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SUNSHINE65's Blogs

New Dad
Monday, June 04, 2012      2 comments

One day, shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to do some errands, so the proud father stayed home to watch his wonderful new son. Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did everything... Read more
Newly Issued Alcohol Warnings
Sunday, June 03, 2012      7 comments

The American Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of drinking a pint or two of any alcoholic beverage. 1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause yo... Read more
Helping an Overweight Blonde
Sunday, June 03, 2012      6 comments

An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds. The blonde followed the doctor's advice, and, after thi... Read more
Ashes to ashes
Saturday, June 02, 2012      6 comments

A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make them a few drinks, and as he's standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel. He picks... Read more
Mixed-up Metaphors
Friday, June 01, 2012      9 comments

English professors love to catch the errors students make in their term papers, and they love nothing better than to catch mixed metaphors. The "friends and survivors" of Calvin College English department collected this list of mixed metaphors a... Read more
Just checking
Wednesday, May 30, 2012      3 comments

One snowy evening my brother, a regional police officer, stopped a car at a roadside check for drunk drivers. "Good evening, ma'am," he greeted the lady. "How are you this evening?" "Fine, thank you," she replied. My brother continue... Read more
Beefing up my efforts at fitness with affirmations..
Monday, May 28, 2012      7 comments

1. I phrase my affirmations in the here and now: [I am craving healthy nutritious food], so my subconscious knows this is what I want right now. 2. I use the first person, and add my name: [I, Sunshine65, love the way my body feels when I do ... Read more
Man Changes Places with Wife to Show Her What Work is! Ha!
Monday, May 28, 2012      7 comments

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: 'Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to kn... Read more
Refrigerator Goals
Monday, May 28, 2012      9 comments

When I returned home from college for a break, I noticed a paper posted on the refrigerator. It listed some goals my dad had set for himself: Help wife more; lose weight; be more productive at work. I promptly added: "Send Michelle money e... Read more
Sunday, May 27, 2012      6 comments

Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors." Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO." If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasion... Read more
A couple in the park...
Sunday, May 27, 2012      4 comments

A couple walking in the park noticed a young man and woman sitting on a bench, passionately kissing. "Why don't you do that?" said the wife. "Honey," replied her husband, "I don't even know that woman!"... Read more
Inner Peace
Saturday, May 26, 2012      4 comments

I'm passing this on because it worked for me today. A Dr. on TV said to have inner peace we should always finish things we start & we all could use more calm in our lives. I looked around my house to find things I'd started & hadn't finished,... Read more
Does this sign need updating???
Thursday, May 24, 2012      5 comments

... Read more
Way too Drunk...
Thursday, May 24, 2012      11 comments

A man got really drunk one night in his local pub. The barman refused to serve him any more alcohol and told him he should be heading home. The man thought this was a good idea so he stood up to leave but fell over straight away. He tried to sta... Read more
Car Keys
Wednesday, May 23, 2012      9 comments

Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel; I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realized I must have le... Read more

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