Sunday, August 24, 2014
I'm sure you have all had those times when things around you are changing so fast that you just can't seem to catch up. Well, that is the story of my life lately.
First there was the accident. I got through it and have adjusted the best that I can. Yes, there will be some things that I just can't do any more. So what? Should I sit back and cry about it? Sounds pretty boring to me. Besides, I am way to hyper to just sit - period! But then we had another big change.
I have been dreading the day my husband retires. He is 72 and, up until 7/31/14, was still working full time. Since he managed his own business, he never planned to retire. His pace is very slow and he spends most of his time behind a desk. So why should he retire? He loves what he does - or did - and had no intention of ever leaving. But something weird and totally out of the blue happened. A rather new employee started buying up stock on the outside and enacted what is known as a "hostile takeover".
Holy Jupiter! Where did that come from? And his first job as the "new owner" was to fire dh!
Now I know I complain about him a lot. But this was just wrong on so many levels. In fact, any one 50 years old or more, was let go! HMMMMM ...... Do I smell discrimination here? He has owned that business for over 50 years and he walked in the door with everything that had been in his desk, in a box. He went to get the rest the next day and the locks had been changed! He couldn't even get into his own office!
To make a long story short, there is a class action lawsuit in process and I really can't say any more since we are all under a gag order. So where am I going with this?
I am a super organized, major type A, OCD person and proud of it. DH, as we all know, is the exact opposite. But the poor guy is like a duck out of water. He really doesn't have any guy friends - he worked 10 hours a day, ate, and then slept. Boring yes, but after 20 years of that, I was very accustomed to it. Now I find myself trying to come up with things for him to do where he can't cause too much damage.
He has no interest in learning how to cook. He refuses to spend the movie to go to a movie.
He plays no sports. What does he do? He watches FOX news 24/7. Yup! My quiet house (I never, ever, turn on day time TV) is now filled with the constant repetition of the same news stories and I am finding them to be very slanted in one direction. I want to pull my hair out and go running into the street screaming "pull out all of the cable lines - I can't take it any more".
But of course, that isn't going to happen.
So I now have this new "appendage" that follows me closer than my own shadow. I turn around and trip over him - several times a day. The sum total of the jobs that he has agreed to do for me is that he now empties the dishwasher. That's it!
I truly think he is going through a form of depression and definitely some shock. So I am really trying not to lose my temper with him. But today I decided to clean out our storage area. It is really a good size area - about 8 X 8 - and we also have a one car garage with lots of storage. The one and only thing in the entire storage room that I can claim as mine, was a box of good clothing that I have saved for a year just in case I re-gained the weight. That went to the local mission today. The only other item in there that we both use is our Christmas tree. EVERYTHING ELSE IN THERE IS HIS! And 95% of it is junk. I called him into the storage room and showed him everything. His reaction? "I know". Does he really need 3 huge boxes of 8 mm movies that his Grandmother took - none of which are labeled? How about the box ( and I weighed this one) that holds 31 pounds of maps from all over the USA.
He can't find his way across town but he may need these maps some day.
God help me! No one else will! I fear for my sanity. And now he has decided - since I am being so nice to him, that he MAY allow me to sleep in the same room with him again. You're kidding, right? WHERE? He rarely finds room to sleep in his own bed. It is piled with papers, boxes and dirty clothes.
Since this has gotten somewhat lengthy, I will depart. Please keep my mental well being in your prayers. Everything my body has gone through, I can handle. But I'm not sure I can survive his retirement.
Monday, August 04, 2014
YOU KNOW, IT'S A FUNNY THING. LIFE JUST CAN'T SEEM TO LET A PERSON BE. IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYONE I KNOW HAS LIVES THAT ARE CONSTANTLY CHANGING. YOU EITHER ADAPT OR LET IT GET THE BETTER OF YOU AND END UP A BITTER, NASTY PERSON. FAR TOO MANY TIMES I HAVE FALLEN INTO THAT CATEGORY. BUT RIGHT NOW, I HAVE TO PLAY NICE OR I WILL GO NUTS.
I HAVE HAD ALL THESE MAJOR HEALTH ISSUES AFTER BEING RUN OVER BY A CAR. DH DIDN'T DO TOO MUCH WHINING ABOUT IT. HE JUST TRASHED THE HOUSE - WHICH IS PAR FOR THE COURSE WITH HIM. I USED TO JUST FOLLOW BEHIND LIKE A PUPPY AND CLEAN IT UP. BUT, WHEN YOU BREAK YOUR NECK LIKE I DID, YOU FIND YOU HAVE TO DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY. WHETHER OR NOT I WILL EVER BE THE SAME REMAINS TO BE SEEN. BUT I HAVE FOUND THAT YOUR CENTER OF GRAVITY CHANGES WHEN YOU CAN'T BEND OVER WITHOUT BENDING YOUR NECK. I TIP OVER VERY EASILY. DH THINKS THIS IS A RIOT AND IS CONSTANTLY LEAVING THINGS IN MY PATH. STINKER!
BUT NOW, HE HAS HIS OWN ISSUES.
WITH NO WARNING AT ALL, LAST THURSDAY, HE WAS TOLD THAT HE WILL NO LONGER BE NEEDED AT HIS JOB. NO SEVERANCE PAY, NO REASON - JUST OUT AND TURN IN YOUR KEYS. WHAT THE HECK? SO HERE HE COMES HOME WITH A WHOLE PICK-UP TRUCK FULL OF YET MORE JUNK TO PUT IN HIS ROOM! YIKES! HE HAS A FULL BED AND CAN ONLY SLEEP ON A THIRD OF IT BECAUSE THAT IS ALL THE ROOM THERE IS. AND NOW HE HAS YET MORE STUFF?
I SUGGESTED GETTING SOME SHELVING FOR THE GARAGE AND STORING THE WORTHWHILE STUFF OUT THERE. AS IF WE DIDN'T ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH WITH 7 COMPUTERS IN THE HOUSE, HE NOW BROUGHT HOME 4 MORE! HIS ROOM LOOKS LIKE MISSION CONTROL. I THINK HE COULD LAND THE SPACE SHUTTLE WITH ALL THE EQUIPMENT HE HAS IN THAT ROOM. AND THAT ZIP LINE THAT I ONCE TALKED ABOUT? WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE I MAY JUST HAVE TO DO IT. BUT WITH MY NECK NOT OPERATING LIKE IT SHOULD, I WOULD PROBABLY CRASH INTO THE WALL AND BREAK MY FACE TO MATCH MY BROKEN NECK!
MY BIGGEST ISSUE IS THAT THE POOR GUY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HIMSELF SO HE FOLLOWS ME AROUND ALL DAY. I HAVE A HARD ENOUGH TIME NOT TRIPPING OVER THINGS AND THEN I TURN AROUND AND STEP ON HIM. HE PLAYS NO SPORTS AND DOESN'T ENJOY WATCHING THEM ON TV. SO WHAT HAS HE BEEN DOING INSTEAD OF CLEANING THE JUNK OUT OF HIS ROOM? HE HAS BEEN LISTENING TO MY OLD TAPES FROM BACK WHEN I HAD MY BAND. OMG! WELCOME TO THE YEAR 2014! THAT WAS MANY YEARS AGO WHEN I WAS YOUNG AND WILD. I SANG THOSE SONGS SO MUCH THAT I AM SICK OF THEM. AH WELL! WE ALL HAVE ADJUSTMENTS TO MAKE.
I ASKED HIM WHAT HE HAD INTENDED TO DO WHEN HE RETIRED. HIS ANSWER? "I NEVER PLANNED TO RETIRE - I THOUGHT I'D DIE ON THE JOB." WOW! NOW THAT'S DEDICATION.
Monday, July 21, 2014
I HAVE A NEW UPSTAIRS NEIGHBOR. SHE SEEMS TO BE A VERY NICE PERSON, BUT SHE HAD ALL WOOD FLOORS PUT IN HER PLACE BEFORE SHE MOVED IN. ALTHOUGH SHE IS OF NORMAL SIZE, SHE WALKS LIKE AN ELEPHANT. DH AND I HAVE TAKEN TO CALLING HER "BIGFOOT".
ORDINARILY, THIS WOULD NOT BE A BIG PROBLEM - WE WOULD GET USED TO THE SOUND OF HER LOUD WALKING AND JUST LIVE WITH IT. BUT! EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND, SHE HAS HER GRANDKIDS FOR THE WHOLE WEEKEND AND NOW SHE HAS THEM FOR THE WHOLE SUMMER. THESE KIDS RUN FROM ONE END OF THE CONDO TO THE OTHER - NON STOP - ALL DAY. WHEN THEY ARE NOT RUNNING, THEY ARE JUMPING OFF THE COUCH TO SEE WHO CAN JUMP THE FARTHEST. WHEN THEY GO OUT ON THE BALCONY, THEY HANG OVER THE RAILING TO SEE WHO CAN GET DOWN THE FARTHEST. THIS IS FROM THE 4TH FLOOR. SHOULD ONE OF THEM FALL, THERE WOULD BE CERTAIN INJURY, IF NOT DEATH.
I HAVE SPOKEN TO HER 5 TIMES ABOUT THE NOISE. IT DIDN'T HELP. SHE SAYS THERE IS NOTHING FOR THE KIDS TO DO IF THEY JUST SIT AROUND. HOW ABOUT BOARD GAMES OR A NICE KIDS MOVIE ON TV OR IN THE DVD PLAYER OR VCR? SHE DOESN'T BELIEVE IN THEM. SHE IS SOME OFF THE WALL RELIGION THAT DOESN'T BELIEVE IN TV.
AFTER GETTING NO RESULTS FROM HER, I SPOKE TO MANAGEMENT - 3 TIMES. THEY IN TURN, TALKED TO HER. STILL THE NOISE CONTINUES. SO I LOOKED UP THE CHARTER IN OUR CONDO BY-LAWS AND FOUND THAT WE HAVE A "NUISANCE ORDINANCE". THIS IS A 55+ CONDO COMMUNITY. MANY OTHER PEOPLE KEEP THEIR GRANDKIDS BUT NONE OF THEM ARE AS DISRUPTIVE AS THESE 4 ARE. WHY? THEY TAKE THEM OUT TO PLAY OR TO THE PARK DOWN THE STREET. SOME EVEN HAVE A SMALL POOL FOR THEM TO SPLASH IN. NO ONE IS DISTURBED BY THESE OTHER KIDS.
SO I WENT TO THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS FOR THE CONDO. THEY TOO TALKED TO HER AND INFORMED HER THAT SHE CAN ACTUALLY BE FINED FOR VIOLATING THE NOISE ORDINANCE. BY THIS TIME, SHE WAS REALLY HATING ME. SHE SPENT A SMALL FORTUNE TO REMODEL THAT CONDO AND DOESN'T SEE WHY SHE CAN'T DO AS SHE PLEASES IN IT. SO I SUGGESTED THAT, PERHAPS, SHE COULD GO TO THE HOME OF ONE OR THE OTHER OF THE KIDS AND HAVE THEM ALL OVER THERE UNTIL THEIR PARENTS CAME HOME FROM WORK. THE PARENTS DIDN'T LIKE THAT IDEA BECAUSE THEY FELT THE KIDS WOULD MAKE TOO BIG A MESS. TOUGH! SO MUCH FOR ARBITRATION! BUT THEN I CAME UP WITH A PLAN.
I DECIDED TO "KILL HER WITH KINDNESS". NOTHING ELSE I DID SEEMED TO WORK. SO I WENT SHOPPING OVER THE WEEKEND AND GOT ALL KINDS OF SMALL THINGS THAT THE KIDS COULD DO - A CHECKER BOARD, A GAME OF CHUTES AND LADDERS, AN UNO GAME, DOMINOS, COLORING BOOKS WITH THE CRAYONS THAT WON'T MARK UP FLOORS OR TABLES. I GOT EVERY SMALL THING I COULD THINK OF AND THEN TOOK THEM UP TO HER. I ALSO ASKED HER IF SHE WOULD LIKE ME TO TAKE HER TO THE LIBRARY TO GET A LIBRARY CARD SO SHE COULD PICK OUT BOOKS AND READ TO THE KIDS. I ASKED HER TO LET THE KIDS HAVE ONLY ONE NEW THING EACH DAY SO THEY WOULDN'T GET EASILY BORED. THEN I TOOK HER TO LUNCH.
IT HAS BEEN AMAZINGLY QUIET UP THERE. OCCASIONALLY ONE OF THE KIDS WILL STILL JUMP OFF THE FURNITURE, BUT OTHER THAN THAT, SHE HAS THEM EITHER BAREFOOT OR IN THEIR SOCKS RATHER THAN THE CLUNKY SHOES. SHE HAS TAKEN THEM TO THE PARK DOWN THE STREET (WHICH SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WAS THERE) AND BY THE TIME THEY GET BACK, THEY ARE TIRED; EAT SOME LUNCH AND TAKE A NAP. I GUESS YOU REALLY DO ATTRACT MORE BEES WITH HONEY THAN YOU DO WITH VINEGAR.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
OK! I HAVE HAD IT ALREADY! CAN I NOT CATCH A BREAK HERE TO SAVE MY SOUL? HERE I WAS ALL SET TO GO HOME AND THEY TOOK THE COLLAR OFF ME SO I COULD GET DRESSED EASIER. I WOULD HAVE TO PUT IT BACK ON, BUT STILL ..... I STRETCHED UP MY ARM TO PUT ON MY NEW SPORTS BRA AND I HEARD A CRUNCH AND SO DID THE NURSE. SHE TOLD ME NOT TO MOVE AND SAT ME ON THE BED AND PUSHED THE EMERGENCY CODE BLUE BUTTON. WONDERFUL! NOW WHAT?
I SWEAR I ONLY MOVED MY HEAD A FRACTION OF AN INCH AND A PIECE OF BONE THAT MUST HAVE BEEN CRACKED, SNAPPED OFF AND CRUNCHED IN MY NECK. DOCTORS ARE COMING FROM EVERYWHERE AND THIS POOR NURSE IS HOLDING MY HEAD STILL WHILE AND I AM COMPLETELY UNCLOTHED EXCEPT FOR A PAIR OF UNDIES. AWKWARD!
SO BACK DOWN TO C.A.T. SCAN ONLY TO FIND THAT I NOW OFFICIALLY HAVE A BROKEN NECK! WHAT? I CAN STILL MOVE ALL MY LIMBS. MY MOUTH WORKS WELL ENOUGH (I SURE TALK WELL AND OFTEN) SO NOW WHAT? THEY DECIDE TO STABILIZE MY NECK IN AN ARTHROSCOPIC PROCEDURE AND SEND ME HOME WITH THE COLLAR. OK - GO FOR IT. BUT FIRST I WANTED TO TAKE AS MUCH ADVANTAGE OF THIS AS I COULD. SO I DID A NUMBER ON POOR DH.
"YOU DO KNOW HONEY, I WON'T BE ABLE TO DO MUCH WHEN I GET HOME. I'M SURE YOU HAVE HAD SOMEONE COME IN AND CLEAN THE WHOLE PLACE AND PRACTICALLY STERILIZE MY BATHROOM AND BEDROOM. AND I KNOW THERE IS NO ROTTEN FOOD IN THE FRIDGE AND IT IS STOCKED WELL WITH ANYTHING I WILL NEED TO RECOVER AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE." I GOT A LITTLE HUMMING AND THROAT CLEARING WHICH BASICALLY TOLD ME THAT I COULD GO BLOW SMOKE IF I THOUGHT HE WOULD HIRE SOMEONE TO DO ALL THAT. SO I ADDED THAT I WOULD HATE TO HAVE TO HURT HIM BY POSTING PICTURES ON FACEBOOK OF WHAT A SLOB HE IS. ALL HIS FRIENDS AND CO-WORKERS WOULD SEE IT ..... LET ME TELL YOU, I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH TERROR IN MY LIFE AS I SAW ON HIS FACE. "YOU, YOU WOULDN'T REALLY DO THAT ..." OH YEAH! BIG TIME!
SO I JUST GOT HOME TO A NICE CLEAN APARTMENT FULLY STOCKED WITH LOTS OF FRESH FRUITS AND VEGGIES AND HE EVEN GOT ME SOME NEW WAX FOR MY SCENSI BURNER THING. JUST FOR THE HECK OF IT, I PEEKED INTO HIS ROOM AND OMG! I THINK HE HID EVERYTHING THAT HE HAD STREWN ALL OVER THE CONDO, IN HIS ROOM AND HE MAY NOT BE ABLE TO FIND HIS BED TONIGHT.
I AM SO GLAD I DID NOT SETTLE WITH THAT INSURANCE COMPANY FROM THE DRIVER. IT LOOKS LIKE THIS MAY TAKE AWHILE TO HEAL AND IT IS EVEN AFFECTING MY VISION BUT THAT COULD STILL BE LEFT OVER FROM THE SURGERY.
SO I GUESS THE ONLY THING THAT I STILL DON'T HAVE IS PROSTATE TROUBLE. AND IF I GET THAT, TRUST ME, THREE WISE MEN WILL E COMING FROM THE EAST!
Thursday, June 12, 2014
I was so darn proud of myself. Instead of using a riding cart at the grocery store, I actually walked all the way through and pushed my own cart out to my car. I heard a car start up but saw no tail lights lit so I kept going to my car and BAM! My cart kept going and I was on the ground under some little tiny car. And wow - did my head ever hurt. But really, nothing else hurt all that much to think anything was broken.
Then this stupid person, realizing she had hit something, decided to pull forward again to see what it was. Some guy was screaming at her not to move the car, but she did anyhow. Now that one I felt. Turned out that the guy doing the yelling had been a medic in Afghanistan (thank you God). He told someone to call 911 and held my head like it was in a vice and kept telling me not to move.
You know how they say that weird stuff goes through your head in times of an emergency? OK! Weird stuff goes through my head all the time! But at that exact moment, I thought of two things. 1 - This guy is really cute and 2 - They darn well better not have broken the eggs I bought. I swear that's what I thought.
I could hear sirens and Mr. Cutie Pie asked me who he should call for me. I told him my smart phone was in my pocket. He had someone else get it out. For those of you that have smart phones, trust me on this one. Spend the extra $100.00 to get the "Lifeproof" case. My phone worked just fine and didn't have a scratch on it. The cases are not attractive, but very, very sturdy.
The rescue squad was there by then and I could hear the guys talking. This exact same thing had happened 2 months ago at another store in town within this same chain. Only that lady died. And again, it was someone over 90 driving. In this state, they are in the process of enacting laws saying everyone over 65 needs to take a behind the wheel test each time their license is renewed. Too bad it hadn't passed sooner.
If you have never had to wear one, those big rubber-type blocks that they put your head in and the big plastic cervical collar are not only tacky to look at ( not the least bit fashionable) but very sweaty and uncomfortable. At least I thought it was sweat but I guess I sweat red since that was what was running in my eyes. But I never lost consciousness.
The paramedic wanted to give my a little morphine but I told him I didn't need it. I think he thought I must have had a severe head injury. No - I just have a very high tolerance for pain.
And thank God I was alert enough to tell them that I could not have an MRI because I had too much metal in my upper chest and in my back and legs. So C.A.T. scan it was. The only areas of concern were my right side, head and hands. But there was so much swelling that it was difficult to tell if anything was broken without an MRI. So they decided to do a P.E.T. scan instead.
If you have never had one of these, they are very cool. They inject you with this radionuclide medication and you stand very still while this machine goes round and round you. I could see the images on a screen in front of me. Any areas of concern lit up like a Christmas tree. I remember dh having these with his cancer. That's how they found the three last fingers on my right hand were broken and the thumb on my left hand. Have you ever tried to pull up your undies with 4 splints on your hands? It is an adventure to behold. I have already sent a friend out to buy me some over-the head sports bras as there is no possible way to hook a bra with these silly splints.
Now! Here is where I was really blessed. The lady that was killed in the other parking lot, was hit by a Honda Pilot. That is a huge vehicle. What I got hit by was not much larger than a tonka toy. It was a brand new Ford Festiva. Didn't even have license plates on it yet. I think I could have fit it in my purse if I tried. The problem is, they ride very low to the ground. Not a good winter car for this part of the country. But when she backed over me the first time, my hair got caught on the clamp-ring that holds the muffler on. So when she pulled forward again; instant Indian. Not only am I 1/2 Indian by birth, but I had just been scalped.
Now I know this is cruel. But a police officer at the scene asked me if I wanted to press charges against this woman and I said yes. At that time, I had no idea what injuries I had or how much doctoring I would need. So I figured I would need a police report for insurance purposes. See? Not too bad thinking for road kill!
Dh didn't make it to the hospital until after 5 that night. I was at the store about 8 AM. I asked him where the heck he had been and in typical fashion for him he said, "I couldn't very well just close the store when I had customers there." So I told him I would punch him in the face if he didn't get on Spark and notify all of you of what was going on. When I think of it now, had I punched him (as if I really would); imagine how that would have hurt my broken fingers. But I think he is afraid of me since I am tougher than him. So he did bring out his laptop and post to all of you.
So now, I am a lovely assortment of colors ranging fro green, yellow to black and a beautiful dark purple. I had a nurse take a picture of that purple because I think I would love to paint my bedroom that color. The picture, however, would not be appropriate to post as much of what all God gave me would be visible for all too see and trust me, it is not pretty.
I have to wear this stupid cervical collar until my head heals. My hair feels so grossly dirty but I can't wash it yet. They want to be sure the reattachment took. But they are sick of my complaining so I get to go home tomorrow. Yes i ache all over, but think about it. I could have very well been paralyzed from the neck down. I actually have an imprint of a tire right across the back of my neck and one super ugly hairdo. But I am thankful that I can feel the discomfort - it means I am still alive and kicking. OK! I am not kicking very high but I am kicking. And I get P.T. again that insurance will pay for. Fortunately, in this state insurance is mandatory and the driver does have some. Her insurance company has been in to see me three times offering a settlement. I told the hospital to bar them from my room. I have no idea what my bills will be yet or if there will be any lasting damaging.
I am not a litigious person. But I do expect that company to pay my Dr. and hospital bills and if I should need any extra equipment at home, they should pay for that too. I will be having a nursing service stop in three times a day since dh will not take off from work. And that is fine.
But I better not go home to a messy house. I cleaned it the day before I got hit. But he is known to spread junk everywhere in minutes if I am not there to yell at him. Neighbors have dropped off casseroles, bread, and other goodies. I told dh to freeze them all. We only have an 18 cubic foot fridge so he had to have another neighbor but some of the stuff in her freezer that she has in a second bedroom. She was smart and froze it all in individual serving containers. I owe her big time.
I did read his posts since I had to dictate most of it. But I can't believe he signed off with his title. What a guy. He did visit me twice while I was up there but only so he could get some free lunch and went right back to work. Thank God for my Kindle and smart phone. What did we ever do before these marvelous inventions?
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