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    AJALDER20T   2,469
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not what you thought

Thursday, December 11, 2014      1 comments

I think I had the basic concept even when I was fairly small that all those things that I believed in, there weren't all true. Santa, while amusing, was a representation of all the caring feelings that for some reason we bottle up til the end of... Read more

title to be imagined later

Wednesday, December 10, 2014      3 comments

I won't lie, I am not going to even try to make this short. Burning in a boonie-fire- I used to write. No, really, I used to WRITE. All the time. I had notebooks and notebooks of things. Conversations, overheard snippets while I was sitting h... Read more

running out of time and getting nowhere

Saturday, June 07, 2014      4 comments

so, my cousin is getting married in october, and back in december of last year i gave myself a weight loss goal that had me losing something like 3/4 of a pound a week.... totally doable right??? I had ten months to reach this goal and was go... Read more


Tuesday, May 13, 2014      2 comments

I put hungry in quotations because I KNOW that the reality of it is that this, being my one day off a week, is the day where the rest of my weeks worth of TIRED catches up with me. I am glad I got in two GOOD workouts plus some lawn mowing ti... Read more

a note on exercise, stretching, maxing out, and minding your bumps and bruises

Sunday, May 11, 2014      1 comments

This week, I have had my mind blown, twice. As per previous post in the week, firstly I had my mind blown by having one single day at my stupid gas station job where there were not threats made to me by some angry someone regarding my refusal... Read more

as if it isn't hard enough...

Saturday, May 10, 2014      2 comments

just a quick something to say here. as if it isn't hard enough to reach weight goals, be they loss, healthy gain, or maintenance, it really is total poo to: get on the digital scale, have it read out a number to you, get off the scale, get... Read more

one good day

Thursday, May 08, 2014      1 comments

hope i am not jinxing myself but I finally had one day at my gas station job where i didn't have someone yell at me when i refused to sell them alcohol (NEVER would i have thought I would be so glad to have been raised in a dry county). I am... Read more

getting over it (?)

Tuesday, April 29, 2014      1 comments

i have learned to hate that expression "get over it". I think it is possibly the worst thing that one could say to another--- okay, maybe not THE worst thing that someone could say to you but talk an extraordinarily concise way of telling som... Read more

splitting home

Thursday, November 07, 2013      0 comments

I finally got my as$ on a plane and went down to see my family. Check that Two planes there and two planes back. I am still scared of flying but I did it. A few things about it: I was never so glad to see the smoggy skies of Atlanta, nor so glad... Read more

something like clinging

Friday, October 04, 2013      1 comments

so, I haven't deleted my profile, but nothing has changed. I have been still stressing out about how much I eat and still eating roughly the same amount of calories. I have been pedaling on my "bike" five out of seven days for thirty minutes a d... Read more

giving up

Thursday, August 29, 2013      4 comments

fairly certain i am going to cancel my membership in spark people here soon. I track all my food and count my calories and do workouts and try to find energy to stay awake at work and lose a pound and half and gain in back and lose and gain coun... Read more

wow, I am distractable person....

Friday, August 09, 2013      1 comments

So I finally lost a COUPLE pounds and then I go on for six days without tracking ANYTHING, even though I KNOW I have to baby-sit MYSELF. I have to constantly remind myself that I have to remember to track things because staying on my own case ab... Read more

fool's awakening

Sunday, July 21, 2013      2 comments

So, i HAVE been bright enough to figure out that most of my (speakable ;) ) calorie burning that used to be was... walking. I walked to work, I walked at work, I walked home, I walked to and from social events, I walked to the park, I walked cir... Read more

baby step

Friday, July 19, 2013      0 comments

so, since starting a night shift job i have to try to keep myself functioning later at night, just so i don't mess with my body clock every week. I sat down at the computer after my partner went to sleep for the night then thought to myself, "ok... Read more

emotional mud---or is it quicksand?

Wednesday, July 17, 2013      0 comments

first of all, thanks to anyone and everyone who has sent positive energy my way relating to my previous posts(rants). I know a few things at this point, a. nothing that i want to do FOR MY SELF is going to be easy, mostly because I haven't... Read more

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