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    SUNSHINE65   70,309
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BUNGEE JUMPING

Sunday, August 12, 2012      5 comments

The two inventors of the bungee rope went to Spain to test their invention. They built a 50-foot tower and, once completed, one of the guys stood on the edge of the platform and dove into the air with the rope tied to his feet. The other guy, st... Read more

BEST SIGNS

Sunday, August 12, 2012      6 comments

In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait." In a nonsmoking area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." On a maternity room door, "Push, Push, Push." On a fron... Read more

Where did the expression ''Let them eat cake'' originate?

Sunday, August 12, 2012      8 comments

Answer: Marie Antoinette is reported to have said 'Qu'ils mangent de la brioche'. When French bakers ran out of bread, they were obliged to sell brioche to the needy at the same price as bread. So that when Marie Antoinette was allege... Read more

Great Come-backs by some of history's most famous people

Saturday, August 11, 2012      10 comments

1. Thomas Reed vs Henry Clay Clay: I would rather be right than be president. Reed: The gentleman need not trouble himself, he'll never be either. 2. Winston Churchill vs Lady Astor Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put ... Read more

Camping Tips

Friday, August 10, 2012      12 comments

Q. What equipment will I need to go camping? A. You need a tent. Tent sizes are measured in units of men, as in "a three-man tent"; this tells you how many men are required to erect the tent if they are all professional tent engineers. Even... Read more

OXYMORONS

Thursday, August 09, 2012      14 comments

- State worker - Legally drunk - Exact estimate - Act naturally - Found missing - Resident alien - Genuine imitation - Airline Food - Good grief - Government organization - Sanitary landfill - Alone together - Small crowd... Read more

What was the baker thinking?

Monday, August 06, 2012      9 comments

When my coworker Donsa was promoted, we decided to celebrate. Her boss called the baker and ordered a cake. "Two questions," said the baker. "Is Donsa a man or a woman? And what do you want the cake to say?" "The cake should read 'Cong... Read more

Eating Chocolate

Monday, August 06, 2012      10 comments

Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable. The problem: How to get 2 pounds... Read more

Wise Words from Wise Women

Sunday, August 05, 2012      7 comments

I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. - Gilda Radner Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an assistant professor. It i... Read more

EVER WONDER

Sunday, August 05, 2012      10 comments

Oldie but goodie... Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why ... Read more

Homeless

Saturday, August 04, 2012      11 comments

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Conditions Improve in Hell

Saturday, August 04, 2012      9 comments

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfie... Read more

Deep Thoughts About Pigs and Sheep

Saturday, August 04, 2012      3 comments

Do you think sheep know when you're pulling the wool over their eyes? Does the person who inventories sheep often fall asleep on the job? If a pig is sold to the pawn shop is it then called a ham-hock? If we make sweaters out o... Read more

Unscheduled Outage

Saturday, August 04, 2012      2 comments

It's thunderstorm season and when the power goes out at one branch office, the uninterruptible power supplies kick in, everything gracefully shuts down, and the technician waits for power to return. And waits. And waits. "Late evening sees... Read more

LOCAL CHURCH SUED OVER LIGHTNING STRIKE!

Saturday, August 04, 2012      12 comments

TEXAS BEER JOINT SUES LOCAL CHURCH OVER LIGHTNING STRIKE! A bar called Drummond's (in Mt Vernon, Texas) began construction on an expansion of their building, hoping to "grow" their business. In response, the local Southern Baptist Churc... Read more


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