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    SUNSHINE65   69,973
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Deep Thoughts About Pigs and Sheep

Thursday, March 01, 2012      3 comments

- Do you think sheep know when you're pulling the wool over their eyes? - Does the person who inventories sheep often fall asleep on the job? - If a pig is sold to the pawn shop is it then called a ham-hock? - If we make sweaters out of a... Read more

Dark Sucker

Thursday, March 01, 2012      1 comments

For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers. The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence ... Read more

Funny Ads

Wednesday, February 29, 2012      7 comments

These are advertisements that have appeared in papers across the country (or so we are led to believe) - Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in. - The hotel ... Read more

Funny Signs

Sunday, February 26, 2012      11 comments

On a Septic Tank Truck: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels ************************** At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place." ************************** On a Plumber's truck:... Read more

A Good Pun is Its Own Reword

Sunday, February 26, 2012      10 comments

- A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. - Dijon vu - the same mustard as before. - Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. - A hangover is the wrath of grapes. - Sea captains don't like crew cuts. - ... Read more

THE REALISM ACTOR

Saturday, February 25, 2012      2 comments

A man went into the pet shop, "I am playing Long John Silver in the local amateur dramatic societies version of Treasure Island and need a parrot to sit on my shoulder," he said. "I don't have any parrots at the moment, but you wouldn't wan... Read more

USEFUL WORK PHRASES

Saturday, February 25, 2012      4 comments

1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. 2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. 3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 4. An... Read more

Cook's Helper

Saturday, February 25, 2012      0 comments

If it's too small to read, click this link: www.arcamax.com/thefunni
es/pickles/ ... Read more

The Family Maid

Tuesday, February 21, 2012      5 comments

A husband and his wife advertised for a live-in maid to cook and do the housework. A likely-looking girl came in from the country, and they hired her. 

 She worked out fine, was a good cook, was polite, and kept the house neat.... Read more

Allee Oop!

Tuesday, February 21, 2012      6 comments

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, "All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, 'ALLLLEEE OOOP!' r... Read more

You Are What You Eat

Monday, February 20, 2012      5 comments

Two friends went out to dinner. They were reading through the menu when one friend remarked to the other that scientist say we are what we eat. The other friend replied, "I don't know if that's true, but let's err on the side of caut... Read more

Mixed metaphors

Sunday, February 19, 2012      2 comments

English professors love to catch the errors students make in their term papers, and they love nothing better than to catch mixed metaphors. The "friends and survivors" of Calvin College English department collected this list of mixed metaphors a... Read more

Mary Lou

Saturday, February 18, 2012      3 comments

Lisa came up behind her husband while he was drinking his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head. "Ow!" Larry exclaimed. "What was that for?" "I found a piece of paper in your pants with the name 'Mary Lou' written on... Read more

SHOTGUN

Saturday, February 18, 2012      2 comments

A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. "It's for my husband," she tells the clerk. "Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the clerk. "Are you kidding?" she says. "He doesn't even know that I'm going to shoot him... Read more

Substitute Organist

Friday, February 17, 2012      3 comments

The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist w... Read more


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