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    MARYJOANNA   185,758
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PERKS OF REACHING 60 OR BEING OVER 70 AND HEADING TOWARDS 80!

Friday, February 12, 2016      8 comments

Kidnappers are not very interested in you. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. Things you buy won't wear out. You can live without sex but not your glasses. You can't remember who sen... Read more

UNTITLED

Wednesday, February 10, 2016      6 comments

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.... Read more

KIDS; KETCHUP

Monday, February 08, 2016      9 comments

A woman was trying hard to get the tomato sauce out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4 year old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hittin... Read more

KIDS-DRESS-UP

Saturday, February 06, 2016      10 comments

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.' 'And why not, darling?' 'You know that it always gives you a headache... Read more

SHAME ON HER

Wednesday, February 03, 2016      11 comments

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor os the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain silence. ... Read more

KIDS

Monday, February 01, 2016      9 comments

OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.' ... Read more

SUBJECT: KIDS

Saturday, January 30, 2016      11 comments

BIBLE A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been presse... Read more

SCHOOL

Thursday, January 28, 2016      8 comments

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'... Read more

KIDS

Saturday, January 23, 2016      13 comments

NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5 year old shout from the back seat... Read more

DRIVING ETIQUETTE

Tuesday, January 19, 2016      10 comments

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight. 2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way. 3. Never tow an... Read more

WORDISMS

Saturday, January 16, 2016      6 comments

1. ACCORDIONATED-Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time. 2. DIMP-A person who insults you in a cheap department store by asking, "Do you work here?" 3. PETROPHOBIC-One who is embarrassed to undress in fro... Read more

REFLECTIONS

Thursday, January 14, 2016      10 comments

When you flee temptation don't leave a forwarding address.... Read more

YOU MIGHT BE A BLUENECK IF...

Tuesday, January 12, 2016      12 comments

Rednecks have cousins up north, Are northerners "bluenecks"? Two or more people aren't "y'all," you call them "you guys." You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores. You would never wear pink or an applique... Read more

REFLECTIONS

Saturday, January 09, 2016      7 comments

This is a great time to sit back and reflect on the memories you made this past year .What lessons have you learned? How did you grow? How do you plan to use that growth to develop yourself in 2016? ... Read more

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Tuesday, January 05, 2016      6 comments

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.... Read more


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