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SUPER_CIARA's Recent Blog Entries

Halfway Done!

Monday, September 01, 2014

I'm officially halfway done losing the weight I want to lose. I'm also out of the 180s and back in the 170s again, which is very nice. Well, beyond very nice. There's really no words for it. It's a huge relief. I feel like I'm making progress again. Momentarily last month I was afraid that I was doomed to gain back all 73 pounds that I'd lost when I gained those 12 pounds. For a second I thought, "Ok, here it is, I'm not going to be able to stop gaining weight now." And then it felt like I was in the 180's FOREVER and maybe I always would be (I even had the conversation with myself at one point that I might have to consider 189 my stopping point and quit trying to lose any more weight, but that thought was momentary), even though it was only June-August that I was in the 180's. But, in August I lost 11 of the 12 pounds that I'd gained in July. With a little more work I should be able to shave off that extra pound and be all caught up. And being 179 puts me at the halfway point in my weight loss journey. But, the best part is that now I don't feel doomed anymore. I don't feel like I am fated to gain back all the weight that I lost--in fact I feel capable again of reaching all my goals and have all the energy and drive to keep losing more weight. And it's going to be a LOT more fun losing weight again now that I'm going to be losing pounds in the 170 range rather than losing weight I've already lost before.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REALITYCHECK86 9/7/2014 4:33AM

    Yay!! I'm so happy for you. You are AMAZING and I'm confident you can do anything you put your mind to. It's so inspiring to see how much progress you've made. I know in the moment when the scale goes up, or when it just hasn't moved for a while, it can feel like you must be doomed to fail. But you stuck with it and look at where you are. I hope you had a good little celebration, and remember not to sell yourself short.
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WHYTEBROWN 9/4/2014 12:25PM

    emoticon emoticon on losing those 11 pounds and being half-way done with your weight loss!! emoticon You're doing such an emoticon job. I'm looking forward to cheering you to for the next half of your journey which I'm sure you'll do emoticon at. emoticon emoticon

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HONEYBEESBLISS 9/2/2014 3:11PM

    Yay! Good job! It's nice to not feel doomed but in control and it's weird sometimes to see how much we really do have control and can simply make a better choice at any moment! I am grateful to have gotten rid of that horrible doomed to being overweight feeling it's the worst! And I am so happy for you too! You totally got this!

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BEACHCALSIX 9/2/2014 1:07PM

    emoticon getting yourself back down again. That's not an easy thing to do at all! I gained about 2 lbs around my vacation and just that little water fluctuation really got me down and I thought I would be stuck there forever! Patience and time really is the key to this journey!
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BLUEEYESCANADA 9/2/2014 10:14AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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IDICEM 9/2/2014 7:13AM

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PURPLEBIRD63 9/2/2014 12:32AM

    You're doing emoticon

Keep it up emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 9/1/2014 9:07PM

    You have your focus and are doing well with it!''

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PHEBESS 9/1/2014 12:27PM

    Good job!!!!!!!!!

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1JACKIE542 9/1/2014 11:42AM

    emoticon emoticon

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LIVINGLOVINLIFE 9/1/2014 11:28AM

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WORKNPROGRESS49 9/1/2014 9:04AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NANCY- 9/1/2014 8:43AM

    You go girl! Perspective is everything.
You've got this.
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OXYGEN9 9/1/2014 7:09AM

    emoticon and emoticon I'm halfway done too. We can do this and have fun along the way too!

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NINAHAPPYHEART 9/1/2014 6:54AM

    emoticon emoticon
You gave me hope that i can lose weight again if i persist on what i'm doing.
Thanks for sharing emoticon

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IDICEM 9/1/2014 6:13AM

  Congrats on hitting the halfway mark! You can and will make your goal!!
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NYARAMULA 9/1/2014 6:13AM

    emoticon emoticon

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ICECUB 9/1/2014 5:30AM

    emoticon it is not over as long as you don't give up. you are doing good. .everyone has these little setbacks just keep at it.

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DAIZYSTARLITE 9/1/2014 5:02AM

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Stop Waiting Until You Feel Like It And Just Do It

Friday, August 29, 2014



Sometimes I'm not motivated. I have days where I just don't feel like it. Salad doesn't look good and I'd rather watch cartoons with my son than walk nine miles. But, being able to get through that feeling and get back in the game is a big part of being successful. And one of my goals for September is to "just do it" even when I don't feel like doing it. It's my goal to add 20 minutes of activity into each day doing whatever I can, even if it's just being out of my chair for 20 minutes. The goal is to not be sitting. Hopefully this will translate to time on the elliptical or some yoga or kickboxing, but even just cleaning or walking around the house is fine as long as I'm not plopped in a chair somewhere.

I've been drinking my 8 glasses of water regularly and feeling good, so my next goal is to try to raise up my protein, something I'll slowly work on throughout September. I'll be devising some new meal plans focused around getting plenty of protein and see how I'm feeling in October.
And, in October--October 19--it will be a year since I started trying to lose weight. I am not sure I will make it to 80 pounds--we will see--but I will have made it to 70 pounds at least, and that's a good amount to have lost in a year. I'm pleased overall with my progress so far and I will keep at it for another year and see where I am then.

Other goals for September include overall getting more organized. List-keeping again and sticking with my lists, getting more accomplished during the day and doing so consistently. Being as productive as possible during September. Starting a cross-stitch habit again would be nice if possible.

Basically in the coming month I plan on working hard. Nothing worth having comes easy. I've made a lot of progress so far but there's a lot of pounds to go yet so there's a lot of work yet to be done.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REALITYCHECK86 9/7/2014 4:43AM

    I like this blog. I think I needed to see this. I need to get back in the swing of things for September, take one day at a time and just make my goals happen. Thanks for the pick-me-up as usual!
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FORZACHANDMATT 9/4/2014 7:41PM

    By the way, I also meant to say I think you are awesome - 70lbs - WOW!!!

Just do it!!

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WHYTEBROWN 9/4/2014 12:36PM

    emoticon blog and emoticon progress. You have accomplished so much already and you're consistently working to achieve more. emoticon emoticon

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NANCY- 8/30/2014 11:51AM

    You have made so many changes and come so far, be proud and go forth!!!

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IDICEM 8/30/2014 6:52AM

  emoticon

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ICECUB 8/29/2014 6:37PM

    JUST DO IT!!

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KATELJM 8/29/2014 12:53PM

    emoticon And once you start exercising, you remember you actually enjoy it, don't you!

Love your blog!

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1CRAZYDOG 8/29/2014 12:51PM

    That's it . . . just do it!

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KIRSTENLYNN62 8/29/2014 11:35AM

    Great Blog! thanks for posting it! emoticon

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PURPLEBIRD63 8/29/2014 11:30AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FORZACHANDMATT 8/29/2014 11:13AM

    Thanks for the reminders

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PHEBESS 8/29/2014 11:01AM

    Absolutely agreed!

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WORKNPROGRESS49 8/29/2014 8:27AM

    emoticon emoticon

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SLIMMERJESSE 8/29/2014 8:21AM

    Nice blog.

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Staying On Track

Wednesday, August 20, 2014


Since getting back on track, I have stayed on track and been working hard, getting results slowly but surely. On Saturday, a very hot day, I had a second birthday celebration with my sister and some friends out at a campsite in town and then later in the evening I drove out to Eau Claire to celebrate some more with my friend Bryan, all of which amounted to a day of drinking probably upwards of two gallons of water since I don't drink alcohol anymore and having a very excellent day overall which made up for the blues I was feeling earlier in the week. It also led to some weight loss. In the interest of keeping this weight off, I've been drinking plenty of water, moving as often as possible, and I bought some Tibetan Sorig Stress incense which helps alleviate mental stress & strains which is what usually triggers a lot of my depressions and weight gain. It seems to be helping.

One thing that's really been helping me to stay on track lately is my UP24. It's been giving me these alerts to let me know things like in the past two weeks I've averaged a yellow Food Score of 7.9/10 which means I've been eating a fair amount of healthy nutrients (eating oatmeal with brown sugar in the mornings and string cheese in the afternoon always brings my score down) so if I add more veggies to my diet my score will go green, and on Wednesdays I always beat both my move and sleep goals. As time goes by it's been learning more things about me and giving me more information about myself and my fitness, sleep, and eating, which is really motivating! My habits have been getting healthier and consequently I've been feeling a lot better, which propels me forward. And I credit a lot of my success lately to just drinking enough water. It's still hard to pass up unhealthy food, but it's getting a lot easier to make better choices, especially when I'm trying to get a good food score for the day.

This is my new mantra. I am really trying to keep in mind that what matters is what I'm doing right now, in the present, and the only way I'm going to lose the rest of this weight is if I continue to take steps towards being healthy right now, not tomorrow. So, when I'm tempted to stray from my meal plan I drink some water instead and think about what I'm doing before I do it, if I really want to do that to myself. Exercise doesn't seem to be too much of a problem these days. I have gotten addicted to walking. I do nine miles and right away I want to do twelve. But, I know I need to make time to do other things, too, but walking is fun!

I am really putting in the work these days. I have learned to stop being upset about not getting results when I haven't worked as hard as I could have. You get out of it what you put into it, so I'm putting in as much as I can. Hoping to reach the 70-lb mark again in the next couple of days, that would make me really happy. And just making a point to appreciate and enjoy every day and whatever it brings.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FANNYMANSON 8/28/2014 12:06PM

    I love your commitment to creating a healthier body to live in. I am googling that incense, Lord knows I could use some stress relief! And wow! 9 miles is very impressive! Way to go!
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NANCY- 8/23/2014 10:29AM

    Love your attitude.
Congrats, wish I could think about what I'm doing before I do it. That is Major.

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KATELJM 8/21/2014 6:40PM

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BLUEEYESCANADA 8/21/2014 2:57PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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IDICEM 8/21/2014 11:33AM

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BESSHAILE 8/21/2014 7:40AM

    Oh so true - that we need to focus on the NOW. I am telling myself that "tonight, if I have a glass of wine, I'll pass on the ice cream" I'm not thinking about the rest of my life. Just for tonight.

cheers for the birthday fun.

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WHYTEBROWN 8/20/2014 10:16PM

    emoticon WOW!!! You are doing such an emoticon job!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/20/2014 10:16:44 PM

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PURPLEBIRD63 8/20/2014 9:42PM

    You're doing awesome!
Do you walk 9 miles a day, every day?

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-WRKNG2ABTTRME- 8/20/2014 7:23PM

    emoticon

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HONEYBEESBLISS 8/20/2014 6:13PM

    YUP totally agree! You get out what you put in! And it's today that counts! Pretty soon the choices will be habits and pretty easy to keep going!
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WORKNPROGRESS49 8/20/2014 5:50PM

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VEG954 8/20/2014 5:19PM

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LIVINGLOVINLIFE 8/20/2014 4:42PM

    Sounds like you are doing great. I haven't done the best this week with eating healthy. Not really going over calorie limits just not making healthy choices all the time. No wonder the scale is stuck. I have got to do better. So glad you are feeling better. Have a wonderful evening.

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1CRAZYDOG 8/20/2014 4:34PM

    Good attitude adjustment! It is so true, that we cannot expect to see result if we don't put the work in.

Glad that your UP is helping you stay on track a little more. Awesome.

HUGS

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ICECUB 8/20/2014 4:27PM

    emoticon YOU WILL GET THERE. WAY TO GO WITH EXERCISING. emoticon

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UKNOWITNOW 8/20/2014 4:21PM

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Back On Track

Friday, August 15, 2014



Since gaining some extra on my birthday, I am now back down to 185.0, the weight I was previously at before my birthday, so I am officially back on track. From here I can start focusing on the next pound and moving forward. I am feeling better and doing much better overall. I've really been working on taking it one day at a time, one meal at a time, one workout at a time. And taking my focus off of how far I have yet to go and instead putting it on how far I've come and all that I've accomplished so far. Thinking about how well I'm doing right now and enjoying working to meet my goals. Drinking my 8 glasses of water a day has certainly been beneficial to me; I've felt a lot healthier and more energetic since I started drinking the water and it's something I want to stick with for as long as I can. I just feel a lot better since replacing soda with water. I've saved a lot of calories, too. I've also been working to make my meal plans as enjoyable as possible. I find that I do like having regular meal times, knowing that at a particular time during the day I will have a meal instead of just eating randomly. I am also becoming very dependent on logging my food. In the morning right away I make a meal plan for the day using the Spark nutrition tracker and that gives me an idea of how many calories I'll be eating that day and then I input my food as I eat it on my UP band app. I've been doing pretty well with this lately. I've been staying within my calorie range for the day for the past few days and my weight has reflected that. I feel like I've been making real progress, getting a lot healthier, and I've had the energy to walk nine miles every day the past few days, too. Feels good to get in those fitness minutes.

Another area I've been working on lately is my sleep. I've just hit a five-day streak of getting 8-hours of sleep a night. It's been my goal to develop a good sleep schedule and get the right amount of shut-eye every night. So I feel like being more energized is also due to getting more sleep at night. I've had to bump back my bedtime an hour and a half most nights in order to get the sleep, but it's something I'm working on and I feel a lot better for it.

Mood-wise I've been doing better, but still a little bit anxious. The anxiety is mostly due right now to Fritzy being at his dad's. It's hard for me when he's not home. But, this is something I'm working on, one of the reasons I'm developing this routine with my eating and exercise, sleep and journaling so that I have something clear to focus on when he's not home.

But for right now things are going well and I'm meeting my goals. I can only keep striving to continually do that. To keep on moving forward, little step by little step.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRLTAZ 8/18/2014 9:13PM

    Feeling great for you. Keep it up !

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BLUEEYESCANADA 8/17/2014 9:36PM

    emoticon You are doing awesome in every area of your life. Keeping looking ahead and not behind will help you reach your goals for sure. emoticon

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IDICEM 8/16/2014 11:48PM

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NANCY- 8/16/2014 9:36AM

    emoticon
Love how you found what is working for you.
Keep On Sparking!!!
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ICECUB 8/15/2014 9:54PM

    emoticon emoticon KEEP LOOKING FORWARD

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KAYDE53 8/15/2014 9:15PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
I know you meet your goals!!

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1CRAZYDOG 8/15/2014 8:45PM

    good for you! Proud of all your efforts.

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WHYTEBROWN 8/15/2014 1:35PM

    emoticon emoticon on being back on track. Those habits that you're building and working on sound emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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2BDYNAMIC 8/15/2014 12:55PM

    As one member already stated ........... "Don't wait until you reach goal to feel proud" ...... Every step is in the right direction and btw: you always have the best pictures on your blogs! emoticon

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HONEYBEESBLISS 8/15/2014 12:52PM

    Good job on everything! You should be proud of how far you've come and how well you are doing! Like one of my fave quotes says "Don't Wait Until You've Reached Your Goal To Be Proud Of Yourself. Be Proud Of Every Step You Take Toward Reaching That Goal." - Unknown

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LALATIDAH 8/15/2014 12:47PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WORKNPROGRESS49 8/15/2014 12:14PM

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Birthday Blues

Tuesday, August 12, 2014



In the few days surrounding my birthday and especially on my birthday, which was yesterday, I was feeling particularly depressed. I couldn't enjoy it at all, and I didn't feel well enough to do anything at all. It rained most of the morning, which was apt, but the day was pleasant enough and I should have been happy, but being bipolar I, sometimes I just can't enjoy anything no matter how pleasant it may be. My son got me a singing card and also sang to me, which was very amazing in all reality, and I got jewelry, which I didn't have the emotional capacity to love until this morning, and my sweet cousin got me a food scale which remotivated me this morning and I spent a good chunk of time playing with at four this morning when I got up and made expensive coffee and felt something like human emotion again. I did pay a price for being so unmotivated and depressed--despite medication, which is sad, sometimes--which was gaining a little weight and I think I was depressed to begin with because I hadn't lost a pound that I'd wanted to lose (or maybe not), so one would think gaining some weight would make me REALLY depressed, but oddly I actually felt better this morning than I had in a while. I felt a certain preparedness. I thought about the mistake that I had made in my behaviour and action this birthday week and considered that no amount of guilt could change that, nor would any amount of worry change what challenges were yet to come, but that I had the choice of what I could do next.

And I really think it doesn't matter so much how long it takes me to get to where I'm going as long as I still get there. I haven't given up yet, nor do I have any intentions of doing so just because of an imperfect week. One of the things I do realize I will have to deal with from time to time is depression, no matter how good my medication is or isn't, and if I have to take a couple of steps backwards because of that, I will always make up for it when I am feeling better.

Yet, I am always trying to learn something from my bouts of depression, in hopes that I can deal better with it the next time it comes around. Unfortunately, when it does come around, it's always so all encompassing and deep that I'm never able to manage it much or for very long until the mood itself swells and turns back around, but it's something I've been working on trying to recognize so at least I know when it's there. And, I suppose I'm not too concerned about having gained a little because I'm just relieved to be feeling better so soon (doubtless due to being on medication that does its best in these situations), that it was a short bit of madness, a small price paid, and I have a chance to make up the difference and make some progress again.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REALITYCHECK86 8/17/2014 4:36AM

    I do not have bipolar disorder, but I have suffered from depression. I was depressed for most of my childhood and into my adult life, mostly without realizing it. I know what it's like to have the world not look as bright and colorful as it should. I know it isn't the same, I just wanted to say I can relate to some of the things you mentioned in your blog. I'm glad your medications are able to help you get through the tough times faster.

You always manage to express so much wisdom in your blogs, I think that because of your spirituality and the fact that you take time to think about and write about your experiences, has put you leagues above so many others who suffer from similar issues. It's easy to get lost in the fog of depression and not be able to really reflect on anything. Your writing tells me that you do find a way, even if it's later on, to reflect and understand yourself. I love that you don't let it defeat you! Keep sharing your wisdom, I'm listening.
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Comment edited on: 8/17/2014 4:37:04 AM

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2BDYNAMIC 8/14/2014 4:13PM

    Happy belated birthday ........... I am sorry it was disappointing but what a sweet son you have .................. the musical card and singing .................. What a little guy! Sorry I missed your day .......... emoticon

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STRONGERLEANER 8/13/2014 1:14PM

    Happy Belated Birthday!

Sounds like you're doing better now and it's okay to celebrate little-by-little!
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DSHONEYC 8/13/2014 11:22AM

    Belated emoticon

Depression is serious...but you can get through it. You are loved! emoticon

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NANCY- 8/13/2014 7:22AM

    Belated birthday wishes! Sometimes it is difficult to deal with our perspectives. WTG on sticking with it and doing what you can when you can. You are a ray of sunshine even when it rains.

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WORKNPROGRESS49 8/12/2014 9:05PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 8/12/2014 3:44PM

    Awwww, major hugs first of all.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Happy belated birthday to you!

There is something daunting sometimes about thinking about being a year older. I don't know why. Who knows why. But glad you're feeling better today.

HUGS!

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HONEYBEESBLISS 8/12/2014 12:06PM

    Um I dunno why it posted my comment twice, feel free to delete the extra and this one! Sorry!

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HONEYBEESBLISS 8/12/2014 12:05PM

    I love your attitude looking back that you try to learn from it and move on. There really is no use living in the past but we can make right now as good as it can be and we can try to help our future be better. You can totally get that tiny bit of gain back off, no problem! At least you know what's happening. I think it would be worse had you gone through that without that awareness. I hate when I go through little bouts of depression too since everyone does but not like what you experience though with bi-polar. I'm just proud of you that you take steps to make it better and do what you can. And I'm proud of how you are handling coming out on the other side too!
I try to pin point what sets me off as well so I can do better next time or try and avoid it. For me I've noticed since tracking my sleep with my fitbit that my mood is affected by my sleep too.
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HONEYBEESBLISS 8/12/2014 12:05PM

    I love your attitude looking back that you try to learn from it and move on. There really is no use living in the past but we can make right now as good as it can be and we can try to help our future be better. You can totally get that tiny bit of gain back off, no problem! At least you know what's happening. I think it would be worse had you gone through that without that awareness. I hate when I go through little bouts of depression too since everyone does but not like what you experience though with bi-polar. I'm just proud of you that you take steps to make it better and do what you can. And I'm proud of how you are handling coming out on the other side too!
I try to pin point what sets me off as well so I can do better next time or try and avoid it. For me I've noticed since tracking my sleep with my fitbit that my mood is affected by my sleep too.
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LIVINGLOVINLIFE 8/12/2014 11:56AM

    Hope your day is great. You deserve to have a great life and be happy. Being bi-polar in a down cycle is rough. I hope you stable out soon. Sorry this episode had to happen around your birthday. What a bummer. If I had known it was your birthday I would have baked you a cake (only kidding.) I don't bake too many cakes any more. But I would have wished you emoticon emoticon emoticon .

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BLUEEYESCANADA 8/12/2014 11:18AM

    Happy (belated) Birthday to you. Sunday was my birthday and I also gained a pound. I am still trying to figure out how I did that as I ate what I should and no more.
I like you will continue to keep going and not let anything get in the way to my goal to be more healthy.

You are so worth it!! emoticon emoticon

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IDICEM 8/12/2014 10:57AM

  Depression is tough, but I think it helps that you can talk about it openly. Wishing you a belated happy birthday and a wonderful year ahead!

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GERIKRAGH 8/12/2014 10:53AM

    Good luck. Depression is a hard master.

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PURPLEBIRD63 8/12/2014 10:44AM

    emoticon (belated)

and wishing you a happy day today and all days emoticon emoticon

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4ANEWME2DAY 8/12/2014 10:17AM

    I'm happy you blog about your feelings. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ICECUB 8/12/2014 9:48AM

    emoticon emoticon SOMETIMES WHEN YOU LOOK FORWARD TO SOMETHING FOR A LONG TIME YOU DO GET A LET DOWN. GLAD YOU ARE BACK ON TRACK. SORRY YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS.

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GRLTAZ 8/12/2014 9:33AM

    Well said. I am glad to see you not give up. You are so right in the fact that it does not matter how long it takes you to reach your health goals as long as you are still striving to reach them. This is life long which is sometimes depressing to me but I know in the long run, I am treating my body the best I can, whether or not I eventually meet my "weight" goal. I decided this time around I would make several goals towards health, like drinking enough water, exercising a minimum amount of minutes, enjoying the small things, being grateful for all I have, trying to eat things that balance my blood sugars, etc. Keep pushing girlfriend !

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