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    IDLETYME   240,893
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Fair Judge

Thursday, August 13, 2015      17 comments

"Mr. Clark , I have reviewed this case very carefully" the divorce court judge said, "and I've decided to give your wife $775 a week". "That's very fair your honor" the husband said! "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks my... Read more

Lady Driver

Wednesday, August 05, 2015      22 comments

A police officer saw a lady driving and knitting at the same time, so after driving next to her for a while, he yelled, "Pull over!" "No!" she called back. "It's a pair of socks"!... Read more

His Mistake

Monday, July 27, 2015      23 comments

A husband and wife had a tiff. Wife called her Mom and said "He fought with me. I'm coming over to live with you." Mom said "No darling he needs to pay for his mistake. I'm coming to live with you!"... Read more

Bachelor Party

Monday, July 06, 2015      23 comments

Referring to Prince Williams bachelor party - "It's got to be weird stuffing money into strippers thongs when every bill has a picture of your Grandmother on it!"... Read more

Smart Hubby

Monday, June 29, 2015      22 comments

A woman walks into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. "Have you killed any?" she asked. "Yep", replies her husband. "Three male and two females". "How can you tell?" she asks. He replies, "Three were on a beer... Read more

Home Security "Southern Style"

Tuesday, June 23, 2015      23 comments

Go to the second hand store and buy used men's work boots size 14-16. Place them on your front porch along with a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine. Put four giant dog bowls next to the boots and magazines. Leave a note on your door that reads: B... Read more


Friday, June 19, 2015      17 comments

A smile is a sign of joy, a hug is a sign of love, a laugh is a sign of happiness, a friend like me - well - that's a sign of your good taste!... Read more

Near Death Experience

Monday, June 15, 2015      19 comments

A boss asked one of his employees, "Do you believe in life after death?" "Yes sir" replied his employee. "I thought you did" said the boss. "Yesterday after you left to go to your brothers funeral, he stopped by to see you"!... Read more

I've Been Missing Spark People

Wednesday, October 01, 2014      21 comments

My daughter, Jeni, lives in an apartment complex and the unit next to hers burned out. Several units had damage but thank goodness she didn't! My other daughter and I have spent the last two days packing and moving boxes to storage. Jeni, h... Read more

Safe Driving Award?

Thursday, November 21, 2013      28 comments

A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?" "No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Aw... Read more

Two Nuns and a Mini Dracula

Friday, October 25, 2013      31 comments

Two nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, are traveling through Europe in their car, sightseeing in Transylvania. As they are stopped at a traffic light, out of nowhere, a small vampire jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses ... Read more

One Blonde To Another

Thursday, September 12, 2013      38 comments

A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note. "I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do t... Read more

A Man Dining Alone

Sunday, July 28, 2013      38 comments

A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table..He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her. ****************... Read more

Baby's First Doctor Visit

Saturday, July 27, 2013      35 comments

This made me laugh out loud. It may be a little saucy for some. I hope it will give you a smile! A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor a... Read more

The Perfect Husband

Monday, June 24, 2013      43 comments

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Ar... Read more

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