"I reckon I'll have me a half-caf double latte with a twist. IN A DIRTY MUG!"
"Gentlemen, rather than get caught up in mindless reaction, let's draw upon our feminine selves for a more intuitive solution."
"Can we postpone this duel ... Read more
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosnét mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed i... Read more
1. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
2. All men hate to hear, "We need to talk about our relation- ship." These seven words strike fear in the heart of even retired General Schwartzkop... Read more
- Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places.
- Instead of an air bag, there is a whoopee cushion taped to your steering wheel.
- You lose the stoplight challenge to a 14 year old on a moped.
- 15 minute Jiffy Lub... Read more
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so pop... Read more
Cocktail lounge, Norway:
"LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR."
Doctors office, Rome:
"SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
In a Nairobi restaurant:
"CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE TH... Read more
I just had to laugh when I read "The YOU Docs" for today (Drs Mehmet Oz and Mike Roizen)...where it says about the one-armed push up "good luck with that!". You can get their daily article by going to:
... Read more
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the co... Read more
If It Really Requires "Serious Cuts" To Raise The Debt Ceiling, Let's Cut Tax Cuts For Millionaires
www.care2.com/causes/pol itics/blog/if-it-really-re quires-serious-cuts-to-rai se-the-debt-ceiling-lets-c ut-tax-c... Read more
1. Studies show that laughter reduces depression in elderly patients...
2. It also improves sleep quality and reduces insomnia...
3. As a pain reliever, laughter can keep pains away for up to 45 minutes...
4. Regular laughter can improve b... Read more
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Oregon.
If you've worn shorts, sandals and a parka at the same time, you live in Oregon.
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation wit... Read more