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MARYJOANNA
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MARYJOANNA's Blogs

LAUGHTER
Tuesday, June 28, 2016      9 comments

I bought one of those tapes to teach you Spanish in your sleep. During the night, the tape skipped. Now I can only stutter in Spanish. If you can understand English, press 1. If you do not understand English, press 2. ... Read more
CLEVER SAYINGS ON T-SHIRTS
Tuesday, June 14, 2016      10 comments

1. I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web. 2. Exercise? I thought you said EXTRA FRIES. 3. DON'T GROW UP--It's a trap. 4. So if a redhead goes crazy, Is it c... Read more
YOU GOTTA LAUGH
Thursday, June 09, 2016      11 comments

Two cows standing in a field: Cow 1: Are you worried about mad cow disease? Cow 2: Why would I? I'm a helicopter! Question: What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards? Answer: A receding hare l... Read more
SOMETHING GOOD CAME OUT OF AN ACCIDENT
Sunday, May 22, 2016      17 comments

When I pause to reflect on my journey to healing from a fall April 12, I can't help but think of my church friends, and people in our apartment complex who showered me with phone calls, cards and food. It was overwhelming! Not only am I thankfu... Read more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Saturday, May 14, 2016      6 comments

WORRY DOES NOT EMPTY TOMORROW OF ITS SORROW; IT EMPTIES TODAY OF ITS STRENGTH. Corrie Ten Boom... Read more
ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY
Tuesday, May 10, 2016      10 comments

One month ago I was operated on to repair a broken leg. I am so pleased with my progress. I am able to walk with my walker a bit and I went to church for the first time Sunday. I have an appointment on the 24th with my surgeon. Praise God!... Read more
BROKEN LEG
Monday, April 18, 2016      15 comments

I fell in the house on Tuesday and broke my right leg. In 2010 I tripped in the hospital and broke my right ankle so am keeping everything on the right side. Ha! I came home on Saturday and there is nothing like being in your home! I have hom... Read more
TOOTING MY HORN
Friday, April 01, 2016      28 comments

I have to give a shout-out to me. Today is my birthday and I am 79 years young! I don't feel my age nor do I look it. I am healthy with no diabetes or arthritis. This is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it!... Read more
POLICE
Tuesday, March 22, 2016      11 comments

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother s... Read more
ELDERLY
Tuesday, March 15, 2016      10 comments

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly, I used to take my 4 year old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelch... Read more
NUDITY
Friday, March 11, 2016      12 comments

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked,... Read more
LAUGHTER
Monday, March 07, 2016      10 comments

A defendant isn't happy with how things are going in court, so he gives the judge a hard time. Judge: "Where do you work?" Defendant: "Here and there." Judge: "What do you do for a living?" Defendant: "This and that." Jud... Read more
REFLECTION
Friday, March 04, 2016      9 comments

When you flee temptation don't leave a forwarding address!... Read more
THE PROPHET
Sunday, February 28, 2016      7 comments

A young woman stepped forward from the throng and asked, "O' great prophet, tell us how we might find love that is unconditional, unwavering and unending." The prophet did not answer right away. He looked off into the distance, gathering hi... Read more
YOUR MONTHLY PUN-ISHMENT
Wednesday, February 24, 2016      6 comments

A tiger was walking through the jungle one day and saw two men relaxing under a tree. One was reading a newspaper, and the other was working feverishly on a manual typewriter. The tiger leapt on the man with the newspaper... Read more

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