Wednesday, July 09, 2014
I am not entirely sure this is an appropriate post but one that needs expressing for myself and others that I know. I grew up a child in the 50's and 60's and discipline and the rod were not spare. (This however is not entirely bad.) I was a strong willed child and very intelligent.
My dad was a weekend alcoholic and the product of strong discipline too. He was abusive physically and mentally with words. I turned to food for comfort as my sister was 7 years younger and no one to talk too. My mother was verbally abused and terrorized by him.
In school I was rejected, because too tall, bigger than most girls and I lived on the wrong side of town. I was placed in classrooms with the wealthier kids due to my intelligence. I was left out a lot. I went home to my comfort food. I used to pop, pop corn in grocery bags full to be consumed. I learned to cook at age 8. I learned to cook my favorite comfort food. At age 11, the whole house chores, babysitting and cooking became my job.
I made great grades and graduated with a 96.5 overall grade; I was rejected from the National Honor Society. Another put down, and like an alcoholic I went to food for comfort.
My dad was diagnosed with cancer in January. He died in July of the same year. I was beaten until I cried and then until I stopped. The reason for the beatings, I did not do something the way he would have done it or my younger sister had done something and I was supposed to be watching her.
The anger, rage, rejection that I felt followed me for years. It affected my job performance and chance for advancement. It produced a very negative response to people and events. It prevented me from standing up for what I knew was right. I had problems facing authority as an adult. I always sought food for comfort.
At age 43, I sought counseling and was able to release some anger but it was not until after two failed marriages that I turned the corner for good. My first two husbands were not physically violent, they were emotionally unavailable and verbally degrading.
After my second husband left, I did a book of self analysis of my life in journal form. I was able to write my feelings about events and to propose a more positive way to approach situations. Fifteen months later I met my soul mate. He became my cheerleader in life.
The anger is gone. I am able to look at the good things my dad provided and smile. I can now face the bad without anger and with a look to the positive results. I am a survivor.
My success with weight loss has been in no short order, due to dealing with feelings.
Have you examined your feelings related to the things that you do that create bad behaviors? Getting to know yourself is penultimate to a positive progression in your life
You must know who you are, what makes you tick, etc. You are not dieting; you are on a journey and the legs of that journey must be planned.
Saturday, May 10, 2014
What a wonderful expression when you have a child who loves you. Part of that means you were as good a mother as you could be. When my son got older, our relationship was such that he would still come to me with problems. I would always preference my response with who would you like to hear from first; your mother, a nurse or a friend because each of us would give you a different answer. His response- all of them mom. I lost this special young man almost 3 years ago now in a car wreck and the pain still surfaces as if yesterday. It will always I am sure especially on Mother's Day and his birthday.
This week, however, I was reminded by a spark friend from here who had the distinct pleasure of meeting in person and sharing an evening with she and her hubby when in Louisiana. We still maintain contact. She stated in a posting on FB, she got tired of people always complaining about what they don't have or bemoaning woes. She said that she now says to them, stop and give me 5. Five positives, you should be able to find 5.
1_ I got up this morning under my own power and dressed
2- I came downs stairs to an adequately filled refrigerator.
3- I was able to prepare my own meal.
4. I had electric bill paid
5- I praised the Lord for the Mother's day card that I got from a younger friend.
See how easy that is.
As a nurse 30 years of my 40 years, I was primarily dealing with needs of children. I was a case coordinator for children who had or were at risk for developmental issues. I had the privilege of holding and loving many children. I had the privilege of being a confidant and counselor to parents. I have many, many children.
I could choose to sit in a pool of grief or as I always told my son, move forward with life. Learn and grow from all the experiences as life is short and blessings are many.
If your grief, complaints, friends, etc let you down. Remember to talk with Him. Let Him help you develop a plan for living and being healthy. It is all in His word.
Be a happy Mother. Love those who come into your path for counsel. Be healthy and able because you next life lesson may be the one that you would not want to miss.
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