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The Problem With Fast Food
The big problem with "fast" food is that it slows down when it hits your stomach. And it just parks there--and lets the fat have time to get off and apply for citizenship.
... Read more
A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, "All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, "ALLLLEEE OOOP!" ... Read more
A woman visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and gloomy room, gazing at the Tarot cards laid out before her, the Tarot reader delivered the bad news: "There is no easy way to say this so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a ... Read more
In-flight safety lecture...
All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture", and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.
Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
1. On a Continental Flight w... Read more
1) Itís better to be crazy & know it than being sane & doubt it.
2) Iím lost. I've gone out to find me. If I come back before I return, please ask me to wait.
3) I live in my own little world!!! But that's okay, cause they know me ther... Read more
Do Not Honk at Old People
A lady was videotaping her son riding a skate board when her attention switched to an old woman trying to cross the street. You can hear the lady who is doing the taping giggling as she records the event. The video is a quick one... but you'll ... Read more
World's Thinnest Books
America's Most Popular Lawyers
Dr. Kevorkian's Collection of Motivational Speeches
How to Get to The Super Bowl - by Dan Marino
Things I Can't Afford - by Bill Gates
M ... Read more
What Do I Look Like?
There was a young couple living in an old run down house. One day the man gets home from work and his wife says, "Honey, look at the walls. They haven't been painted as long as we have lived here. It's peeling and cracking; couldn't you please j... Read more
My friend, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was escorting the suspect to the office in the front of the store (near the cash registers), when the shoplifter broke from his grip and tried to run.
After a sc... Read more
Top Ten Things Only Women Understand
10. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes.
9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off white.
8. Crying can be fun.
7. Fat clothes.
6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.
... Read more
Child's Perspective on Retirement
A teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their vacation. One child wrote the following:
"We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live here in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retar... Read more
The Bible According to Kids
The following statements about the Bible were written by children and have not been retouched or corrected (i.e., bad spelling has been left in.)
- In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, God got tired of creating the world, so he took ... Read more
An Antartian decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady rhythmic pace, but the Antartian be... Read more
Been kind of slow about blogging....sick for a week...bummer. But I came upon this a few minutes ago:
"A new poll claims that 58 percent of Americans believe Barack Obama would beat Mitt Romney in a fistfight. I didn't realize that was ... Read more
Gain weight in the shower?
Read this blog on a maintainer's [NELLJONES] page:
"I was telling my son, the Registered Dietician, about how much my weight bounces every day. I'm at maintenance so not trying to lose, yet my weight just pops around. He told me to weigh my... Read more