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    SUNSHINE65   76,304
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Famous Movie Quotes (The First Drafts)

Sunday, May 06, 2012      2 comments

The Godfather: "I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse. Well, he can refuse it, of course. I just know that if someone were to make me an offer like this, I'd jump all over it. But who am I to impose my feelings on someone else?" The T... Read more

Free Drinks

Sunday, May 06, 2012      1 comments

The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, "What'll you have?" The guy answers, "A scotch, please." The bartender hands him the drink, and says "That'll be five dollars," to which the guy replies, "What are you talking about? I don't owe you... Read more

Speeding Up

Sunday, May 06, 2012      0 comments

The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast. Also: Bir... Read more

WWJD

Thursday, May 03, 2012      5 comments

Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?" But the initials really have been changed to stand for "What would Jesus drive?" One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because the Bible says, "God drove Adam an... Read more

A Lesson in English

Thursday, May 03, 2012      5 comments

Harry is getting along in years and finds that he is unable to perform in bed. He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. So the doctor refers him to an American Indian medicine man. The medicine man s... Read more

New Drugs on the Market

Wednesday, May 02, 2012      7 comments

St. Mom's Wort - Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours. 

 Empty Nestrogen - Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how a... Read more

Degrees of "Blondness"

Wednesday, May 02, 2012      4 comments

FIRST DEGREE
: Married couple were asleep when the phone rang 
at 2 in the morning.The very blonde wife picked up the phone, 
listened a moment and said 'How should I know; that's 200 miles 
from here!' and hung up. ... Read more

Eggplants

Wednesday, May 02, 2012      3 comments

A grocer put up a sign that read "Eggplants, 25 each -- three for a dollar." All day long, customers came in exclaiming: "Don't be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!" Meekly the grocer capitulated and packaged four eggplants... Read more

Corvette

Monday, April 30, 2012      5 comments

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership.... Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew do... Read more

Bubba and the Gator

Sunday, April 29, 2012      12 comments

A filthy rich man in Florida decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Bubba, the only redneck in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansio... Read more

Army Cadet

Sunday, April 29, 2012      6 comments

A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave." The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge...no sir! I promised myself that... Read more

The old flat tire excuse...great idea!

Thursday, April 26, 2012      6 comments

Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire. Much to their relief she smiled and said: "Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from... Read more

Surprise!

Thursday, April 26, 2012      2 comments

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. ... Read more

One-Up-Man-Ship

Thursday, April 26, 2012      1 comments

This man in a Ford Granada pulls up next to a guy in a Rolls Royce at a stop sign. Their windows are open and he yells at the guy in the Rolls: "Hey, you got a telephone in there?" The guy in the Rolls says, "Yes, of course I do." "I got one too... Read more

TOP 10 SIGNS YOU DRANK TOO MUCH THIS WEEKEND

Thursday, April 26, 2012      2 comments

1. You spent Sunday night in jail for cow-tipping -- with your Oldsmobile. 2. Thanks to you, Jack Daniels stock is up 15 since Friday. 3. For the money you spent on Thunderbird, you could've bought the car. 4. You're now the proud invent... Read more


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