pictures are a year apart... but I am pretty much the exact same weight. But she asked me to do it because she said I look a lot smaller... I couldn't really understand how that would be possible, given that they were at the same weight.

So here are the 3 photos...


And here's a bigger version of the 2 photos that are a year apart...


I will say that part of it may be that I was wearing stretchy pants and in the newer ones wearing jeans... but I can actually see quite a difference in my face. My face has definitely slimmed down in the past year. So I weigh about the same, but I can do so much more. I also can't help but say that some of it has to be my loose skin, because I do have that on my tummy for sure... I am also hoping that somewhere along the way I've built some muscle (from all the walking) so just maybe that has helped.

The biggest change of course is the smile and I really feel like I have more confidence now. I am happier than ever and I think that shows through. I also have to say, after Universal last year, my knees were swollen and I was in pain for over a week. This time I am doing multiple trips to places where I am walking 7-10 miles and heading back the very next week to do it again. I could have never done that at this time last year, and for that I am grateful.

The scale is moving back down, and I plan to get to my goals, but big thanks to Marilyn for having me look at things in a new light. Instead of thinking "Gosh, I'm STILL where I was this time last year", I am looking at the positive and the facts that I've come a long way in the last year, even if the scale isn't so sure.



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ZELLAZM 11/1/2014 5:52AM

    OH my gosh, you've been so prolific the past weeks and I haven't been keeping up on blogs, but this new photo collage is awesome!

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GRACED777 10/28/2014 11:39AM

    Your new picture does show a new you! You have changed a lot! You look like you're taking on life with confidence, which is a good thing! Have a great day.

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SIMONEKP 10/26/2014 9:20PM

    I see a big difference

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GRLTAZ 10/26/2014 9:05PM

    Good job Marilyn and better job Steph !

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WALNUTT1961 10/23/2014 5:18PM

    Yes! You look great! All of that toning does help. I will keep at it! emoticon

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APED7969 10/22/2014 8:56PM

    I did this recently with photos and measurements and it's amazing the difference muscle tone makes. I think the most important change in your photos is the smile :-)

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ERABEL 10/22/2014 6:21PM

    emoticon

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TOSHIKO120 10/22/2014 2:59PM

    1st, there IS a significant difference and it's FANTASTIC that you're still going strong! I 2nd that Marilyn is totally emoticon like that and more! I'm glad you posted this! emoticon You're looking emoticon and I continue to cheer you on! Definitely inspiring! Keep it up! emoticon

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STEPHM-ARATHON 10/22/2014 9:31AM

    The biggest change is definitely the smile. Just look at you! You look so happy. Huge change.

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AMARILYNH 10/22/2014 9:13AM

    Oh Steph if only you could see the BIG smile on my face looking at this! You look amazing - you ARE amazing! As for the physical changes you mentioned - PRICELESS! The scales are just one part of this journey - the most important part is HEALTH and FITNESS! You are gaining more of both - and inspiring a LOT of SparkPeople along the way!! Hugs!!

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BLUEJAY1969 10/22/2014 8:23AM

    I can tell the difference and you look so much happier and you are standing taller and prouder now! I am so happy for you!
emoticon
Jeanne

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MISSUSRIVERRAT 10/22/2014 8:16AM

    I agree. Yes, slimmer. You are definitely stronger physically and have much more endurance. Your muscles must be in much better condition and more toned. Your body composition must be changing.

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WISHICOULDFLY 10/22/2014 6:22AM

    The scale is not the only measure of health! emoticon

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LOSINGIT26104 10/22/2014 5:27AM

    The smile on your face says it all.
emoticon

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WEBEZE 10/22/2014 2:05AM

    Love the new perspective.

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WENDYANNE61 10/22/2014 1:02AM

    Yes, you have firmed up a lot, your arms and legs look slimmer, you face is now a beautiful oval shape and the light of your smile brings it all together! You are doing fine and as you say, your Sparkfriend is a winner too! Hugs!

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KIM22211 10/21/2014 11:09PM

    I wish I could say the same! lol

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CHOCOHOLIC2276 10/21/2014 10:24PM

    What a great spark friend- she is right! You look slimmer:) So it is worth keeping on- you may not see the progress but it doesn't mean there isn't one:) emoticon

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FEEDTHEHUNGER 10/21/2014 10:02PM

    emoticon

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MARITIMER3 10/21/2014 9:45PM

    Absolutely... the scale is only one tool that we have in our tool box... or one weapon in our arsenal... all the walking that you have been doing is definitely firming up your muscles, which may not show on the scale, but is showing in your pictures.

Keep up the great work!

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BEATLETOT 10/21/2014 9:31PM

    What a great idea! You look great!

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ICECUB 10/21/2014 9:28PM

    emoticon YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.

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SUSIEMT 10/21/2014 9:24PM

    I am so happy that your spark friend was able to offer that suggestion to you. You look so happy in your Disney Universal photos! Yea you girl!

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BIKINIBOD4ME 10/21/2014 9:17PM

    Awesome! I can totally see it too! Exercise really does change the way we look and a SMILE always helps!
I can see you are a fellow Disney fan! :)

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WORKNPROGRESS49 10/21/2014 9:10PM

    emoticon emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 10/21/2014 9:06PM

    She was very wise to suggest that, because even though you may weight the same, you absolutely have a more slender appearance. Your whole body looks sleeker.

Muscle . . . takes less room than fat!

Good job! HUGS

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