SUNSHINE65   66,904
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The Perks of Being Over 50

Monday, December 15, 2014

-- Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

-- In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.

-- No one expects you to run into a burning building.

-- People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"

-- People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

-- There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

-- Things you buy now won't wear out.

-- You can eat dinner at 4 PM.

-- You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

-- You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

-- You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

-- You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

-- You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

-- You sing along with the elevator music.

-- Your eyes won't get much worse.

-- Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

-- Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

-- Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

-- Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSDAISY23 12/15/2014 11:34PM

    I am already enjoying all the perks of being over 50! emoticon

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PDSLIM 12/15/2014 11:23PM

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DALID414 12/15/2014 9:31PM

    emoticon Can't wait!

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MOM2ACAT 12/15/2014 6:52PM

    Love this! I just turned 51 in September.

And yes, I have had people call me at 9pm and wake me, lol!

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IMUSTLOSEIT1 12/15/2014 12:40PM

    Yup, they all happen, And I am enjoying everyone of them.

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VEG954 12/15/2014 9:36AM

  Only one of the shoe fits...
In my 70's and still going strong.

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GOLDENRODFARM 12/15/2014 5:59AM

    emoticon emoticon

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EVIE4NOW 12/15/2014 5:49AM

  Gotta love these if the shoe fits. If it doesn't yet, trust me, it will. lol

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MYAKAYAH 12/15/2014 3:49AM

    emoticon emoticon

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Tracking the Weather

Sunday, December 14, 2014

It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a Chief in a modern society he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.

But being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?"

It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again. Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?

Yes, the man at National Weather Service again replied, it's going to be a very cold winter.

The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find. Two weeks later the Chief called the National Weather Service again. Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?

Absolutely, the man replied. It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever.

"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.

The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSDAISY23 12/15/2014 12:33AM

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PDSLIM 12/14/2014 8:37PM

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DALID414 12/14/2014 6:45PM

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AQUAGIRL08 12/14/2014 5:57PM

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IMUSTLOSEIT1 12/14/2014 11:02AM

    That sound about right.

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GINNABOOTS 12/14/2014 9:06AM

    That was very funny, thank you for making me laugh so early in the morning.

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VEG954 12/14/2014 8:40AM

  Thanks for starting my day with a chuckle!

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MYAKAYAH 12/14/2014 8:22AM

    LOL, I love your funny blogs makes me smile or chuckle every time :)~

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GOLDENRODFARM 12/14/2014 6:29AM

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SWEETNEEY 12/14/2014 4:38AM

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SUZZINH 12/14/2014 1:03AM

  I loved ur post i am Cherokee and when i was at my drs appt i heard the older people saying it is going to be a very cold winter i just hope they r wrong lol emoticon

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Weather Stone

Thursday, December 11, 2014

  
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MISSDAISY23 12/15/2014 12:34AM

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VEG954 12/12/2014 9:18PM

  LOL!

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MYAKAYAH 12/12/2014 12:45AM

    I've seen one of these on my travels before~

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DALID414 12/12/2014 12:02AM

    We have one of these nearby! So funny.

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Oh Yah...

Thursday, December 11, 2014

  
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RASPBERRY56 12/12/2014 4:36AM

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IMUSTLOSEIT1 12/11/2014 10:08PM

    I am right there with you.

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A few laffs

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

In Court

My boss is without peer when it comes to the rules and regulations that customs officials must follow. But when it comes to the law, well, that's a different story.

We were attending a court case in which we were prosecuting a smuggler. The judge asked the court, "Who is making these allegations?"

My boss stood up and proclaimed, "I am the alligator, your honor."


The Manager

Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a friendly, jovial man. But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him--his height. Or, should I say, his lack of it.

One day he stormed through the door and announced angrily, "Someone just picked my pocket!"

Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless, except for one who blurted out, "How could anyone stoop so low?"



Eye Surgery

Working in an ophthalmology practice that specializes in LASIK surgery, I am expected to comfort nervous patients. But prior to one operation, the patient was so nervous she was actually shaking.

Nothing I said to her would comfort her so after the doctor finished on the first eye and before he began on the second I wanted her to know the surgery was going well.

There, I said, patting her hand reassuringly, "Now you only have one eye left."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NASFKAB 12/13/2014 12:23AM

  so funny thanks for sharing

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VEG954 12/10/2014 9:41PM

  LOL LOL LOL!!!

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GARDENCHRIS 12/10/2014 6:43PM

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IMUSTLOSEIT1 12/10/2014 1:39PM

    I bet that didn't go over well.

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TWEETYKC00 12/10/2014 7:09AM

    lol

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