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    SUNSHINE65   78,060
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A Gift from the Sheriff

Sunday, April 15, 2012      5 comments

"Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?" "Yes. What can I do for you?" "I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith. He's hidin' marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hidin' it the... Read more

4 YEAR OLDS

Saturday, April 14, 2012      4 comments

Ever notice how  a 4 year old's voice is louder than 200 adult voices?   Several  years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit with crashing thunder and severe lightning.  As I came into my bedroom about 2a.m.,  I found my two ch... Read more

Shopping for Men

Saturday, April 14, 2012      4 comments

Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these rules and you should have no problems. Rule #1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns... Read more

Potatoes

Friday, April 13, 2012      7 comments

Every morning during our coffee break, my co-workers and I listened to the culinary disasters of a newlywed colleague. We then tried to share some helpful hints and recipes. One day she asked us for step-by-step instructions on cooking swe... Read more

Boss and respect

Sunday, April 08, 2012      5 comments

The boss was concerned that his employees weren’t giving him enough respect, so he tried an old fashioned method of persuasion: He brought in a sign that said “I’m the Boss” and taped it to his door. After lunch, he noticed someone had taped ano... Read more

Running Errands

Sunday, April 08, 2012      4 comments

Freddie was eighteen years old, friendly, and eager to do things right. Unfortunately, he wasn't especially bright. He had just started his first job, as a delivery boy and general "go-fer" at a furniture warehouse. His first task was to go out ... Read more

New time off policy

Saturday, April 07, 2012      3 comments

Notice to Employees (Includes Part Time Workers) SICKNESS We will no longer accept your doctors' statements as proof. We believe if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to work. LEAVE OF ABSENCE FOR SURGERY ... Read more

Head scratching signs

Saturday, April 07, 2012      4 comments

- Signs In a clothing store: "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks." - In the window of an Oregon general store: "Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?" - In a Pennsylvania cemetary: "Persons are... Read more

A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes...

Friday, April 06, 2012      3 comments

to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left." "Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. ... Read more

Managers' Quotes

Friday, April 06, 2012      6 comments

Recently, a magazine ran a contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life managers. Here are some of the submissions: 

- As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using ind... Read more

Air Bashing

Wednesday, April 04, 2012      4 comments

While taxiing at London Gatwick, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where ... Read more

Signs You've had too much of the 21st Century.

Wednesday, April 04, 2012      5 comments

1. You try to enter your password on the microwave. 

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 

 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 4. 

4. You e-mail your... Read more

PRICELESS TREASURES

Wednesday, April 04, 2012      1 comments

An anthropologist shows off his priceless trove of treasure to his saintly grandmother. "What's that?" she asks, pointing to an oddly shaped item. "Uh..." stammers the anthropologist, "it's a phallic symbol." "Oh," says his grandmothe... Read more

In Uniform

Tuesday, April 03, 2012      5 comments

My husband wore his Army uniform with pride. One day, coming home from the base and dressed in olive drab fatigues, he stopped off at the grocery store to pick up a few things. While in line at the check out counter, he noticed a little bo... Read more

There will be no nursing home in my future........

Tuesday, April 03, 2012      5 comments

When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day.... Read more


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