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Five men on the same stage all playing different tunes.
Played exclusively by people who woke up this morning.
Dozen different types of percussion all going at once.
People singing when they sh... Read more
Deep Fat Fried Butter on a Stick
"The new specialty at the Iowa fair this year is fried butter on a stick. Of course, if you're like me and you want like to eat healthy, get your stick of butter baked." -Jay Leno
... Read more
Shame on you!
My 7-year-old daughter came home from school one day, held up her middle finger, and asked me what it meant. I was so shocked that I could say only, "Shame on you," followed by, "If anyone does that to you, just say, "Shame on you" to that perso... Read more
A New York retail clerk was suffering from aching feet. "It's all those years of standing," his doctor declared. "You need a vacation. Go to Miami, soak your feet in the ocean and you'll feel better."
When the man got to Florida, he went in... Read more
Open Her Up!
A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw f... Read more
Riots in the UK
Did you hear Jay Leno say: "Big riots in the United Kingdom. You can tell it's England because they're rioting on the other side of the street."
Not a laughing matter...but just a small chuckle...... Read more
An Accident Report
I am writing in response to your request for “additional information.” In block number 30 of the accident report form, I put “poor planning” as the cause for my accident. You said in your last letter that I should explain more fully. I trust tha... Read more
Cletus is passing by Bubba's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Bubba doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old orange Kubota tractor.
Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off f... Read more
Joe, a college student, was taking a course in ornithology, the study of birds. The night before the biggest test of the semester, Joe spent all night studying. He had the textbook nearly memorized. He knew his class notes backward and forward. ... Read more
I'm Gonna Be Late Because...
- I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?
- I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet...
- I am stuck in ... Read more
"I resent your insinuendoes."
"If we don't make some changes, the status quo will remain the same."
"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world."
"I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congr... Read more
The Pillsbury Dough Boy died yesterday of a yeast infection and traumatic complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71. Dough Boy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children, John Dough, Jane Dough, and Dill Dough, plus they ... Read more
I know...that's an oxymoron.
vegetarian meatball... Read more
A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.
"Our research shows that out of a y... Read more
How to Get to Heaven
A Sunday school teacher asked the children in her class, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would I get into Heaven?"
"No!" the children all answered.
"If I cleaned the church every day... Read more