A Child's Book Report on the Entire Bible
In the beginning, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one,’ but I think he must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did. Then God made the world.
He... Read more
Q: You’re a bus driver. At the first stop 4 people get on. At the second stop 8 people on, at the third stop 2 people get off and, at the forth stop everyone got off. The question is what color are the bus driver's eyes?
A: _____________... Read more
BETTER THAN GUN CONTROL...
Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost $5,000. Because if a bullet cost $5,000, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders. That'd be it. Every time someone gets shot, people will be like, ''Darn, h... Read more
Some thoughts...or not!
Getting back together with an old boyfriend is pathetic. It's like having a garage sale and buying your own stuff back.
I wouldn't want to fly Virgin. Who'd want to fly an airline that doesn't go all the way?
My girl... Read more
A carpenter was giving evidence about an accident he had witnessed. The lawyer for the defendant was trying to discredit him and asked him how far away he was from the accident.
The carpenter replied, "Twenty-seven feet, six and one-half i... Read more
On his first day at a new school, a headmaster was making rounds when he heard a terrible commotion from one of the classrooms. Marching in, he spotted one boy, taller than the others, who seemed to be making most of the noise. So he seized the ... Read more
Today at the Psychiatric Hospital
A guy is passing a Mental Hospital surrounded by a wall and he hears the chanting inside, Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen! Curious to see what‚s going on he finds a small hole in the wall, so he bends and peeks inside. Someone inside pokes him hard... Read more
At the funeral...
A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge Heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor... Read more
Types of Undergarments
A man walked into the ladies' department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."
"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.
"Type?" inquired the man. "There is more than ... Read more
Garden of Eden
After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Abel.
As they passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden, one of the boys asked, "Father, what's that?"
Adam replied, "Boys, that's where your mother ate us out... Read more
The Blonde and the Ventriloquist
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on he... Read more
Lawn mowing job
One day, shortly after joining the PGA tour in 1965, Lee Trevino, a professional golfer and married man, was at his home in Dallas,Texas mowing his front lawn, as he always did. A lady driving by in a big, shiny Cadillac stopped in front of his... Read more
Mystic and Logic
An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and a mystic were asked to name the greatest invention of all time.
The engineer chose fire, which gave humanity power over matter.
The physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the pow... Read more
This guy was pulled over for running a stop sign. When the cop checked the man's driver's license, he said, "You're wearing glasses on your ID and you're not now. I'm going to have to give you a ticket."
The guy said, "Officer, I have conta... Read more
Excuse for Speeding
This Middle aged man was going through his mid-life crisis so he went out and bought him a new bright red BMW. So he decided to take his new BMW on a test drive down the interstate one day.
He got up to about 85 mph and all of a sudden he ... Read more