An anthropologist shows off his priceless trove of treasure to his saintly grandmother. "What's that?" she asks, pointing to an oddly shaped item.
"Uh..." stammers the anthropologist, "it's a phallic symbol."
"Oh," says his grandmothe... Read more
Church feuds are not uncommon, especially among cliques in the congregation. But when the pastor and choir director get into it, stand aside.
One week our preacher preached on commitment, and how we should dedicate ourselves to service. Th... Read more
Caesar Salad Now Legal!
WASHINGTON, DC -- California decriminalized the sale of Caesar salad this week -- and it's not a moment too soon, the Libertarian Party said today.
"When you outlaw Caesar salad, only outlaws will eat Caesar salad," noted the party's Direc... Read more
Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then they are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible. H... Read more
Not so Blonde...
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and ... Read more
The Problem With Fast Food
The big problem with "fast" food is that it slows down when it hits your stomach. And it just parks there--and lets the fat have time to get off and apply for citizenship.
... Read more
A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, "All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, "ALLLLEEE OOOP!" ... Read more
A woman visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and gloomy room, gazing at the Tarot cards laid out before her, the Tarot reader delivered the bad news: "There is no easy way to say this so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a ... Read more
In-flight safety lecture...
All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture", and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.
Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
1. On a Continental Flight w... Read more
1) It’s better to be crazy & know it than being sane & doubt it.
2) I’m lost. I've gone out to find me. If I come back before I return, please ask me to wait.
3) I live in my own little world!!! But that's okay, cause they know me ther... Read more
Do Not Honk at Old People
A lady was videotaping her son riding a skate board when her attention switched to an old woman trying to cross the street. You can hear the lady who is doing the taping giggling as she records the event. The video is a quick one... but you'll ... Read more
World's Thinnest Books
America's Most Popular Lawyers
Dr. Kevorkian's Collection of Motivational Speeches
How to Get to The Super Bowl - by Dan Marino
Things I Can't Afford - by Bill Gates
M ... Read more
What Do I Look Like?
There was a young couple living in an old run down house. One day the man gets home from work and his wife says, "Honey, look at the walls. They haven't been painted as long as we have lived here. It's peeling and cracking; couldn't you please j... Read more
My friend, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was escorting the suspect to the office in the front of the store (near the cash registers), when the shoplifter broke from his grip and tried to run.
After a sc... Read more
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Top Ten Things Only Women Understand
10. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes.
9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off white.
8. Crying can be fun.
7. Fat clothes.
6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.
... Read more