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Tomorrow is IT! (asthma permitting)

Monday, September 29, 2014

Today will be a do-over tomorrow!
To start off...I forgot to put on my pedometer this morning....for the first time since I got it in March, today was a very slow day at work so I know I didn't get many steps in.
I had an asthma attack at work and my inhaler was making me queasy (figured out that one was expired)

To top it all off....I had something decent to eat in the fridge at work left over from yesterday.....I could feel my blood sugar dropping while I was waiting for my sister to pick me up after work and checked the fridge....yep. My bag was gone. Either someone picked it up by accident or it was tossed in the trash. I usually have a lunchbox but yesterday I just tossed everything into a shopping bag.
The thing of it is that if it was tossed in the trash, its not like someone cleaned out the fridge, lol!

I got hit with a giant craving for cheese fries...but did I stop there? Nope. I ate a patty melt as well.

I am feeling like a stuffed sausage and am feeling bad both because I ate food that makes me feel bad, and the fact that I let it get out of control.

Had another asthma attack this evening and wasn't able to get out for a walk to start pushing that junk through my system so I decided I have had enough.

I have already told my sister that I do not want a ride to/from work, checked the weather, and all I have left to do is to get some nutritious items packed and to make sure I have enough to fuel myself after work. (Something I often forget about)

TOMORROW IS THE DAY (asthma permitting...I hate to put a stipulation on it, but being able to breathe is preferred!)

I am completing my goal, I am riding my bike to work, working my shift and then riding all the way home.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUN66SHINE 9/29/2014 10:55PM

    Oh man! I hate asthma attacks! We have a problem at work where people take others lunches on purpose, it's maddening. I'm proud of you for not giving up and trying again tomorrow. Life isn't over so neither should be our attempts.

Hang in there!!

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DAISY-HIBANA 9/29/2014 10:46PM

    Yep, I just put a fresh inhaler in the pocket Saturday (just in case). Take care of yourself!

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STUDLEEJOE 9/29/2014 9:35PM


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Food Network Junkie!

Sunday, September 28, 2014

How do you know you are a Food Network junkie?
When a local Food Network Star comes into your work and you totally lose your sh*t!
Not only did I freak the hell out, I went fan-girl-stupid while talking to him and spent the rest of the day on an endorphin high!

Jeff Mauro was completely the awesomest guy ever! VERY nice and willing to look past my dorky-ness and chat with me for a minute!
He has a wonderful laugh and his wife and family were all very sweet too!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ADARKARA 9/29/2014 5:21AM

    Awww I love Jeff Mauro! I don't like sandwiches that much but I still watch him. That's so cool you met him and he was nice!

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Hospital visit for my mom

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

So...my weekend was....I don't even have the words.
I got a call from my mom's cell on Saturday and it went to voice mail. When I checked it, it was my stepdad and he said to call him back asap.
He said my mom was in the hospital since Thursday but he didn't have my number in his cell phone and I guess he didn't think to check hers until Saturday.

He said she had a neurologist appointment on Thursday and had not gotten much sleep the night before so he didn't think much of it when she was falling asleep in her wheelchair in the doctor's waiting room. My mom has had insomnia for years so occasional naps aren't surprising.
He said he woke her when she went to the little triage office where they do vital signs and stuff and after they went back to the exam room, she fell asleep while they waited on the doctor.

When the doctor came in, they couldn't get her to wake up...my stepdad said he panicked a bit as slapped her cheek and still nothing.
The doctor finally pinched that nerve in between her fingers and she roused a bit. The doctor checked her eyes and did a quick exam and said she was having a seizure.
They gave her some anti-seizure medication (Ativan) and her heart rate shot up to 220....so they gave her something else to counter that.

He kept her in his office until almost 8 that night before transporting her to the hospital.
The MRI scans on Friday showed that she has been having some strokes and she is VERY confused. Her potassium was also very low and they were trying to give her some via IV....which she ripped out.

She has been on heavy duty medications for years....since she was a teen and broke her tailbone.
I have also been telling her for years that all the doctors are stepping on each other and over medicating her because she is not honest with them.

It is a moot point now, but my mom is both a hypochondriac and an addict.
She has always focused in on my depression and moods and when I talked to her Saturday she asked if I was crying and when I sidestepped the question and said I was just calling to see how she was, she said 'Oh I'm fine!' (My mother is NEVER fine.)

The doctors have taken her off of ALL medications except for the anti-seizure, blood pressure, muscle relaxer, aspirin to thin her blood, and cholesterol medications.

I don't think there is much they can really do so they released her Monday after she was able to correctly tell them what city and state she lived in (questions she had been getting wrong for days)

My stepdad said that the whole time she was in the hospital, she laid on her bad side with no complaints and never complained about not feeling well, she just wanted to go home.
When I talked to her this morning, she was back to having an upset stomach and not wanting to eat and wanting my stepdad to bring her motion sickness meds ...I told him not to give her a thing without checking with her doctor first!

I have been beside myself all weekend about it and its so hard being so far away and not having my own car. I am just trying to keep within my 'circle of influence' and remain calm.

I keep telling myself that I can't control the weather and I can't magically make my mom better...but I will keep moving forward and keep hoping for the best.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    I am sorry you are going through this right now. emoticon

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BUTTERFLY-1976 9/24/2014 2:47PM

    emoticon emoticon

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ADARKARA 9/24/2014 10:07AM

    I'm really sorry to hear your mom is unwell. I am sending a lot of positive vibes in your direction today!

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SUN66SHINE 9/24/2014 12:49AM

    How horrible!! The frustration you must be feeling, the desperation of the situation. The black hole of fear, anxiety, and hopelessness threatens to suck you in and take you under at any given second! These are real, these are valid and you have every right to feel them. If you can remain calm with so much on your plate, my hats of to you, my dear SP friend! For there are no calm waters when storms rage in the sea. I will keep you and your family in my prayers and I sincerely wish the best for you and yours!! Agape.

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KAREN608 9/23/2014 10:21PM

    Oh my. That is quite the story about your Mom.
A have a few of my own, too, but different.

And it is true, some things we just can't fix no matter how we'd like to.

My Mom passed away and so neither I nor hubby have living parents.

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Taking what I can get

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Some days I take whatever little victories that I can get. Today....my socks matched and I didn't pee my pants. I'll take it!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAREN608 9/20/2014 1:52PM

    Hang in there.
Many days i wish i had a boxing bag hanging outside to punch to get it out of my system.

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ADARKARA 9/20/2014 5:50AM

    emoticon Tracy! I'm so sorry I didn't view/comment on this on the day you posted it. It must have slipped past me somehow.

I think most of us have those days where it's just hard to be motivated. And I know I've gone through periods where I don't lose for 2 months. I think that's pretty normal. Occasionally your body just says "hang on a sec, lady, I need to catch up!" Then the next month you lose extra to make up for it. As a math person, this bothers me, but the body's equation is like, super duper complicated! There are so many factors (pretty sure some of them are imaginary) that it doesn't always happen like we want.

And doctors aren't necessarily trained in nutrition. So it's a good thing you did your research!

Don't you worry about saying um a lot, I think you're doing fabulously!

Hope things are on the upswing for you!

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AQUAGIRL08 9/17/2014 9:42AM

    emoticon I can relate! Have a wonderful day!

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WIZKEY 9/16/2014 10:35PM

    Hey, if you didn't pee your pants at all, that's a HUGE victory in my book!! Every time I cough...
Tomorrow is another day (and hopefully better).

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Accomplishments or lack of?

Saturday, September 06, 2014

Just some thoughts

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUN66SHINE 9/17/2014 1:05AM

    Awww...sorry you've been plateaued this month! But I'm happy your socks match. I know all about that wetting business...not fun! Are you measuring and tracking? That might help you pinpoint a contributing factor to the plateau. Your 13 minute bike ride was better than sitting an extra 13 minutes on the couch! Super duper 13 minute exercise. Log it! Get your spark points. Hope you have a better week this week. See you again soon.
Hm....I think this posted under the wrong video. Go figure. See? Stuff happens to all of us.

Comment edited on: 9/17/2014 1:06:28 AM

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SUN66SHINE 9/6/2014 3:29PM

    You have such a soft and gentle soul and demeanor. Your voice is very therapeutic and the moments of laughter were adorable! I love people all shapes, sizes, colors, ethnicity, background, etc., and when I come across a gem personality like yours, it brings such joy to listen to your life journey. I really wish you the best!

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KAREN608 9/6/2014 1:54PM

    Ugh, even with restarting my computer isn't opening your video. Sigh. Technology at it's worse.

and today............IT WORKS! Yay!

Moving forward with you.

Comment edited on: 9/8/2014 5:05:56 PM

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ADARKARA 9/6/2014 12:21PM

    Oh Tracy, I loved this vlog SO HARD. You are so on the money about just keep moving forward and working on the mind as well as the body at the same time. You have such a fantastic perspective on this stuff. I also love how you talk about your dad. It sounds like we had similar relationships with our dads, which I think is somewhat rare for girls. Single dads don't get near enough credit in this world.

Our ups and downs and this mind game we all have to play to accomplish this "simple but not easy" weight loss thing is an important thing to share because it is what makes us humans.

HUGE hugs your way!


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ELRIDDICK 9/6/2014 10:59AM

  Thanks for sharing

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