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    MARYJOANNA   136,721
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IDIOT SIGHTING

Monday, December 15, 2014      9 comments

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your luggage without your knowledge? To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' ... Read more

NO RESPECT

Friday, December 12, 2014      7 comments

In Memory of Rodney Dangerfield Read these in your best Rodney Dangerfield voice. A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home. My Mother had morning sickness after I wa... Read more

AHHHH!

Wednesday, December 10, 2014      7 comments

There once was a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define 'great', he aid, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read. Stuff that people will react to on a truly... Read more

SURPRISE OFSORTS

Saturday, December 06, 2014      11 comments

How interesting it is when we go along in our journey of weight loss and not notice things changing much at all. Yesterday I tried on a cute sweater-type Christmas top size L and I was swimming in it!! I was so surpri... Read more

THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR A REDNECK SAY

Friday, December 05, 2014      9 comments

1. When I retire I'm movin' North. 2. We're vegetarians. 3. We don't keep firearms in this house. 4. Oh, I just couldn't. She's only sixteen. 5. That car is too old and unsafe ... Read more

THE PROPHET

Monday, December 01, 2014      6 comments

A young woman stepped forward from the throng and asked, "O' great prophet, tell us how we might find love that is unconditional, unwavering and unending." The prophet did not answer right away. He looked off into the ... Read more

SUPER DEFINITIONS

Wednesday, November 26, 2014      8 comments

"The taxpayer: That's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take a civil service examination." "Government is like a baby, an alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and ... Read more

HEH?

Monday, November 24, 2014      13 comments

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.... Read more

OH KNOW HE DI'NT

Saturday, November 22, 2014      8 comments

Down in Lafourche Parish, Louisiana, Boudreaux got a job with BP helping to clean up the Gulf oil spill. He reports to work and is told to speak to a supervisor about his assign- ment. He finds a man and asks "What am I supposed to... Read more

UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS

Thursday, November 20, 2014      9 comments

To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.... Read more

SOMETHING TO PONDER

Tuesday, November 18, 2014      9 comments

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory... Read more

NEWS FLASH

Saturday, November 15, 2014      9 comments

Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in. Could only use it for half an hour, as I started to feel sick. It's great though. It provides me with everything I need KitKats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Potato Crisps, th... Read more

UNTITLED

Monday, November 10, 2014      8 comments

Following the tragic death of the Human Cannonball of the circus, a spokesman said "We'll struggle to get another man of his caliber."... Read more

????????????

Tuesday, November 04, 2014      13 comments

Honk if you love peace and quiet. ... Read more

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Thursday, October 30, 2014      10 comments

If you believe God loves you, has a plan for your life, and that His timing is always right, there is no need to envy anyone. Joyce Meyer... Read more


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