Wednesday, August 24, 2011
I've so felt like I had failed in this diet thing. I did so well with Sparkpeople in the beginning and lost so much only to gain it all back. I just felt so overwhelmed with so much to do here trying to do the points etc. My personality is such that I want to do it all gung ho and succeed and be the best but then when I feel like I don't attain that goal, I just want to quit it. I'm now to the point that I really need to do something about this weight. I really have watched my calories and portions this summer but not being about to be physical like I used to be is so depressing and keeps me from losing most of the time. Before I lost much of the weight from walking so much every day. Since my back went out last year, I've not been able to manage much in the way of walking. Winters are so hard on my joints and then we have had such a brutal summer. But I've done some soul searching and have decided that I have to do this for me and for health issues. I just will try to control my wanting to be the best at doing this and concentrated on the process.
I think one thing that makes it so hard for me, is that I have a husband who can eat just about anything and never gains an ounce and in fact he will lose alot of weight when active...which most of the time he is..I know if I could be more active it would help me in the long run. I have RA which makes it so hard at times to be active. I did finally invest in a floor mat but haven't used it yet. I have some old yoga tapes and need to pull these out. But really about the only type of exercise I really enjoy is walking. But the RA has creeped into my spine now and makes it so difficult to walk any distances. And it makes a vicious cycle. No exercise means no weight loss and then makes it worse for the joints. If I am gung-ho about anything, it needs to be getting out early mornings and walking at least 10-15 minutes every day. The calorie count is in my range and so are portion sizes...so I mainly need to concentrate on the physical part.
I may put all my points to the way side and mainly concentrate on being more physical and writing about my journey here. Thanks for bearing with me. It has not been easy.