WATERMELLEN   78,699
SparkPoints
60,000-79,999 SparkPoints
 
 
WATERMELLEN's Recent Blog Entries

Back to Beck Day Forty-One: Keeping Skills Fresh

Sunday, November 23, 2014

www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=4086199


Beck tells me, as I get close to the end of the 6 week program, that I need to keep on keeping on.

And that I'll need a new "to do" list.

To keep my skills fresh.

It's a horrifying thought, frankly. That I can't just stop. That it can't just be "over".

But for me, dieting is permanent. I am not naturally thin. I must be eternally vigilant and avoid the temptations that I can't resist. (And that's an actual Beck card I made in 2011).

Here's another:

No amount of food would ever be enough food. I'm just as hungry 90 pounds overweight as when I stick to my goal weight.

This Beck refresher certainly brought home to me that my skills had slipped.

I was no longer "arranging my environment" to hide the cheese, the peanut butter and the trail mix. It's amazing to me how much of that stuff I was actually eating.

I was preplanning my food and exercise -- but not carefully enough.

I was no longer sitting down to eat everything, slowly and mindfully. I was eating a lot of stuff standing up. Small thing, but a big thing (and I caught myself this morning licking feta crumbs off my fingers while making my omelette).

I was no longer tolerating hunger and reminding myself that hunger is not an emergency.

And: I was no longer identifying and coping with sabotaging thoughts effectively enough: including my primary sabotaging thought, that having to spend the time doing this just isn't "fair".

All right then.

Keeping on keeping on means keeping these Beck skills fresh.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALIIDA 11/23/2014 10:33PM

    You are a great guide for us maintainers and I'm awed that you manage to fit in all the work do this this blog series on Beck. Keeping the skills fresh is what maintenance is all about.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DDOORN 11/23/2014 9:31PM

    You are such a ROCK with your maintenance! I continue to vacillate and allow "stuff" to knock me off track. But I keep coming back...to what I know works!

Don

Report Inappropriate Comment
DSHONEYC 11/23/2014 8:48PM

    emoticon You are my hero!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JANTHEBLONDE 11/23/2014 8:46PM

    Woo hoo! I applaud you for being on day 41! "Keep on keeping on!" You're doing fabulous!
Hugs and love,
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
_LINDA 11/23/2014 6:28PM

    Seems like we all need a tune up every now and then to keep the engine running smoothly. Sadly, it IS a never ending vigilance. Yes, not fair. But really worth it.
Keep on leading the way! You are doing great!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SLENDERELLA61 11/23/2014 5:40PM

    What a great series revisiting Beck! Very impressive. You've learned and relearned and taught and reminded many of us. Partly due to your inspiration, I've ordered the green Beck book which I expect to be very similar but just enough different to capture my best attention. Will let you know!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PHOENIX1949 11/23/2014 3:28PM

    Have my copy of 'The Beck DIET solution' which is now airing out (allergies to most inks an issue - such a drag). Hope to have my head in the right place to work through the book soon. Always appreciate information from a successful maintainer.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SANDICANE 11/23/2014 2:04PM

    Yep, keeping on keeping on....

I can tell you I'm more hungry at goal weight than I was 50 pounds higher, but I'm less "ruled" by food, and for that, I am truly grateful!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DOGLADY13 11/23/2014 2:01PM

    "It's a horrifying thought, frankly. That I can't just stop. That it can't just be "over". "

Amen, sister! I can't think that way. I definitely have to approach the nutrition and exercise plan as "one day at a time." When I think of it in terms of years and decades, I get discouraged. But I can do it today.

Report Inappropriate Comment
GABY1948 11/23/2014 1:20PM

    This is your BEST blog yet, WATERMELLEN! It is EXACTLY what I NEEDED to hear. I was dreading the day I would get to the end of the weeks!

I am going to WRITE THE CARDS that you mention because they are ME (too). I cannot believe this is you too...you will always be your "vanity" picture in my mind!

You definitely have a LOT of followers from this, me included! It has been quite an experience that I WILL keep fresh! DH, (John), is always reminding me of things and he sits at the table with me for EVERY meal/snack.

THANK you for allowing me to ride along as I did my own program. I shall miss your blogs on it but have saved so much of them!

emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
FUNLOVEN 11/23/2014 12:32PM

    I think this refresher has served you well, Ellen. I know it most certainly has served many of us in Spark World well as you introduced us to Beck. So here is another emoticon for all of the great blogs as you worked your way through them.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PATRICIA-CR 11/23/2014 12:26PM

    It's always right on time to refresh good healthy habits!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
FIFIFRIZZLE 11/23/2014 12:26PM

    'No amount of food would ever be enough food. I'm just as hungry 90 pounds overweight as when I stick to my goal weight.'

This really struck a chord with me.

Not that I have exactly reached my goal weight. But I will, and when I do this will really help me.
Thanks, Watermellen!

Report Inappropriate Comment
1CRAZYDOG 11/23/2014 12:24PM

    Definitely it is necessary to get back to the basics! And that reminder that hunger is NOT an emergency!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ONEKIDSMOM 11/23/2014 11:34AM

    I have so enjoyed following your blogs on Beck, and will soon start my own... I finished the novel I had been reading Saturday morning, and read the foreword and the introduction and am really excited about starting (even though some of the concepts I can already feel myself resisting!) Why? Because I'm a believer in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. My son's experience as a mental health specialist puts it right in his wheelhouse, as he says.

I'm a believer because I've seen it work, but you are so right it takes vigilance. One has to continue to USE the skills acquired. Fairness doesn't even enter into it. Being fit is something I want? This is what I have to do to get it. NO CHOICE, as I keep hearing y'all say... Oh, well!

What a great program to review in wrapping up a good year. Thanks for sharing your trip back through the program. emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/23/2014 11:35:16 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
2BDYNAMIC 11/23/2014 11:14AM

    I am willing to bet those skills are engrained IN you .............. you are a testimony of diligence and commitment and SUCCESS!! emoticon I am CONFIDENT you will continue to succeed!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRAVELGRRL 11/23/2014 11:08AM

    I love your cards and will add them to my pile. I don't need a Beck refresher, I need a REBOOT!

AND, I finally figured out my thorny notification problem so won't miss any more wonderful Watermellen-isms!!!

Keep up the great work, you are an inspiration -- we don't have to be perfect, we just have to keep striving...

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ELRIDDICK 11/23/2014 10:57AM

  Thanks for sharing

Report Inappropriate Comment


Back to Beck Day Forty: Enrich My Life Now

Saturday, November 22, 2014

www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=4083423


This is a fave Beck tip for me.

Because if there's not much fun happening in my life besides eating -- then of course eating takes on a disproportionate and weighty importance. And I feel excessively deprived if I can't eat whatever I want whenever I want. Which I can't, of course. Not if I want to be healthy, slim and fit.

And of course if I DO eat too much and feel obese and unattractive, then I don't "deserve" to do anything else special to enrich my life now. No reason to buy pretty undies or perfume. Plus I'll lack confidence to engage in social activities if I feel the target of implicit criticism because of my weight. I'll lack the self-assurance to go to the beach in a bathing suit. Or turn up at the gym in spandex workout clothes . . .

Failing to enrich my life NOW contributes to that vicious circle of compensating for life's drabness by eating too much. So that I'll feel even less worth of enriching my life now. And so on . . . might as well sit on the couch with the Cheetos (perfectly named, no?)

For Beck the injunction to enrich our lives in the present is full of specific ideas. A check list. What can I do to take my mind off food? What are my new goals? There's a chart in the workbook: travel; buying stylin' clothes; taking up a hobby; signing up for a class; improving the situation at work; looking for a new job; dating; joining a club or a team or a group; going to the beach; making social plans with new friends; volunteering. I do these, most of 'em, at various times . . . and there's lots of space to add stuff.

Beck urges that once I've chosen a new goal or two I should develop a plan. What's the first step? When?

Gotta say, there's a connection between the "comfortable life" and "comfort food".

When did people start saying, "I'm just not comfortable with that" as an all-purpose excuse or justification for . . . not doing what we need to do? Including tolerating some hunger. Comfort is highly over-rated, right? Comfort goes with elastic-waisted pants. Caftans. Granny undies. Which can all comfortably accommodate mac 'n cheese in giant portions!! But don't contribute to genuine comfort within our own skins.

When I'm thinner, I'm actually less armoured. Which makes me more vulnerable, in a sense. And that vulnerability makes me more open to quiet and everyday experiences of joy. Winter sunsets behind the trees in the park. That cardinal deep in the hemlock. The smell of the hemlock. The soughing sound of the wind in its branches. Beck doesn't mention these -- she's more about "big plans".

But for me, paying attention to the ordinary and exquisite pleasures that surround me for the noticing actually matters more. Noticing is a huge source of authentic comfort.

Life itself is rich, yes it is, and that richness is not about stuffing my face with rich foods. But neither is it necessarily the result of more striving and more effort and more goal-setting and more discipline.

The richness of life surrounds me. It's the present. It's there, for the taking.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLUEJEAN99 11/24/2014 1:57AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JERICHO1991 11/23/2014 10:44PM

    Good blog. Thank you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ROCKYCPA 11/23/2014 10:36PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PEGGYO 11/23/2014 9:28PM

    thanks

Report Inappropriate Comment
GODDREAMDIVA1 11/23/2014 8:36PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GODDREAMDIVA1 11/23/2014 8:35PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GODDREAMDIVA1 11/23/2014 8:35PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PATRICIAANN46 11/23/2014 5:41PM

  I emoticon what you are saying. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BOB5148 11/23/2014 5:01PM

  emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/23/2014 5:02:06 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
DIANNEMT 11/23/2014 3:16PM

    My husband and I are trying to do a "fun" thing every week or so.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHERYLP461 11/23/2014 3:12PM

    You are doing a great job!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEPTUNE1939 11/23/2014 2:21PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NONNAOF2 11/23/2014 1:32PM

  Wonderful blog and thoughts on handling everyday life and the foods we eat, or choose not to and focus on other things with our life!! :-)

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRYINGHARD54 11/23/2014 11:34AM

    Awesome. Thank you for this blog

Report Inappropriate Comment
LCRUMLEY81 11/23/2014 10:55AM

  Thank you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PHHHISC 11/23/2014 10:28AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
WORKNPROGRESS49 11/23/2014 9:56AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHOAPIE 11/23/2014 8:57AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KANOE10 11/23/2014 8:53AM

    Life is rich with joys to be appreciated. It does not need to be rich with food. I also do not need more goals to enrich my life right now. I am content to enjoy my life as it is.
Thanks for an interesting blog.

Report Inappropriate Comment
TIMEHASCOME56 11/23/2014 8:48AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NANCY- 11/23/2014 8:01AM

    How interesting that the day you posted this I was feeding my spirit not my stomach. It certainly does full us up.

WTG on your review of Beck and sharing it with all of us.
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BROOKLYN_BORN 11/23/2014 8:00AM

    Absolutely agree. Find something else besides food.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PENOWOK 11/23/2014 7:59AM

    wonderful...so well said!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BESSHAILE 11/23/2014 7:40AM

    You are singing my song. We have such a feast of options to feed our lives in ways that don't involve food. Nobody's life should ever be hungry. Food is not the only nourishment.!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LEANJEAN6 11/23/2014 7:29AM

    very well thought out!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHERYLHURT 11/23/2014 7:27AM

  Live intentionally!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUNSHINEGB 11/23/2014 7:13AM

    Excellent, thank you for sharing this!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KLMEIRING 11/23/2014 6:24AM

    Very good food for thought. emoticon emoticon



Report Inappropriate Comment
MARYJOANNA 11/23/2014 5:37AM

  We are indeed so transfixed with comfort. that anything not associated with comfort is a chore.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ARTJAC 11/23/2014 12:10AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALIIDA 11/22/2014 9:43PM

    I've been working on enriching my life, but it still needs a lot more work. Your blog has inspired me to do that ....... And stop and smell the roses, too.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SLENDERELLA61 11/22/2014 8:11PM

    Beautiful blog, full of wisdom. Life is rich. Let's embrace it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
FEEDTHEHUNGER 11/22/2014 4:49PM

    I agree with you that one of the biggest payoffs of eating properly and exercising is the mental and emotional stability to notice, see, appreciate and feel joyful about things. It's a huge motivator for me to stick with my plan.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BOOKAPHILE 11/22/2014 11:37AM

    I love getting so involved in something that I don't even think about food for hours. I'd like that to be a more regular happening, but I suspect it would lose some of its effectiveness if I became accustomed to it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
_LINDA 11/22/2014 11:31AM

    emoticon So totally agree. I have never been much of a people person, and joining clubs and having to socialize was way out of my comfort zone. I so much preferred getting out in nature and enjoying the little marvels of life. The small chipmunk on a railing I passed by while hiking the trail to my physio Thursday. The geese hunkered down by the shore. The ice floes crashing over the weir, and this morning the ice crystals turning to a lightly falling snow. Travel is one of the things I really want to do, but have been unable to because of my club work and needing to be present for month end. I have no choice but to travel solo so will be at the mercy of fixed date bus tours, the only option for someone who doesn't drive to get out to remote areas to see the special sites. I would have loved to go on an eco tour, but roughing it doesn't work with my current condition. Yes, the need to fill your time with something other than food is critical, especially challenging when you are recovering from surgeries stuck at home..

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRAVELGRRL 11/22/2014 11:22AM

    I'm starting to get ticked off. I've RESUBSCRIBED to your blog umpteen times, yet again this morning, there you were -- down in my "unsubscribed" list, even though I haven't gotten a single email notification of a blog posting since we got home.

Oh well, I'll get it figured out...eventually!

In the meantime, you are ROCKING the Beck Revisitation!! Love your take on Day 39.

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRAVELGRRL 11/22/2014 11:22AM

    I'm starting to get ticked off. I've RESUBSCRIBED to your blog umpteen times, yet again this morning, there you were -- down in my "unsubscribed" list, even though I haven't gotten a single email notification of a blog posting since we got home.

Oh well, I'll get it figured out...eventually!

In the meantime, you are ROCKING the Beck Revisitation!! Love your take on Day 39.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ONEKIDSMOM 11/22/2014 10:39AM

    I'm totally with you on everyday joys being more visible to one when not obsessed with comfort eating... well written and thoughtful, as usual! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DSHONEYC 11/22/2014 10:25AM

    Yes, yes, yes...living intentionally. How much we sleep-walk through our lives (including mindless eating) is a crime. Prosecute, I say...for your benefit. We need to all hold ourselves accountable to enjoy and yes, to share, the richness that is our life.
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PHEBESS 11/22/2014 10:15AM

    Life is definitely in the small, seemingly insignificant details - as you say, small details of nature. Or a little child who smiles as they walk by. Reading a wonderful book. Taking a walk in a new location. They all add up to the richness of life.

But I will admit, pretty undies make me feel better all the time!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SANDICANE 11/22/2014 9:34AM

    "The richness of life surrounds me. It's the present. It's there, for the taking."

Well said...time to take.


Report Inappropriate Comment
GABY1948 11/22/2014 9:32AM

    emoticon blog....helped put some of this into perspective for me. I feel my life is pretty enriched now and you told me all the reasons to KEEP it that way!

And, I will LOVE being able to buy those pretty undies again and knowing this time I can MAINTAIN the weight!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
1CRAZYDOG 11/22/2014 9:31AM

    excellent! there is never an end to the ways in which we can enrich our lives if we want to.

Thanks for sharing this.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PATRICIA-CR 11/22/2014 9:25AM

    Having your mind and senses active in different things you enjoy, and focus on them is priceless for putting food in a lower place.

Report Inappropriate Comment


Back to Beck Day Thirty-Nine: Keeping Up With Exercise

Friday, November 21, 2014

www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=4080911


Nothing's changed here since 2011: I exercise.

I'm a life-long exerciser.

When I'm sick (and I've got a yucky cold at the moment) I take it easy. But I always get back to it.

Not for weight loss or weight maintenance.

But: because is makes me feel great. Keeps me strong. Keeps me toned. Keeps me healthy from a cardio perspective. Keeps that blood pressure optimal.

Golf in the summer. XC in the winter. Gym all year round. Spontaneous exercise zooming up and down stairs, walking to the printer at work -- every opportunity. I like to move.

Can't "out train" a crappy diet though. There is no amount of exercise that will permit me to eat whatever I want whenever I want, or even remotely close.

Oh well.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_LINDA 11/21/2014 11:39PM

    So right, exercise is a must, even with a healthy diet, its all for the best. Its wonderful you have activities to enjoy in both winter and summer! Never gets old!
Sorry to hear you still have that nasty cold :-(( So not fair, people who look after themselves shouldn't get sick..
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ONEKIDSMOM 11/21/2014 8:11PM

    You've got the very best reason for exercise and getting back to it: "because is makes me feel great". Amen, amen, amen!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SLENDERELLA61 11/21/2014 4:02PM

    You should be very proud of your long-term commitment to exercise. It helps us in so many ways. Here's to another Beck chapter that you've got down. No changes needed. You are there!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRAVELGRRL 11/21/2014 1:07PM

    I'm an "adult onset athlete" but like you, it's now part of my life. Today I know I got in an extra 1,000 steps easily by parking in the last row at the two mega-stores I visited today. It also reduces stress from having to vie with all the other drivers for the closest spots!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DSHONEYC 11/21/2014 10:38AM

    With your love of exercise, combined with your love of a good diet (you know the things you really love that are so good for you) = a great life.

Oh emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JANTHEBLONDE 11/21/2014 10:20AM

    Woo hoo! Congratulations on being on daily 39! I think you rock girlfriend! You are what sparks is all about! Love your blog today! I hope you have a fabulous Friday and a wonderful weekend!
Hugs and love,
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BROOKLYN_BORN 11/21/2014 9:28AM

    I was the perfect example of not being able to outrun my fork.

I wish everyone could find joy in movement and not think of exercise as drudgery. It doesn't have to be HS gym class. It can be fun. Just find something you enjoy. There are SO many options.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BOOKAPHILE 11/21/2014 9:27AM

    Still harboring that cold? You've had it a long time! I hope you're better soon!

Diet and exercise together work best for me.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DDOORN 11/21/2014 9:14AM

    I'm fortunate enough to have locked exercise into my routine so that it's pretty unshakeable. I never worked out consistently throughout most of my life. It's only been during the past 10-15 years that this has developed.

I used to be a bit fanatical and looked to do cardio every day. But that was back when I fell into the trap of believing I could cancel bad food choices through working out all the time. WAY WRONG!

Since reining in my food choices I find I can relax a bit and generally workout 3-4 times a week.

Don

Comment edited on: 11/21/2014 9:15:15 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
FEEDTHEHUNGER 11/21/2014 8:34AM

    I'm with you 100%. No matter how big or small I ever was, I never stopped the exercise habit for long. It just feels too good to move not to.

I had always heard that exercise was not a good way to lose weight, but a great way to give you a reason to lose weight.

Too true!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GABY1948 11/21/2014 8:05AM

    YEP! I agree, I'm an exerciser too! I also love the "you can't outrun your fork"...I have tried many times...just doesn't work!

Another GREAT blog! I can't wait to get to this day...you are almost done!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KANOE10 11/21/2014 8:02AM

    I like the comment..you can't outrun your fork. I have made exercise part of my life also.

Report Inappropriate Comment
FUNLOVEN 11/21/2014 7:54AM

    I am not a born exerciser, as a matter of fact I would tell you most of the time that I hate exercise, but it has a lot of benefits for sure and I have come to realize that it is part of life that I just have to learn to accept.

There are people who do lose weight without exercise, but I think that doing a little exercise allows us to eat a bit more of the things we enjoy most. For me the key is to find activities that are fun and exercise within themselves. I'm not in my 20s, 30s, or even, 40s any longer and realize that my body will never look like it did then. I also have no desire to be at a gym exercising for 120 minutes a day - really!

When I am finished with my post-op recovery period I can't wait to get back to the exercises I love most - walking, Curves, Hula Hooping, Zumba, Hiking! It sounds like you have found a happy medium of fun things to do in your life too. Good for you, Ellen.

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PATRICIA-CR 11/21/2014 7:28AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Hooray for your HEALTHY exercise routine!!! Half the battle won with this emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
1CRAZYDOG 11/21/2014 7:25AM

    Awesome! I do this for the health benefits, too. All the rest is bonus points!



Report Inappropriate Comment
NANCY- 11/21/2014 7:17AM

    You are so right. What we want and what we need are two different things.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SANDICANE 11/21/2014 7:09AM

    Wanna be maintainers need only look at the example you set as a long-time maintainer to see how it's done! Keep on truckin' on Watermellen and I hope that "bug" departs soon!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PHEBESS 11/21/2014 7:04AM

    Yay for another day where you have the topic under control!

And feel better with that cold - lots of liquids for you, and bundle up in that freezing weather!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ELRIDDICK 11/21/2014 7:03AM

  Thanks for sharing

Report Inappropriate Comment


Back to Beck Day Thirty-Eight: Dealing With a Plateau

Thursday, November 20, 2014

www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=4078138


My weight is staying steady. I'm on a plateau.

And that's OK. A plateau really is the essence of maintenance.

I'm not trying to lose weight. I'm trying to stop yo-yoing.

Sticking with the Beck program punctiliously is keeping my weight steady.

If I wanted to lose more weight, I'd need to exercise more, eat less, or some combo of the above. But I really can't eat less and meet my nutritional requirements for protein, carbs, healthy fats, various vitamins/minerals etc. which I track in addition to my calories.

And I really am exercising as much as I'm finding time for at this particular moment, about 3 x a week. (Although yup, could always exercise more: exercise just doesn't seem to affect my weight all that much. Important for other reasons primarily . . . mood, toning, cardio fitness and so forth).

Recent physical with new doctor: my blood pressure is optimal. My blood work is perfect. She spontaneously referred to me as "thin" when she recommended I get a base line bone density test (because "thin" is one indicator for monitoring bone density). And pointed out that my BMI is also optimal. (I was incredulous, of course: after all, in my own mind I still weigh 230 pounds, right?)

My goodness it's a lot of work to stay in the same place (sabotaging thought!!). And yes it is. NO CHOICE. Eating sitting down. Preplanning, Tracking.

Oh well.

This probably is my maintenance weight. And this probably is the regime required to keep me at my maintenance weight.

Oh well. Oh well. Oh well.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALIIDA 11/20/2014 10:24PM

    It does sound as if you're doing everything right and everything is just where it should be.
Congratulations! That's fantastic!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SLENDERELLA61 11/20/2014 8:33PM

    What a wonderful pronouncement from your doctor - optimal blood pressure, "thin", and optimal BMI. You are just doing great! Yes, this is a the best plateau. Your commitment to keeping up a healthy lifestyle is just beautiful! And so are you. -Marsha

Report Inappropriate Comment
DOGLADY13 11/20/2014 6:52PM

    I am always thinking... hmmm, if I want to eat more, I need to exercise more.

Report Inappropriate Comment
_LINDA 11/20/2014 6:48PM

    emoticon emoticon Great check up, steady weight, win, win!
Sounds perfect to me! Getting it done with the minimal amount of exercising too -shows your food plan is right on the money!!
You go girl!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JANTHEBLONDE 11/20/2014 6:30PM

    Woo hoo! Congratulations on being on day 38! I am so proud of you! You are doing awesome on your maintenance! I hope your day is full of lots of love and happiness!
Hugs and love
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CREPEDCRUSADER 11/20/2014 2:09PM

    What an awesome check-up!
Maintenance. Sounds like somebody(you;) is doing it right.
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DDOORN 11/20/2014 1:02PM

    "Thin"...what a WIN! :-)

Thank you again for your ongoing inspiration, motivation and education!

Don

Report Inappropriate Comment
KANOE10 11/20/2014 11:12AM

    You have got it down. Your plateau is a good one. You are doing very well.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DSHONEYC 11/20/2014 10:35AM

    OH, emoticon !

Report Inappropriate Comment
BOOKAPHILE 11/20/2014 10:32AM

    Congratulations on the great checkup. Enjoy your good health, good numbers and good maintenance.

Report Inappropriate Comment
FIFIFRIZZLE 11/20/2014 10:26AM

    Oh well, said the maintenance queen.
When is your book coming out, you awesome blogger?

Report Inappropriate Comment
BOSS61 11/20/2014 9:44AM

    Ah to plateau at a level where the Doc says thin. Good for you!

My Doc feeds peanuts to the elephant!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NANCY- 11/20/2014 9:21AM

    That recent physical sounds like you are making all the right moves. NIce to have the info to back up your efforts.

Report Inappropriate Comment
FEEDTHEHUNGER 11/20/2014 9:21AM

    Maintaining is where the rubber meets the road and so far it looks like you're not just a good driver, you're a great one!

emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ROXYZMOM 11/20/2014 9:02AM

    Excellent!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PATRICIA-CR 11/20/2014 8:34AM

    emoticon emoticon You are doing emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NELLJONES 11/20/2014 8:30AM

    By definition, maintenance is an intentional, lifelong plateau. There isn't a lot of applause for Staying the Same, which is why I love the At Goal Team and the challenges that actually celebrate Staying the Same.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ISHIIGIRL 11/20/2014 8:24AM

    You are doing great! Day 9 and 10 for me ( missed my reading yesterday). Onward and upward from here!

Report Inappropriate Comment
FUNLOVEN 11/20/2014 8:22AM

    You and all of the Spark Friends who have commented on you blog - those thin maintainers - are an inspiration to me !

I have my annual physical in January, but my lab test results will be from this past October so they may not be stellar, since that was the period when I first decided to get my butt back in gear. I know one thing for sure though - the stats for me will look great at my 2016 doctor visit!

Keep up the good work, Ellen !

Report Inappropriate Comment
SANDICANE 11/20/2014 8:12AM

    Congratulations on your plateau! That's what we're striving for...a lifetime plateau. Just to type the words gives me goose bumps.

Yes, you are doing so super re-visiting Beck, and the tools she gives us are perfect for "plateauing".

Hope you have a fabulous fabulous day!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRAVELGRRL 11/20/2014 7:54AM

    After all of your great success "at plateau" and getting all that great news from your doctor, instead of "OH WELL" I think you should be saying:

"OH YES! OH YES! OH YES!!!!!!!!!"

It may be work, but it's obviously WORKING!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ONEKIDSMOM 11/20/2014 7:50AM

    Yep, sounds about right! Congrats on a fine check up.

Report Inappropriate Comment
GABY1948 11/20/2014 7:28AM

    WHAT a great blog as usual. At first, I saw the dreaded word "PLATEAU" but then as with other things you have helped me SO much....maintenance IS just a PLATEAU but a GOOD one! THANKS!

There are not too many negatives about being "thin" and I have to take Calcium because my last bone density test (during my maintenance of just previous weight) showed osteopenia. But I will be glad that it is where it is....and to be at maximum HEALTHY weight!

Have a GREAT DAY! emoticon



Report Inappropriate Comment
1CRAZYDOG 11/20/2014 7:21AM

    That's right . . . for me, maintenance is a plateau! But it's where I want/need to be, so that's perfect. Congrats on your great check up. Yup, had my bone density done, too . . . cuz I'm thin! Whowoulda thunk it!

Have a thankful Thursday! HUGS

Report Inappropriate Comment
PHEBESS 11/20/2014 7:19AM

    You're on the GOOD kind of a plateau!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment


Back to Beck: Day Thirty-Seven, Dealing With Stress!

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

OK, I'm dealing with major stress in my life at the moment -- and so I'm "cheating" here, not simply providing a link to my 2011 blog on Day Thirty-Seven but actually copying and pasting it in here.

Because I'm short of time today to provide a "fresh take" and also because -- yup -- the 2011 version really does summarize why it's important to deal with stress, which for most of us is a key factor in triggering overeating.

"Once again, Beck gives us a real cognitive workout, synthesizing previous steps in her program.

People overeat because they are stressed: therefore, reducing stress is an essential element of weight loss and weight loss maintenance.

How to do it? Predictably, Beck treats stress as "problem" to be solved. So once again we need to revisit our priorities: we have to make time for dieting and exercise activities. I cannot permit myself to wallow in the pressures of work. And we need to identify the thinking error at issue in any instance of stress(Day 26), then apply the seven questions technique (Day 27) either to reduce the stress or to conclude that the problem is one incapable of resolution which must be accepted.

Beck believes that stress is primarily related to the thinking error of dysfunctional rules: and in particular the "shoulds" applied to ourselves ("I should be absolutely perfect at my job; I should not ever make any errors; I should win every time; I should stay late every evening to work on files and assist clients . . . "). In addition we apply "shoulds" to others: "My clients should be more appreciative; my kids should be more independent and better launched; my work colleagues should be more helpful . . . ". It's easy to see how dysfunctional rules for myself translate into insuperable burdens for others; after all, if I'm perfect everyone else should be too!! Right . . .

Beck suggests that we can reduce stress by replacing "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" (for ourselves and others) with "It's more realistic to expect . . . ". So: it's more realistic to expect that the scales won't always move downwards. It's more realistic to expect that sometimes I will mindlessly put food in my mouth standing up. It's more realistic to expect that clients will be frightened, angry, resentful at the changes imposed upon their lives. It's more realistic to accept that adult children in this difficult economy take longer to find their feet.

I don't have perfect control over myself. I don't have perfect control over others. And others, of course, don't have perfect control over themselves.

Oh, well. Oh, well.

But mere resignation to this loss of control is not the best result either. I need to think and permit myself to experience how much more humane the world is -- for me, and for everyone around me -- when I relax my "rules" without an "all or nothing" mentality. It's not the case that I'm either perfect or need not make any effort at all. It's not the case that others are either saints or sinners. There is a middle path, and it's only by adopting the middle path that I can stay on this journey indefinitely.

So . . . clearly this is about more than weight loss. This is about uncovering the perfectionism that underlies so many persistent weight loss problems. The best IS the enemy of the good (as Voltaire told us, only in French!).

Beck is a cognitive psychologist, and so she does deal with these issues primarily inside the head. She might have also discussed how (because we are bodies) excess weight creates biophysical stresses: just carrying it around (knee/hip joints); increased likelihood of heart/diabetes/cancer issues. She might have considered the social stressors of being heavy: the snide side glances delivered to the heavy person approaching the airplane seat, or chowing down on a burger and fries at a restaurant, or loading her cart in the chips aisle at the grocery store. She might also have discussed how exercise short cuts much of this cognitive rumination: endorphins are magic -- as I discovered yet again yesterday skiing over crisp sparkly snow late in the afternoon after a very stressful day at work.

So: SHOULD Beck have expanded her analysis of stress in these ways? It's realistic to expect that she could not deal with everything in the few short pages allocated to this chapter!! And: I'm so grateful she provided me with the insights she did, provoking me to think more deeply about stress, its relationship to weight control and its relationship to thinking errors."

You can see I did in fact apply this to me today -- acknowledging that there is no "rule" that I "should" prepare a fresh blog. Acknowledging that it's not realistic for me to do that today.

Not shoulding on myself. Not gonna be shoulding on anybody else either. And I'm sticking with the program when it comes to all the techniques of avoiding overeating when stressed. NO CHOICE. Oh well!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANCY- 11/20/2014 9:23AM

    Thankfully we get to choose our actions and reactions.

Report Inappropriate Comment
OVERWORKEDJANET 11/19/2014 9:58PM

    Whew. why did I read it fast? Because I'm STRESSED! Good blog no matter it's a re-run!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BROOKLYN_BORN 11/19/2014 6:21PM

    There's the stress we put on ourselves because of perfectionism. That is somewhat within our control.

What about the stress caused by our superiors who put unreasonable demands on us? That's so much harder to deal with. Sometimes there is no solution to that except to quit which isn't always financially possible.
Can you tell that was my situation? The stress melted away upon retirement. Maybe that's why it took me so long to get serious about my weight.



Report Inappropriate Comment
TRAVELGRRL 11/19/2014 4:59PM

    Of course having a bunch of self-imposed "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" for ourselves AND others not only creates stress but makes us pretty unpleasant and judgmental to be around.

"Perfect is the enemy of the good."

"It's better to be a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without."

I don't know why I keep losing my blog subscriptions, but hopefully I'm back on board with yours!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SANDICANE 11/19/2014 3:08PM

    What a GREAT blog! No should. No shouldn't. No choice. Oh well!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PATRICIA-CR 11/19/2014 2:43PM

    If only we could control our emotional roller coaster when stress really hit us. Oh, well, a lot to ponder about...

Report Inappropriate Comment
SLENDERELLA61 11/19/2014 1:45PM

    Great blog. Deserves being shared again. And that you use it to help yourself through a challenging time is brilliant! Helped me, too. Thanks.

Report Inappropriate Comment
_LINDA 11/19/2014 1:36PM

    Old or new, your blogs are always informative and helpful and inspirational! You know how to show how its done! Love exercise as a catch all stress reliever :-)
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
1CRAZYDOG 11/19/2014 12:19PM

    Yes, the "coulda/woulda/shoulda" definitely causes stress! Have to let go of the perfectionistic tendencies.



Report Inappropriate Comment
FEEDTHEHUNGER 11/19/2014 11:55AM

    Getting over being the people pleasing, over delivering, anxious to be liked person has done more for my stress reduction than any weight loss ever could; however, getting over the weight is going to take a load of stress off my joints, heart and bodily systems. I try not to should myself into anything and examine my thoughts when I find myself thinking what I "should" do.

Great blog -- very current (even though it's a post from the past).

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DSHONEYC 11/19/2014 10:56AM

    We appreciate you not "shoulding" on us! Ah expectations are so uplifting on one hand, and then there is the big disappointment of not living up to the hype.

A little stress keeps us on our toes...a lot of stress is put upon us my ourselves. Silly people. Let's stop it right now!

If you need a destresser...your fans are here awaiting the load. We can help you carry it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PHEBESS 11/19/2014 10:02AM

    I hope you found a way to destress - long walk, hot bath, something.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KRISKECK 11/19/2014 9:43AM

    It is interesting how much of weight loss is not about food but instead about what takes place inside our heads and in our hearts (emotionally and symbolically, as well as physically!). Part of my program is purposeful stress reduction, has been for a long time. Again, thank you for taking the time to break it down into small bite-sized pieces and at the same time, expand the subject, most insightful.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DDOORN 11/19/2014 9:42AM

    Dealing with major stress and STILL blogging! AND MAINTAINING!

You ROCK the SPARK in SO many ways!

Thx for all you do Ellen,

Don

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALIIDA 11/19/2014 9:28AM

    These are just the issues I've been working on in my year off work. I'm so grateful to find more stimulation on your page every day. I hope things ease up as you go into the second half of the week.

Comment edited on: 11/19/2014 9:28:51 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
FUNLOVEN 11/19/2014 9:08AM

    Thanks for helping me bring something to the forefront in my mind on a problem I have been dealing with for some time - PERFECTIONISM ! Not only in myself, but expecting it in others as well. After all, I'm far from perfect and if I can strive fore perfectionism then why can't you?! Wrong thinking! Everyone does the best that they can do at any given time regardless of what I expect. Time to can the perfectionism attitude because none of us are perfect, least of all me.

Thanks, Ellen!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GABY1948 11/19/2014 9:08AM

    GREAT blog (again). I believe the word "SHOULD" SHOULD be eliminated from the English Language (and probably lots of others) but we would just find another word to overuse in its place!

You struck a note with a lot of us!

Hope your day goes well, sounds pretty stressful in itself. Remember to BREATHE!

emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KANOE10 11/19/2014 8:43AM

    I think the should be perfect attitude is the basis of much stress with ourselves and with others. You are right about walking down the middle road on this issue. I can feel the effects of stress on my body. I am so glad you went skiing and enjoyed it. It sounds like a stressful week for you. I also hear you about adult children needing a longer time to find their way in our current society! This was a good reminder to be realistic about expectations. Thank you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ONEKIDSMOM 11/19/2014 8:37AM

    Funny thing, I was just thinking about my own issues this week, and the "should" word and perfectionism, and people-pleasing came into my thought process. And here you are today talking about "should" on behalf of the Beck day 37 work... Coincidence? As the DOGLADY13 would say, "I think not!" emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ROXYZMOM 11/19/2014 8:35AM

    Stress is definitely something I need to tackle. It has been keeping me awake at night, I find myself getting more and more sensitive to it! Ugh!
And, I am not running right now - hmmmm!!

Report Inappropriate Comment


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 Last Page