WILDXANGELS   11,839
SparkPoints
10,000-14,999 SparkPoints
 
 
WILDXANGELS's Recent Blog Entries

LET IT GO OR NOT

Saturday, April 12, 2014

so happy we have this page,as some of you know me n the mr had lots of problems last year and i had a order for him to stay away,he broke it and now its on his record.he told me a couple weeks ago he was gonna ask the judge to seal it so it does not show when he applys for a job,i told him the court would ask me and i would say no so not to bother. he did not believe me and asked for a court date!!!i am beyond mad!!!!!! they are going to ask me and i will say no just like i told him!!!!!!yes,he is a bit better but far from out of the woods and still treats me disrespectful and i cant have anything in the home the way i want it,besiodfes its a physical safety issue,it is just to soon and he has not worked on his issues enough.thanks for letting me vent.i love you all.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MJEFFERSON23 4/19/2014 11:49AM

  emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KST1969 4/19/2014 12:33AM

    Stand your ground. Trust your gut.

Report Inappropriate Comment
USMAWIFE 4/13/2014 9:39PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALIHIKES 4/13/2014 3:17PM

    I think your instincts are telling you that the restraining order needs to stay

Report Inappropriate Comment
NELLJONES 4/13/2014 7:43AM

    I love Vic's comment about never starting over but starting anew. The courts offer protection, but only if you use it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MJEFFERSON23 4/13/2014 7:42AM

  Take care of yourself and follow your own good judgment!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ELSCO55 4/12/2014 10:49PM

    stay strong and safe.

Report Inappropriate Comment
COCK-ROBIN 4/12/2014 10:01PM

    You continue in my prayers.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KNYAGENYA 4/12/2014 4:45PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TIME2BLOOM4ME 4/12/2014 3:53PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JTREMBATH 4/12/2014 3:37PM

    Stay strong and stick to it emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHAMROCKY2K 4/12/2014 2:25PM

    You are helping him in the long run this way. I agree with the others - STAY STRONG. It IS great to vent too.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MAGA99 4/12/2014 2:03PM

    I agree stay strong I made the mistake many many years ago of dropping a restraining order against my ex and to thank me he had me hostage for 3 days and put me thru a wall

so please please always think of your safety

Report Inappropriate Comment
PATTYKLAVER 4/12/2014 1:24PM

    Stay strong! Most times, they promise the moon and can't get it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MINILOVER1 4/12/2014 1:07PM

    Don't let your guard down. Stay strong!! You deserve better.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MJRVIC2000 4/12/2014 12:36PM

    Never start over because you will make the same mistakes again. START ANEW! God Bless YOU! Vic.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEB62BIE62 4/12/2014 12:25PM

    Stay safe.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JAMBABY0 4/12/2014 11:44AM

    You have to do what is safe and best for YOU, good for you, and maybe a needed reminder for him.

Report Inappropriate Comment


ONE STEP AHEAD

Tuesday, April 08, 2014

I know it isn't about weight. This is embarrassing but also an accomplishment. I wasn't going to share, but I thought I should. In 2007, I stopped overeating and started my recovery. In 2010, I stopped cutting myself. 7 year recovery with overeating and 4 for cutting. In 2011-2012, I weighed 435 pounds. I could barely walk upstairs and refused to take my medications. I was diagnosed as a diabetic and other problems. I started doing one thing at a time. Taking one step at a time. One day at a time. Now it is 2014, I am now 295 pounds. I have lost 150 pounds plus in about 2 and a half years with sickness and exercise since I started my weight loss journey. One day at a time

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ELSCO55 4/10/2014 12:36PM

    GREAT!

Report Inappropriate Comment
USMAWIFE 4/9/2014 7:07PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JTREMBATH 4/9/2014 2:36PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOTHEPRO 4/9/2014 12:32PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MAMAMACK41 4/9/2014 7:53AM

    That is phenomenal!! You have so much to be proud of! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CELEST 4/9/2014 4:46AM

    All victories are that...VICTORIES....well done.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DIDMIS 4/9/2014 12:17AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
COCK-ROBIN 4/8/2014 10:12PM

    I'm so happy for you. You are emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
68ANNE 4/8/2014 10:07PM

    I am so proud of you. Awesome job

Report Inappropriate Comment
-WRKNG2ABTTRME- 4/8/2014 4:08PM

    Awesome accomplishments... emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NELLIEC 4/8/2014 3:55PM

    That is quite an accomplishment. That is wonderful!

Report Inappropriate Comment
HAYHAY97 4/8/2014 3:31PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KNYAGENYA 4/8/2014 3:16PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
POSITIVEHOPE 4/8/2014 1:34PM

    Thank you for sharing. You should be proud of your accomplishments. I can easily see the connection. Our lives were painful and we reached for a way to feel comfort if only for a moment. The comfort was short and followed by shame, remorse, regret, anger and self recrimination that left us feeling worse. No wonder we felt badly much of the time.
Your walk to recovery has had enormous challenges. Congratulations! Losing 150+ pounds is awesome. I'm sure you never thought it would be possible. One day at a time is all we have. The past is passed and the future isn't close enough.
Make today the best day of your journey.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MJ7DM33 4/8/2014 1:28PM

  emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


OA AND ME

Monday, April 07, 2014

OA works as these pictures of my physical recovery illustrate. However, the true gift of recovery is not losing over 150 plus lbs, but silencing that incessant, abusive noise of "what am I going to eat, when, how, and where am I going to eat it, how am I going to lose weight, when will I join Weight Watchers...AGAIN...wait until after Easter, how much do I weigh, what size am I, why am I so weak, pathetic, FAT? It is not fair, look at that skinny girl she must be so happy, it is too hard. BLAH BLAH BLAH." By going to meetings, having a sponsor, working the steps, using the tools to learn how to manage life without eating and obsessing about food is truly glorious. I love this program and my friends

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEDDYPEDDY 4/11/2014 12:52AM

    I am really happy for you - keep up the good work! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NELLJONES 4/8/2014 8:29AM

    As a long time AA member who has many friends in OA, I can say that the 12 step programs are truly the miracle I had been looking for. They are truly the easier, softer way.

Report Inappropriate Comment
LIGHTNING572 4/7/2014 11:52PM

    I agree that the biggest challenge is shushing those little voices trying to steer us in the wrong direction. Thanks for sharing

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOMMA_BEAR_69 4/7/2014 9:59PM

    Glad you have found what works for you. WAY TO GO!!! Keep up your great work. YOU ARE SO WORTH IT!!!
I am going to check out OA. Thank you for posting this information! Enjoy a wonderful week!!!
Prayers, blessings and hugs,
Helen

Report Inappropriate Comment
68ANNE 4/7/2014 5:52PM

    I love the suggestion from POSITIVEHOPE. You can change or stop those!

Report Inappropriate Comment
POSITIVEHOPE 4/7/2014 5:50PM

    Dr Amy Johnson explained recent brain research on where those negative voices come from in our heads. Those voices that say says Eat it. NOW!. She helped me reframe those thoughts into "Neurological Junk." When I see them that way, they become powerless. I recommend reading her free online 23 page booklet, "Fighting the Urge." To get the tools that I successfully used to stop my compulsive eating. It really works!
So here is the link:
http://dramyjohnson.com/wp-cont
ent/uploads/2013/12/Fighting-th
e-Urge_Dr-Amy-Johnson.pdf


Report Inappropriate Comment
KITT52 4/7/2014 3:39PM

    it does seem like a wonderful relationship with food...glad it is working for you

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEVERORNOW 4/7/2014 1:34PM

    You have to do what works for YOU! Way to go on setting some goals! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SASSY220888 4/7/2014 11:52AM

    I am so proud of yoiu that you have been working on your recovery from overeating and has been successful. I totally agree with you that I alot of overeating has to do with our self-talk. I have been journaling to eliminate my negative self-talk. With your success, I may look into OA in my area.

God Bless

Report Inappropriate Comment
RHOOK20047 4/7/2014 11:20AM

    I have read about OA and have heard great things about it. Glad you found what works for you and good luck on you weight loss journey!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PENNYSAVER2 4/7/2014 10:54AM

    OA has been a blessing for me. I'm actually starting to enjoy life more instead of just existing in a food coma.



Report Inappropriate Comment
KNYAGENYA 4/7/2014 10:41AM

    It's amazing how often I think of food.

Report Inappropriate Comment


BACK TO BASICS

Monday, April 07, 2014

I'm slowly killing myself... avoiding everything. Especially Me... I've managed to set some goals to take care of me. Yous know the basic everyday living that I have purposely stopped doing. Like pray... brush my teeth...eat... take a shower...get sleep...look in the mirror and say: I am worth it. Be happy...do something positive for myself...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TIME2BLOOM4ME 4/12/2014 3:55PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PEZMOM1 4/7/2014 8:16PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PATTYR81 4/7/2014 3:15PM

    I'm with ya!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NELLIEC 4/7/2014 3:11PM

    I don't know what your financial situation is, but if you are low-income, you can get counseling for free. You definitely have the signs of depression.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JTREMBATH 4/7/2014 2:41PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SASSY220888 4/7/2014 11:56AM

    I so agree with you that life is about taking small steps. The smaller steps that you are taking will lead you to wonderful places and things in your light. You are worth it and you deserve it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PEGGYO 4/7/2014 9:36AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
METALJEN73 4/7/2014 8:52AM

    You are worth it. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GOLFGMA 4/7/2014 8:39AM

    You're saying to us "Never give up" and I totally agree. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KNYAGENYA 4/7/2014 8:37AM

    You can do this. Have faith in yourself. Every little effort counts.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PATTYKLAVER 4/7/2014 8:33AM

    This could have been written by me! Thanks for inspiring me...I will re-set my goals today and start taking better care of me. I will pamper myself more: shave legs more, take care of hair, get manicures and pedicures (at a cosmetology school - the prices are so much cheaper there!) I can do this!

Report Inappropriate Comment
WAY2GOCAT 4/7/2014 8:26AM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NELLJONES 4/7/2014 8:24AM

    When they say to start with the small things, for some of us those small things are smaller than for others, but it's still a start.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOMMA_BEAR_69 4/7/2014 8:00AM

    You are moving in the right direction. Keep doing little positives for yourself and notice how good you feel.
Blessings and hugs,
Helen

Report Inappropriate Comment
THINFITKINDVGAN 4/7/2014 7:23AM

    Great steps in the right direction.

Report Inappropriate Comment


PRAYING 4 ME

Tuesday, April 01, 2014

Feel so so like I can't get anything accomplished . I know that with the overeaters anonymous program that they say you first have to admit your powerless over the food and that your life has become unmanageable which is also true for me but in addition to eating , even the things in my whole life are so much out of control. I seem so tired usually and also can't seem to concentrate enough to get these done that are things I should and want to work on like improving my diet , reading the Bible . Prayer time ,to exercise more . To cook a little healthier , To clean some . Etc etc . I do get some things accomplished but not a lot . Now that I'm in the group of Tops I really am trying to Want to change my eating tendencies but they are not easy I see to change. I want to lose like everyone else hopes to weekly but I feel it's a big task for me to change so fast in a new program . I am not in any way wanting Or ever going to give up . I just feel I'm having to really write down first the reasons why i should lose the weight and why I want to lose the weight for many reasons. I have countless times ran from diet place to diet place with each time thinking it was the last but many things I see now were never dealt with like my sexual abuse for years where after that started at age 4 that was when I started gaining all the weight . I have had many times that I have lose a lot of weight even once losing 225 lbs at age 22 but soon after that I got severely raped from another neighbor and back then I never ever shared anything that happened . I didn't find my voice to talk about my past until about 6 years ago . I've come such a long way since then emotionally etc but my health and weight has never been higher or more with problems. I know something I have problems with is following directions and being accountable . I fail in that a lot . I seem to only be selfish in my food intake even though its killing me . I so lost but won't ever give up trying to do better. It's in my mind constantly . I'm going tomorrow to see a pastor at Calvary chapel for prayer and to ask for help . I feel I'm at the bottom of a whole that no matter what I do I seem to be stuck . I only lean now on the great faithfulness of Jesus Christ to get me better and will continue to ask for prayer and guidance from others . Thanks for listening . Know I appreciate everyone's help . Love kathleen . Even one thing is Friday the food donation place blessed us with a 5 gallon container of ice cream so I'm having a hard time staying away from it . I picked it but have a hard time just taking alittle bit . Usually never have it in the house . Thanks

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KNYAGENYA 4/5/2014 2:42PM

    You can do it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
LOSINGLINNDY 4/1/2014 9:53PM

    My prayers are with you. Keep your spirits up and emoticon .

Report Inappropriate Comment
IMREITE 4/1/2014 9:29PM

    1 challenge at a time

Report Inappropriate Comment
-WRKNG2ABTTRME- 4/1/2014 8:31PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PATTYKLAVER 4/1/2014 4:40PM

    With God on our sides, we can do anything!

Report Inappropriate Comment
COOP9002 4/1/2014 1:08PM

    Praying for your encouragement and some grace. Blessings upon you today.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOTHERBEAR4 4/1/2014 10:00AM

    Prayers are being sent. I agree ~ Make small changes and focus on those. Slow & steady. It's overwhelming to look at a big list ~ so start with one and conquer that and go to the next!

You can do this!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEVERORNOW 4/1/2014 9:48AM

    Your strength shines thru in the fact that you are here and able to share so much of yourself. I'm glad you will be meeting with a pastor and have put your faith and trust in Jesus. Satan would defeat you if he could, but God's Spirit in you is so much more powerful. I'm praying for you. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BLONDEDOG 4/1/2014 9:01AM

    I am so proud of you for writing this blog. It must have been very courageous of you to do that. You have many things to be proud of. 1. You have lost weight before, you must have worked very hard at that. 2. You have admitted you have an issue with eating, that is not easy to do. 3. You have joined TOPS, a wonderful organization that will give you the support your clearly crave. and 4. You are reaching out to the church to help you through a rough time. You are obviously trying very hard.

Can I ask you a couple of questions? Maybe you could make a blog post about each question.

What would be the best thing about eating healthy? and
What would be the worst thing about eating healthy?

Think about those questions and your answers. Also, rather than trying to change everything all at once, pick something small. And it doesn't have to be related to what you eat. It can be anything, from drinking a glass of water before each meal to taking a lap around the house before each meal. Or setting the timer for 10 minutes once every day and focus on cleaning a different room of the house for those 10 minutes.

Think about it and remember.....YOU ROCK!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PEZMOM1 4/1/2014 8:57AM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
FRANNIEDID 4/1/2014 8:31AM

    You have not failed if you don't quit, you are working toward a new you and that takes a lot of patience. As long as you keep working at this you are a success. I do think talking with your pastor would be helpful, also don't try to change every piece of your life at one time. Work on one small thing. As an example, one of my bigger issues is snacking after work. I get started and I can't stop so I decided to work on that issue and not worry as much about other things. I am finding ways to stay busy when I get home so I don't eat and it is helping me a great deal. When you find that you have dealt with one issue, move on to another. Post in your Spark Teams to find people who can relate to the things you are dealing with, they can provide a lot of support. Try to find someone who has lost weight and developed a more healthy lifestyle to get support and help from. I agree with Glory63, keep track of those small victories, they help you feel better about your journey. Remember this is a journey with many obstacles and detours along the way.

We are here for you!

Report Inappropriate Comment
COCK-ROBIN 4/1/2014 8:12AM

    My prayers go with you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BUSYGRANNY5 4/1/2014 8:01AM

    Be kind and patient with yourself, just like you would a good friend! Don't try to change too much at one time.... be consistent but go slowly.... slow and steady is good!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KATIEWOLFIE 4/1/2014 7:59AM

    I'm praying for you, thanks for your honesty. Stay positive and don't forget to thank God for the small victories, celebrate them, and always remember how far you've come. I'm inspired by you! Please keep sharing your journey with the rest of us, and please say a prayer for me, too! I'm celebrating day # 2 of recovery... again. I'm just so grateful to have another chance to get healthy. God didn't let me die in my last relapse. I'm here today, I'm alive and have another shot at it. Thanks for sharing, and thanks for letting me share!

Report Inappropriate Comment
RHOOK20047 4/1/2014 7:31AM

    Call on your inner strength to combat your weekness and work toward your strengths. Ask God for His help and you will make it through. Set small goals and they will contribute to success with larger goals. Keep at it and don't give up! We are here to help! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KEELIE21 4/1/2014 6:57AM

    Sounds like you've already proved to yourself how much strength you have inside yourself, you've overcome so much already, and you can overcome this as well. Don't think of ALL the things you feel you need to change. Pick one thing and focus on that, take small steps and you will have small successes that lead to bigger ones.
emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GLORY63 4/1/2014 6:54AM

    emoticon

Record your small victories no matter how insignificant you think they are. For example, I used to drink at least 2 sodas a day. I started with one day only having 1. I felt good about that and tried again the next day. Now in the last 2 weeks I've only had 1 soda. I either have water or unsweet tea.

You can make small changes to get to your goal of a healthier you.

Report Inappropriate Comment


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 Last Page