WOLFKITTY   65,810
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WOLFKITTY's Recent Blog Entries

Vulnerability

Sunday, August 31, 2014

https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brow
n_on_vulnerability


A common theme with people is to like things that reinforces the beliefs they already hold. This TED talk linked above is exactly like that. It touches on the themes of some of my previous blogs when I was struggling to figure out self-love, the ones where I was trying to explain why when I let go of the need to look perfect in every picture I started to relax and think about those I love or the experience I was having and people noticed and complimented my pictures more, that kindness to yourself invariably results on being more kind and patient and less judgmental to others...

I like reminders, even if it's things we already know.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LINTPICKER 9/1/2014 7:56AM

    Thanks for sharing this. She was humorous and clear.


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ONESPOTLEFT 8/31/2014 7:40PM

    thanks for sharing

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ICECUB 8/31/2014 4:28PM

    emoticon emoticon

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Someone Was Worried About My Heart

Sunday, August 17, 2014


Since I started working at this company.


Since I started working at my current job.

Someone told me yesterday they had worried about my heart. I face heartbreak on all kinds of fronts. I look forward to the days ahead when I am stronger. I'm strong, but not as strong as I can be.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LISAN0415 8/28/2014 3:18AM

    I understand how you feel, I work midnights, and it can be challenging when working 12 hour shifts to eat properly, but it's not impossible. I know stress from home and work can make weight loss more challenging too, but again, it's about finding other coping mechanisms and making a plan.

I bring lots of healthy and quick snacks with me to work, and when I get stressed, I don't turn to food, I pray, I call a friend, I take a walk, I take a hot Epsom salt bath... or just take a 15 minute time out and read or play a video game on my phone at home.

We can do this!

Hugs!
Lisa

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ADVENTURE-GIRL 8/26/2014 8:06PM

    emoticon

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LINTPICKER 8/24/2014 5:42AM

    You see the issue, now the hard part of learning how to deal with it. You can do this. You are strong and determined!!

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KEEPITUP62 8/23/2014 3:07PM

    The stress can be very difficult to handle and it shows that your job must be causing some serious challenges in your life.
I pray that you will somehow find your back to remembering that food will not change the stress or make it go away.
Maybe if you can focus on fitness when you feel the urge to eat, it might help to get you back on track.

You yourself know how good you feel after a workout.
Saying prayers for you that all will work out for you.
I am on your side.

Susan emoticon

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KNH771 8/23/2014 11:06AM

    You and I could swap graphs! Hang in there. A set back is just a bump in the road. Being aware of a situation, even if you aren't able to act right away, is a step in the right direction. I don't know what you're facing, but I'll be thinking of, and praying for, you.

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RENZRYD 8/19/2014 11:45PM

    Hugs lady. We all need a reset, just remember you can hit the button. emoticon
-Renee

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NEWSGIRL2177 8/18/2014 12:01PM

    I worry about you, too. I'm here if you need me.
emoticon

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MCJULIEO 8/18/2014 10:19AM

    Sometimes it's nice to know that somebody cares.... we do!

(not in a creepy stalker-y way, and not in a possessive smother-y way, just in a "yay, You, you can do it!" kind of way...)

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DAWNDMOORE40 8/17/2014 8:32PM

    emoticon If you have God, anything is possible! If you don't have God, then everything seems like an obstacle. Be strong and live by Faith! emoticon emoticon

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ICECUB 8/17/2014 7:41PM

    emoticon emoticon

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FRENCHTOSD 8/17/2014 7:31PM

    Those charts are very telling. What is the problem with this job?

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MJRVIC2000 8/17/2014 4:46PM

    Faith makes everything possible; Hope makes everything work; and Love make everything beautiful! God Bless YOU! Vic.

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CAROL494 8/17/2014 4:36PM

  emoticon

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Superhero stuff

Friday, August 08, 2014

I feel stronger walking up the stairs at work finally. It took 2 months! Most days I go up and down the 18 steps only a few times- average 100 steps a day. And I was going so slow that as soon as I got the tiniest faster I pushed harder, so I was always out of breath. It was deceptively discouraging. But I made myself avoid the elevator.

Link to article excerpt below- www.themarysue.com/chris-pratt-now-a
-god-who-could-play-indiana-jones/

Guadians star said this:
Pratt also says training for his unprecedentedly physical role as Peter Quill has given him Gamora-levels of badassness:

"I can do 40-inch box jumps now. Action-hero physical stuff. Jumping that high feels really good. You see a giant hillside, and you think, I wanna get up that. You see a building, you think, I could climb that. When you get in shape, the world around you becomes things you wanna jump on and climb on."
***
Seriously, it doesn't take movie star fitness to feel fairly invincible. The confidence from KNOWINg things, even if no one else does. The mileage count-down on freeway signs making you think about how you ran that last weekend. The freedom of feeling empowered to not be stuck, even if your security crumbles, like your car breaks down.

It changes your whole life. www.themarysue.com/chris-pratt-now-a
-god-who-could-play-indiana-jones/

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RENZRYD 8/19/2014 11:49PM

    Thanks for posting this...now I will dream of Indiana tonight ;)

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MCJULIEO 8/18/2014 10:23AM

    Wow! I can train to be a Super Hero! Niiiiice!

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LISAN0415 8/14/2014 4:39PM

    That's awesome! Keep up the great work, more results are coming!

Lisa

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JLPEASE 8/8/2014 11:38AM

    emoticon

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PHOENIX829 8/8/2014 9:57AM

    I was just thinking something similar the other day - there's a certain loop I walk through town that measures about 2.5 miles, and when I first started walking it I wanted to cut it short, or turn around, or hurl myself into traffic. But it started getting easier and easier, and now I'm looking forward to adding different legs to the route to make it longer, or to add more hills or something to make it more challenging. It's great to feel pride in the progress you've made, and I really feel that no amount of progress is too small!

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ICECUB 8/8/2014 9:04AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LINTPICKER 8/8/2014 8:21AM

    Great! emoticon

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GRETA242 8/8/2014 7:45AM

    Keep going! You can do this...you are doing this. Good job!

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ZRIE014 8/8/2014 1:20AM

  have a good day.

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Giving Rewards

Monday, July 28, 2014

Partially to tuck away that last blog, I'm posting another right away that is a little more positive.

What does a reward minus a few gifts equal? More reward.

How can that be? Well, in hard numbers it looks like this:
$20 - $4.50 - $5 - $10.50 = Feeling rewarded

*I spent $4.50 buying a stranger coffee and breakfast, since all he could afford was the free water.
*I spent 2 hours with a dog that was running loose in the streets, and gave a neighborhood kid $5 after he recognized the dog and without hesitation ran down the street to show me where it lived.
*I spent $10.50 on a leash while I was waiting for the owners to call me back since they weren't home, and I was afraid the doggy needed water or treats or to go potty.

They gave me $20 when the dog was finally home. I tried to refuse it, but he insisted. It wasn't until later that I realized it was the perfect dollar amount for the gifts I freely gave to others. And yet, I am still the one who feels bestowed a gift. It may sound cliched or cheesy, but it's true.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MCJULIEO 8/18/2014 10:25AM

    What a wonderful story!

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MIMULUSBUG 8/4/2014 8:25AM

    AMEN SISTA!!!!


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MANLEYSANDY 7/31/2014 2:08PM

    Amazing!!

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LISAN0415 7/31/2014 4:22AM

    I always find that when do our best to give to others, God blesses us 3 times that!

-Lisa

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RUDITUDI2000 7/30/2014 10:13PM

    AWWW I love this story! Thanks for sharing that is sooo sweet of you to lovingly care for this cute doggie!

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DEBPRE16 7/29/2014 5:55PM

    emoticon

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ASHESS85 7/29/2014 9:04AM

    awwww you helped in some many ways! I've seen some people walk or drive right by a stray dog. I always stop, no matter what! emoticon

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KALISWALKER 7/28/2014 9:48AM

    What a great pay it forward!

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LINTPICKER 7/28/2014 9:19AM

    God blesses!! Great!

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ONCEUPONABOD 7/28/2014 8:51AM

    Jocelyn,

You're AWESOME! I enjoyed both your blogs! You have courage and heart!

We will SUCCEED in our quest for health & fitness as long as we persevere! And, this much I can tell you, we're NOT quitters! We're DONE Girls! Let's get it DONE! I'm so DONE with my extra pounds and excuses. Can't wait to resume the journey with you my Sparktacular friend!

Yours truly,
Julie :o)

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SNOOPYLINKOS 7/28/2014 7:39AM

    What cute little ears! You are his hero!

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ICECUB 7/28/2014 6:55AM

    emoticon emoticon

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Gaining 2014

Monday, July 28, 2014

The end of the year is gaining on us.... But I've been gaining weight and losing fitness in 2014.

I'm between 290-293, up from my lowest in 2012 of ...I don't even remember what my lowest weight was. :-/ Oh wait! I had shirts made. I know at one point I was 245. The thing is that between 245 and 275, where I hovered while I maintained my -100 pounds for a few years wasn't mentally very difficult for me.

I haven't been at my -100 pounds benchmark for more than a couple months this year. It took awhile for my muscle mass to drop, and I think the increasing body fat % made up for it until I bent down and realized that it's almost as hard to tie my shoes at 292 as it was at 375+, my highest.


Then

And now 292. (Edit: Nope. 298 per scale this a.m.)


It's hard to let that accomplishment, that milestone, go. It's hard not to be able to say to new people that I've lost 100 pounds. 20 pounds make such a difference that I no longer automatically think that I've lost more than 80 pounds because I'm still focused on what I've gained. And guess what? It doesn't make me motivated to go walk. It doesn't assist me in choosing healthy foods, or getting enough sleep, or reducing my stress. Not a big surprise.

That's not how I lost 135 pounds. I need to accept this chapter of my story, and move forward.

I got some workout bras this weekend, to overcome one of the challenges and limits of gaining the weight and decreasing lean muscle. As it turns out, I got them in the same size as the largest bra I own and was wearing - probably at least 1 size too small, because I didn't realize I had stretched out that one.

That's a little bit of a wake-up call.
Before my divorce, I took solace in some Spark Messages I got from women I had admired, so much so that I laminated them. They pop up every once in awhile, hidden in my wallet, in my purse, with receipts... Just, everywhere. I know they're supposed to be private, the messages that come with goodies. But here's one of my favorite.



Another chime in the wake-up alarm. When I wonder why my breathing is so hard or why I'm hurting so much, or why I can't find anything that seems to fit, I remember that I haven't been exercising consistently in a long time. I can't blame other people. I can't cry over not having a workout partner any more. I can't let myself keep having pass after pass after pass on accountability because I work so many hours. All of the 80 pounds I still have lost, those first 80, were from when I was stressed, and working long hours, and unhappy.

I chose to move. I chose to stretch. I chose to live. And I wasn't so much focused on what came before or what was to come, I was just working on feeling better in the now.

That is my goal.


I could be at my previous weight goal by next year with an average loss of 1.5/week.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DONE_LISA 8/29/2014 9:05PM

    you can do this! you inspire me and you have never given up! keep on moving girl!

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MCJULIEO 8/18/2014 10:30AM

    We know what you're going through,
and You know that we're rooting for you...

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ADVENTURE-GIRL 8/9/2014 11:10PM

    Jocelyn,

I was having a hard time with starting over in May 2012. It took me 20 months to get my head back in it. I had a wake up call after we did Irongirl in December. I felt so embarrassed and sad that I had gained weight back. As soon I got home I just started moving and tracking my food. I didnít even change my eating habits that much, but exercising made me feel better about myself, which in turn eventually motivated me to improve my eating. Finally, when I stopped dwelling on the guilty feelings I was able to let go and move past it.

You are a strong woman. I know you can do this again. I try to think of re-losing as another opportunity to learn about myself and the missteps that led to weight gain. This is a life long struggle that we will constantly have to work on. You already have so much insight on losing weight and living a healthy lifestyle.

Remember how good it feels to take care of yourself. Miss you! If you ever need anything or someone to talk to I am here for you friend.

Love, Bonnie
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MIMULUSBUG 8/4/2014 8:22AM

    OH POOP!!! I HATE, HATE, HATE IT WHEN MY LOST POUNDS FIND ME AGAIN!

But usually, it's because I've stopped moving....

Nuff said. We gotta own it and start MOVING FORWARD AGAIN!

NEVER GIVE UP.
NEVER GIVE IN.
emoticon


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MANLEYSANDY 7/31/2014 2:25PM

    Jocelyn,

You gotta just keep trying but the advice I pass out here because I think it is important, is to get to the real issue as to what is holding you back to losing the weight or as I call it the "brain weight"...I have lost and regained weight so many times in my life I can't even tell you but until I really got down to the nitty gritty I knew that I would not be successful.

I used to live in San Diego and I never thought of working out as "working out" because it is so beautiful there, the weather is perfect, I walked every where I could and the work out became secondary. Once you are trapped in 110 degree weather you don't realize how great of an exercise canvas you have until it is gone! Baby steps is all you need and get out there an breath that ocean air, or take that hike or walk in the neighborhood because you can!!

Keep chugging along, I know you can do it!!!

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LISAN0415 7/31/2014 4:15AM

    Ohhhhh Jocelyn, I feel you girl!!!

It's hard once we have climbed a challenging mountain, and then take a tumble, to take those first steps to climb it again, but we can do this... and maybe even go further this time!

I too lost quite a bit of weight in 2012-2013, and was feeling good. I got married, and then gor pregnant (very happily of course) and although I didn't get to my heaviest, I gained quite a bit of weight and many inches back.
The weight just was not coming over after the pregnancy, and nothing fit, my pregnancy clothes were too big, my pre pregnancy clothes were too small. It was very disheartening.

I had to do a re-start on May 22nd, and I will tell you : the single biggest thing that has helped me lose pretty consistently week-week has been staying in my calorie range, and accurately and faithfully tracking and meauring my food and calories.

I haven't been as active as I'd like, but I am going to start making fitness another priority, but the good news is, that even without the extra fitness I have been losing weight, fat and inches. I know more results are coming. I have heard and read many times that weight loss is 80% nutrition and 20% activity. But of course activity is also good for many things, energy, stress relieve, heart health...

It sounds like you have reasoanble and sensible goals, and you may be surprised that you start to surpass them. The aerobic condiioning will come back as you keep up with some exercise, and it gets easier with each 5 lbs lost. I remember when I first started exercising at my heaviest, I found it difficult to motivate myself to workout, it was difficult...but as my conditionig improved and the extra weight came off, I started to enjoy it more and more, and I started to see and feel the results frm my workouts.

I am so happy that you regained your motivation, and I am here to support you- along with the other Sparkers!

You are a beautiful person, and I know this is a difficult journey, but you have overcome alot, I know how difficult divorce can be- but it is so true it does get darkest before the sunrise... Your blessings are coming!

Keep in touch!
Lisa :)

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RUDITUDI2000 7/30/2014 10:12PM

    If we do not quit, we will get there eventually! Just do the next best thing...you can do it! You did it once, you will get there again and beyond. Totally believe in you! emoticon

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ALOFA0509 7/30/2014 12:44PM

    Hey sista!!! I'm in the same boat right now. Moving 4ward, is the only way to go. I'm carrying the extra weight and it shows not just in my clothes but my confidence. emoticon Ive haven't lost Hope. The pilot light is just a weak flicker, but it's On.. emoticon Hugs to you my friend

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MUSICALLYMINDED 7/28/2014 10:46PM

    I hope you get your groove back soon. I know how disappointing it is to gain back lost weight. It feels harder to lose than before :( Happy trails, my friend!

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KIBAISREADY 7/28/2014 6:16PM

    I know how hard it is to admit the regain. I'm so glad that you have the strength to face it. I know you can do it again girlie! emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/28/2014 6:19:19 PM

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ALBURBRIDGE 7/28/2014 12:42PM

    Your post touched me because I've been in your shoes. I lost 100 pounds in 2010 and then gained it all back. I'm down now 115 so I was able to get motivated again, but it's really hard to own up to what you're doing to yourself WHILE you are doing it. I know so many of us have slips or detours on our weight loss journey. Just stop beating yourself up about it. It's fabulous you are still down 80 pounds and go from there. The healthy habits will feel familiar and I think you will surprise yourself how easily you slip back into the healthier lifestyle once you get started.

As far as not having the workout buddy... you weren't doing it for him originally so you definitely don't need anyone now. I have to tell myself that whenever my husband is tired and won't go walking with me. I have to be able to do this on my own, even though it's nicer to have a partner. I can't depend on him always being willing to exercise with me so my motivation has to come from within.

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BEFIT_WITHGUSTO 7/28/2014 11:30AM

    I have faith in you, Jocelyn!!

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LINTPICKER 7/28/2014 9:17AM

    Your strong and determined!! You rock and can do this!

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GRETA242 7/28/2014 8:52AM

    You can do this (again).

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ICECUB 7/28/2014 6:59AM

    I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL . IF I AM GOOD WITH MY DIET THEN I'M BAD WITH THE FITNESS PART. BUT I AM NOT GIVINGG UP. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DAWNSMITH93 7/28/2014 2:39AM

    I spent the last part of 2013 gaining. It is hard after that wake up, but it gets better. Find your routine. Brush your teeth. Stretch. Walk. However you need to do it. Recently my motivation to get out and walk has wavered because my sweet walking buddy (my dog) passed on the 4th. She is missed but I choose to walk anyway. And every day it gets easier. I go a little faster. Each day may seem like a mountain, but the next day it will be one more success to check off! Keep at it!

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