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SUNSHINE65's Blogs

Secret Switch
Tuesday, February 01, 2011      4 comments

After noticing how trim my husband had become, a friend asked me how I had persuaded him to diet. It was then I shared my dark secret: "I put our teenage son's shorts in his underwear drawer." ... Read more
Something to Prove
Monday, January 31, 2011      3 comments

Although I was only a few pounds overweight, my wife was harping on me to diet. One evening we took a brisk walk downtown, and I surprised her by jumping over a parking meter, leapfrog style. Pleased with myself, I said, "How many fat men do ... Read more
Subtle Hint
Thursday, January 27, 2011      6 comments

Although I knew I had put on a few pounds, I didn't consider myself overweight until the day I decided to clean my refrigerator. I sat on a chair in front of the appliance and reached in to wipe the back wall. While I was in this position,... Read more
Bland Diet Food
Wednesday, January 26, 2011      3 comments

My sisters and I have weight problems and are always sharing diet tips. One day my oldest sister was showing us a low-fat cookbook and pointed out a chicken dish she had tried the night before. Reading the ingredients, I commented, "It looks lik... Read more
Weight Loss Buddies
Monday, January 24, 2011      5 comments

My friend Kimberly announced that she had started a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently. "Good!" I exclaimed. "I'm ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. When I feel the urge to drive out an... Read more
No More Meat!
Sunday, January 23, 2011      6 comments

The teacher in our Bible class asked a woman to read from the Book of Numbers about the Israelites wandering in the desert. "The Lord heard you when you wailed, 'If only we had meat to eat!' " she began. "Now the Lord will give you meat. You wil... Read more
Saturday, January 22, 2011      4 comments ... Read more
Actual excerpts from classified sections:
Friday, January 21, 2011      5 comments

Illiterate? Write today for free help. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again. Dog for sale: It eats anything and is fond of children. Stock up and save. Limit: one. Now is your ch... Read more
How to find time for exercising
Wednesday, January 19, 2011      5 comments

Skip house cleaning altogether... -- Windows: Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 15 and leave it alone. -- Cobwebs: Artfully drape... Read more
Installing a husband
Tuesday, January 18, 2011      7 comments

Dear Tech Support , Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In... Read more
Tuesday, January 18, 2011      7 comments

Some people just can't think on their feet..... Name something a blind person might use: a sword Name a song with moon in the title: blue suede moon Name a bird with a long neck: a penguin Name an occupation where you need... Read more
Sunday School students tell about the Bible:
Monday, January 17, 2011      3 comments

-- St. John, the Blacksmith, dumped water on his head. -- Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, "Man doth not live by sweat alone." -- It was a miracle when Jes... Read more
Rejected Greeting Cards
Friday, January 14, 2011      7 comments

You totaled your car And can't remember why. Could it have been. That whole case of Bud Dry? Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your Birthday So we're having you put to sleep. You are such a good friend T... Read more
Dear Abby!
Thursday, January 13, 2011      3 comments

Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out? Dear Abby, My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy. Dear Abby, I was ma... Read more
New Definitions
Thursday, January 13, 2011      2 comments

abdicate (v), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. balderdash (n), a rapidly receding hairline. carcinoma (n), a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog. coffee (n), a person who is coughed upon. esplanade (v),... Read more

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