TIG123GER   76,906
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TIG123GER's Recent Blog Entries

Struggling

Friday, November 22, 2013

You know, what seemed so easy the last time is proving to be SO tough this time. I have tried to start a new exercise streak three times and have failed miserably each time and I don't know what the issue is. I DO want to get healthier. I DO want to lose weight. I DO want to have a good doctor visit and I have very little time before that happens. I know that exercise is a major component in this change. I have, for the most part, eaten well but it can always be improved upon. I worked out Monday and Tuesday and just couldn't get myself into my workout clothes and into the basement after that. I did walk at work both Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday because I had meetings across campus but it definitely wasn't the same as a planned workout. And to be honest, it is the last thing I want to do. I just don't like exercise or enjoy it or "feel great" afterward or any of the other wonderful things people say about it. I hate it, dread it, and don't feel some great sense of accomplishment or satisfaction after it's done. I know I need to do it but I just don't want to. I keep saying I'll get up early and just get it over with but when the time comes to get up, I am tired and don't want to. When I get home, I bypass the workout clothes for the PJs and am done for the night.

Knowing that I need exercise and a good diet to improve my blood sugar numbers seems to have no effect on getting me to do the right things. I really want to get off the medicine and I definitely don't want to have to go to insulin but I seem unable to do what I know I need to do to change my life. I hate looking at what I see in the mirror. I'm not looking for any sympathy or pity and I hate writing a blog like this because that's what it sounds like but I honestly am just struggling with why I'm struggling like this. I know I didn't gain the weight overnight and that it isn't going to disappear that way either but it seems that so many people can just decide after an "aha moment" that they are going to start making changes and they do with far less consequence hanging over their heads, and I just can't understand what my blockage is. I've been reading the Spark and reviewing the Spark Cookbook and there are so many stories of people just deciding to eat right and they do and people just deciding they are going to start exercising and they do. I just can't figure out why I seem unable to "just decide" to do thses same things. I did a great spark of 62 days but didn't really lose any weight (frustrating) and I've started three times now to do a new 30 day streak and fail after a couple of days.

At this point I think I'm just asking for any insight my fellow sparkers might have for what seems to be standing in my way. I truly do know what I need to do but I just can't seem to get myself there no matter how determined I seem to be. I went through a created some fast break goals and some mid- and long-term goals and they all lasted until about mid-week. If it wasn't so pathetic I'd laugh.....

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATSYB7 11/23/2013 6:44AM

    Do you listen to music while you exercise? That has shown to be helpful. How about enlisting the help of a buddy? Making appointments with someone can help, too. Hang in there--keep pushing. You're worth the effort. And most of all, keep Sparking! Never give up!
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Starting a new Streak

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

So yesterday was the first day of the rest of my new life....again....but I decided that I needed to get my life back on track and start exercising again because the doctor visit is looming large in my near future (mid-December) and I REALLY need my blood sugar and cholestoral numbers to be in line. I have lost some more weight since the last visit so that always helps but I really want to show that I have things under control. So, I decided that I needed to start a new exercise streak to spur things on.

I've been reading the Spark (original) and have taken on the 28 day challenge, which had me make 3 quick start goals. I chose eating a fruit and a veggie each day, working out at least 30 minutes each day, and blogging each day about my journey. I got 2 out of 3 yesterday and 3 out of 3 today so I'm doing OK. For me the exercise is the most important thing so I have two days under my belt. I'm going for a 30 day streak but hopefully that will go longer like last time (62 days straight).

I am feeling a bit disjointed in my thoughts right now so am going to end this but I really needed to get an entry in so that I can get this party started officially and overtly so that I can "shame" myself into compliance. Tomorrow I will make a more coherent entry and lay out my goals per the Spark.

For now:
Mon 40 mins on bike
Tues 30 mins on bike

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THIN133 11/20/2013 8:08PM

    You can do this !!! Good for you for reading The Spark & motivating yourself ! You can rock it .I believe in you !

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PATSYB7 11/20/2013 5:59AM

    You're on the right track--keep going!
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STUDLEEJOE 11/19/2013 9:42PM

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Starting Again....Again

Monday, October 28, 2013

So I have been just coasting along, not eating really good or really bad and not exercising much above extra walking during shopping or at work crossing campus for meetings. Haven't gained any weight and even lost a tiny bit. But, I don't feel energetic, in fact I'm tired almost all the time. I know the change in weather causes some of this - it is hibernation time after all - but I think a lot of it is due to lack of activity and not eating better. So my husband and I bought the new spark book for the kindle and I'm going to get it read this week so we can start the actual diet part of it next week but I'm going to start NOW on the exercise part. It's almost time for me to go back to the doctor's office and I want to show some big results. I have lost weight since the last visit, so that's great, but I'd like to be down another 5 pounds minimum and I want to make sure my numbers are in line so I don't have to start cholesterol medicine and can maybe even decrease my diabetes medicine. I am going to start a new streak today - I am going to work out a minimum of 30 minutes per day (hopefully more) every day between now and my doctor's appointment sometime in December. I need to get a handle on my eating and my exercise. I have just let life happen lately and I need to take control and drive the bus rather than it driving me. I know what the right things are - I just have to do them rather than letting Taco Bell call my name and pull me off track. I have done this before and I know I can do it again. I am worth it and I need to put myself first - food is such a short term satisfaction and then there is way more regret that follows than the food was worth. I need to somehow remember that when I start to veer to the left. I'm tired of starting over...again...so I need to make this stick and pull myself together. I WILL be successful because I deserve to be happy and healthy and only I can make this happen so here goes!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THIN133 10/30/2013 8:21PM

    You can do this ! You are worth it ! You can take care of yourself, exercise & eat well. Your check up will be a good one, you have time to make some positive changes in you lifestyle. It's good you haven't gained any weight ! Be happy with you, life right now ! Your weight shouldn't determine your happiness emoticon losing weight will give yourself a confidence boost ! You can do this ! P.S. if Taco bell, still calls your name, there are some healthy options there so you can have taco bell & stay in your eating plan too emoticon Take care !

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Reinvigorated

Monday, August 19, 2013

Isn't it interesting how the stupidest things spark a change? I weigh myself every day so I know I've lost almost 30 pounds. I look at myself in the mirror and I know that my body shape has changed some (not enough but some). I know that I'm slimming down because my clothes are fitting differently. BUT, this weekend I decided to tackle my dresser drawers and closet because my aunt has given me many, many clothes over the last couple of years, some of which fit and some that were too small, with the not-fitting ones being shoved in a drawer for that miraculous time they fit only to be forgotten in the daily tribulations of life. I went through two dressers and my entire closet, trying on each and every item to see if it fit, how it fit, if it was the image I wanted to present, when I last wore it, etc. I think, by the time I was done, I had 9 piles of clothes at least a foot high that either were too big or were clothes that I shouldn't be wearing (way too long, way too frumpy, way icky material, or way out of fashion). I have always like baggy things to hide stuff and things that were too long for my short stature so that you could see about two inches of my legs. I got rid of all the longer dresses, all the dresses that hung shapelessly on my form, and all the oddly colored, polyestery pants. I was then able to fit all the kinds of things together in the same drawers - all the shorts in one, all the shirts/t-shirts in one, all my exercise gear in one, all my winter PJs in one, all the stuff that is still too small in a couple. I also made a bunch of room in my closet for all my new finds - a ton of shirts that actually have a shape to them, a bunch of pants that I can't pull off while still buttoned or are so baggy in the rear that I look like I have no butt. And you know what? I am so excited because all of this really means that I have lost weight and inches....not that I didn't know before (see above) but it is staring me right in the face with the new closet, the clean, organized drawers, and the literal piles of clothes that no longer fit. Saturday night at dinner with friends I wore a new outfit. Sunday visiting my parents I wore a new outfit. At work today, I wore a new outfit. And I actually thought I looked pretty good in the new, better fitting clothes where I could actually see a shape. And, as a plus, it motivated me to get back to exercise yesterday. I threw in my Combat video and did 30 hard minutes of cardio kickboxing and punching. If there is any downside, it is that now that I have this new wardrobe, I have no idea what I'm going to wear to work because the choices are so overwhelming! I stared at them this morning for 10 minutes before I figured out what to wear.....guess I'm gonna have to do this at night so that I'm not late for work!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KDRICH24 8/20/2013 2:16PM

    That is awesome! It takes a lot of time to go through that many clothes and what a reward! Congrats on the new found motivation! emoticon emoticon

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THIN133 8/20/2013 6:45AM

    Congratulations ! Take this motivation & run with it ! It will only lead to more great victories for you ! Go for it emoticon

Awesome job on all of your new fitting, styling' clothes & for the 30 lbs weight loss .
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FLAMENM 8/19/2013 9:49PM

    Sometimes it takes seeing yourself in new clothes to recognize a new you!

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UKMOM638 8/19/2013 7:30PM

    emoticon Seems you took another Step toward a Successful Journey with you Plan! emoticon

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Tired but still Sparking

Monday, July 15, 2013

This summer has been really tough for me for some reason. At the university I work for, we go to summer hours the beginning of June, which means that we work Mon-Thurs with Fridays off (yeah) but have 7:30-5:30 days, which means I now have to get up at 5:40am for work. I know that's not early for many people but it is way early for me (I'm not a morning person). It also means I get home at least an hour later than normal, and we just did some major landscaping to our front and back yards so as soon as I get home, I'm out in the heat watering the plants for about an hour and a half, which means I actually get in the house 7:15ish and then it's time to start getting dinner together and then I'm just too tired to exercise. I know it's an excuse but it's true. I don't want to push dinner back any later and then I'm too full right away and then I'm ready for bed because 5:40 comes so early in the morning.

Whine on, I know, but all this just leads me to dragging all the time. I'm already tired from getting up so early, and for some reason, the heat seems to just take it right out of me so once I get inside to the air conditioning, I just seem to melt into the couch and become one with its soft, fluffy goodness! Luckily, I have still been slowly losing weight without the exercise but I know how good it is for my blood sugar levels and I still have 4 months before I go back to the doctor and want to really improve this time around. Today I am going to try and do more walking around my office building to build up my step count and try to do 30 minutes on the bike (at least it's in the basement where it's cool). I am just gonna take it one day at a time because right now guilt and embarrassment aren't working. I CAN do this!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PRETTYSCOTT 8/21/2013 11:39AM

    I feel you on the tired thing. I have to wake up at 5am every day just to get a work out in before I leave for work at 620 and with traffic i don't get home until 6 and have to make dinner and have two little girls that need to get ready for school. It's been hectic, and unfortunately for me I did gain some weight during the summer. It's okay though, I have to get back on track. One really good thing I did find is this program called Tabata (sp?) and it's only 4 mins of super intense workout. I mean you give it your all, and for 4 mins, who can't right. I tried it and felt my heart in my throat, but for those days, maybe it'll help. I'm hoping it does. :)

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KDRICH24 8/10/2013 1:57AM

    I like what you said, " I will take it one day at a time". Someone once asked me "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time" emoticon lol... Anyway, if it helps any, I like to celebrate the little successes I have everyday. emoticon Even if i chose to eat grapes instead of ice cream. Im sure you will find your own way! I know you can do it!

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2BDYNAMIC 7/16/2013 10:01PM

    It sounds like the change of hours has gotten you out of sync ......... This happens to me with daylight savings time ......... It drags me down for days on end ..... I already get up between 3 and 3:30 a.m. and so to lost ANY time is cruel! ......... Is it just for the summer as it sounded? .......... Unless is there any possible way to do a reversal of watering to before work? ........... That is when I have to exercise or it won't get done either .......... I know how hard it is to change our routines and heat never helps ........... so I hope something works out for you .................
OH BTW ............ emoticon so much for the nice words re me becoming a recent Motivator ........... I was pleasantly surprised .......... Now I'm like, Gee....... what will I write about now/? ........... so I have to pretend it didn't happen .......... Take care!

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DOKEYOKEY 7/16/2013 8:31AM

    Wow, that sounds very hard! I can appreciate your dilemma since I'm not a morning person, and I also find myself melting in the heat. Phew! Does the U have a health center you could use on lunch break? I don't know if there are any air conditioned buildings with stairs in them, but would could you get a mini workout by dashing up the stairs on a break at work?

I hope you discover a satisfying answer that gives you both the rest and the activity you need!



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DISAPPEARING1 7/15/2013 7:34PM

    I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time. If it helps - I feel the same way when it's this stinking hot.....NO energy.
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Then when it
emoticon for days I feel sad and sluggish.
I used to be a sleep-aholic, then an insomniac, and now I sleep for a few hours, wake up, sleep again, wake up....it's making me....
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Geez, now looks who's whining? Sorry! Hang in there friend and just take it one day at a time or one hour at time ~ you can do it!!!
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