"Mr. Clark , I have reviewed this case very carefully" the divorce court judge said, "and I've decided to give your wife $775 a week". "That's very fair your honor" the husband said! "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks my... Read more
A police officer saw a lady driving and knitting at the same time, so after driving next to her for a while, he yelled, "Pull over!" "No!" she called back. "It's a pair of socks"!... Read more
A husband and wife had a tiff. Wife called her Mom and said "He fought with me. I'm coming over to live with you." Mom said "No darling he needs to pay for his mistake. I'm coming to live with you!"... Read more
Referring to Prince Williams bachelor party - "It's got to be weird stuffing money into strippers thongs when every bill has a picture of your Grandmother on it!"... Read more
A woman walks into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. "Have you killed any?" she asked. "Yep", replies her husband. "Three male and two females". "How can you tell?" she asks. He replies, "Three were on a beer... Read more
Home Security "Southern Style"
Go to the second hand store and buy used men's work boots size 14-16. Place them on your front porch along with a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine. Put four giant dog bowls next to the boots and magazines. Leave a note on your door that reads: B... Read more
A smile is a sign of joy, a hug is a sign of love, a laugh is a sign of happiness, a friend like me - well - that's a sign of your good taste!... Read more
Near Death Experience
A boss asked one of his employees, "Do you believe in life after death?" "Yes sir" replied his employee. "I thought you did" said the boss. "Yesterday after you left to go to your brothers funeral, he stopped by to see you"!... Read more
I've Been Missing Spark People
My daughter, Jeni, lives in an apartment complex and the unit next to hers burned out. Several units had damage but thank goodness she didn't! My other daughter and I have spent the last two days packing and moving boxes to storage.
Jeni, h... Read more
Safe Driving Award?
A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?"
"No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Aw... Read more
Two Nuns and a Mini Dracula
Two nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, are traveling through Europe in their car, sightseeing in Transylvania. As they are stopped at a traffic light, out of nowhere, a small vampire jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses ... Read more
One Blonde To Another
A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note. "I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do t... Read more
A Man Dining Alone
A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table..He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.
****************... Read more
Baby's First Doctor Visit
This made me laugh out loud. It may be a little saucy for some.
I hope it will give you a smile!
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.
The doctor a... Read more
The Perfect Husband
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone
on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function
and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Ar... Read more
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