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MEN CAN BE SUCH BABIES!

Monday, October 27, 2014

NOW, I KNOW THAT THERE ARE A LOT OF YOU THAT HAVE HUSBANDS WHO ARE SICK. THOSE GUYS HAVE A LEGITIMATE REASON TO COMPLAIN. BUT THEN THERE ARE THOSE GUYS OUT THERE LIKE MY HUSBAND. HE IS SUCH A BABY!

A WEEK AGO YESTERDAY, HE STARTED WITH THE SNIFFLES. BY THE NEXT DAY IT WAS A FULL-BLOWN COLD. BUT HE DID NOT HAVE A TEMPERATURE, NO RAW THROAT - JUST A STUFFY HEAD AND COUGHING. I GOT OUT THE STETHOSCOPE - NO RATTLING IN HIS CHEST. SO WE ARE DEALING HERE WITH - YUP! THE COMMON COLD! AND THIS HAS HAD DH IN BED RIGHT UP UNTIL TODAY. THAT IS 9 DAYS FLAT ON HIS BACK WITH A, "WAIT-ON-ME, I AM SO SICK" COLD. HE TOLD ME ON FRIDAY THAT HE WAS EVEN THINKING IT MIGHT BE EBOLA. I LAUGHED FOR 20 MINUTES. "WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN OR KNEW ANYONE THAT WAS IN SOUTH AFRICA OR ANY OF IT'S NEIGHBORING NATIONS?" HE HASN'T BEEN OUT OF THE CITY IN YEARS! EBOLA INDEED!

WE HAVE BEEN TAKING TURNS SLEEPING AT HIS MOM'S NIGHTS SINCE SHE IS ON HOSPICE. HE ALSO HAS 7 OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS RIGHT HERE IN THIS CITY WHO ARE FAR TOO BUSY TO TAKE THEIR TURNS. ALTHOUGH SHE DOES HAVE A HIDE-A-BED IN HER LIVING ROOM, I HAVE TO SLEEP IN A RECLINER - WHICH SHE DOES NOT HAVE. SO I WOULD SLEEP THERE 2 NIGHTS A WEEK, AND DH 2 NIGHTS, AND THE HOSPICE WORKERS THE REST OF THE TIME. NOW I HAD TO TAKE DH'S SHIFT FOR THE LAST 9 NIGHTS. THAT MEANS I HAVE TO SLEEP SITTING IN A STRAIGHT BACK WOODEN ROCKER AS IT IS ALL SHE HAS. I ACTUALLY HAD TO TURN IT TO FACE THE WALL BECAUSE I WOULD DOZE OFF AND FALL OUT OF THE CHAIR. WHEN I FACE THE WALL, IF I START TO FALL OUT, I CLUNK MY HEAD AND IT WAKES ME UP. WORKS GREAT!

BUT YESTERDAY (AS WELL AS THE DAY BEFORE) HIS MOM HAD A BAD FALL. THE ONE YESTERDAY WAS REALLY BAD AND I HAD TO TAKE HER TO THE HOSPITAL FOR 18 STITCHES IN HER ARM. I STILL DO NOT KNOW WHAT SHE CUT HER ARM ON. AFTER WE GOT HOME, I TOOK AN OLD PAIR OF PANTYHOSE AND RAN MY HAND OVER EVERY SINGLE SURFACE IN HER ROOM INCLUDING THE UNDER EDGES OF HER BED AND STILL CANNOT FIND ANYTHING SHARP OR EVEN ANYTHING THAT SNAGGED THE PANTYHOSE!

SO WHAT HAPPENS? DH HOLLERS AT ME BECAUSE HIS MOM FELL ON MY WATCH. IT WAS 2 AM AND I WAS FINALLY SLEEPING A LITTLE. I GAVE HER A BELL TO RING IF SHE NEEDS TO USE THE WASHROOM. DID SHE RING IT? NO! SHE DOESN'T WANT TO BE A BOTHER. I TOLD HER IT WOULD BE A LOT LESS WORK TO TAKE HER TO THE WASHROOM THAN IT WAS TO TRY TO GET THIS 4'10" WOMAN UP INTO MY BIG SUV AND SIT IN THE HOSPITAL FOR 4 HOURS. SHE AGREED.

BUT! THIS CRACKED ME UP. WHILE WE WERE THERE, THEY ASKED HER IF SHE WAS HUNGRY OR THIRSTY. SHE TOLD THEM IT WAS ALMOST HALLOWEEN AND SHE WOULD LIKE SOME CANDY CORN. I HAD TO PEE RIGHT THEN AND ALMOST WET MYSELF! I STARTED LAUGHING AND COULD NOT STOP. THEN SHE GOT THE GIGGLES AND SOME NURSE STUCK HER HEAD IN THE ROOM TO TELL US TO PIPE DOWN. CANDY CORN! BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL BE DARNED IF SOME LITTLE NURSES AIDE DIDN'T COME IN THERE WITH A PAPER CUP FULL OF CANDY CORN. SHE SAID THAT THERE IS ALWAYS CANDY AROUND FROM NOW UNTIL CHRISTMAS AND THEN AGAIN AT EASTER TIME. SO THERE MOM LAID, DRIPPING BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE, EATING HER CANDY CORN. I HAD TO TAKE A PICTURE WITH MY PHONE BECAUSE I KNEW MY HUSBAND WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT. HER REACTION TO THAT? "DON'T TAKE MY PICTURE WHEN I HAVEN'T HAD MY HAIR DONE."

NOW WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS THIS. HOW CAN SUCH A STRONG 95 YEAR OLD WOMAN WHO IS STILL IN FULL CONTROL OF HER MENTAL FACULTIES, HAVE SUCH A WIMP FOR A SON? HER OTHER KIDS ARE NOT LIKE THAT.

WHEN I GOT HOME I JUMPED ALL OVER DH - NOT LITERALLY OF COURSE. BUT I DID CHEW HIM OUT - AGAIN, NOT LITERALLY. I TOLD HIM TO GET HIS LAZY BUTT OUT OF THAT BED, TAKE A NICE HOT SHOWER, PUT ON SOME CLEAN CLOTHES, AND GO SIT OUT ON THE BALCONY WHERE IT WAS SUNNY AND 80 DEGREES. THEN I SHOWED HIM THE PICTURE OF HIS MOTHER EATING THE CANDY CORN AND HE HOLLERED AT ME AGAIN BECAUSE HE IS SURE IT WILL GIVE HER CAVITIES. SHE HAS FALSE TEETH! DOES HER OWN SON NOT KNOW THIS?

SO AT THIS POINT, I AM AVERAGING ABOUT 3-4 HOURS OF SLEEP A NIGHT. BUT I AM SO BLESSED TO BE ABLE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME WITH THIS INCREDIBLE LITTLE 95 YEAR OLD ANGEL. HER OWN FAMILY IS MISSING SO VERY MUCH AND WILL ONE DAY REGRET IT. FUNNY THAT. SHE ALWAYS FOUND TIME FOR THEM NO MATTER WHAT IT COST HER. AND THEY WILL ALL BE STANDING IN LINE FOR THEIR INHERITANCE ONCE SHE IS GONE. SHE ASKED ME YESTERDAY, "ISN'T THERE SOMETHING SPECIAL OF MINE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE WHEN I'M GONE?" I TOLD SHE ALREADY GAVE IT TO ME - A LIFETIME OF BEAUTIFUL MEMORIES.

ERIN

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SONGBIRDPAULA 10/28/2014 5:49AM

    emoticon Erin, you are such an angel! Finding humor in the hard situations in life makes them go by a lot easier! I'm just in visualizing the whole situation and I wish that I was there to share all of it with you.I guess it truly is as my sister always said… "It's a guy thing!" The only thing I can think of about her having a cut on her arm is possibly due to such thin skin that they have at that age and that it possibly just tore at that spot.Always remember that I will keep you in my daily prayer journal.I count it as a privilege to know you and have you as a friend!

Double hugs, emoticon emoticon
Paula emoticon

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EVIE4NOW 10/27/2014 9:38PM

  Gosh did you make me giggle. I have to wonder if your DH is related to mine.

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RURAL3 10/27/2014 5:20PM

    you are a blesssing Erin emoticon

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PROPMAN1 10/27/2014 4:25PM

  Hope your husband knows and appreciates the special person you are! There's no doubt that his mom is aware. emoticon

My hubby has moments like yours - if he has a cold it's time to take to the couch and wait to be waited on. Meanwhile, i might also be ill but am doing laundry, shopping, etc. What can i say...someone knew who the 'stronger' sex would be (and it's not the male).

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THINGS - THEY ARE A CHANGIN'

Wednesday, October 08, 2014

I HAVE NOT BEEN HERE FOR AWHILE. WHY? WHERE DO I START? FIRST OF ALL, I HATE - WITH A PASSION - DRAMA. I JUST HATE IT AND THE PEOPLE THAT CREATE IT. BUT THERE ARE TIMES THAT IT CANNOT BE AVOIDED. STILL, I DO NOT HANDLE IT WELL. WHAT DO I DO? I EAT! MANY OF YOU HAVE BEEN THERE SO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT.

FIRST OF ALL, IT STARTED WHEN DH LOST HIS JOB AT THE BEGINNING OF AUG. HE NEARLY DROVE ME BATTY HANGING AROUND SO MUCH. BUT THEN ALL HOLY HE DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS HIT THE FAN. THE OTHER THREE PARTNERS WERE ALSO LET GO AND A CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT BEGAN. CAN YOU SAY LAWYERS ACTING LIKE KINDERGARTENERS? AND FOR THIS WE PAY THEM BIG AMERICAN DOLLARS. I CAN'T SAY ANY MORE ON THAT SUBJECT AS WE ARE UNDER A GAG ORDER. QUITE FRANKLY, THE WHOLE THING MAKES ME WANT TO GAG.

THEN I GET THE MOST UNEXPECTED PHONE CALL OF MY LIFE. I HAVE NOT HEARD FROM MY OLDEST DAUGHTER SINCE 2006. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHERE SHE WAS OR HOW SHE WAS. SHE HAD CHOSEN A LIFE PATH THAT WE THOUGHT WAS NOT ONLY POORLY CHOSEN, BUT DANGEROUS. IT APPEARS WE WERE RIGHT. TWO MONTHS AGO SHE WAS GIVEN 6 MONTHS TO LIVE DUE TO CIRRHOSIS OF THE LIVER. THAT SPEAKS FOR ITSELF AS ONE OF HER POOR LIFE CHOICES. SO WHY DID SHE CALL ME? DID SHE WANT TO SAY GOODBYE - I'M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING I PUT YOU BOTH THROUGH? NO! SHE WANTED MONEY! SHE IS NOW ON HOSPICE.

HER OWN SISTER DISOWNED HER ABOUT THE SAME TIME WE DID. THAT SWEET GIRL ( MY YOUNGEST - PATTI) IS NOW TRYING TO CARE FOR HER SISTER, WORK TWO JOBS AND HAS BIG TIME HEALTH ISSUES OF HER OWN WHICH HER SISTER NEITHER KNOWS ABOUT OR WOULD CARE ABOUT.

THEN WE GET CALL NUMBER 2 THE VERY NEXT DAY. DH'S MOTHER - AN ANGEL FROM HEAVEN ON THIS EARTH - HAS HAD THREE FALLS IN ONE DAY. DH RACED OVER THERE TO FIND HER ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR WHERE SHE HAD BEEN LAYING FOR 8 HOURS FRANTICALLY PUSHING HER CALL BUTTON AS SHE LIVES IN AN ASSISTED LIVING FACILITY. NO ONE EVER ANSWERED. WHY? DH RAISED THE ROOF AND CHARGED DOWN TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER WHO ASKED THE RECEPTIONIST IF AN ORDER HAD BEEN PUT IN THE LOG-IN BOOK FOR A NEW CALL BUTTON FOR HER. THE RECEPTIONIST SAID, "WHAT LOG-IN BOOK?' SO OFF MOM GOES TO THE HOSPITAL WHERE SHE GETS 18 STITCHES IN HER HEAD AND IS HAVING A VERY HARD TIME BREATHING. IT APPEARS SHE IS SUFFERING FROM CONGESTIVE HEART FAILURE.

UNDER THE NEW HEALTH CARE LAW, SINCE SHE IS 95, SHE CAN BE MADE COMFORTABLE, BUT NO TREATMENT WILL BE PROVIDED. THAT IS FINE WITH HER SINCE SHE IS VERY TIRED OF LIFE ON THIS EARTH AND JUST WANTS TO GO HOME TO JESUS AND JOIN HER HUSBAND THAT SHE MISSES SO MUCH. THE PROBLEM? THE ASSISTED LIVING FACILITY WOULD NOT TAKE HER BACK. THE HOSPITAL SOCIAL WORKER TOLD US THAT SHE KNEW OF NO OPEN NURSING HOME BEDS IN THE CITY OF LINCOLN. WHAT? THIS IS A HUGE CITY AND THERE ARE NO BEDS?

SO I DID WHAT ANY SENSIBLE PERSON WOULD DO. I CALLED MY CONGRESSMAN AND PLEADED FOR HELP. HE TOLD ME THAT, ALTHOUGH THE FACILITY SHE WAS IN CAN , IN FACT, NOT WANT TO HANDLE HER CARE, SHE COULD GO HOME UNDER A HOSPICE ORDER WITH AN OUTSIDE CONCERN TAKING ON HER CARE. WE HAVE AN AMAZING ONE HERE AND THEY WERE WILLING TO ACCEPT HER AS A CLIENT. MOM HOWEVER, IS BEING A LITTLE SPITFIRE AND FIGHTING THEM EVERY INCH OF THE WAY. THEY, HOWEVER, ARE EVEN TOUGHER THAN HER - STILL SWEET WITH HER, BUT TOUGH!

SO WE ARE THERE AT LEAST 3 TIMES A DAY JUST TO BE SURE THINGS ARE BEING DONE THAT THEY SAY THEY WILL DO . AND THEY ARE.

MEANWHILE, MY NECK HAS HEALED AS MUCH AS IT WILL EVER HEAL. I HAVE A VERY HUNKY PHYSICAL THERAPIST NAMED MIKE, (A HUNKA HUNKA BURNING LOVE) WHO HAS GIVEN ME VERY STRENUOUS EXERCISES TO DO DAILY TO KEEP MYSELF GOING. ADD THAT TO THE BACK EXERCISES I ALSO HAVE TO DO DAILY AND THAT NOW MEANS I HAVE TO BE UP BY 4:30 AM JUST TO GET ALL THIS IN BEFORE GETTING OVER TO BE WITH MOM BY 8 AM. DH DOES THE OTHER TWO SHIFTS.

ALL I CAN DO FOR MY DAUGHTER, IS PRAY AND SEND HER SILLY CARDS TO TRY TO CHEER HER. SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO ME ON THE PHONE, DOES NOT DO E-MAIL AND WILL NOT BE HAVING A FUNERAL - CREMATION AND A SMALL ANNOUNCEMENT IN THE PAPER WHEN SHE PASSES. SHE ONLY CALLED TO TELL ME THAT SHE WAS A DRUNK BECAUSE I MADE HER THAT WAY AND SHOULD NOW PAY FOR HER CARE.
FUNNY THING IS, I DON'T, AND NEVER HAVE, DRANK. UNFORTUNATELY, THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT WILL NEVER ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR OWN PROBLEMS. SHE IS ONE OF THEM. SO VERY SAD. EVEN THE CHILD THAT HER SAME-SEX PARTNER ADOPTED, WILL HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH HER. BETWEEN THE DRINKING, THE WITCHCRAFT, THE SAME SEX PARTIES GOING ON ALL THE TIME, THE CHILD JUST LEFT ONE DAY AND THEY MADE NO ATTEMPT TO FIND HER. SHE IS NOW 18 AND ON HER OWN. SHE WAS 14 WHEN SHE LEFT.

SOMEHOW, PATTI FOUND HER AND TOLD HER OF WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH HER "MOTHER". THE CHILD DOES NOT CARE AND FEELS THAT SHE WAS HORRIBLY ABUSED
BEING EXPOSED TO EVERYTHING BUT GOD WHILE GROWING UP. CAN'T SAY I BLAME HER ON THAT ONE.

SO THAT IS WHERE I HAVE BEEN. AND OTHER THAN MOM AND WORRYING ABOUT PATTI, I HAVE MANAGAED TO GAIN BACK 7 POUNDS. I AM DETERMINED THAT I WILL NEVER CROSS 200 AGAIN AND WOULD LIKE TO SEE 180 BY THE FIRST OF THE YEAR.
SO PLEASE KEEP US ALL IN YOUR PRAYERS AS THAT IS THE MOST POWERFUL GIFT YOU CAN GIVE US.

ERIN

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHEFKAMALII 10/17/2014 1:57PM

    What a harrowing journey you have been on the last few months! I cannot even fathom all that you are dealing with at the moment. I am praying for you and your family, and sending good thoughts your way. Don't forget to take care of you.

emoticon emoticon

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IOWAGRAMMA 10/9/2014 12:05PM

    emoticon

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1HAPPYSPIRIT 10/9/2014 9:05AM

    Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way.....along with a lot of emoticon

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SONGBIRDPAULA 10/9/2014 9:00AM

    emoticon WOW oh WOW! You never know what someone else is going through in this world! I always hate it when someone says "I know just how you feel and what you are going through".We can't know… But I just want you to know this… I will keep you in my daily prayer journal and think about you often.I will pray for the family dynamics that surround you.I know that you can re- lose those 7 pounds and get back to weigh under 200 pounds.I have faith in you and I know that you will do it! I sent you a "Yellow Rose Of Texas" to help you with your day today.Hope you will enjoy it!

Double hugs, emoticon emoticon
Paula emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/9/2014 9:02:53 AM

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RURAL3 10/8/2014 7:34PM

    All I can say Erin is my prayers are with you. If it can happen it will happen to you. But you can see that God is near because of your upbeat attitude through it all. No whining or complaining, just stating the facts. emoticon emoticon

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TRYING SOMETHING NEW

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

I GET BORED QUITE EASILY. BEING MARRIED TO THE MAN THAT I AM, THAT SHOULD NOT BE AN ISSUE AS HE IS TRULY UNIQUE UNTO HIMSELF. THANK THE LORD ABOVE THAT THERE IS ONLY ONE OF HIM BECAUSE THE WORLD COULDN'T TAKE TWO. AND I'M SURE, TO HIM, I MUST BE A FREAK OF NATURE AS WELL. NOT ONLY DO I HAVE THIS STRANGE BODY THAT DOESN'T LIKE ME MUCH; BUT I AM ALSO A NEAT FREAK! GOOD HEAVENS - I EVEN WASH THE VEGETABLES THAT I BUY AT THE STORE! HE THINKS THAT IS TOTALLY RIDICULOUS.

HE HAS BEEN OFF WORK NOW FOR ABOUT A MONTH AND A HALF AND MAKING ME BERSERK. MY KIDS DID THIS WHEN THEY WERE SMALL. SO I CAME UP WITH A "CHART" FOR THEM. IT WAS A DRY ERASE BOARD THAT I COULD CHANGE AT WILL. I TRIED TO USE SEASONAL THINGS FOR THEM. MAYBE ONE DAY WOULD SAY, "GO FOR A SWIM" OR ON ANOTHER DAY IT MAY BE SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS "DON'T KILL YOUR SISTER - THE LAW FROWNS ON THAT."

I DIDN'T WANT TO REFER TO IT AS A CHORE CHART BUT WHEN YOU ARE DEALING WITH AN ADULT, IT'S HARDER TO COME UP WITH NEW THINGS TO TRY. OMW! (OH MY WORD)! IT WAS FAR WORSE THAN I THOUGHT. HE IS ONE OF THOSE GUYS THAT IS NOT TERRIBLY HANDY AROUND THE HOUSE. SO ONE OF THE CHORES I GAVE HIM TO DO WAS TO SWEEP OUT THE GARAGE. EASY PEASY, RIGHT? WRONG! I PUT NAILS IN THE 2X4'S TO HANG OUR LADDER ON. SOMEHOW HE MANAGED TO KNOCK THIS OFF AND THROUGH OUR ONE AND ONLY GARAGE WINDOW! WE DO LIVE IN A 55 PLUS CONDO COMPLEX BUT ARE STILL RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR OWN UNITS AS WELL AS THE GARAGES.

SO THAT RESULTED IN NOW SWEEPING UP BROKEN GLASS WITH A STORM COMING IN LAST NIGHT. REPLACE THE GLASS QUICKLY. SILLY GIRL! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER. TAKING OUT THE WINDOW FRAME RESULTED IN A SLICE TO HIS HAND THAT REQUIRED 4 STITCHES. THEY KNOW US AT THE EMERGENCY ROOM ON A FIRST NAME BASIS. WHEN IT'S FOR HIM, THEY KNOW HE WAS TRYING TO DO A "CHORE" AGAIN.

SO TODAY, SINCE I KNEW I WOULD BE BUSY AND IT IS RAINING, I SIMPLY WROTE DOWN TO BACK THE CAR OUT IN THE RAIN. PUT ON A DISPOSABLE GLOVE OVER YOUR SORE HAND AND WIPE DOWN THE CAR WITH AN OLD TOWEL SO IT IS CLEAN WHEN WE GO TO HIS BROTHER'S TONIGHT. HE PUT THE GLOVE ON THE WRONG HAND! NOW HE IS COMPLAINING THAT I WAS MEAN TO MAKE HIS BAD HAND HURT!

I THINK I NEED TO TAKE A CLASS IN "REMEDIAL HUSBAND 101". THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING SIMPLE HE CAN DO OTHER THAN WATCH TV. IF THAT IS ALL HE CAN DO, I MAY HAVE TO BUY HIM HEAD PHONES TO PRESERVE BOTH OF OUR SANITY. BUT I SURE COULD USE THE HELP OF A STRONG GUY AROUND HERE. OK! I WILL SETTLE FOR A MIDDLE AGED SEMI-STRONG GUY. ALL RIGHT ALREADY! I'LL TAKE A SMALL BOY WITH A GOOD ATTITUDE. YIKES!

ERIN

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RORYLYONS 9/29/2014 1:02AM

    OMG I so relate Erin ...You are a howl...thanks for the laugh it's so true. emoticon

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_RAMONA 9/12/2014 12:43PM

    OMW!
emoticon

I could see it all play out... you write beautifully!

...and despite the frustration, I can recognize true love when I see it. Perhaps you could sign him up for a handyman course through the local community college? He might actually become handy, and it would get him out of the house!
emoticon

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SONGBIRDPAULA 9/12/2014 5:43AM

    emoticon In our wedding vows it told us to take our spouses "for better or for worse" and sometimes I guess it just seems when it comes to chores and such, worse seems kind of to weigh a little extra(LOL)! Headphones might actually work (LOL)! You go girl !

Hugs, emoticon
Paula emoticon

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LIVE_AMAZINGLY 9/10/2014 3:12PM

    I think at his age, 'ya just gotta give up! Throw in the towel! Or hmmm, throw the towel AT him.
emoticon

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_JULEE_ 9/10/2014 2:30PM

    LOL... sounds SO familiar... I think mine causes his little catastrophic events so I won't ask him to do chores...

But you never heard that from me... emoticon

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CHANGES ALL AROUND ...

Sunday, August 24, 2014

I'm sure you have all had those times when things around you are changing so fast that you just can't seem to catch up. Well, that is the story of my life lately.

First there was the accident. I got through it and have adjusted the best that I can. Yes, there will be some things that I just can't do any more. So what? Should I sit back and cry about it? Sounds pretty boring to me. Besides, I am way to hyper to just sit - period! But then we had another big change.

I have been dreading the day my husband retires. He is 72 and, up until 7/31/14, was still working full time. Since he managed his own business, he never planned to retire. His pace is very slow and he spends most of his time behind a desk. So why should he retire? He loves what he does - or did - and had no intention of ever leaving. But something weird and totally out of the blue happened. A rather new employee started buying up stock on the outside and enacted what is known as a "hostile takeover".

Holy Jupiter! Where did that come from? And his first job as the "new owner" was to fire dh!
Now I know I complain about him a lot. But this was just wrong on so many levels. In fact, any one 50 years old or more, was let go! HMMMMM ...... Do I smell discrimination here? He has owned that business for over 50 years and he walked in the door with everything that had been in his desk, in a box. He went to get the rest the next day and the locks had been changed! He couldn't even get into his own office!

To make a long story short, there is a class action lawsuit in process and I really can't say any more since we are all under a gag order. So where am I going with this?

I am a super organized, major type A, OCD person and proud of it. DH, as we all know, is the exact opposite. But the poor guy is like a duck out of water. He really doesn't have any guy friends - he worked 10 hours a day, ate, and then slept. Boring yes, but after 20 years of that, I was very accustomed to it. Now I find myself trying to come up with things for him to do where he can't cause too much damage.

He has no interest in learning how to cook. He refuses to spend the movie to go to a movie.
He plays no sports. What does he do? He watches FOX news 24/7. Yup! My quiet house (I never, ever, turn on day time TV) is now filled with the constant repetition of the same news stories and I am finding them to be very slanted in one direction. I want to pull my hair out and go running into the street screaming "pull out all of the cable lines - I can't take it any more".
But of course, that isn't going to happen.

So I now have this new "appendage" that follows me closer than my own shadow. I turn around and trip over him - several times a day. The sum total of the jobs that he has agreed to do for me is that he now empties the dishwasher. That's it!

I truly think he is going through a form of depression and definitely some shock. So I am really trying not to lose my temper with him. But today I decided to clean out our storage area. It is really a good size area - about 8 X 8 - and we also have a one car garage with lots of storage. The one and only thing in the entire storage room that I can claim as mine, was a box of good clothing that I have saved for a year just in case I re-gained the weight. That went to the local mission today. The only other item in there that we both use is our Christmas tree. EVERYTHING ELSE IN THERE IS HIS! And 95% of it is junk. I called him into the storage room and showed him everything. His reaction? "I know". Does he really need 3 huge boxes of 8 mm movies that his Grandmother took - none of which are labeled? How about the box ( and I weighed this one) that holds 31 pounds of maps from all over the USA.
He can't find his way across town but he may need these maps some day.

God help me! No one else will! I fear for my sanity. And now he has decided - since I am being so nice to him, that he MAY allow me to sleep in the same room with him again. You're kidding, right? WHERE? He rarely finds room to sleep in his own bed. It is piled with papers, boxes and dirty clothes.

Since this has gotten somewhat lengthy, I will depart. Please keep my mental well being in your prayers. Everything my body has gone through, I can handle. But I'm not sure I can survive his retirement.

Erin

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NPA4LOSS 9/1/2014 9:52PM

    I haven't been in touch but am glad to see you are still here. I see that DH is still the same after all this time. It seems we lose touch as we change teams and go in different directions. emoticon

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SONGBIRDPAULA 8/25/2014 6:36AM

    emoticon emoticon Good morning Erin!

My husband retires in two years.Last Friday, he came home and told me that the guys at work were talking about "retired husband syndrome"!Although I don't think that this has ever been an official diagnosis of anything, maybe this is what your husband is going through.Its main symptoms are:
1. not knowing what to do with yourself
2. feeling like you're missing out on something due to a previous daily routine
3. looking for something to make them selves really useful

My husband is already preparing to check out all of these things in his own mind… We'll see how it works! He has worked at his present job for 36 years.I have been disabled since 2003.We'll see how this all works out and I'll let you know.I will keep both of you in my prayers daily that your situation will level out and that you can enjoy each other the way it was meant to be.Thank you for being a good friend and a fellow Bookworm.

Hugs, emoticon
Paula emoticon



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RURAL3 8/25/2014 12:12AM

    Sorry you are having so much stress. Is there anything he can turn into a hobby? I did read recently that old maps are a big draw these days. And could be worth some money. Maybe he can check into that? Good Luck

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IOWAGRAMMA 8/24/2014 6:40PM

    Sounds like a challenge that won't be much fun trying to resolve. Guys and their "things" are more than I can handle, too. DH got rid of a bunch when we moved, but no where near what needed to go. Sorry about the job thing, but I guess when someone else has the power, we're all at risk for being let go. Good luck, Erin! emoticon

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THINGS JUST KEEP ON CHANGING ....

Monday, August 04, 2014

YOU KNOW, IT'S A FUNNY THING. LIFE JUST CAN'T SEEM TO LET A PERSON BE. IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYONE I KNOW HAS LIVES THAT ARE CONSTANTLY CHANGING. YOU EITHER ADAPT OR LET IT GET THE BETTER OF YOU AND END UP A BITTER, NASTY PERSON. FAR TOO MANY TIMES I HAVE FALLEN INTO THAT CATEGORY. BUT RIGHT NOW, I HAVE TO PLAY NICE OR I WILL GO NUTS.

I HAVE HAD ALL THESE MAJOR HEALTH ISSUES AFTER BEING RUN OVER BY A CAR. DH DIDN'T DO TOO MUCH WHINING ABOUT IT. HE JUST TRASHED THE HOUSE - WHICH IS PAR FOR THE COURSE WITH HIM. I USED TO JUST FOLLOW BEHIND LIKE A PUPPY AND CLEAN IT UP. BUT, WHEN YOU BREAK YOUR NECK LIKE I DID, YOU FIND YOU HAVE TO DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY. WHETHER OR NOT I WILL EVER BE THE SAME REMAINS TO BE SEEN. BUT I HAVE FOUND THAT YOUR CENTER OF GRAVITY CHANGES WHEN YOU CAN'T BEND OVER WITHOUT BENDING YOUR NECK. I TIP OVER VERY EASILY. DH THINKS THIS IS A RIOT AND IS CONSTANTLY LEAVING THINGS IN MY PATH. STINKER!
BUT NOW, HE HAS HIS OWN ISSUES.

WITH NO WARNING AT ALL, LAST THURSDAY, HE WAS TOLD THAT HE WILL NO LONGER BE NEEDED AT HIS JOB. NO SEVERANCE PAY, NO REASON - JUST OUT AND TURN IN YOUR KEYS. WHAT THE HECK? SO HERE HE COMES HOME WITH A WHOLE PICK-UP TRUCK FULL OF YET MORE JUNK TO PUT IN HIS ROOM! YIKES! HE HAS A FULL BED AND CAN ONLY SLEEP ON A THIRD OF IT BECAUSE THAT IS ALL THE ROOM THERE IS. AND NOW HE HAS YET MORE STUFF?

I SUGGESTED GETTING SOME SHELVING FOR THE GARAGE AND STORING THE WORTHWHILE STUFF OUT THERE. AS IF WE DIDN'T ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH WITH 7 COMPUTERS IN THE HOUSE, HE NOW BROUGHT HOME 4 MORE! HIS ROOM LOOKS LIKE MISSION CONTROL. I THINK HE COULD LAND THE SPACE SHUTTLE WITH ALL THE EQUIPMENT HE HAS IN THAT ROOM. AND THAT ZIP LINE THAT I ONCE TALKED ABOUT? WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE I MAY JUST HAVE TO DO IT. BUT WITH MY NECK NOT OPERATING LIKE IT SHOULD, I WOULD PROBABLY CRASH INTO THE WALL AND BREAK MY FACE TO MATCH MY BROKEN NECK!

MY BIGGEST ISSUE IS THAT THE POOR GUY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HIMSELF SO HE FOLLOWS ME AROUND ALL DAY. I HAVE A HARD ENOUGH TIME NOT TRIPPING OVER THINGS AND THEN I TURN AROUND AND STEP ON HIM. HE PLAYS NO SPORTS AND DOESN'T ENJOY WATCHING THEM ON TV. SO WHAT HAS HE BEEN DOING INSTEAD OF CLEANING THE JUNK OUT OF HIS ROOM? HE HAS BEEN LISTENING TO MY OLD TAPES FROM BACK WHEN I HAD MY BAND. OMG! WELCOME TO THE YEAR 2014! THAT WAS MANY YEARS AGO WHEN I WAS YOUNG AND WILD. I SANG THOSE SONGS SO MUCH THAT I AM SICK OF THEM. AH WELL! WE ALL HAVE ADJUSTMENTS TO MAKE.

I ASKED HIM WHAT HE HAD INTENDED TO DO WHEN HE RETIRED. HIS ANSWER? "I NEVER PLANNED TO RETIRE - I THOUGHT I'D DIE ON THE JOB." WOW! NOW THAT'S DEDICATION.

ERIN

  
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PYNETREE 8/18/2014 8:10AM

    Oh, That is a shame about his being out of a job ~ with no warning or severance pay! So is he looking to work again, or just being retired?

Sounds like a good time to plan a whole House Clean up, clean out! Talk him into being part of the reorganization.
He can start cleaning out some of those computers to sell.

Wishing you Strength & Luck! emoticon

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SONGBIRDPAULA 8/18/2014 7:15AM

    emoticon Good morning Erin!

Here I am, trying to get back on the boat and spark people with our first year in high school beginning.I agree with you that things change and keep changing as long as we live.I will keep you in my prayers about all of the changes that are going on in your husband's changes also.I have sure missed chatting with you and reading your blogs and I hope to get back in the routine soon.7 computers in your home reminds me of one of the episodes from "19 Kids and Counting".All of the children of school age were lined up at all of these bunch of computers doing their work.I sure don't see how the mother teaches that many kids at the same time.This is our fourth year homeschooling of my grandson and we are beginning high school.I only have one in school and it can get tricky at best.We love it and our system works for him.

Have a blessed day and wonderful journey to the new you!

Hugs, emoticon
Paula emoticon

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LIVE_AMAZINGLY 8/4/2014 5:42PM

    I just can't believe you had 7 computers at home, and that he had 4 more computers at work. What would only two people do with 7 computers?! And, what would he do with 4 computers at work?! Now you say you have 11 computers... I just can't fathom it... I think you're just a good story teller Erin.
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