Thursday, December 05, 2013
Tonight was the Alzheimer's Association's Christmas open house and I was invited. You see, Ed didn't have the disease and neither did I but my cousin, our older daughter's Godfather died from it at an early age and a neighbor, a lovely wonman, also had it. Because of these people with whom we were close we were involved in raising funds. Ed chaired the Beach Ball for Alzhiemer's one year and for several years we worked on or chaired the committee to procure items for the auctions. Ed also helped with the live auction each year.
I went to the open house. At first I saw no one that I knew and I am not sure if that was good or not good. Then I spotted the present chairman of the Beach Ball. I went over to speak to Lee and he told me where I could find Leo, the local head of the Alzheimer's Assoc. Oh my, Ginao grabbed me and went on and on about being glad I was there until the tears just began pouring down my cheeks. Interspersed with how glad he was that I ame were little snippets about Ed would want me to be out, etc.
I finally said that I needed to speak to others, although I had no idea who those others would be, and he told me that I had to find Grace, his wife. He then took me by the arm and steered me toward her, tapping her on the shoulder, saying, "Look who is here, look who is here!"
Grace also grabbed me and hugged me then started telling people around me about Ed. As she talked I am sure that people thought that he was sitting at the right hand of Jesus. it was so nice to hear but such a reminder of my personal lose. Thank goodness she realized my sadness and changed the subject asking about a mutual friend who moved to Florida several years ago. That made it much easier.
I am blessed to have had a husband, best friend, lover, aggravator, father of my children, instigator, provider, etc that so many have such wonderful memories and thoughts of and think so highly of him. I am blessed to have known that I was first in his life and he loved his children and grandchildren. I am blessed that he was fun, funny, yet serious when he needed to be and a good business man as well as talented. I am blessed to have my memories and that when he left this earth he did too. I am blessed to be a helper and not a needer of services.
Now, when will the tears stop?
Sunday, December 01, 2013
Thanksgiving this year was probably more difficult for me than last year and not just because I cooked this year for the first time in a long time, but partly that might have been the problem too.
You see, I think that I was still in a bit of a state of shock over Ed's death last year. He had left us on October 2nd and, although it was such a fresh pain, it was also a time that was somewhat buffered but the shock and suddenness. I can remember standing in the crowd of my son in law's family and being sad and crying but also, at times, feeling numbness and disbelief.
This year missing Ed was all too real. He always cooked the turkey to take to dinner with our daughter's in-laws. This year I cooked a turkey breast to have here as I wasn't going to her in-law's dinner. This year we were having lunch at home and I was preparing it, serving it, and having left overs put away then going to a friend's for dessert. This year was painfully different and the entire week before Thanksgiving I was sad and dried a lot. There is no way to describe how utterly and deeply sad I have been and am still.
Sad? Horribly, but thankful also. I am thankful that if Ed couldn't have been here at his best, cooking, joking, dancing, bartending at our son in law's family's dinner, and generally haooy and enjoying everything that he left this earth. He woulln't have wanted to be here incapcitated; so, yes, I am thankful for that.
Sad, Yes, terribly sad, but thankful also that both my girls and grandboy and grandgilr were here for dinner/lunch and that the turkey breast was good as were the sides. Thankful for the grandboy and grandgirl who are so wonderful and whom I love from the bottom of my heart.
Sad, yes, very sad but also thankful for friends who invited me to dinner and when I said that I was cooking then invited me for dessert and to spend some time with them enjoying the fire in their fireplace and their other company.
thankful that others had also invited me for dinner, for the phone calls from friends who live in other areas, for the beauty of the day and the chill in the air (frequently it is either 75 degrees or raining), thankful that I can still live in my home and take care of much of the house maintainance. Thankful for haveing loved Ed and been loved by him for so many years.
Yes, I AM THANKFUL!
Friday, November 15, 2013
November 11th was Veterans Day and I thank all of the veterans who have served in any capacity to protect our freedom. I pray that we will always have the freedom that is afforded by our constitution and our military!
Novenber11th is also my birthday and I celebrate each trip around the sun. I just tell everyone that it is the anniversary of my 21st birthday but don't tell them which one! I believe, like Thomas Jefferson, that it is a private matter.
The last two birthdays I have been blessed by a visit from a friend who lives near Knoxville, Tenn. Her husband passed away Nov. 6th 2011 while Ed and I were in Key West, Ed passed away 11months later. She knew the grief of losing the love of her life; so, she came to spend my birthday last year. This year she decided to do the same and hopes to make it an annual trip.
She comes then for several reasons. It gives her a break from raising her two grandchildren and taking care of her two step grandchildren. It is a time of relaxation. It is a time to get a much needed day or two of "beach time" to prepare her to face the 17th of November which is the anniversary of their marraige. It is a time to be away from the stress that only parents of teenagers understand and she has dual stress with her two as they have PTSD from witnessing a murder before they came to live with her at this time of year and dealing with the unexpected loss of their step grandfather/adopted father. She comes to share the birthday with me because she knows that Ed always tried to make it special.
We walked on the boardwalk on Friday, shopped a bit, then came home and ate homemade chilli and talked for hours. On Saturday we went to some shops that she doesn't have in her small town (Target and 2 Hallmark shops) then to my supper club that night. Sunday we went to another part of the beach and walked in the sand. The day was beautiful. I also showed her Missy Elliot's (The rapper and friend of Queen Latifah)house. Later we had cake and ice cream because family wants to, and went to my son in law's pizza restaurant.
This year she went home on my birthday. I miss her but I am so very thankful that Cindy could come visit again this year!
Tuesday, November 05, 2013
Savannah is beautiful and full of history, Flannery O'Conner's home, and both of Juliet Gordon Lowe's homes, as well as tales of pirates, ghosts, slavery, and much more. It boasts of having one of the top ten (10) ice cream parlors in the world! I don't know about the others but my friend and I agreed, after eating a cone of ice cream, that yes, it was one of the best! We had treated ourselves because we had walked so much that day.
Savannah also has wonderful restaurants like the Pink House. Ed and I had eaten there and Rose and I had drinks at the bar to toast Ed. Other wonderful restaurants? There are many. There is Belfords, which is delightful, there are seafood restaurants, Paula Deen's Lady and Sons (which is OK), The Pirate House (wonderful homemade rolls and on Tuesdays a delightfully entertaining bartender named Country who could be a stand up comedienne because she is hysterical), Scottish Pubs and Irish pubs that are rather authentic! We tried one of each. Then there is Lulu's which is evil. They held us captive for almost 4 hours with their champagne cocktails, pecan pie, chocolate desserts, and chocolate and chili pepper cookies (not bad but not great either). I suppose that I would say of those cookies that they were different!
Savannah has a river that is navigable and has a very large port. We watched container ships coming and going on the river. Along the river front are restaurants (Kevin's Irish Pub where the young man came in to dance), seafood restaurants, burger places, candy shops, and souvenier shops as well as many other shops.
Savannah is also a place where many movies are made. While I was there this time filming was in progress for the Sponge Bob 2 movie and we got to watch a few scenes as well as getting photos of props being used.
What a delightful place and I hope that someday I will get to go back for a few more days. Maybe even spend some time on the beach at Tybee Island, just down the road from Savannah!
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Savannah, as I explained in another blog, is laid out in 22 squares, some larger than others but all very welcoming to wlakers in the city. Most have a bench or more where folks can sit for a spell and watch people, listen to street musicians, read, chat with a friend, or just do nothing. So, my friend and I took advantage of the benches when we had walked a lot.
It was on one of our treks around the city when we decided to sit in one of the larger squares and just enjoy the atmosphere of the city, listen to the trumpet player, watch the people, and give our feet a break from their chore of carrying ourselves around. We chose a bench for its emptiness and didn't really pay attention to those around us.
After we had been sitting awhile a woman who was ditting across from us commented that we were being serenaded by the musician on the other side of the bushes that were behind her. We commented that we enjoyed his music and that he was a rather good musician.
The lady, who was dressed in drab garb and kept trying to cover her ankles, never really looked up but turned her head ever so slightly as it rested on her shoulder/chest area. She asked where we were from and I said, Virginia and my friend said, Nevada. and we then asked where she was from. Her answer was that she was from "very, very far away" and she did have a bit of an accent.
Then the lady asked why we were there and we said " just visiting". we asked her what brought her to Savannah and her reply was that she had a "horrible experience 9 months before, one that no one should ever have to endure. She told us of throwing up and when that stopped being so terrified that she couldn't even write what had happened" We chose to not ask what happened. We then asked how long she planned to stay in Savannah and er reply was, "As long as the Lord leaves me here".
We said that we hoped it would be a blessed stay and got up to leave. We walked about ten feet, turned around, and the lady was gone and there were two people sitting on the bench, two completely different people.
That afternoon we decided to take the "Ghost Tour" that evening. When we got to the square where we had talked with the lady the guide told us the story of Alice Riley, and induntured servant from Ireland who had been brutalized, starved, beaten, and raped by her master. She and the butler, also an indentured servant, killed him and were caught at the edge of town at that particular square. The butler was hanged immediately but it was determined that Alice was pregnant and she wasn't hanged until after the baby was born, that would be 9 months after the horrible incident.
My friend Rose and I both looked at each other with goose bumps showing on our arms and Rose said, "That puts a totally new light on "Who the *&*@ is Alice"
Good Night and have a blessed All Hallows Eve"!
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