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Ugh jus ugh NOT gonna give up

Friday, February 21, 2014

So last Friday I had an amazing weigh in. Almost four lbs gone! Today, I gained 0.2 :(. I worked my butt off. I coulda done more I know but still. I did have one minor dinner slip up Sunday at dinner but I stopped before it got too bad. I did four days at the gym. Two of cardio and weights and then two of just cardio. Packed my lunch every day, only went over 1600 calories once. And I drink an gallon of water a day, sometimes more. Yet I gained :(
I have tried to focus on other things than the scale, like that maybe you can see my collarbone a little more, or maybe I feel better, different little things. But sometimes I can't help focusing on the scale. I want to be under 200 sooooo bad. Oh my goodness I was so happy when I finally got out of the 230s . It took me so long to get into the 20s. Then I saw the number 229.5 on the scale and jumped around screaming. When I saw that I gained today I was slightly regretted. I know it could be worse. And I'm happy that it wasn't more that 0.2, but still, sucks to not see a negative number.
I don't wanna get stuck in a rut. I don't wanna give up I want to keep going. I feel so much better eating healthy and exercising but at the same time I know all my goals and I don't wanna not reach them.
So today is jus a blah day :/ happy but sad, only halfway motivated, halfway frustrated.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANGELN325 3/4/2014 5:19AM

    Everyone who commented here is correct. I used to get all upset over the scale and it ended up derailing me a few times. This time I'm focusing on other things like implementing health habits and how I feel and the scale is just one measurement of success. Make sure once a month you take measurements which paints a truer picture of how you are doing. At the end of the day you want to lose inches not just weight. Weight bounces around all the time and if you are doing strength training, there will be gains because muscle weighs more than fat, but takes up less space and raises your metabolism so it's a good thing to obtain because once it's in play, you will find that scale going down, down, down as you burn off the fat.

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LILSHINE 2/24/2014 9:35AM

    Hang in there...don't beat yourself up so much. I slight gain isn't bad...it happpens, our bodies just bounce around and even when we've done everything right it's still trying to adjust. Hang in there.

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MNCYCLIST 2/21/2014 2:34PM

    I feel your pain! But this sort of thing is part of the process and it's totally normal. I just wrote a blog on the causes and solutions for plateaus, and though you're not on one right now, the things I found might help you. Either way, thanks so much for sharing, and hang in there! Don't quit!

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WINNIE1978 2/21/2014 11:26AM

    I'm sorry you saw a gain. It's really easy to say "don't focus on the scale" or "at least it is only a .2 pound gain" or "it could have been worse", but I know that doesn't change the fact that you are still disappointed. I've been there. In fact, I'm sure most of us have been there. Try not to be too hard on yourself. All of your hard work IS paying off in other ways!

Do you take your measurements at all? Often when I know I've been really good with food and fitness, but the scale isn't reflecting my hard work... the tape measure will.

The last time I was really focused and losing weight it seemed like the weight was coming off a lot faster according to the scale, but this time around I'm rarely even losing a pound a week. I am seeing differences in my measurements though, thankfully! And ultimately that's what matters the most to me because I'm the only person that sees that number on the scale, but everyone will see the inches lost.

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EVER-HOPEFUL 2/21/2014 9:48AM

    emoticon

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SHORTSTORY2 2/21/2014 9:15AM

  A four pound loss right off is wonderful. If you have been working out and doing everything else right that slight gain is nothing to worry about. Good things are going on inside you. The scales will move again!! I had two weeks with no movement at all except up a few ounces. Then a pound disappeared last week! Just keep up your good work. You will do fine. Don't give up!!! emoticon

Eileen Hopeful Hearts team

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AUNTRENEE 2/21/2014 9:02AM

    Don't put yourself down. That much of a gain isn't bad.

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Struggling this weekend

Sunday, January 19, 2014

I blogged this with my iPhone so if there are many mistakes I apologize, I'm goin too crazy to spellcheck.
I am going crazy, I mean CRAZY!!
So for the past two months I've been doin really great. I went from 245 to 233. Friday is my weigh in day, and I was so excited to see 233.2 on the scale. I made a small goal for myself to lose 5lbs by the end of January. That means I have two weigh in Fridays left. So Friday I went to my best friends and hady free day, we grilled out and had so much fun. Saturday I did wonderful at work, but then when I got home I felt so hungry i couldn't stop eating. I over ate by about 1000 calories it felt like. Although I'm not sure, I decided logging it would be worse. Today I went to work and again was find, but I get home and I've had the urge to just completely pig out. I haven't so far but the urge is there and it's on full blast. Doin dishes didn't help. Cleaning my daughters room didn't help. Taking a nap didn't helps finding A movie didn't help. I am so beyond frustrated I've been doing so well only for this to happen. I want to hitting goal of 5lbs by the 31st. That would mean I would be 228 starting February. To be out of the 230s would be amazing. My halfway goal is 200 by my birthday, which is may 15th. But how to keep the willpower? How to make this horrible eat everything feeling go Away?!? How not to feel like a failure by messing up just one night. Most days it's so easy, I simply just don't want any of it. But this weekend I've wanted it all! I've wanted a carb Nd chocolate and greasy meat overload. Today so far I've made it but I still have a few hours until bedtime.
Doesn't help that no one in my house is really truly supportive, they eat whatever whenever and stay skinny. And jus look at me like I'm crZy when I say no to the tacos and cake and fried chicken.
I'm going crazy.......

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANGELN325 1/20/2014 8:27AM

    I agree with everyone who said it's all about moderation rather than will power. We are human and even people of normal weight will be seen eating an ice cream cone. It's all about moderation. I like to have fun sized candy bars because one of those will satisfy my chocolate craving without the calorie punch of a candy bar from a vending machine. My uncle keeps frozen yogurt and I tried it and it was very yummy, but Popsicles, which is what I keep, just as good.

The first step is to figure out why are you so hungry at night? Are you eating low calories all day long and that hunger is building? Is it that craving for something sweet or salty that's building up all day and by night time, you are just ravenous? Could it be something else? Once you can determine the trigger, then you can implement a counter measure. If it's a hunger that is building up as the day goes on, maybe you need to allow yourself a bigger breakfast. They say you should eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a queen, and dinner like a pauper. I know...easier said than done, but I have found when I have a very satisfying breakfast, it's easier to keep myself from binging the rest of the day. I also allow two snacks: one between breakfast and lunch and another between lunch and dinner. It really helps.

Finally, I have found that if I deny cravings, they will kick my butt so a granola bar or some cheese or some other food that I like that meets my salt or sweet tooth helps. Homemade trail mix is great if you like your sweet with your salty. Just take raisins or dried cranberries and mix them with some of your favorite nuts, chocolate chips, M-n-M's, pretzels, and cereals and you have a healthier version of a candy bar. I did that once and I loved it. I'm thinking about making another batch this year because it was so much fun to put that into a little container and have for work. Just going to make a smaller batch this time because I used a bowl that I liked to use for baking and had to wait until it became available again and that part sucked.

Any ways, good luck!

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ROGERLEW 1/20/2014 7:38AM

    I do that too. want to eat and when I start can't seem to stop
I try to focus those days onto how good I feel when I feel slimmer
I know when I look in the mirror I don't look slim but when I eat less and correctly I feel slimmer - and that makes me feel better
When I blow it and I look in the mirror - it seems I can see every calorie I ate, and that makes me feel lousy
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EVER-HOPEFUL 1/20/2014 4:58AM

    are you craving salty or sweet?if sweet try eating a banana or freezing one(i always have one ion hand in the freezer)and blend it to make an ice cream a teaspoon pure cocoa powder mixed into a tablespoon of honey over the icecream feel like i am indulging which i am in a healthier way.if i am wanting salty i either make a cup of bruhe or bovil which is warning and filling at that same time but little calories.failing that i will bung a sweet potatoe in its jacket in the microwave and depending weather sweet or salty springle cinnom or parmasan chesse over it.as the parmasan is strong you only need a teaspoon or two of it grated to get the taste.hope this helps.maybe you are going too strict on overdays and that could be why your body is craving .this is all about balance and trying to find the right balance for your.a bit of protien can also fill you up for longer.take care and keep smiling,you can do this.also what might help is changing your 5 lbs weight loss goal to 4lb.that will still get you out of the 230īs but less pressure on you and who knows when the pressure is off you might surprise yourself and los the originally intended 5lbs but without the pressure. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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UOFIGIRL 1/19/2014 8:50PM

    Been there. I have such problems with cravings, that if I don't listen to them, I fixate, and then end up with one of those carb and chocolate and greasy meat days.

So I sort-of give in - or rather, I try to figure out a way to incorporate what I crave into my next meals. If you want tacos, figure out a healthy taco recipe, and let yourself have this for dinner tomorrow. Or, if it is chocolate, budget this into your plan for the seek. And if it is seriously a trip to McDonald's or Burger King or KFC, then plan one day where you allow yourself to get one of their kids meals. Planning helps - you can leave room for the foods that you crave, but still keep on track.

And if that doesn't work, have some baby carrots in the fridge.

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WINNIE1978 1/19/2014 7:18PM

    I'm sorry you are struggling with the urge to eat. And it really sucks that your family isn't more supportive.

I can relate a bit to wanting to eat junk right now. I made the mistake of forgetting my snack earlier and let myself get way too hungry... that coupled with PMS and I want to eat everything in the pantry!

Hopefully reminding yourself about your goals and knowing that you are not alone will help. Hang in there!

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MOGAL64 1/19/2014 5:50PM

    Tomorrow's a new day. It's ok to give in and now that you've realized, you can start making healthier choices tomorrow. You are doing great on your weight lost - Congratulations.

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the day after...

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

SO, Iomsiltin here at work, watching Total Divas and reflecting on the week. yesterday was My and my Boyfriends two Year Anniversary ' and I realize, that was my Goal day that I had set in the Beginning of this year for Being under 200 LBs. And I am Nowhere close to My goal. I cant say Why I Slacked off But I am definitely disappointed In Myself-But all I Need to do is look forward.
It Makes me sad that I feel like I have wasted half of My 20's overweight. But I Need to do Something about that now instead of later. I always do So well, almost perfect even, foralmost three Months at a time then I fall away and It ends up SO destructive I turn 26 in may. MaY 15tH SO My goal at this Moment is to regroup and refocus S0 that hopefully . d can celebrate My Birthday as a different person. A happier person, a more confident person.
I have always had Body image issues And I am hoping to Journey to Beat those within the next 6 months.
I Look through the Media and all of the Skinny models. and I never want to Be skinny. I wait to Be fit And Muscular. Like the woman off of Total Divas or the Dallas Cheerleaders.
And I know if d dout take Care of Myself that I cant take Care of My family.
My Biggest issue is how to fit everything I Need to da into the Short day. It feels impossible. work 8-4, then fix dinner, clean up, homeschooling daughter for an hour a two then Bathtime Spend a bit of quality time with the Boyfriend then take him to work at 945, then a Nap, then Pick him up at 3, then Back to another Nap, then Backup at 630 for Breakfast and getting things situated for work. Its so hard to Choose what to give up far My exercise session. sometimes I wish I Could Be a Stay at home mom So I could get everything done. Cutting out 8 hrs of work would Make everything easier hahaha
I guess I need to figure it out. Its just hard. How does everyone do it?
AHHHHHH LOL

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LILSHINE 11/15/2013 9:22AM

    As I tell my co-workers - in order to get it done, it takes time management skills. You got to plan your workouts just like you have a time slot for everything that you listed above. Perhaps it would work best for you if you broke your workout down into mini sessions. Perhaps the boyfriend can take on some of the duties of cleaning, home schooling and the back and forth travel. Team work can change a lot of things. Bulk cooking can also help relieve some time. A power walk at lunch, a power walk right after or before home schooling with your child. A few squats while cooking, lifting some light weights. I fit mine in at times with: trips to bathroom during my work day I do squats (5-10) or wall push-ups everytime I go tinkle. Drink more water :) I now leave my 3 & 5# weights by where I sit watching t.v. I life during or between commercial breaks. I do squats, lunges and lift weights while I'm cooking or waiting on something to warm up. Until you can get a schedule for a full workout try some lil adjustments here and there.

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TAKIAANDMOMMY 11/12/2013 3:08PM

    excuse the typos LOL, ifs had to write with a squirming kid in hand

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TAKIAANDMOMMY 11/12/2013 3:08PM

    excuse the typos LOL, ifs had to write with a squirming kid in hand

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on the fence

Wednesday, November 06, 2013

so I never understand why it is So easy to fall off of the wagon And So hard to get Back on, I did so well for two months, then It was like I was thrown off. Then I'm like, ok today is the day, fix it. Then, pushed Back off the wagon.. A enjoy eating well and I absolutely love exercising. So why is it so had to stick to it? d always feel like I have to chase Between my family and Myself. And Its Nat fan, MY Boyfriend Needs this, My daughter needs that, I have to do Such-n-such for My job. Then I loose Myself and It just doesnt seem right. They want fast food d they want Mommy to help with this and I feel like ifidout put my family first then i am wrong I know as An adult we all Suppose to realize That life isnt fair But still, it just sucks.
I am gonna try and jump Back on the wagon today I just feel so selfish when I put Myself first
Lets see how thiS works out

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SQUIRRELLYONE 11/6/2013 9:38AM

    Like the oxygen mask on a plane, if you don't help yourself before others, you might not be able to help them at all.

Extend the simile: if you don't put your oxygen mask on first, and you have to help someone else, you might pass out, leaving both of you without a mask.

If you don't get the right foods and exercise, at the end of the day, you might be too tired to play. If you haven't had a chance to do strength training, you might not be able to pick the kids up and take them to their rooms when they're feeling sick. If you haven't stretched and get a muscle spasm, you can't get out of bed to make them dinner.

You're still serving their needs by taking care of yourself! You can do this!

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TIME2BLOOM4ME 11/6/2013 9:16AM

    emoticon

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MYUTMOST4HIM 11/6/2013 9:13AM

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Weird topic, but at a loss and something is still missing :/

Friday, June 28, 2013

Ok so considering that it is 5am and I'm blogging should show how frustrated I am.

I blogged earlier this month how I noticed randomly that I didn't have a period in may, now here it is June 28th and I still haven't started. I have taken four home tests and they have all said negative. I had stopped my gnc active pak vitamins since they have the fat burners and metabolism pills in them. But after the fourth negative I started them back.

The last two tests I even stopped drinking over a gallon a day and jus drank a "normal amount" of water. Still negative. Tested first thing in the morning for the last three, still negative.

My bf doesn't know that I am late I feel like its better not to worry him until I know what is going on.

As far as pregnancy symptoms, I haven't really noticed anything. I'm peeing about every hour but I'm drinking a gallon and a half of water a day. I'm bloated off and on but then again it could have been related to what I was eating too. As far as keen sense of smell, my nose has always been very sensitive. Not really any nausea, I'm tired as hell all the time but that can be the stress of fighting with my ex husband and working 60-80 hours a week too.

I've had some binge issues on the weekend and then eating 1,000-1200 calories a day during the week (I shoot for 1200 but some days I think I've reached it and I really haven't)

My boobs aren't sore or anything like that.

The only "pregnancy symptom" other than a late period that I can think of is that I've been wanting more cold sweet things lately like slushies and snow cones and ice cream floats. I didn't want dinner the other day just a float. Well, that and fatigue I guess.

One problem is I don't have insurance, I need to sign up for insurance for me and my daughter, but I'm having trouble financially and it's so expensive I wasn't gonna sign up yet unless I was pregnant but everything says no. Some of my friends say it could be the exercise but I don't do athlete training exercise. I'm doing the c25k and some weight training a couple days a week.

I feel like there is pressure/very mild cramping in my lower abdomen now, and I always think a child would be a joy and blessing I don't know if now is a good time. I'm in the middle of filing for divorce and bankruptsy from my ex husband (my daughters father) and my bf is still looking for a good job he only has a part time one right now and he is looking hard jus can't seem to find one.

Oh and before anyone asks me and my ex have been separated since 2009 so the relationship I'm in now and have been for a year and a half has no bearing on my exmarriage.

I'm jus frustrated too cause I can't go to the doc jus yet cause I think if I'm diagnosed before the insurance kicks in that It will be considered a pre-existing condition. I dunno which way to go, plus I really don't wanna stop exercising I've been doing so good (even though the scale isn't really moving at the moment and hasn't in like two weeks)

Ugh I'm jus all around frustrated. We don't really have a lot of unprotected sex either, last time it was unprotected was in the end of April I had an April period but not a may and so far not a June either.

I'm not sure if I can jus chalk it up to exercising and dieting though.

Ugh jus at a loss.......

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TAKIAANDMOMMY 6/28/2013 7:29PM

    There is but any diagnosis before the insurance kicks in is considered preexisting and they won't cover it for a certain time period

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SPARKLE1908 6/28/2013 4:03PM

    Is there a free clinic around that you can go to? I understand about not having insurance but those symptoms could mean something other than pregnancy...and you are gonna worry yourself to death until you find out the answer...LOL

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TAKIAANDMOMMY 6/28/2013 11:07AM

    Lol I know ima nurse too I jus never thought it woulda been this bad, I've been up n down with weight and exercise and its never affected my periods. My main stress about going to get a blood test is from what I'm told if I do it an find out then get insurance tht my insurance won't cover the pregnancy

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KACAR51 6/28/2013 9:39AM

    Sounds like you have a lot of stress! Stress, exercise and not eating enough calories ( less than 1200 per day) can cause you to miss periods. ( I am a nurse, so you can trust we on this one) You really do need to get a blood test to find out for sure. Good Luck! emoticon

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JUDITHANNIE 6/28/2013 8:28AM

    I agree with Trisha you should get a blood test to find out for sure.

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TAKIAANDMOMMY 6/28/2013 7:38AM

    I have to wait for my insurance to kick in first I think or else it counts as a preexisting condition and not covered (I think)

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TAKIAANDMOMMY 6/28/2013 7:37AM

    I have to wait for my insurance to kick in first I think or else it counts as a preexisting condition and not covered (I think)

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TRISHA26 6/28/2013 5:47AM

    Quite often tests prove negative although you may be pregnant I suggest you try to get a blood test that should tell you yea or nae good luck x

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