A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well.
The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when yo... Read more
My niece, pregnant with her second child, was certain she wanted an epidural for pain management during childbirth. Her doctor asked her at which stage of labor she wanted the epidural administered.
Her response: "Just meet me in the parki... Read more
Actual Accident Reports
Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.
The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I ... Read more
Leaning Slightly (A Little Corny)
I have this friend who always seemed to lean slightly to the left all the time. It used to bother me, so I suggested he see a doctor, and have his legs checked out.
For years, he refused... told me I was crazy.
But last week, he fina... Read more
AAADD-(Long, But Worth The Read, I Think)
Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs was... Read more
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Smithville wakes up early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives, their families, etc.
Suddenly, at the... Read more
The New Baby
With all the new fertility technology , a 66 year old woman was recently able to give birth to a baby. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit.
"May we see the new baby?" one asked.
"Not y... Read more
The new father ran out of the delivery room and announced to the rest of his family who were waiting for the news: "We had twins!"
The family was so excited they immediately asked, "Who do they look like?"
The father paused, smiled, ... Read more
Letter From School
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,Your $on... Read more
A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the religious one prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees in communion with his Lord, the atheist never even looked twice at a church.
However, the atheist's l... Read more
Wife Vs. Husband
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sa... Read more
One Sunday in a Midwest city a young child was acting up during the morning worship hour.
The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle.
Finally, the father picked the little fellow ... Read more
Mr. Schwartz was the oldest of 7 children, so he had to quit school and work to help support his younger brothers and sisters. He never learned to read, so when he married and started a checking account, he signed his checks simply "XX".
E... Read more
A CEO-type was in the hospital, being treated for a minor deal. For a week he'd made a complete nuisance of himself, irritating all the staff, shouting orders and demanding attention, complaining about the food, the bed, the temperature, the wea... Read more
The Moving Walls
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.
The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" Th... Read more
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