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STEPH-KNEE's Recent Blog Entries

Time To "Shake It Off"!

Wednesday, August 20, 2014



Do you ever hear a song at the perfect moment and go "that is what I needed today?" Well Taylor Swift's new video for Shake It Off gave me such a laugh that I needed! You can love her or hate her, I actually really don't care, but I do like a few of her songs. But seeing her dance around without a care in the world gave me a laugh that I so desperately needed. It also gave me a renewed attitude. I don't need to worry about what others (the negative ones especially) have to say about me, I don't have to worry about things I can't control, I just need to "shake it off" and take care of me!

So that is what I am doing. I am still struggling to get back on track, but I am putting an action plan in place. The two areas of my life that I want to get in control are my weight loss (food/exercise) and getting my house clean and organized. I won't bore you with all the tedious details of my plan, because I'm sure no one really cares... but the way I've decided to break it down is by minutes. I want to assign a certain amount of minutes to each thing. So XX amount of cleaning and exercise. Then I will have calorie goals and glasses of water goals to keep track of those things.

I also am going to have a master list for my cleaning. When it is time to work my minutes for cleaning, I don't want to have to sit around and ponder what I am going to do. So I am going to make a master list of all the things I have to get done. To make it more "fun and interesting", I might assign a number to each task and then pick the number out of the hat and do the listed chore. Hey, whatever works, right? emoticon

emoticon I am also giving up the scale for the time being. My next weigh in will be September 16th. I have put on almost 10 pounds with all of my "off track-ness" and it is to a point where it's overwhelming me. So stepping away from it right now is important. It will also help me make good decisions because when I get on the scale I will want to see that it has been going in the right direction. After that I want to weigh in every other Tuesday. This is coming from a chronic daily (and sometimes 3 times a day weigher) so this is going to be a big challenge but I'm going to work on it.

I can feel the blahs starting to lift and that song by Taylor Swift (especially the video) just makes me want to sing and dance like a fool, and you can't feel blah while you are acting a fool! emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JULABELLE 8/20/2014 6:39AM

    Have you ever heard of FlyLady? check out Flylady.net (I think). She sends out daily tasks, cleans in zones for 15 min. It's pretty great. And I love Shake it Off. Very fun and sometimes much needed. :) Good luck!


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AMARILYNH 8/20/2014 6:29AM

    LOL Can't my friend Cat say a LOT with emoticons? Love you Cat!! emoticon

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AMARILYNH 8/20/2014 6:28AM

    emoticon YAY - that's my girl!! See what I mean - you are an AMAZING woman and you are still only 28! That just blows my mind - I thought I was quite 'mature' at 28 but not compared to you! You can DO this and you make me want to buckle down and work on my house too. Which is a GOOD thing LOL!! Hugs!!

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CAT125 8/20/2014 6:21AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ZORINIA 8/20/2014 6:06AM

    Thanks! This is exactly what I needed to hear today! I've been slowly realizing that I might be getting stuck on a plateau. In the past I would have pushed myself ridiculously hard to get past it but due to a new job I don't have the time or the energy to do so. I also don't want to get down on myself because I know I'm doing what I can and even then sometimes our bodies just need a break from losing. I hadn't yet seen Taylor's new video or even heard the song. It's perfect! Just what I need to do. Shake off those disappointing weigh-ins. I too am thinking about giving up the daily weigh-ins. We shall see how this pans out.

I love how you never stop pushing towards your goals. Even when things get you down you just "shake it off" and keep pushing. You are an inspiration to so many, but to me especially! Thanks!
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GRANJERRY1 8/20/2014 6:01AM

    Wonderful idea sweetheart....another thing you can do is give yourself little rewards & penalties. Have 2 boxes...call them rewards & penalties...every time you get a task done maybe you could put in $5 bill into the rewards box & every time you stray put in $2 into the penalty box...just so that you always remember that the reward far outweighs the penalty & at the end of say a 3 Weald streak spend your reward money on yourself & give away the penalty money to a friend or sibling
It works

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BLUEJAY1969 8/20/2014 5:59AM

    I think you have a solid come back plan! You just keep on laughing about that video! Isn't it great when something comes along that we needed so much? I know you got this battle on the back side!
Hugs,
Jeanne

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PMRUNNER 8/20/2014 5:57AM

    Stay focused and you will do it!

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DOVESEYES 8/20/2014 3:29AM

    Go for it!!

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LISAN0415 8/20/2014 3:21AM

    I understand the need to step away from the scale, and I think it is necessary at times. Just stick with your plan, and trust the process, and I know Sept. 16th will give you great results!

We are here for her, check out that blog I saw about 100 days of weight loss, it also addresses weight loss set backs.

http://www.sparkpeopl
e.com/mypage_public_journal_ind
ividual.asp?blog_id=5762080

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STEPH-KNEE Uncensored: Volume 2

Monday, August 18, 2014



I did a blog like this back in July. The difference between a blog like this and my "regular blogs" is that I am uncensored... I am always honest on Spark with ALL of my blogs... but I am also very aware that I am writing a BLOG for lots of people to see. So I might leave out certain things that might come off wrong or that are too personal. So when I do these uncensored things, I just share EVERYTHING. These blogs can be a bit jumbled, but sometimes it helps me to just put it all out there. Right now I am still struggling with the habits, but also with a lot of negative talk. So forgive me in advance if this blog is a total mess. You may want to skip it and come back to my regular scheduled programming in the future. emoticon emoticon

One thing that I have noticed lately, is that my life is not any different after losing 90 pounds. I think years ago, I thought losing the weight would "fix everything". If it was my "only problem" in life, then everything else had to be emoticon's and emoticon's if I could just lose the weight. That thinking was so far off base. When I restarted Spark in March of 2012, I finally realized I had to throw that thinking out the window. Losing weight would make me a healthier person, it would make me a smaller person, it had the potential to make me a more active person (not having to lug around the weight was a great incentive to move more), but that was about it. Everything else about my life is pretty much the same. Losing weight didn't make me "happier". I used to have this internal dialogue that would replay in my head... it would say "I will be happy when I lose this weight". There are several things wrong with that thought process, the most alarming is that I WILL be happy when I lose the weight... sort of implying I'm not happy now. Or not allowed to be happy til I lose the weight. I deserve to be happy now, not later. I deserve to be happy fat, skinny or in between. Losing the weight could add to my happiness, the fact that I am proud of losing the weight is definitely a positive, but it wasn't going to make me some happy-amazing person with emoticon's shooting out my tushy. emoticon

So I think that is something I am trying to settle into. I lost 90 pounds, I am sure proud of it... but I am the same girl in a smaller body with smaller clothes. I am happy about the health benefits, but I have to be happy for me because I want to be happy. The same things that got me down or made me sad still make me sad... even the weight loss stuff.

I will tell you that I really do struggle from time to time with being upset about my body. I am being open and honest with you here... It is really hard to lose all this weight, to work so hard, and still be uncomfortable in your own body. My arms are jiggly (not that bad all things considered), my thighs are uncomfortable, hangy, saggy and just a mess. My tummy is very uncomfortable, it hangs, I get sweaty underneath it and in all honesty it is truly a hazard physically and emotionally. Now before you say "don't be so hard on yourself", I want you to know that I don't think about these things constantly. But I do get down from time to time knowing what I put my body through. Gaining all this weight comes with some consequences, mentally, physically, and health-wise. I can get down to a nice "normal" weight, but I will never have the body of a "normal person".

At 28 years old that can be a hard pill to swallow. I am fortunate enough that I can afford to get a tummy tuck, and I plan to do that October of next year. That is the thing that bothers me the most, and I truly believe it is a necessity. If I don't have it removed, I know the hanging skin will cause rashes and sores. So I am grateful that I will be able to do that. But that does not mean that I won't be left with many reminders of the weight I have lost.

So just being honest here, that gets me down from time to time.

The last 2 things that have been plaguing me recently and in the past is... my mind still likes to think I'm 200+ pounds. I was 205 pounds at age 18, so even when I tell my coworker my weight, I often start with a 2, "Oh, after Vegas I'm back up to two-eighty... I mean one-eighty-seven." My mind has not fully caught up to it yet, and I think that can make this journey even harder at times. There is a lot of research that says your mind can take a couple years to get caught up to the changes your body has made. The transition isn't easy, and it seems to be a long one.

The other thing is that "slippery slope" mentality. I am up about 6 pounds from Vegas. Anyone else would say "it's just 6 pounds, I'll work hard and get it back off and move on." The emoticon in my mind says "Wow, you gained 6 whole pounds in a week?! That is awful. That is just a stones throw away from gaining 60 pounds back. Why wouldn't you gain back the weight you lost? Every single time you have lost the weight you have gained it ALL back, plus more!"

That is what I have messing with my head right now. I know that 6 pounds gain doesn't have to result in gaining back 90 pounds. That's not logical, and it is quite a huge leap from 6 pounds to 90 pounds... but in my mind sometimes it feels like they are just right there. Like in a week I could wake up at my starting weight.

Again, I know that it's not rational, but sometimes it takes a lot of strength and courage to shut those voices down. Logically I know that I can get these 6 pounds off, that I am not going to gain all my weight back (I refuse to let that happen), that I can get back on track, one day at a time. I know that this is just a bump in the road and that I have had many and that I will eventually get past it. But sometimes this stuff is hard! It can be such a battle internally and there is nothing worse than feeling like you have to battle yourself, or in this case my inner fat girl!

So there you have it, Steph-knee Uncensored: Volume 2! It wasn't pretty, and some of the stuff in the deep dark corner of my mind are far from emoticon's and emoticon's, but it is a part of my journey and a part of what I am dealing with at the moment. I know this "blah time" will pass and that things will look up again. That i will get back to working hard and get the scale dropping again, but sometimes when you feel blah, the light at the end of the tunnel can seem a little far away. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TENNISJIM 8/20/2014 6:44AM

    Awesome

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SHARON7464 8/20/2014 6:36AM

    Oh...I get the six pounds gained throw the towel in mentality. I often have the all or nothing view. But, I'm trying to change that and embrace what I am doing right!

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CUDDLYPOLARBEAR 8/20/2014 6:32AM

    Thanks for sharing

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ADVENTURESEEKER 8/20/2014 3:29AM

    Your weight-loss is all you. Every lb was lost through blood, sweat and tears.
I can relate to this- to the gain, still thinking like I was large...yep, weight-loss can mess with our heads.
I also think my body will never be 'normal' and that is difficult to come to terms with. But Being slimmer and healthier is better than the alternative.

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WRITERWANNAB 8/20/2014 2:00AM

    I can relate to your feelings because I share them. I'm pulling for you! emoticon

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MAYBER 8/19/2014 11:42PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ROCKYCPA 8/19/2014 11:34PM

    emoticon emoticon

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CANDOIT54 8/19/2014 11:02PM

    emoticon thanks for sharing. You are truly inspiring.

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CAROLJ35 8/19/2014 10:48PM

    You're human like the rest of us!!!

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LADYBUG1107 8/19/2014 10:28PM

    Stay strong!

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AMBER461 8/19/2014 10:04PM

  Thanks for sharing, I love the honesty of your blog, it is good to know that you are going to get the tummy tuck, you con do some exercises to firm up your arms. You have a lot to be grateful for some of us cannot get the weight off.

Comment edited on: 8/19/2014 10:06:22 PM

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LIVELYGIRL2 8/19/2014 9:58PM

  I do think your expressing, and putting out there what many people feel.

My sister has shared some of these things. She lost 97, and has been working through maintaining, and after that she was trying to not diet anymore, and just eat reasonable , and it has been a struggle to keep those stats from moving backwards.

Since you are so young, I encourage you to do this stomach improvement. I hear people upset with hanging skin from appearance, and sweating/rashes, and things like that.

Even though you have these thoughts and fights: I absolutely think you can hit your goal. After awhile, you will most likely have a better image of yourself. Your mind will change.

But still, as you say, there are other stressors all around us. There are helpful tips and lessons on that too.

I hope you have friends in real life to support you.

Your ama emoticon zing!

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SHOAPIE 8/19/2014 8:46PM

    emoticon emoticon

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MARITIMER3 8/19/2014 8:34PM

    You're learning a lot about yourself in this process, and you will be a much stronger person because of it.

Will you be happier? Maybe and maybe not. I guess that's up to you, because happiness comes from the inside, not from the outside.

I think many of us have thought that we would be happier/more accepted/have a better social life/find the love of our life... if only we could lose the weight. But think about it for a minute. If someone only likes you because you lose weight, is that the kind of person you want to be with?

I'm glad that you will be able to have the excess skin removed from your abdomen. You will feel much better without it, and it could cause nasty problems. Perhaps you are young enough that some of the excess skin on your arms and thighs will shrink back... or perhaps you could save to have surgery on those areas.

You have done wonderful things to lose 90 lbs. You deserve to be very proud of yourself.

If you aren't already doing so, consider some kind of volunteer work in your community. Because you love animals so much, perhaps there is something you could do in that field. Doing something for someone else on a regular basis is a really good way of taking all the focus off yourself, and becoming happier because you are giving to someone (or something) else.

Hugs, Gail

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KEEPITSIMPLE_ 8/19/2014 7:28PM

    Great blog, definitely not a mess. It's good to get it out just the way it is. It keeps you true to your feelings now, and later when you look back on your true situation and frustration, you'll recognize another milestone.

You really do resonate with us, with some of the same issues. My jiggly spots bother me, especially the belly fat which bothers me more and more, since it seems bigger, yet I've been maintaining for 4 years, and I haven't gained weight, and my clothes are a little looser, but my belly seems fatter. Working hard to tone it up.

Bottom line, no matter how thin you get, you still have issues. I hear you have to get quite a bit of counseling in order to have that surgery, around here anyway. Hopefully these issues will be dealt with as you adjust.

Thanks for your real, honest blog. I wish you the best!

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MSROZZIE 8/19/2014 7:20PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ONEKIDSMOM 8/19/2014 6:51PM

    You are not alone, Steph-Knee! Even now, four years of maintenance under my belt, I found myself doing that number transformation thing the other day... within the past week or two! Instead of saying "116", I said "161"... not as bad as when I used to turn "125" into "225", but still... it takes a long time to adjust.

I'm kind of used to being "small", "tiny", "petite" etc. by now, and people around me have stopped with the overkill of "you've lost too much" or "you're too thin" and they have stopped pushing food. But that's just the hows.

I discovered the first time in my adult life when I lost weight what you disclose here: losing weight does NOT solve all the problems in your life. And your body *does* have after-effects. Guess with age comes acceptance because now I am OK with the jiggles and the sags, the empty skin... it's just another fact of what I have done to my body over time. But I'm over 60. If I was your age? And successfully maintained for as long as I have... I would totally go for the skin reduction... and preciously guard my recovery.

Because you're worth it. Hang in there! Because you're worth it. And we CAN do this! Because we're worth it.

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CATNURSE1 8/19/2014 5:57PM

    I like you blog, always. I get People magazine (mainly for the puzzle, but there's all that other junk, too), and the issues of losing half their weight always bug me. These people say they cut out carbs and started going to the gym twenty hours a day and they drink gallons of water only and no big deal, six months later they're down to seventeen pounds.

But what about the mother with special needs kids, the father who works two jobs, the people that have sedentary jobs or live in areas that don't have a gym around the corner? Do these people have pets or families or friends? Do they ever get PMS or male menopause and get chocolate or potato chip cravings? You never hear the down side of losing weight.

I started out with a "tomorrow" attitude, and every once in a while, I still hear my conscious saying that -- "Tomorrow I'll do better".

Reality is refreshing. Thanks for that cool drink of water.

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THOMS1 8/19/2014 5:48PM

    I like your honesty! Don't worry, once you get back to your normal eating and exercise those 6 pounds will melt away. Figuratively emoticon speaking of course.

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KMRJPR 8/19/2014 5:04PM

    I love the honesty of your blog. And knowing that others share your concerns and complaints is somehow a comfort.

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JUNEAU2010 8/19/2014 4:59PM

    I always appreciate your blogs.

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NEPTUNE1939 8/19/2014 4:54PM

    emoticon

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LUVSBULLDOGS 8/19/2014 4:03PM

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ALEXSGIRL1 8/19/2014 3:59PM

    emoticon emoticon

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JRRING 8/19/2014 3:50PM

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JSEATTLE 8/19/2014 3:33PM

  The fact that you can express yourself so well during an off period speaks well for your success in the future. You know you've got it girl!

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CFMOSS 8/19/2014 3:01PM

    Having just read the blog from someone who's going off of spark for awhile because of mind stuff....I read you in the context of just how amazing our minds our....the battles we fight every day in our minds....figuring out how to keep going...how much to lay it all out. So glad for the progress you've made on weight....here's to strength to face the little red faced pointy eared guy who pops out when you least expected it.

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EGMINGA 8/19/2014 2:16PM

    Well said emoticon Many people do start a weight loss journey thinking all will be great when the weight is gone but not necessarily so we are still the same person just smaller and healthier. Thanks for your honesty in this blog. emoticon

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OVERACTIVEELBOW 8/19/2014 2:16PM

    I like uncensored!!!

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TRIM180 8/19/2014 1:55PM

    Your BEAUTIFUL! Passionate honesty leads to compassion for YOU! emoticon emoticon emoticon Keep hopping

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PJB145 8/19/2014 1:54PM

    Many, many valid points and all true. I have to lose 90 pounds and it helps to get the perspective from some one who has been there, done that. So thanks for your 'uncensored' blog. Good points all.

Even if it is a platitude, I have to say - you CAN do this.

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AMIEMICHELE 8/19/2014 1:28PM

    emoticon emoticon

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IDICEM 8/19/2014 1:20PM

  Weight loss brings so many challenges we never think about at the beginning of the journey. Keep working on your answers and you'll find them. Thank you for your honesty.


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NANFACEMIRE1 8/19/2014 12:47PM

    You CAN do it.

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LCRUMLEY81 8/19/2014 12:41PM

  Great Blog thank you

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CIRCULARPRAISE 8/19/2014 12:39PM

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts and fears with us, Steph. We all struggle with such things, but we don't give voice to them out of fear of ridicule, rejection, criticism - or worse, that they might come true. But the healthy choice is to acknowledge the fears and move on from them, and that's what you're doing. Keep up the good work!

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NONNAOF2 8/19/2014 12:29PM

  Try not to let your mind sabotage your 90 pounds success, we are always hardest on ourselves. Take a few minutes each day to just close your eyes and imagine yourself after your tummy tuck. I'm sure that if I get to the weight loss that you have accomplished so far, I would love to have that tummy tuck, too! Things will fall into place for you physically and mentally if you don't hold yourself back. It's a difficult journey, some more so than others, but in the end, it will be worth it all and I have confidence in you! :-)

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SUSIEGKORN 8/19/2014 12:11PM

    Thanks for the insight and honesty! Some was hard to read because I thought you were talking about me! Reality check! Best to you always!

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PATRICIAANN46 8/19/2014 12:05PM

  emoticon for your total honesty. The truth is always so helpful.

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JUSGETTENBY42 8/19/2014 11:46AM

    emoticon

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KATELJM 8/19/2014 11:06AM

    Your blog rang true. IMHO, therapy can do wonders to come to terms with the destructive lessons we learned early in life that turned into evil destructive self-sabotaging habits as we grew older. Did you know you can actually contract your therapist to help you discover alternative ways of reacting and behaving, rather than just "contemplating your navel"?

I wish you success in dropping the dead weight of misconceptions that sabotage your happiness.

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DSHONEYC 8/19/2014 10:50AM

    You just said what most of us "former heavy-weights" feel on occasion. Life is a struggle. We were built that way. It's no "Cinderella Story" with a happy ending...we have to make our own happiness and sometimes it means we have to be uncensored.

emoticon girlfriend!

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KNYAGENYA 8/19/2014 10:17AM

    I'm right there with you. I lost 80 pounds and I still see myself as chubby. I have to remind myself that I no longer need to shop in the plus size section. I put on 10 pounds over winter and it upset me so much one would think the end of the world was upon us. I am still trying to adjust to clothes that fit correctly instead of loosely hang. I too am dealing with the loose skin. I also thought happiness was a size. I wasn't happy at a size 18...not quite too sure why I thought I would find the key to happiness in a size 4. Keep up the good work.

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MAPFARMS 8/19/2014 9:50AM

    Thanks for sharing your struggle. You help others to know they are not alone with there own struggles!! emoticon emoticon

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VAINVT 8/19/2014 9:44AM

  I love your honesty and self-awareness. My thoughts are with you as you learn to be a healthier person.

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WORKNPROGRESS49 8/19/2014 9:37AM

    emoticon

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DJSHIP46 8/19/2014 9:35AM

    I'll check in later... hope the blahs are soon behind you... emoticon

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PATTYKLAVER 8/19/2014 9:35AM

    You have stated simply and elegantly how I have felt since age 9. Unfortunately, I believe I have passed on some of the negative self-image onto my girls. I vow right now to start correcting that.

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DAWNO64 8/19/2014 9:29AM

    You're fantastic! And I know what you mean about those six pounds...but when you get a flat tire you don't run around the car and pop the other three, do you? Since one's flat, heck, I might as well just pop the others! Yet we still do this when we gain a few pounds. We're either terrified that we're done losing weight, or our subconscious mind says "why bother now?". You're aware and can fight that.

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TIMEHASCOME56 8/19/2014 8:50AM

    emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/19/2014 8:51:11 AM

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Case Of The Blahs, Clean Slate & A ? For All Of You...

Saturday, August 16, 2014

emoticon Based on past experiences posting "negative/blah" things, I have to start with a disclaimer LOL! I know everyone here does their best to help and be supportive, but sometimes we can get the wrong impression from a post. So I just wanted to say that I am generally a very happy person... right now I am feeling blah and this post will reflect that, but it is not how I feel on a day to day basis. Why the disclaimer? Because the last thing I need to hear when I am having a blah day is that I may "suffer from depression" or "need to see the psychologist" emoticon

But enough about that... today I just feel like this:


I feel very overwhelmed right now... it started with ants crawling all over my kitchen the day that I left for Vegas. I know several people who have been fighting the ant battle, and boy is it a pain. So I came back from Vegas to have to continue the ant battle. It is getting better, and hopefully there is an end in sight soon. But that just drove me bonkers! emoticon

My house is clutter central these days! I really need to clean it, but again, overwhelmed. It's not like hoarders or anything, but it's not pretty and I think the problem is I feel like I don't know where to start. Then I feel like if I do a little something it wasn't enough, and I am not getting anywhere.

It is kind of like wanting to lose 100 plus pounds. It is overwhelming, but we have to start with baby steps. We aren't going to wake up 100 pounds thinner, and I am not going to wake up to a sparkling clean-organized house. But I still have to take those first steps to get the ball rolling. I have been putting a plan in place for what I need to do, but I can't seem to get past the first step. emoticon

The worst part is, when I get overwhelmed, I kind of shut down. It is so silly when I say it out loud, because it is like there are all these things I need to work on, things that need my attention, and I don't know where to start so I just don't do anything. That is definitely how I let my house get so out of sorts and it is how I got to my highest weight. By doing nothing. By sitting on the sidelines and just watching as things got worse and worse.

So with that said, I need to work on some baby steps. I still have been eating terribly even after returning from Vegas and it is really starting to scare me. I know we all have bad days and bad weeks... but I also know me. A bad day can turn into a week, then a month, then 6 months and before you know it I've gained back 40 pounds. That hasn't happened on my current weight loss journey (a little over 2 years) but that is what has happened on all my previous attempts. So I know that is a little dramatic, and it is quite a leap from gaining back 6 pounds to gaining back 60 pounds... but I also feel at times it can be a slippery slope.



So from here on out, I've got a clean slate. I really need it. It doesn't matter how I gained so many pounds in a week, it doesn't matter how my house got cluttered... what matters is what I do NOW. It also saddens me to say this, but I have to let go of the Disneyland goal. I am now 10 pounds away from it, original deadline was Monday. The "new deadline" was a week from that date. It just isn't happening. Truth be told I am going to Disneyland the first week of September, which totally sounds like a cop out, but I'm going LOL! I am really embarrassed to have to admit defeat, after everyone was so supportive and pulling for me to get there... but I have to let it go. If I continue to dwell on it, I will end up feeling even more sorry for myself, and that might lead me down a far worse path.

I am also going to work on getting away from the scale. Right now, when I am eating poorly, I need to kind of see it, I need the reminder that things are "off". In the past, avoiding the scale meant being in denial about my weight and not wanting to know the truth. But once I am back on track, I am really going to see about maybe doing a bi-weekly weigh in. Putting the scale in the garage in between weigh ins. I am a big believer that this is a lifestyle and it's forever, so I really need to find a way to focus on the healthy habits, nsv's and other forms of success and not let that scale mess with me. I have been saying I need "get away from the scale" for a very very long time, maybe this time I'll finally do it. emoticon

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Here is my big question for all of you. When things are "out of sorts" or "overwhelming" in your everyday life, do you feel like things in your "weight loss world" get turned upside down, or vice versa?

The trend I am noticing with me personally, is that I either have it all together or I have total chaos. If things are going well in my everyday life, my food choices are spot on, my weight loss is good, my exercise is good and it's all in harmony. But when one piece of the puzzle goes missing, it seems like everything starts to go down with it. I was just wondering if anyone else had the same pattern, or even a totally opposite one. By sharing and learning about what others go through, it helps me learn even more about myself and how to do better. emoticon

Here's a funny and some of my newest "rainbow loom creations" LOL. emoticon


T Rex:

Minnie Mouse Pencil Topper:

Baby Jaws:

Pluto:


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ADVENTURESEEKER 8/20/2014 3:34AM

    Some days my weight-loss goals get sucked into the vortex, but I know if I keep up with my exercise I'll be ok. At least I can have that.
I hate the clutter thing! I feel like when I do have something de-cluttered that I feel calmer. And that other things fall into place as well.

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ASCHU2 8/19/2014 12:34AM

    I've gained back 15 lbs from my lowest weight since the start of my separation from my husband in March, and I know it's because my wonderful friends are rallying around me. They take me out for hikes and kayaking and activities, but I'm finding it SO hard to turn down the food that comes along with eating out of the house, too. I know they love me, so their expectations aren't the problem-it's my mentality.
I spent my entire day cleaning my apartment today, too. I finally tackled the last box from the move, and I'm getting ready to bite the bullet, file the papers, tighten up the nutrition, and start teaching again next week. You know yourself enough to know this journey will do everything it can to test us, but you're right-it IS a lifestyle, not temporary. We're going to come out on top because we're always working!!

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JRRING 8/18/2014 1:40PM

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4_MY_GIRLZ_N_ME 8/18/2014 12:23PM

    Hi Steph,

Thank you for sharing your journey. You are definitely not alone and many parts of your blog, I could have written for myself, except I just didn't know where to start ( emoticon ).

Praying we find our focus.

Take care,
Gretchen

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FREESPIRITME 8/18/2014 10:19AM

    I feel you. You're not alone.
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I'm not a house keeper either. I totally love Fly Lady (have you seen her website?) and her "baby steps" way of keeping things neat. You can do anything for a few minutes. Take a look. Your mileage may vary but I know it helped me.

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BLUEJEAN99 8/18/2014 1:03AM

    Yes I totally overeat when things go awry in life. The difference between then and now is now I am catching myself. Sometimes it is 7 or 8 pounds gained before I stop but that is better than 70 or 80 !!! The main reason I'm catching myself is self-awareness AKA not in total denial anymore!!! And the main reasons are sparkpeople and daily weighing. It doesn't work for everyone but it sure works for me! I had a backslide this year but am back on track and lost most of it again. Still 10 pounds from goal weight but that's okay!!! I would rather hover 10 pounds over goal for the rest of my life than do that awful yoyo-ing again. Lots of love to you!
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TIFFFIT 8/18/2014 1:03AM

    I always have to remind myself that YOU wrote these blogs and not me! Yes, I've lost weight before and then lost my focus before the pounds crept back on; yes my house is a cluttered mess (and always has been, sad to say); yes I too get what I call "paralyzed into inactivity" by the overwhelming goals I know I need to accomplish. I definitely feel what you described about how one thing getting out of control affects everything else. It seems like it's all-or-nothing for me too; when I'm tracking foods I'm also better about keeping up with the budget and putting things away but if one thing goes it can be like a house of cards. The DH is out of town this week and I made it a goal to get five rooms CLEAN while he's away, but Sunday has come and gone and I didn't finish the kitchen, which means I'm unlikely to have time to do everything else.
For me the "fix" is to make a list of what I need to do (whether it's chores, foods, etc.) and then cross things off as I accomplish them. I need that visual motivation to get back on track, so the list usually works.

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ROCKYCPA 8/17/2014 10:20PM

    Hang in there and keep pushing!

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1STBUCKETITEM 8/17/2014 9:05PM

  Hi Steph,

YOU ARE NORMAL! emoticon We have all been there at the BLAHS. emoticon But, you have already taken the first step... acknowledging the problem, admitting it to yourself. Now, the second step. Don't make anymore excuses for yourself. Get up and do it! emoticon
emoticon Set a timer or your phone alarm for 15 minutes and then accomplish one task, like clearing any clutter from one section of any room. Then, set it again and move to another room. emoticon
Disneyland goal may have to wait for now, but I know you will get back on track soon and what a blast you'll have when you go! emoticon

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JUNEAU2010 8/17/2014 8:55PM

    I could have said a lot of what you said today. My answer to your question is = for me, I start singing. Act as if I am happy until I really am.

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CFMOSS 8/17/2014 7:28PM

    I could have written the stuff on being overwhelmed....sometimes I swim in it and digging myself out. well, humor does help...if I don't say so myself....appreciate your ability to laugh and find laughter and humor in the midst of the ugh. Keep on keepin'on.

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SIMONEKP 8/17/2014 7:25PM

    When stuff is out of sorts I try to hang on to parts that's going well so for example, if I went over my calories or was within calories but didn't make the best food choices, I make sure I work out anyway, I track everything and I resolve to get everything back on track the very next day.

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MAYBER 8/17/2014 6:55PM

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts you have reached and helped more people than you will ever expect too
Best wishes as you push forward
One day at a time
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JSEATTLE 8/17/2014 6:36PM

  Baby steps is the way to go. With the housecleaning, I start with one room and use the clock method: Pick one corner or place and that becomes 12:00. Just do 12:00. Then you can go around the clock until the whole room is done. Doesn't matter if it takes an hour or a day or a week. You will see progress and this will motivate you to do another room, or another station on the clock. I completely understand where you're coming from. This too will pass!

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GODDREAMDIVA1 8/17/2014 6:20PM

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GODDREAMDIVA1 8/17/2014 6:19PM

    emoticon

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GODDREAMDIVA1 8/17/2014 6:18PM

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GODDREAMDIVA1 8/17/2014 6:18PM

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SHARON7464 8/17/2014 5:27PM

    Ok Stephanie.... You've got a lot going on- its no wonder things are getting away from you. I believe in focusing on one thing at a time- maybe the house...you can "declutter" the kitchen of bad food while you're at it!

I don't know if you're a reader or not... I know you're not depressed... But there's a book called the happiness project- she's speaks to how clutter affects mood, lifestyle... She presents one very attainable goal a month!

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NONNAOF2 8/17/2014 5:19PM

  You sound frustrated and maybe even a bit overwhelmed, but you are starting with a clean slate, right! :-) The bad days are behind you, now you have a chance to make new more successful days ahead for yourself. We all have to start somewhere and you can do it! Just be sure that you have and use all of your support systems to help you with your journey! :-)

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LIVELYGIRL2 8/17/2014 4:14PM

  Hmm, all or nothing, that's frustrating and so stressful.

Like was stated, if you can break these things up into small sections... like focusing on one or to projects in your house at a time, than looking at the entire WHOLE thing. Taking steps...

Having the meal things set up, and certain amounts of snacks or treats.

There is a book I read about stress management called, Stress Free ( but that title alone... nobody has no stress, but it had really reasonable info. I also took a 10 course online that had no charge. I could send the link, if you send me an e-mail and remind me.

Some of it's time management and pressure and emotions. Both of these resources had good tips, and the first one is a library book.

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NEPTUNE1939 8/17/2014 3:40PM

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PATRICIAANN46 8/17/2014 2:10PM

  YOU are so NORMAL!!!!! Every aspect of our lives affects every aspect of our lives............that's just the way it is. As far as the cleaning goes.......I have found that if I start with the smallest room first and get that out of the way, I am more apt to continue on to the next one and the next one. I also do some cleaning in the evenings as a way to keep my hands busy so that I don't snack. It really does work. When I finish a room, I stand and look at it for a few minutes to soak in how good it feels to see it clean. That tends to spur me on. The less clutter I have, the more in control I feel too, so I tend to keep less and throw more. Whatever works for you........
I wish you the emoticon

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STEVIEBEE569 8/17/2014 1:12PM

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JUSGETTENBY42 8/17/2014 12:56PM

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LCRUMLEY81 8/17/2014 12:52PM

  THanks for the post

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LINDAK25 8/17/2014 12:14PM

    I think we all have days (or weeks or months) where we feel overwhelmed. Is it part of that all or nothing attitude that's so hard to shake--if we're not perfect we fall apart? I just keep telling myself that I need to keep taking small steps and I'll be okay. You're right, sometimes you just have to start with a clean slate!

Your rainbow loom creations are adorable. What a hoot!

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SHOAPIE 8/17/2014 10:13AM

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SDEHNKE 8/17/2014 9:15AM

    My answer to the house problem is www.flylady.net. (I think some others may have mentioned this) They even have a Fly Lady team on Sparkpeople. Her approach is 15 minutes per day and then you quit. I get e-mails every day about what to concentrate on and eventually you get through the whole house. Even on bad days, anyone can handle 15 minutes, right? That keeps me from feeling overwhelmed.

I think it's all connected too. When I'm in control of my eating I tend to be in control in other areas of my life too.

Suellen


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NANCYTUNBERG64 8/17/2014 9:08AM

    You are awesome Steph!! We do have our ups and downs for sure. Clean slate it is!! Today is a new day full of new choices. One step at a time. One meal at a time. Put away one thing at a time and before you know it, we will be back on track!!

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JERICHO1991 8/17/2014 9:02AM

    Good day for a clean slate.

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CRAFTY1960 8/17/2014 8:57AM

    I totally get this- I am there nothing is order clutter is everywhere. Some of it is not mine and I can't do anything about it but more than 1/2 of it is mine

Weight loss is more of maintaining then loosing I do not want to be in the upper 80's to low 90's the rest of my life so what I am doing loosing and gaining and the numbers going no where

So I am taking baby steps write down what I eat- write down the exercise I get write down some movational quotes and anything else I think may help me understand what I am doing and what I want to do- It does include bible verses also


Work on 15 min of decluttering (marilyn and I have been trying to challenge each other to that since last fall) I need to make a list of what I been putting off so I can see progress

My life right now seems to be busy- Bible school 4 days in the AM and stores or other comments in the PM didn't leave we with a lot of time last week. So amongst everything else I even get to planted fitness once

So my first step is to make a list of what I been putting off.

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DJSHIP46 8/17/2014 8:22AM

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SUEARNOLD1 8/17/2014 8:07AM

    Hi Steph,

Believe me you are not alone. I think we have all had times like this. . .

No therapy needed emoticon I like your clean slate idea. Think of it this way you just have a new starting place.

Remember how far you've come. emoticon

Disney is a reward - enjoy it don't beat yourself up! Just think of all the walking that you'll be doing - Good for you and all the laughing you'll be doing - good for you.

You'll be back on track before you know it.



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ALEXSGIRL1 8/17/2014 7:29AM

    it is easy to get overwhelmed with life. you just need to take baby steps and keep moving forward. if every meal you try to eat your best. then in other things try your best you will get there let go of the negativity and look more to the positive. its hard but you will get there good blog on a hard topic.

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PENOWOK 8/17/2014 7:00AM

    I agree with Tina's response...When things go off balance, we tend to emotionally eat, so the food thing goes off balance, too. The opposite is often true...we mess up on our eating plan and everything else seems to go out the window. I have been trying to do deep cleaning of every room in my house and I have 1 room left to go. It's been the junk room, where everything we don't want to deal with or have a specific place for goes, so it's overwhelming, but I have been tackling little bits at a time. Today, I am hoping to be a bit more aggressive with it. We shall see. Hang in there, my friend and give yourself a clean slate to start again!

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TINAJANE76 8/17/2014 4:54AM

    "When things are "out of sorts" or "overwhelming" in your everyday life, do you feel like things in your "weight loss world" get turned upside down, or vice versa?"

Yes! Yes! Yes!

I think this is an oft-neglected piece of the weight management puzzle that gets glossed over. It's not just about healthy habits, eating the "right combination" of foods, weighing or not weighing, etc. A very big part of this journey is learning to manage our emotions and stress constructively so we're not turning to food as a source of comfort or letting all of our hard work go to the dogs when life gets tough--because it inevitably will for all of us at some point and that doesn't mean that we're all manic depressives. I think it means we need to adjust our expectations during the time when we feel like we're immersed in chaos and strongly consider staying the course rather than setting ambitious goals for ourselves that are bound to backfire.

Stay strong, girl. You'll eventually win the ant battle, you don't have to tackle the clutter in your home all at once and you WILL get your mojo back. I'm also prone to feeling overwhelmed and taking things one at a time at a reasonable pace is often the best strategy for me--as you said, it's just like this weight-loss journey. We can't expect dramatic results overnight, but we can expect slow and steady progress if we take each day and each challenge as they come.
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JIBBIE49 8/17/2014 1:27AM

    I love Disney World.

Flylady bought out Pam Young and Peggy Jones "The Slob Sisters" when they retired, except Peggy still has a great web site MakeItFunAndItWillGetDone(dot)comR>
I loved using their file system.

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JAMER123 8/17/2014 12:42AM

    The Corgi picture is priceless! So true to form!! We all go through what you are talking about in many different ways or at least we view them differently. But to tell the truth, its all in the same basket. Sorry you and delaying the Disney vacation as it was your goal!! It might do you well to go and have fun but keeping the cals. in check.
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SNOWYOGA 8/16/2014 11:40PM

    Love your pictures, but really the Corgi! emoticon emoticon

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JCMSMILE 8/16/2014 11:38PM

  BTW, Eeyore is my favorite Disney character. I know he may have emoticon his gloomy moments, but he is a loyal friend with a good heart

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JCMSMILE 8/16/2014 11:35PM

  Wow!! You are so talented!! I recognize that I am an emotional eater, so when my life is great, I'm on point. When I'm under pressure/overwhelmed, I tend to make some not so wise eating choices. So, you are not alone emoticon Wipe the slate clean and do your best the next meal or day and keep going!!

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BRENDA_G50 8/16/2014 10:41PM

    Great blog! I use to shut down when I got overwhelmed. Got lazy. Didn't want to do anything. And then I got to thinking, (I know, that's a scary thought...hehe), what if I just take one room at a time, one task at a time, and then I could move on to another room and task. That's how I finally got my office completely organized...it worked!!! I now love coming into my non-cluttered office!!! WOW!!!! Didn't think I'd ever be able to say that!!! It motivated me to start doing it to each room until the whole house was de-cluttered, well, except for my husband's workshop area...I won't even touch it!!! emoticon I can't even begin to express the sense of accomplishment it gave me. It might work for you too. emoticon

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SPEDED2 8/16/2014 10:36PM

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JANISMKW 8/16/2014 10:27PM

    God bless you. I offer these thoughts to you:

• A hammer is not a spiritual tool... beating ourselves up is not motivating.

• Try to do healthy things for you... eat a veg, drink water, sleep well, etc.

• Be honest with yourself and track honestly. Sneaking and denial are not healthy.

• To repel ants, a lemon slice for each doorway or window they enter thru, cut in half, put one half on each side: ( ) change weekly.

• If you declutter, "moving carrying boxes" is an exercise in SP database.

• Plan for your trip: walk or pool exercise as much as you can; drink water, bubbly water or skim milk, not soda; look at menus online and plan what to order.
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DOVESEYES 8/16/2014 8:51PM

    Yes yes yes I know this feeling all the time.

I give myself a new slate EVERY DAY to make good choices, and some days its every minute or even every second :)

" I ate it so I track it" at least I'm not where I used to be.

Great blog - I am not on TV where they lose massive amounts in a couple of months, I'm here for a long as I need and I'm going to get there...

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SLLYONS51 8/16/2014 8:38PM

  As an emotional, compulsive eater yes when one part of my life is in the dumps my healthy eating goes out the window unless I am really mindful. Then it may take days weeks or even months for me to get motivated again. In March I failed my clinical and its taken me until recently to get going again. I made many false starts but once I got through the first 3 days detoxing I was good to go and you will be too. We can do this emoticon No failures here just humans being humans

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MCJULIEO 8/16/2014 5:30PM

    First of all, you are NOT a failure!

Look at how far you have come!

The Disney trip may be a little early for your goal, but it just might be the incentive you need to eat wisely on your trip and to get extra exercise when you are there.





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1CRAZYDOG 8/16/2014 5:22PM

    It's that way for everyone. If one facet of life is out off kilter, it throws everything off. It's a pain, but that's the reality.

So, you definitely do need to be kind to yourself! I'm GLAD you're going to Disney Land in September. You deserve that! Honestly, you do!

No matter what road we drive down there is bound to be a bump, many a lot of them, maybe a detour, maybe a pothole. but eventually we get back on the road. So it is with life.

HUGS

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SUSIEMT 8/16/2014 4:58PM

    Gee Stephanie, Duh! You are one normal chick!! I have been fortunate this go round though! My life can be chaos central but the only thing that will be normal will be my eating and exercise. I don't know why that is.

I would suggest having a friend come over to your place and just sit with you while you start on one corner of one room to just get started. Even if you get 15 min. worth of cleaning or just straightening up done you can call it good! Get that evil voice out of your head! You are so worth having good food and a clean house!

But if that doesn't work you can always call on Cindy's fairy godmother for some extra help! LOL



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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Disappointment & A Lesson From Sparky!

Thursday, August 14, 2014

So I can't lie... there is a part of me that never wanted to mention the whole Vegas trip again. To just come back and move forward, start fresh and not look back. But I think part of what works for me is venting through blogging... it really gives me a sense of accountability and it helps me to take steps in the right direction again.

I really wanted to come back with a sparkling report of how I did in Vegas, but I can't do that. Even my recent status update said I did 5/7 good days in Vegas! Well, that is what I get for counting my chickens before they hatched. I won't bore you with each and very detail... but here is how my trip went in the terms of food.

Thursday: Followed my plan to the letter. Not just in calorie range, but followed my "Carb Nite" plan as well.

Friday: Ate a bowl of chili at lunch instead of a burger and fries, and demanded to be taken to the grocery store where I could stock up on some healthy choices, which I did. Huge victory of the day, eating my turkey sausage and veggies while others ate heaping bowls of ice cream. I felt unstoppable!

Saturday: I was fantabulous, on track with my Carb plan yet again, and feeling like nothing could possibly go wrong!

Sunday: The beginning of the end. Made it half way through the day before I got frustrated... It wasn't the carb plan (or lack of carbs) that had me frustrated. It was that everyone else was in "vacation eating mode" and I wasn't. Sunday was BAD! I mean like ate a box of macaroni and cheese and then had ice cream later bad.

Monday: Monday was iffy, it wasn't anything as bad as Sunday but it was bad.

Tuesday: This had been my planned "carb day", "treat day", "free day", whatever term you want to call it. We ate at the buffet and honestly, the food wasn't that great. I didn't eat much. But we ended up eating IHOP later that day, and I know my calories were through the roof.

Wednesday: It is still Wednesday for me as I type this, and I have done so horribly with eating fast food during our trip back I kind of want to cry. I know this may be a little dramatic but it's how I feel.

So I am definitely not 5/7. If anything I'm 4/7 if I want to count my iffy day on the good side of things. What I am fearing most is the days moving forward... let me tell you how a trip to Vegas would have been a couple years ago...

I would have started eating "off track" the week before, because "I'm pretty much already on vacation, right?" Every day in Vegas would have been the "ate a whole box of macaroni and cheese and then had ice cream later" kind of day. There would have been no trip to the grocery store, and no good days. There would have been a 5 pound gain by the time I came home... which of course could be turned around if you got back on track right away. But I would then spend the next 2 weeks "trying" to get back on track. That would lead to an entire month wasted, and up to a 10 pound gain.

So here is what I am telling myself moving forward:
Be proud of the 3-4 good days you had. In the past it would have been 0.
Be proud of the fact that you didn't eat off plan the week before you even left.
You have the power to start fresh now that you are home, and start counting the good days again.
Leave the past in the past. It's done, you can't change it. You didn't do as well as you would have liked, learn from it and try that much harder moving forward.

So there you have it, I had to put it out there so that I can accept it and move on. I am VERY worried about getting back on track now that I am home, but I know I can do it.

emoticon Sparky and I did get in a couple of walks, but my knee is inflamed badly from arthritis and really starting to hurt. The part that stinks is that it was flared up BEFORE I started eating badly, and was not having grains or many carbs. I have read that it can help inflammation but in my case it didn't save me from the inevitable. Although I am sure the awful eating now that it's already inflamed isn't helping matters either LOL!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
So here's the lesson from Sparky. My Gammie has this tiny pet couch for her chihuahua Daisy... it is VERY small! My dog Sparky is about 40 pounds and would never fit on this tiny couch. Well we couldn't help but notice that he was laying on it, and taking a nap! It is kind of hard to see because it is dark and matches the carpet, so there is also a picture of what it looks like. Just remember it's small, made for a chihuahua! The lesson we can learn from Sparky is that if you put your mind to it, you can do anything you want! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOOSIEMOON 8/18/2014 10:38PM

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GRLTAZ 8/18/2014 9:30PM

    Well, I think you did pretty good considering. Changing habits is hard to do but certainly not impossible. Maybe next time you can counteract those vacation mode moods with shopping, spa time, walks, or whatever makes you feel fabulous about yourself and your current choices ? Just a thought. I know having a plan (for those unfair feelings) works better for me and may for you also. Keep pushing.

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CAROL3SAN 8/18/2014 1:14PM

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HYATTI1 8/17/2014 10:35PM

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FOUNDER3 8/17/2014 8:32PM

    Congratulations. I think you did great for being with other people who were not interested in eating mindfully.

We so often are disappointed with ourselves, because we want to be perfect. That is what we have wanted all of our lives.

Well, we are not meant to be perfect, and that is a very hard lesson to learn. I have not truly learned it yet.

I hope I am not projecting my issue onto you. If I am wrong, I apologize. I have a tendency to do that, and, one time I did really offend someone, and I don't want to do that ever again.

This is just how I see it, and I think you did a great job on your vacation.

PS
I am leaving on a cruise on Sat, so this post hits home with me

Good luck getting back on track.

Comment edited on: 8/17/2014 8:34:36 PM

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KAYLEESMEME 8/17/2014 3:02PM

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KIMBALLITE 8/17/2014 1:15PM

  It is a new beginning and we strive for progress not perfection

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AMYSYOKO 8/17/2014 10:55AM

  well said, for me one of the hardest parts of being retired is that everyday is Saturday and every night is Friday night...pretty much like the vacation eating mentality. we really have to watch it, wonder how that all got started anyway emoticon

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NHEMBERGER 8/17/2014 9:35AM

    You can get back on track! You know things could've been much worse! You have come a long way! Hope your knee feels better.

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Comment edited on: 8/17/2014 9:36:25 AM

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WRITERWANNAB 8/17/2014 1:29AM

    Don't beat yourself up. I know you'll be back on track in no time. You have come so far! emoticon

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SUPERSYLPH 8/17/2014 12:40AM

    That's still progress!

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SNUZSUZ 8/17/2014 12:18AM

    emoticon emoticon

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MOMTO6CUTIES 8/17/2014 12:05AM

    I think you did well it's hard to stay on track while on vacation.

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AJB121299 8/16/2014 9:47PM

    Nice

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STORMIE62 8/16/2014 7:13PM

    Knowing what happened and the willingness to put it in the past makes your tomorrows that much more promising. Lead on to a brighter future, take with you the experiences and what you learned from it and prepare for the next set of diet hurtles. It's not how fast you travel but what you learn as you make the journey.

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LORNE67 8/16/2014 7:09PM

    emoticon You have come a long way. You made me feel good about not being the only one that has bad food days.

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DOILIEQUEEN 8/16/2014 6:21PM

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GOSPARK45 8/16/2014 6:02PM

    Try not to call your days good or bad. The whole day wasn't bad. Some of the eating could have been healthier. Give yourself a break and get back on board. We'd go nuts if we were didn't allow some splurging.

You're okay. And Sparky is so cute!

Spark on!


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CHANGING-TURTLE 8/16/2014 5:52PM

    emoticon on doing more than two good day, you did emoticon

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DFROMTX 8/16/2014 3:55PM

    Enjoyed your blog. emoticon emoticon

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MOMMY445 8/16/2014 3:39PM

    i agree! you are definitely starting fresh now!

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NSCARNEY 8/16/2014 2:45PM

    Go hug that dog of yours! He loves you whether you're on-plan, off-plan or anywhere in between. Love yourself too. Thanks for the post

emoticon

(Didja win in Vegas?) emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/16/2014 2:46:59 PM

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LAINYC 8/16/2014 1:02PM

    emoticon emoticon

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BUNERGIRL 8/16/2014 12:38PM

    Looks to me like you did very well! Many would say 'I'm on holiday, so I'll eat whatever I want, and get back on track after'. I think 4/7 is awesome!!! And I'm hoping you had a great time as well... Good for you!

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GRANJERRY1 8/16/2014 12:22PM

    Well sweetheart I know you already know....concentrate on the positives rather than the negatives...think about how good the 4 'GOOD' days felt and definitely you will have more of them
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EDDYMEESE 8/16/2014 11:41AM

    It sound to me like you had a pretty good vacation...and maybe next time you'll be at a mental place where you don't have to stress about your choices so much, but I understand you 100%. I went on a silly little trip to Iowa just to visit family, did 70-80% ok and then came back and was off-plan for about 5 months. I gained back the 10 pounds I'd lost and emotionally, it's worse than the weight itself. It would be nice to go to Vegas and eat 80-90% on-track while relishing the few and far-between treats that you may have allowed yourself...but that's too easy, lol! Instead we stress about it and beat ourselves up, and it's a shame...though I do it every day.

4/7 days is still 4 days more than if you had been on track 0/7 days! Great job!

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AZMOMXTWO 8/16/2014 10:18AM

  even a one good day beets none
i think you did a great job

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CECELW 8/16/2014 10:10AM

    WOW! You've come a long way. Now that Vegas is behind you, you can get right back up on the "horse"!

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PK2H2000 8/16/2014 9:53AM

    Great blog!

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SOFT_VAL67 8/16/2014 9:50AM

    Good for sparky, rules were meant to be broken!!
And dont beat yourself up too badly, I would have gone off my plan day two.
sounds like you did really well to be in vegas.
remember next time, what happens in vegas.........

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STILLMENEWBODY 8/16/2014 9:38AM

    I can really identify with the week before vacation mode and then some. I also understand the bad feelings, the guilt, that comes with dropping the ball here and there with our food plans.

You did amazingly well! Sure, there were a few not so good days but it is not the end of the world, though many of us think that way...lol.

I have been on and off of programs for well over half of my life. It has been a true roller coaster and I have opted to get off..for good!

I joined SP about 2 months ago. I have decided that I am not going to be the all or nothing girl. I am not going to be the guilt ridden I FAILED again girl. I am not going to be the disappointed in me girl ever again. I plan to live my life free of obsession to the best of my ability.

This attitude is not because I want a free ride without being accountable. It is because I am sick and tired, of being sick and tired. I am going to succeed with my weight loss journey as well as my living life to the fullest motto. VACATION is VACATION and an occasional indulgence is ok. It is getting back on the wagon asap that is key! GOOD FOR YOU for laying it all out here. Now..it is time to do what you are STILL fabulous at! Staying on plan more often than not!

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SHARON7464 8/16/2014 9:13AM

    What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!!!! Hit the reset button and move forward.... You've got this!

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CANDYMOUSE 8/16/2014 8:16AM

    Often, I remind myself not to let a few 'bad things' over power the good. At the end of your weight loss journey, you will only be about a week behind. Not bad at all. emoticon

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LYNN-LOVESLIFE7 8/16/2014 3:00AM

    emoticon You had a great time. I do understand why you're not to happy about your trip ending, and then rebound with feeling good, but all and all you had all kinds of temptations around you. I think you did great. I'm thinking. I would have been emoticon gambling and drunk out of my mind in Vegas and bloated and depressed because I came home broke. So, I think you did a great job. Vacation is vacations and sometimes the mind and the tummy takes a vacation too. I think my cheat days are mini vacations my mind and tummy takes from counting calories.

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PJB145 8/16/2014 1:17AM

    4 out of 7, not too shabby. Plus you are back home and already back into your program. Did you enjoy Vegas? If that answer is yes, then remember that portion of your trip and let all the rest go.

You said it best, "the past is past." You can't change it so.... Moving forward is the way to go.

Back on track and moving forward, that's the ticket.

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ROCKYCPA 8/15/2014 11:15PM

    Count the good days and know that vacations happen and you can get back on track now!

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TXGRANDMA 8/15/2014 10:38PM

    Count the good days and move forward! You DID do better than you would have been before Spark People! Great that you stuck to the program for those 3 to 4 days! emoticon

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CELLA_P 8/15/2014 10:23PM

    emoticon

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RURAL3 8/15/2014 10:16PM

    emoticon

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NONNAOF2 8/15/2014 9:59PM

  Not many people can stay on track when on vacation, let alone Vegas!! Just remember, it could of been worse!! Now that it's all over with, welcome home and get back on track and leave Vegas behind!! :-)

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1STBUCKETITEM 8/15/2014 9:08PM

  You have to say emoticon to Vegas and emoticon to home.

You have a great attitude and I'm sure you will get back on track immediately. Don't beat up on yourself too hard. Like you said, "I can accept it and move on." emoticon

Besides, I also had a slip up yesterday with a slice of pizza & 2 scoops of ice cream. emoticon I told myself that it was the first "slip up" since I started this journey on May 5th and "tomorrow I'll get back on track." Today is "tomorrow" and I'm back on track!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JIBBIE49 8/15/2014 8:57PM

    Don't worry about yesterday, as it will NEVER come again.

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STEVIEBEE569 8/15/2014 8:42PM

    emoticon emoticon

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JSEATTLE 8/15/2014 6:39PM

  I'm with you. Be happy for your good days because after all, it was a vacation. Get back on track now that you're home, it will be easier to control the temptation in your own environment.

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IDICEM 8/15/2014 4:44PM

  We all know how hard it is to stick to a strict plan, especially when you are outside our normal environment. So what if you didn't stick to your normal routine? You had a good time, you are aware of the good and bad choices you made, and you know how to move forward. That sounds like a win to me.
emoticon emoticon

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CAROLE914 8/15/2014 4:16PM

  emoticon emoticon

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SUGAR0814 8/15/2014 3:56PM

    emoticon Cute pic!

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IAMAGEMLOVER 8/15/2014 3:26PM

    I wasn't on vacation, but was without my computer and couldn't log my food. I went off track and gained 5 pounds. This after maintaining for 19 months. Now it is very difficult to get back on track and stay on track. I know emoticon . emoticon

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SPARKFRAN514 8/15/2014 3:02PM

    a spark friend Lite brought me to your blog its just what i needed to read so days on the trail we get sun burned staying in one sport to long . then its time to sit and look for a good thing we did along the way like you and your shopping for good food . and you had good days mixed in with good even it we only did a few days remember we are not perfect and it one meal at a time often thanks for helping me get the spark going emoticon

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JUSGETTENBY42 8/15/2014 2:43PM

    emoticon

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Disneyland Goal, Rubber Band Ball & New Hobby

Monday, August 04, 2014

emoticon First of all, thank you so much for all the kind comments I have gotten on my last few blogs! I only blog when I want to share something with all of you, and I have clearly had a lot to share this past week. I am just thankful you all aren't sick of me yet! emoticon emoticon

I will be the first to say that even though I know *I* am the one responsible for my weight loss, as I am the one doing the work... I truly believe that I wouldn't have been able to lose the weight without the support and encouragement from this Spark Community! Getting feedback, goodies and comments from all of you really keep me going, even on days where this gets really hard. emoticon emoticon

The other thing that amazes me, is how many of you have commented or asked about my Disneyland goal or rubber band ball! It amazes me that you remember I am doing that, let alone think to ask about that! It truly makes me feel like I am not alone in all of this, and that we are doing this together.

So here's the scoop on what has been going on:

emoticon I am currently day 2 back on track after the "1/2 binge"! I have to say, the fact that I stopped mid binge really gave me some much needed confidence when it comes to this weight loss journey. It reminded me I have the power to decide what I eat, how much I eat, and all of those good things. I know this is obvious, but in a binge you can kind of feel powerless like you "have to eat that food", and I realize now it is NEVER too late to stop a binge. I also have to say, that what I consider a "binge" at this point, would have been considered dinner a couple years ago. I would have eaten that food daily, as dinner, along with all my other meals. Now I can not eat that amount of food... I physically can't eat that much and mentally I don't WANT to eat that much, and that is a huge victory!

emoticon The Disneyland Goal: Okay, so the Disneyland goal isn't going so hot! Yes, I was down to 181.something last Wednesday, but it looks like I may very well have a gain this coming Wednesday. That is life and I am not super defeated by it, but with this Disneyland goal getting closer to the end, I can feel it slipping away. To meet the original goal, I would have to be 177 by August 18th, and no matter how hard I push, I don't think it's physically possible.

My coworker is a little over 3 pounds away and not sure she will make it in time either. So we had to make an executive decision. We decided that we really have been trying. We have had some slip ups and detours, but we have been consistently trying since we set the goal almost 3 months ago. So we have decided to tack on one extra week to the Disneyland weigh in. That sets our new "official weigh in" for Monday August 25th. Maybe, just maybe I will be able to meet the goal by then! I sure hope I can, and I am going to try my very hardest. She is closer to her goal than I am to mine, so I told her as an added incentive, if she makes her goal by the original date, I will pay for parking on her first trip and buy her a churro. (I promise I'm not a food pusher, we have been dreaming of that churro for months. emoticon) I just figure if she hits the original goal, she deserves a bonus. emoticon

Either way we are getting excited to go to Disneyland, and we are determined to make it happen. I believe we are deserving of the extension, because despite bumps in the road, we have been working pretty hard!

emoticon Rubber band ball: I have not forgotten about my trusty rubber band ball. Each good day (under a set amount of calories), I have been adding a rubber band to the ball. It sure is growing. I did lose count of just how many rubber bands are on there, because I stopped counting the "good days", but it is fun to watch it grow! I will post a comparison picture of it when it gets a little bigger.

emoticon New hobby: So I have to say I have NEVER been crafty. I have always wanted to be, but was never very good at it. We found out about this Rainbow Loom that a lot of kids were using to make bracelets. My coworker and I decided to try it and enjoyed it. We have been following youtube videos to make various things. I attempted an elephant last night, and I actually did it! I surprised myself! I didn't think I could. The best part of this hobby? It keeps my hands busy, and if my hands are busy, I can't possibly be eating! It also has me interested in trying to crochet again. I tried it years ago and while I could follow the movements correctly, my tension wasn't the best and it would make whatever I was making look loose and not right. I know that comes with practice and I gave up too soon. So I am going to revisit that, as it is another way to keep my hands busy.

Here is what I made last night, Billy the elephant, named after my beloved elephant at the Zoo.


^I decided to make Billy a girlfriend, here's Bernadette!

We are having a lot of fun with this new toy, so it was definitely money well spent! emoticon We have a lot of down time at work, and this really helps pass the time!

So that is my update... it was supposed to be short, but am I ever short?! emoticon I hope everyone has a great week and is starting off August with a bang! emoticon I will be leaving for Vegas Thursday and not returning til Wednesday night, so if you don't see me around, that is why. It isn't because I've disappeared, you can't get rid of me that easily. emoticon



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KIN59VARA 8/16/2014 3:26PM

    Cute elephant and great quotes.

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KIM22211 8/11/2014 11:44PM

    be careful in Vegas, Look forward to hearing from you and how that went! We got this!

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WRITERWANNAB 8/10/2014 2:11AM

    Great attitude! emoticon

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MAYBER 8/9/2014 9:32PM

    Best Wishes
emoticon

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CORNERKICK 8/9/2014 4:11AM

  emoticon emoticon

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KHALIA2 8/7/2014 8:29PM

  emoticon emoticon

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LYNNIERN 8/7/2014 7:29PM

    Rubber band ball...very cool!

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EVER-HOPEFUL 8/7/2014 2:54PM

    funnily enough my 8 year 8 nephew started making the bracelets you were talking about this week.he has made ayyub one in black and white lol.the elephant looks great though.who said you weren´t crafty looks crafty to me.

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IDICEM 8/7/2014 12:54PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TIMEHASCOME56 8/7/2014 11:09AM

    emoticon

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JERICHO1991 8/7/2014 10:34AM

    Good job adjusting your goal.

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JAB2010 8/7/2014 10:10AM

    Thanks for the update! emoticon

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GIRLINMOTION 8/7/2014 9:58AM

    Good to hear that you haven't abandon your goal for Disney, just delayed it to achieve it. You are doing awesome at never giving up!

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KEEPITUP62 8/7/2014 9:35AM

    You have such a positive attitude and this is what makes you a winner.
Keep up the great work and all ther best in meeting your goals for
Disney Land.

Love the little elephants!

Susan emoticon

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LEESA-B 8/7/2014 8:56AM

  Those elephants are awesome! What a fantastic idea for a new hobby. And keep on working for that Disneyland trip!
emoticon

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CARTERSGRANDMA 8/7/2014 7:36AM

  emoticon emoticon

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INGMARIE 8/7/2014 7:28AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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COLLARN 8/7/2014 6:50AM

  Wait, you need to loose 4 pounds in 3 weeks to meet your original goal and you don't think that is feasible? You sound like you've given up! A few more salads. A few more minutes on your bike. YOU CAN DO IT!

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REALITYCHECK86 8/7/2014 3:45AM

    Awesome! Those elephants are cool. I used to crochet when I was younger, I even tried knitting before. But my favorite way to pass the time is reading, because I'm just not that big on crafts either. I used to draw and write too back when I was more creative. Anyway, good luck in Vegas! Hopefully you will have fun without having TOO much fun... lol! Glad you didn't have the gain you thought you would too. That's always nice. You're getting closer to that goal then you thought!
emoticon

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ROXYCARIN 8/7/2014 1:31AM

  emoticon

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RENATA144 8/6/2014 11:01PM

  May all of your dreams come true !!! emoticon emoticon

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AUNTALICE2 8/6/2014 9:17PM

    Have fun in Vegas!! Love the elephants! emoticon

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SPEEDY143 8/6/2014 8:52PM

    emoticon Tinkerbell is waiting emoticon

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AJB121299 8/6/2014 6:24PM

    good luck

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JOYFUL1977 8/6/2014 3:56PM

    emoticon

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CUDDLYPOLARBEAR 8/6/2014 3:41PM

    Well Done

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PHOENIX829 8/6/2014 3:07PM

    I think it's great that once you realized you might not make your original goal, you didn't just throw in the towel - instead, you gave yourself a little more time! I'm a perfectionist and it's a huge pitfall for me - if I feel like I'm not on track, I get really discouraged and blow it even more. I'm striving for a more adaptable, flexible approach to this whole journey!

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PENOWOK 8/6/2014 12:14PM

    Good for you two, deciding to give it your all for these next few weeks! I know you'll be awesome in Vegas...with your Gramma, right?! I like your elephants...so cute!! You are so close, Steph!! You can get this done!!

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CHANGING-TURTLE 8/6/2014 11:00AM

    emoticon emoticon You are doing emoticon

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MOONGLOWSNANA 8/6/2014 10:55AM

  I'm glad you keep us up to date on your successes and your attempts. Keep on keeping on!

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JNADALY 8/6/2014 10:49AM

    I love the rubber band ball idea! I hope you don't mind if I copy it! Remember, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery! I've really been enjoying your blog. Have many of the same feelings and situations. You have to know by all the comments that you are soooo not alone! Would love for you to visit my page and blog. :)
http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypa
ge_public_journal_summary.asp?i
d=JNADALY

emoticon

Happy Hump Day!

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SONYARODRI29 8/6/2014 10:28AM

    I had a Disneyland goal last year! So much fun! Keep working hard! Good luck! :)

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FLUTTER-BY)L( 8/6/2014 9:36AM

    Wow love hyena rubber band ball. Good luck on reaching your goals.

I think the crochet idea is a good one. Once you work out the tension issue there are lots of possibilities. I love getting different yarns as a treat.

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SANDRA_E 8/6/2014 9:19AM

    Adding an extra week is a great idea! You can do it! Billy the elephant is fantastic!

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CARRIELYN56 8/6/2014 8:36AM

    emoticon

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BLUEJEAN99 8/6/2014 1:35AM

    emoticon

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CICELY360 8/6/2014 12:10AM

  good blog

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SHERYLP461 8/5/2014 10:32PM

    Love Billy, you never know what you can do til you try!

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ROCKYCPA 8/5/2014 10:01PM

    emoticon emoticon

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SUEARNOLD1 8/5/2014 9:32PM

    emoticon

You're on a roll and you can do it!

Adding another week is a great idea - you may even surprise yourself and make to original goal!

Billy and Bernadette are so cute. You can make your own zoo!

I also like the rubber band ball concept!

emoticon emoticon

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MAMAMOOSE54 8/5/2014 9:27PM

    I have no doubt that you will reach your goal!!!!
Keep up the good work. I gave my niece a rainbow loom for Christmas and now I am thinking I may have to get one for myself.
emoticon

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BLPRETTYGIRL1 8/5/2014 8:34PM

    You can always share your great blogs. emoticon

My grandchildren make those animals with their looms. We all went on line to learn how to use the loom.

Comment edited on: 8/5/2014 8:37:12 PM

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DIANNEMT 8/5/2014 8:26PM

    Great!! I got some yarn and will be knitting!

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1STBUCKETITEM 8/5/2014 7:59PM

  Keep at it Steph! You can make your goal by your Disneyland trip. emoticon

Las Vegas has it's temptations, but you can work them to your advantage - walk! emoticon
Believe me, walking in 100 degrees emoticon
will make you shed those last few pounds - just keep hydrated!! emoticon

Our high in LV will be around 98 degrees Thursday, and our highest around 102 degrees for your stay until Wednesday. That is a COOL wave at this time of year for us. So, enjoy! emoticon

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SCRAPBECCA 8/5/2014 6:53PM

    I know that you can do it! How about extending your goal to the end of the month? I am here on the sidelines cheering for you!! emoticon

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JSEATTLE 8/5/2014 6:46PM

  Most Definitely go to Disneyland! It will renew your spirit to come home and keep on going!!

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JUSGETTENBY42 8/5/2014 6:35PM

    emoticon

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JRRING 8/5/2014 6:19PM

  emoticon

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GODZDESIGN95 8/5/2014 6:11PM

    I am sure you with your determination will get there. I have no doubt. Cute elephant. I used crafts to keep my hands busy and I have seen the rubber bands jewelery brackets and anklets. I always have crafts at hand anything to keep my mouth from eating when I do not need to .

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JERICHO1991 8/5/2014 5:39PM

    Thanks for the update. Looking forward to a celebratory report August 25!

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