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    SUNSHINE65   87,262
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At the lawyer's office...

Sunday, September 08, 2013      8 comments

A farmer walks into a lawyer's office and says: "I'd like to get one of them-thar day-vorce-ees." "Yes sir, I believe I can help you" replied the lawyer. "Do you have any grounds?" "Oh shore do!", exclaimed the farmer, "Got me bout a... Read more

Letter from Maw

Saturday, September 07, 2013      9 comments

Dear Son, Your Pa has a new job. The first in 48 years. We are a little better, off now, getting $17.96 every Thursday. So we up and thought we'd do a little fixin‚ up. We sent to Rosemont and Seasbuck for one of them there bathrooms you he... Read more


Friday, September 06, 2013      7 comments

President Obama is trying to get congressional approval before we attack Syria. And if that works, there’s talk we might even consider bringing back the rest of the Constitution. -Jay Leno Syria's President Assad referred to President Obama... Read more

How to Stay Young

Friday, September 06, 2013      6 comments

1. Try everything twice. On one woman's tombstone she said she wanted this epitaph: "Tried everything twice. Loved it both times!" 2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. (Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouch... Read more

Late Night 9/4

Thursday, September 05, 2013      6 comments

Ben Affleck is the new Batman. And Miley Cyrus is apparently the new Lindsay Lohan. -Jay Leno People are still talking about that over-the-top Miley Cyrus performance at the VMAs last Sunday. Why couldn’t Kanye West interrupt that? -Jay Len... Read more

The Man's Rules

Wednesday, September 04, 2013      6 comments

So it's about time we laid down some rules. These are our rules! Please note, these are all numbered "1" on purpose! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need i... Read more


Monday, September 02, 2013      9 comments

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days. A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?" The clerk asks, "Are you Polish?" The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask... Read more


Sunday, September 01, 2013      6 comments

I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. "This is the 21st century," she said. "We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad." I can tell you this…..that fly never knew what hit him.... Read more

Never Lie to Your Mother

Sunday, September 01, 2013      5 comments

A Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how pretty his roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had on... Read more


Friday, August 30, 2013      5 comments

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over. -Jon Stewart (classic quote) If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability a... Read more

Toying With the Telemarketer

Wednesday, August 28, 2013      11 comments

I was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when the phone rang. ME: Hello. AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T. ME: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T … ME: This is AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T … ME: Is th... Read more

Being Green

Tuesday, August 27, 2013      10 comments

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren’t good for the environment. The woman apologized and explained, “We didn’t have this green thi... Read more

Late Night...

Monday, August 26, 2013      2 comments

So former President George W. Bush had to go into the hospital, had a little heart surgery and he’s OK, but he blames it all on the fatty foods served by White House butler Forest Whitaker. -David Letterman Doctors told him to avoid any hea... Read more

How to Stop Mummy Sleeping Through the Night

Monday, August 26, 2013      7 comments

OK, here's my situation. My Mummy has had me for almost 7 months. The first few months were great. I cried, she picked me up and fed me, anytime, day or night. Then something happened. Over the last few weeks, she has been trying to STTN (... Read more

Pain free labor...

Sunday, August 25, 2013      4 comments

A married couple rushed to the hospital because the woman was in labor. The doctor asked the couple, "I have invented a new machine that you might want to try, it takes some of the labor pains away from the mother and gives it to the father." S... Read more

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