A woman walked into the elevator tossing her keys up in the air and catching them. After one too many tosses, she dropped the keys, and we watched as they disappeared into the crack between the open doors and the floor.
I felt terrible for... Read more
TWO DEATHS AT WORK...
Had two deaths at work this week. Bummer! First one was Dennis former FAther in law. A great guy. The second was at the end of the day Friday - 3;30 - long time resident, Dr Coffin. Apparently he had died in his sleep the night before. I c... Read more
What would you buy with $2?
His pediatrician asked six-year-old Johnny, who watched a good many TV, ads, just to make conversation. Johnny, if you found a couple of dollars and had to spend them, what would you buy?”
“A box of Tampax,” he replied without hesitation.
... Read more
You can't take it with you
Trying to disprove the saying "You can't take it with you," a stingy old lawyer, diagnosed with a terminal illness, finally figured out how to take at least some of his fortune with him when he died.
He instructed his wife to go to the ban... Read more
7 things a 7-year-old could convince congress are vegetables
I read an article called 7 things a 7-year-old could convince congress are vegetables. Congress has already declared that the tomato sauce on Pizza is a vegetable. So here’s the gist of the article:
CHOCOLATE: comes from a bean, so it mu... Read more
Thoughts On Aging
- The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.
- You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started.
- You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after fee... Read more
(Source: The Freedmen's Book; Image: A group of escaped slaves in Virginia in 1862, courtesy of the
August 7, 1865
To My Old Master, Colonel P.H. Anderson, Big Spring, Tennessee
Sir: I got your letter, and was glad to find that you had not forgotten Jourdon, and that you wanted me to come back and live with you ag... Read more
Best test paper blunders from the most clueless - and inventive - of students
* Classical Studies *
Question: Name one of the early Romans' greatest achievements.
Answer: Learning to speak Latin
* Biology *
Question: What is a fibula?
Answer: A little lie
* Classical Studies *
Question: What were the c... Read more
Of course she's a blonde...
My father and I belong to the religion of Sikhism. We both wear the traditional turban and often encounter strange comments and questions. Once, in a restaurant, a child stared with amazement at my father. She finally got the courage to ask, "Ar... Read more
There was an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery.
One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!"
Well, everyone liked him, so they c... Read more
If Only You Had Looked...
Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation.
"How'd you die?" the first man asks the second.
"I froze to death," says the second.
"That's awful," says the first man. "How does it feel to freeze to death?"
... Read more
Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days:
A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?"
The clerk asks, "Are you Polish?"
The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I ... Read more
Some Police Quotes
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"
"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid." ... Read more
I would have given him 100%
Q 1. In which battle did Napoleon die?*
his last battle
Q 2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?*
at the bottom of the page
Q 3. River Ravi flows in which state?*
Q 4.... Read more
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Get Your Own
One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. So they picked one scientist to go and tell Him that they were done with Him.
The scientist walked up to God and said, "God, we'v... Read more