Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Recommitting. Yes I go to meetings, but I realized today I haven't been working my program hard enough. My abstinence is...okay. Could be better. I need to live the steps! I've been too passive, not even thinking about it, the steps, the whole things.
So without further ado: hi I'm Katleen, compulsive eater. I'm at step one fully: I admit I'm powerless over food and my eating behaviors, that my life is unmanageable.
God grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
Only by following the steps and using the tools of recovery will I be able to shed this toxic weight and the negativity that whispers in my head, the voice of this disease. Thanks.
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Friends I am home...and I am pathetically sad. I mean I have always felt heartache when I came home from a wonderful vacation, but with me being overwhelming un satisfied in my life/weight /health... and surrounding here anyway, it is much worth coming back. I feel sad, I feel lonely...the only thing I missed where you (thanks to a bad connection), my family and friends...I really do need to change a lot. I hope after the first days of sulking I will find the energy I felt during this trip to start new. I went for a short walk anyway. But I don't know...it was just a few minutes of thinking about my boring life,and my Mom and how much I wish i could fix her but no one can and how hard it is for my daughter to care for her.I don't enjoy feeling helpless.. I am happy though to have my amazing family and facebook friends who I know love and support me in my hardships.
Thursday, August 28, 2014
I've been struggling the last few days. But something happened yesterday that brought me back to reality, Life in general. As someone was talking about their life & how bad things were, then about that time my program kicked in.
***I am the only one responsible for me. With the help of my HP - GOD, I can do this. It's up to me to pick up the material, work the Steps, go to meetings, use the tools, communication with a Sponsor & pray/meditate daily. One foot in front of the other, one day at a time, praying & meditating along this journey. I see a light at the beginning of my tunnel. I'm so hiped, if my body would let me, I could run for miles, maybe one day.***
Blessings to all.
I'm going for a walk.
Monday, August 04, 2014
Itís never too late to live a life that makes you proud. If you donít learn anything else from this post, learn that. We get one shot at this. Thereís no age limit on changing your course, and to settle in and be stuck in a life that isnít authentic is a tragic waste. Honestly, itís never too late or too early to be who you are capable of being. Thereís no time limit Ė you can simply start and stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. You can make the best or the worst of it. Itís up to you, so make the best of it. Do things that startle you. Feel things youíve never felt before. Spend time with people who help you grow. Live a life youíre proud of. And if you find that youíre not, have the courage to make a change.
Saturday, August 02, 2014
I moved away but i keep looking back,I need to re-learn and make new habits here and now,yes,self preservation.I need to put it first and formost,I love my mom so much but she is dying and I can't prevent that from happening,so I must let it and her go to save myself.It breaks my heart.
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