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    SUNSHINE65   65,376
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Actual excerpts from classified sections:

Friday, January 21, 2011      5 comments

Illiterate? Write today for free help. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again. Dog for sale: It eats anything and is fond of children. Stock up and save. Limit: one. Now is your ch... Read more

How to find time for exercising

Wednesday, January 19, 2011      5 comments

Skip house cleaning altogether... -- Windows: Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 15 and leave it alone. -- Cobwebs: Artfully drape... Read more

Installing a husband

Tuesday, January 18, 2011      7 comments

Dear Tech Support , Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In... Read more

ACTUAL ANSWERS FROM THE FAMILY FEUD

Tuesday, January 18, 2011      7 comments

Some people just can't think on their feet..... Name something a blind person might use: a sword Name a song with moon in the title: blue suede moon Name a bird with a long neck: a penguin Name an occupation where you need... Read more

Sunday School students tell about the Bible:

Monday, January 17, 2011      3 comments

-- St. John, the Blacksmith, dumped water on his head. -- Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, "Man doth not live by sweat alone." -- It was a miracle when Jes... Read more

Rejected Greeting Cards

Friday, January 14, 2011      7 comments

You totaled your car And can't remember why. Could it have been. That whole case of Bud Dry? Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your Birthday So we're having you put to sleep. You are such a good friend T... Read more

Dear Abby!

Thursday, January 13, 2011      3 comments

Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out? Dear Abby, My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy. Dear Abby, I was ma... Read more

New Definitions

Thursday, January 13, 2011      2 comments

abdicate (v), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. balderdash (n), a rapidly receding hairline. carcinoma (n), a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog. coffee (n), a person who is coughed upon. esplanade (v),... Read more

The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

Monday, January 10, 2011      9 comments

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself,but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back. When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few ses... Read more

Senior Texting Code

Sunday, January 02, 2011      13 comments

Since more and more Seniors are texting and tweeting there appears to be a need for a STC. If you qualify for Senior Discounts this is the code for you. ATD: At The Doctor's BFF: Best Friend Farted BTW: Bring The Wheelchair BYO... Read more

New Years Resolutions You Can Keep -----------

Saturday, January 01, 2011      4 comments

Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can actually accomplish? Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point: Gain weight. At least 30 pounds. ... Read more

Angels explained by children

Thursday, December 30, 2010      11 comments

I only know the names of two angels, Hark and Harold. -Gregory, age 5 Everybody's got it all wrong. Angels don't wear halos anymore. I forget why, but scientists are working on it. -Olive, age 9 It's not easy to become an ange... Read more

Roasted Vegetables

Saturday, December 25, 2010      11 comments

I made roasted vegetables for the first time today! Cut up veggies in 1" pieces: zucchini, green bell pepper, mushrooms, red onion, and broccoli, cauliflower and baby carrots from a bag. Tossed with ground garlic, 2 Tbs evoo, and a couple ... Read more

GIFT-WRAPPING TIPS FOR MEN

Thursday, December 23, 2010      5 comments

* Whenever possible, buy gifts that are already wrapped. If, when the recipient opens the gift, neither one of you recognizes it, you can claim that it's myrrh. * The editors of Woman's Day magazine recently ran an item on how to make y... Read more

What Movies Have Taught Us

Wednesday, December 22, 2010      2 comments

1) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices, which have large red read-outs to tell you exactly when it will go off. 2) Should you need to pass yourself off as a German officer it will not be necessary to speak the language, a c... Read more


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