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    SUNSHINE65   65,256
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late nite funnies - 9/9

Monday, September 09, 2013      8 comments

Republican leaders have agreed to support President Obama's plan to attack Syria. See, that’s what I love about our country. The only time Republicans and Democrats can agree on something is when it’s time to bomb somebody. -Jay Leno Tim Ro... Read more

Dear Dr. Laura:

Sunday, September 08, 2013      12 comments

In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura,... Read more

At the lawyer's office...

Sunday, September 08, 2013      8 comments

A farmer walks into a lawyer's office and says: "I'd like to get one of them-thar day-vorce-ees." "Yes sir, I believe I can help you" replied the lawyer. "Do you have any grounds?" "Oh shore do!", exclaimed the farmer, "Got me bout a... Read more

Letter from Maw

Saturday, September 07, 2013      9 comments

Dear Son, Your Pa has a new job. The first in 48 years. We are a little better, off now, getting $17.96 every Thursday. So we up and thought we'd do a little fixin‚ up. We sent to Rosemont and Seasbuck for one of them there bathrooms you he... Read more

FUNNIES 9/5

Friday, September 06, 2013      7 comments

President Obama is trying to get congressional approval before we attack Syria. And if that works, there’s talk we might even consider bringing back the rest of the Constitution. -Jay Leno Syria's President Assad referred to President Obama... Read more

How to Stay Young

Friday, September 06, 2013      6 comments

1. Try everything twice. On one woman's tombstone she said she wanted this epitaph: "Tried everything twice. Loved it both times!" 2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. (Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouch... Read more

Late Night 9/4

Thursday, September 05, 2013      6 comments

Ben Affleck is the new Batman. And Miley Cyrus is apparently the new Lindsay Lohan. -Jay Leno People are still talking about that over-the-top Miley Cyrus performance at the VMAs last Sunday. Why couldn’t Kanye West interrupt that? -Jay Len... Read more

The Man's Rules

Wednesday, September 04, 2013      6 comments

So it's about time we laid down some rules. These are our rules! Please note, these are all numbered "1" on purpose! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need i... Read more

WHAT AISLE IS THE POLISH SAUSAGE IN?

Monday, September 02, 2013      9 comments

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days. A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?" The clerk asks, "Are you Polish?" The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask... Read more

WHY SENIORS STILL NEED NEWSPAPERS

Sunday, September 01, 2013      6 comments

I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. "This is the 21st century," she said. "We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad." I can tell you this…..that fly never knew what hit him.... Read more

Never Lie to Your Mother

Sunday, September 01, 2013      5 comments

A Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how pretty his roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had on... Read more

funnneees

Friday, August 30, 2013      5 comments

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over. -Jon Stewart (classic quote) If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability a... Read more

Toying With the Telemarketer

Wednesday, August 28, 2013      11 comments

I was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when the phone rang. ME: Hello. AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T. ME: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T … ME: This is AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T … ME: Is th... Read more

Being Green

Tuesday, August 27, 2013      10 comments

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren’t good for the environment. The woman apologized and explained, “We didn’t have this green thi... Read more

Late Night...

Monday, August 26, 2013      2 comments

So former President George W. Bush had to go into the hospital, had a little heart surgery and he’s OK, but he blames it all on the fatty foods served by White House butler Forest Whitaker. -David Letterman Doctors told him to avoid any hea... Read more


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