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Fantastic thursday!

Thursday, May 07, 2009

My eldest teen is home from university. she is just passing through tho on her way for a friends weekend shopping in a neighbouring city.

She is a cheerleader for a CFL football team and telling me about all the things she has done with them, and all of the things she will be doing with them over the season.

She also cheers for her university and did lots of travelling throughout the year for her sport. She is a flyer, she is one of the tiny girls at the top being tossed around and doing flips.

She was practicing her signature to make it simple and quick as the cheerleaders calender is coming out soon and she will be needing to sign her month page on the ones she sells.

As I sat beside her listening to her tell, and watching her face change with the stories and excitement of her journey, I became quiet inside. My mind staying with her and my body staying with her, as my imagination travelled to my 19th year, my journey through those years was so different than hers...not worse or better just completely different.

I am almost 41, my time seems to have been so fleetingly fast, my tiny daughters now women, walking through the life they have decided was going to be right for them. My toddlers, exploring the new things and every new word little Michael says, everytime quiet, solitary Monica laughs, my heart grabbing and squeezing my insides with... I 'm not sure what it is.

I reconsider my plans for weight loss, and fitness, and looking sexy,
Why not just be fat? Why not just focus on my family,my adult children, my toddlers, my silver fox and build a life for us that does not include me spending time worrying about weight? obsessing over how I look?

I think I have a very nice look about my fat body, soft, round, thick, happy.

It may be past time for me to be the sexy one, time for my tiny daughters, now women to be the sexy ones, time for me to consider things in life, health and love that are not surrounded by the need to be something that I am not.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MDMNINA 6/7/2009 12:37PM

    You can best be there for your family if you are there for yourself. Be sexy. You are never too old. Be slender. It will help you feel good. But most of all be healthy. So you will be there for them for a long, long time.

You just joined The Secret Team. Remember you can do, be, and have anything you want. You can be sexy, slender and healthy and still be there for the people you love. Manifest your heart's desire!!

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NADAL2WIN 5/19/2009 12:42PM

    hey beks

hwo are u today? Hope u r feeling better than last time...
don't give up and just get back on that horse u were doing so fantastic
let's go..... go ..... go ....

love Cher emoticon

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JAMIETOPIA 5/7/2009 12:10PM

    You are a beautiful woman when you are overweight, underweight and right on the spot. It is very good to move towards acceptance and know that obsessing over how you look or how others perceive you (sexy or not, ideal or not) is not what your time on earth is all about. I wholeheartedly agree that you should leave the obsessive mental chatter behind. However, changing your focus to a commitment to health will help us to be here for those who love us and count on us to listen, care, love and witness their stories and accomplishments as they grow older and have their own children. My father died when he was 60 years old. He never met my daughter. The reason is that he made thousands of little daily choices along the way which led him to early heart failure, several near deaths, pace maker, and finally death. This is not a gift to your children or grandchildren.

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WILD4STARS 5/7/2009 10:32AM

    Sounds like you are a very proud Mom. AND I'm betting you also want to be a very healthy Mom, a Mom who sets an example for her daughters as they age. I know, I have reached an age that it is no longer about being skinny or sexy like I was at 20, it's about being the best I can be and being as healthy as I can be. As we get older, our bodies have enough to deal with without also dealing with extra fat!
Thanks for a great Blog and Happy Sparking.
emoticon

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Burlesque

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Last night I went for my first lesson. I learned the approach and the takeaway, I learned the power pose, 5 different ways to take off my gloves.
Next week will be stockings!

It was really fun and although I would not count it as cardio,(lots of standing and slow sultry walking only) it was enjoyable for reasons other than as a fitness experience.

I will deff be continuing it through all levels if I am able to afford the cost of the classes.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NADAL2WIN 5/14/2009 9:45PM

    where did you ever find out about a class like this? Where did the intrest for this come from? very cool, u go Girl... emoticon

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LOSINGLINNDY 5/6/2009 1:30PM

    What a fun class. You go!

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JAMIETOPIA 5/6/2009 10:46AM

    Right on. You did it and I'm excited to hear about it. Maybe you can tape your recital at the end and post it for Vikki!

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WILD4STARS 5/6/2009 9:49AM

    Any of these classes on video? You Tube? Sounds fun.
emoticonVikki

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the weekend...part 2

Monday, May 04, 2009

so as you know I struggled alot with weekends, last weekend in particular although the weekends previous were also tough.
I decided that I needed a plan, and the comments on my blog echo the same idea.
And so I set into sat am with a plan in mind, suppers menu planned and shopped for, and the days went smoothly, I did not eat anything not on plan, no drinkies,
and I exercised well.

so success this past weekend and another one to plan for coming in 5 short days!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAMIETOPIA 5/6/2009 10:44AM

    Great news and work ahead paid off! emoticon

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WILD4STARS 5/4/2009 10:42AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Mon-fri VS sat and sun

Monday, April 27, 2009

I have such willpower during the week, determination, my sparkpeople site, my routine, Its almost EASY to follow my plan during the week.

then the weekend comes, my silver fox is home, the routine the babies and I have solidly during the week goes out the window, I find myself with a little rum and juice, or a few chips, maybe out for supper.

I also find it super easy to cheat with small bites of things I have taken off of my ok to eat list.

one of the biggest factors to my week end struggles is the lack of time I am on sparkpeople. If I am lucky... I get on for 10 min each day, sat and sun. If I am having a regular weekend maybe once I get on, or some even zero times. My focus seems to leave me.

the sad thing for me is this.... It is not my husband who is stopping me from the site, he does not encourage me to cheat or try to stop my computer access, he does not pour me the rum or even bring the bag of chips out of the pantry. so it is not having him home from work that does it. It is something I am thinking, some bargin I am making within myself that I need to get ahold of and fix. If only I could put the blame on someone else I could reason away the things that are happenning and try to set them straight.
dealing with myself is such harder work for me, looking within at my motivations and explanations is such hard emotional work.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAMIETOPIA 4/28/2009 12:48PM

    I love to hear this from you. It is work and a most worthwhile commitment to yourself. You can gain support from the people in your family and make an equally effective plan for weekends, just a different one. Perhaps go with more activity to compensate for the extra intake on weekends.

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BEL_RIOSE 4/27/2009 11:51AM

    I have a similar problem on weekends. I'm constantly reminding myself "oh no..don't eat that" but I have a problem where I'm out and about so much, my food options are cut in half and healthiness is hard to find. I would say to just keep working on it, and maybe plan to go to the park for a healthy picnic instead of going out for dinner. It'll get easier

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WILD4STARS 4/27/2009 10:22AM

    Maybe it's just planning. Most of us have a regular routine weekdays, that doesn't exist on weekends. So, for me, during the week it's easier because of the routine. If I head into my weekend without a plan and without a goal I am in dangerous territory. Sometimes when I'm feeling weak, or I have an event that I know will be a temptation I make my weekend plan something even tougher than my normal weekday routine.

Give yourself a weekend goal or something to be accountable for.

Hope that helps.

emoticonVikki

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a friend noticed that I am

Sunday, April 26, 2009

on friday night I went out with a friend who noticed a subtle thinness coming out in me, after 16 lbs lost and lots of fitness minutes, you can see my chin, cheeks and breasts are thinner, my thighs are looking more firm as well.

I have read that even losing 5 lbs makes a positive difference in how your body systems function, and certainly after losing my first 16 I am feeling better.

I have a long way to go still, at least 70lbs, I wonder if I will be recognizable to my friends, to my children, to my husband, even truly to myself...

This was huge incentive for me to continue to lose and work hard at my eating plan and fitness.

this was the first anyone had said to me about looking better, thinner, healthier. I have been working my plan since feb 2/09.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EVILNURSE 5/6/2009 6:59AM

    Have to agree with you. I've lost about 25 lbs and always enjoy it when people notice. Even those that say I don't have a butt anymore!!

emoticon

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JAMIETOPIA 4/28/2009 1:11PM

    You look rockin'. Keep it going.

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CRUISEBOUND2014 4/26/2009 12:49PM

    That is FANTASTIC! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WILD4STARS 4/26/2009 10:48AM

    It is a great motivator when someone notices. Keep up the good work.
emoticonVikki

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