Tuesday, October 15, 2013
After a lovely long holiday weekend traveling, it's time to get back to work and routine. One thing I'm glad to be back home for is my Cymbalta, which I take for my fibromyalgia. It was not a happy surprise to discover on Friday night that I had forgotten to bring it with me. I was already in pain from the shifting weather patterns.
But I managed. FM certainly has taught me how to do that. I doubled up on my SAMe and calcium (at least I had those with me!). I listened to my body and enjoyed a long hike on Sunday. Monday I did less walking, as I was in more pain (an electrical feeling through my whole body/nervous system with every movement and even loud noises), but I enjoyed relaxing --knitting and reading my Kindle while my bf walked and looked for birds. Anyway, I took my Cymbalta as soon as we got home last night, and i could feel it beginning to work even before I went to bed. I was actually tired at bedtime, too! I slept well, andt this morning the electrical feeling is gone, and I was able to start my day with a 20 minute walk.
Oh - and I bought myself new walking shoes while we were out of town! We stopped at an outlet mall to use the bathroom and they had a New Balance factory store. This morning's walk was much better for my feet being properly supported.
Heading out now for a post-lunchtime walk. :)
Friday, October 11, 2013
Today's SparkCoach topic was very timely for me. I have had a lot going on lately and I haven't been keeping up with my tracking as much as I would like to. That's hard for me, because I have strong perfectionist tendencies that want to be sure if I'm doing something that it is 100% complete and "right."
However, I think I need a mind shift on this one. The tracker is a tool to support me, not another way to bludgeon myself. It gives me information and immediate feedback so I can course correct and adjust before minor deviations result in big swings on the scale. The key is remembering that the tracker is here to support me. I don't exist to serve the tracker. If I miss a day of tracking, the important thing is to start from where I am and move forward.
Last weekend we went to Block Island for a day of birding on the island. It was fun, being outdoors on a gorgeous day in a gorgeous setting with most of the top birders in the state. I felt like I was in The Big Year! Although I was active all day, it was hard to judge what to put in my tracker for fitness minutes, and anyway I was busy looking at birds. It dawned on me that THIS is part of why I am putting all this energy into losing weight -- so I can DO things like this - walk all over without worrying overmuch about my knee, and enjoy being active. That thought helped to settle me down and let me enjoy the day and let go of whether I would have time for tracking (I did not that day).
My tracker this past week is not as complete as I'd like to see it, but that doesn't mean I've been going overboard, either. I've been trying to focus on getting more rest and sleep, and finding that really makes a difference. Today my weight is down, the first time it's showed movement in a while. That has energized me to renew my commitment to my healthy lifestyle changes, which is really a commitment to taking good care of myself.
This weekend is a long weekend in which we'll be doing lots of traveling. I've tracked my breakfast this morning, and I have healthy snacks packed for the road. It's going to be a great trip.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
I knew I needed to get back on the weight loss bandwagon for a while before I mustered up the energy to do it. I was hesitant to commit to it at this time in my life, because I knew I would have a lot of stress going on around buying my house, overseeing the modifications and then moving.
But an elevated blood sugar number in August put my health back at the top of my priority list. I realized that if I don't take care of myself that I won't have the energy to cope with all of the other stresses and goals in my life.
My baseline stress level is pretty high - I have two kids with multiple disabilities, a disagreeable ex-husband who mistrusts and fights me on every little thing. I have lots of good in my life, too - those two kids bring a lot of joy along with their challenges, and my boyfriend is a true partner in every sense of the word. This is the healthiest relationship I have ever been in and we've been together for more than 5 years now. And I just bought a house! Collecting the bids so I can apply for the grant to do the modifications to make it handicap-accessible for my children so we can move in is taking longer than I had thought, and I am worried about how long I can manage to pay our current rent plus a mortgage.
So is my weight loss journey causing me additional stress? Possibly, but if so it's impact is slight compared to what else I carry on a daily basis. I confess to wanting the weight gone already - I mean, who doesn't? But I know it took time to put it on, and it will take time to take it off. It's been humbling to see how my fitness has deterioriated as the pounds crept on. It's frustrating to me that it takes as long as it does to walk around the block, or how often my knee is hurting me when I do. But I know that with time and consistency those things will get better and easier. The medical condition that caused much of my weight re-gain has been cured. That will make my efforts much easier, as well as being a load of stress off my mind.
I'm remembering as I type how many simple things I can do in v ery little time that do much to relieve stress. Certainly getting more exercise consistently will help. I can go back to yoga or tai chi (better yet, both!) and I can practice them at home in the meantime. Taking a deep breath to enjoy the fragrance of the sccented soap as I wash my hands helps bring me back to myself.
The other thing I commit here to push myself to do more of is to reach out for support sooner. That has histtoically been hard for me. With a son with Autism, I share many Asperger's -like tendencies to think I have to figure it out all on my own, whatever "it" may be. (I just did a round of EFT tapping on that triggering thought - that's another resource I have, the EFT). But Sparkpeople and Facebook both make asking for and receiving support easier. I'm getting better at letting my boyfriend know when I need help, too. He is consistently loving and supportive of my efforts.
So, any conclusions from this? I have "a lot on my plate." The other night I ate two of my snickers ice cream bars instead of stopping at just one. (In between, I had to go in and rock and sing and re-dress my 10 -year old son with Autism, who was still wide awake at going on 1 am). Sometimes food is what soothes me. But when it does, it doesn't have to start a downward slide. I can give myself some slack. I can look for and accept non-food comforts. And I can allow myself the occasional slip without expecting perfection of myself.
After that night when I had the 2 ice creams, I got up and walked the next morning. And I think that's probably the best way for me to handle my stresses: just keep moving forward, however slowly, one step at a time.
Friday, September 13, 2013
My reasons motivating my weight loss are simple and powerful: I want to be healthy and strong, both for myself and to be here for my children. They need me to be strong and healthy for the long-term. I need to be healthy and I also want to avoid diabetes--I have a strong family history of the disease, and I recently had an abnormal fasting blood glucose level. It wasn't terribly high, but it was into prediabetes territory.
Monday, September 09, 2013
(This was my response on the discussion boards. I wanted to save it here as a blog, too.)
It's a great topic for discussion, although I definitely agree it's more than either/or. In trying to answer the question, it depends a lot on who is asking and what is their motivation?
I think it's interesting that a lot of the controversy in the media about labeling obesity as a disease is still a not-always-subtle form of blame. "If we call it a disease, then people will give up or over-rely on medical interventions." Hello, don't a lot of people do that already? But maybe even worse is the attitude of those who have been there and done the hard work to get healthy and then instead of having compassion, they sit in judgment of those who haven't yet found it within themselves to get the weight off.
I had an interesting discussion with my doctor about this topic. I was there to see her as a follow up from a fasting blood sugar over 100. I have a strong family history of diabetes and that is a disease I really want to avoid. I was frustrated and angry, mostly at myself at finding myself in prediabetes. My doctor was the one who brought up the NYT article, that said that there's a genetic predisposition to gaining weight and it's not necessarily all about lifestyle choices. She said it was a surprise to her and other doctors. That's when it hit me that she thinks I'm just lazy. She has no idea at all how hard I work to take off ounces and how discouraging it is when I slip a little bit and put on pounds.
It's been obvious to me my whole life that this is a multifaceted issue, with many causes and no simple one-size-fits-all solutions. There IS much we can do to affect our genes and our bodies, but we do NOT have complete control. Even of what we put into our mouths, because as others have stated, the food today is different than it was a few decades ago.
What I hope for in the recognition of obesity as a disease is more compassion, understanding, answers (from real scientific research) and HELP from the medical profession. I know my weight is my responsibility. I want and deserve help and understanding from my medical providers to get where I want to be.
Get An Email Alert Each Time TRANSFORMWE Posts