Tuesday, August 19, 2014
The third August weekend has come and gone, another one without Ed being with me and it was difficult at times. Times like when my daughter and I were on the boat on Lake Wallenpaupak with our friends and the memories of two years ago when we were on the boat, not our daughter and me came flooding back, and sitting on the deck and remembering the time that Ed was wearing a red sweatshirt and a humming bird stuck his beak into Ed's ear before realizing that htere was no nectar in that ''tube'', having dinner at the Wayne Hotel and sharing the homemade potaote ships with the blue cheese and truffle oil and the bacon cheeseburgers on a chiabatta roll. Bitter sweet memories and too much to eat!!!
Yes, I am very thankful that our friends still invite us, even expect us to come that weekend. Yes, I am very thankful that my daughter chooses to go and even drive her VW bugmaking the trip less expensive. Yes, I am very thankful for the time on the water, the time on the deck, the food, the quiet, the friends, the beauty of the forest and lake. I am even thankful for falling off the segway and tearing up my elbow and being sore all over today. Next year I hope that I will remember and not be so over confident .
Yes, there will be a next year in the Poconos and maybe, just maybe, it will be easier than this year.
Now, I am taking my bruised and battered (from the fall) body to unpack my suitcase.
I have work tomorrow and although I am not looking forward to the hour drive at 6:00 am I am thankful for the job!
Sunday, July 27, 2014
I got exercise in today, only a half hour but most of that half hour was playing/exercising with one or two children hanging onto me. strengthening and aerobic, I would say!
although my exercise time was only a half hour or a bit more we were at the pool for an hour and a half. Giane and my younger daughter went to a mall where there is a GAP store and My older daughter and I had the three children. My older daughter didn't want to get wet; so, I spsent at least a half hour, and probably more, playing with the kids. They jumped off the side, splashed, hung on me while I did some aerobic exercises, etc. The next thing I knew my grandgirl was swimming the pool. Not to be outdone, Manuella took the ''swimmies'' off her arms and swam too! We teased her Mom and said, ''Only in the US could she learn so quickly. Her teachers will be very surprised when she returns to school on Wednesday and is speaking English so well that she is putting 5 word sentences together while she understood English she didn't speak it before she arrived on July 4th. They will be even more surprised when they start swimming lessons and she can swim some already.
Also, we don't know how they will take her telling them that '' Every night we went Bar d'Mikey''. You ssee, my son in law owne a pizza parlor/sports bar and she wanted to eat there every night and instead of calling it by the name she called it bar of Mikey!
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Well, last week I worked several days; so, didn't get to the pool to exercise. Plus there was a lot of rain, thunder, and lightening when I was home; so, no walking outside either. Could have been worse though! At least I wasn't just sitting around watching tv or reading ( OK, I like to do both sometimes) but was moving up and down stairs, reaching up to put bow ties on really tall boys, draping senior girls, etc at work. There is very little sitting and relaxing which, for me, is a good thing.
Today I did ge3t in 20 or more minutes. My Brazilian daughter and grandaughter and blood daughter came over and we went to the pool for a while. I played with Manuella for quite a while and did regular water aerobics for 20 or 25 minutes. giane, Manuella's mother was so glad that I played with her in the water because Vilma, her Brazilian/ blood grandmother is terrified of the water. This way Manuella saw someone older who wasn't afraid and could swim. By golly, she even went into water over her head with me and swam, with floaties on her arms, for a few feet!
Friday, July 25, 2014
Tonight I had both blood daughters and grands plus my Brazillian daughter and grand and Brazillian son for dinner. Such passion they bring with them! Hugs and kisses and gestering and excitement and questions about the American food that they love (each has gained 6 lbs while here) gilson said, '' I need medcin to help suck my bel''. He wanted a magic potion to help him hold in his stomach! Giane rolled her eyes and said,''I love American food, especially cheeseburgers and fries and every thing else'' ; so, tonight I took a recipe and made it my way, with chicken, healthy request cream of chiken soup, a roux made with skim milk instead of whole milk or cream, and spices and served it over crispy baked rice noodles. I also had a spinach salad with pecans, cranberries, and a sprinkling of bleu cheese, and fresh melon. They loved it and will want it the next time they come to the US.
Now everyone has gone home and Sandy Claws has come out from under my bed where she hid while the loud little girls were here. dishes are in the dishwasher, and the house is so very quiet. The silence seems so much louder and more difficult to deal with after the Brazilians leave. I don't know why but it does. My heart, which hasn't healed completely from Ed's death seems to break again and the tears flow.
I know that giane and gilson will always come back to visit and Manuella will probably come to visit when she is an adult but Ed isn't here, in person, to enjoy them and they miss him so much and that just makes me miss him more. Right now my heart feels like it is breaking but I will be better tomorrow after a good night's sleep.
Monday, July 21, 2014
Well, I did it! I invited my friend Larry for dinner, just him, no other friends. As the Friday got closer I began to wonder if I had done the right thing, wonder what we would talk about, etc. The menu was the easy part! I began to panic just a little bit; so, I prayed that God woul guide me.
Larry called during the day to be certain that the dinner was still on, which it was. I was making banana pudding wwwwwwhen he called. I fixed steak, turnip greens, mashed potatoes, gravy, and biscuits, showered, dressed and waited.
While waiting I debated lighting candles, turning on some music , etc. and decided against doing anything that come seem like ''pressure''. This was a smart decision!
Larry arrivedand was surprised to learn that he was the only guest. I could see the tension but said a prayer that I would say the right things and continued to plate the food to put on the table where there were flowers (which could have been picked from a yard nearby) and candles but I did not light the candles. Lovely but no pressure! I kept the lighting normal, too.
As we talked I sensed the tension until he talked about how he didn't like going home without his wife being with him or waiting for him (she died of cancer 3 years ago). Then he said something to the effect of, ''You know what it's like when you have been with someone for so long''. My response? ''Yes and you just can't erase all of those years and memories''. With that sentence the tension dissolved and we had a lovely evening laughing a lot and just enjoying each other's company.
He stayed until 11:30, said that he was glad we had talked so much, and kissed me goodnight. I think that he was relieved that I am not expecting a different kind of relationship other than friendship. If more develops then it does but if not, so be it. He is fun and funny and I enjoy being with him but I have had a love affair of great magnitude with my husband and I think he had the same with his wife. It seems unfair to think of and/or expect another one!
Thank you Lord for your guidance
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