SURVIVOR61
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SURVIVOR61's Blogs

"Puns"
Monday, January 16, 2017      5 comments

"Puns" A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. When a clock is hungry, it goes ... Read more
"I Was Driving Home One Night!"
Thursday, January 12, 2017      11 comments

"I Was Driving Home One Night!" I was driving one night, when all of a sudden there was a pine tree right in front of me so I swerved to miss it only to have another tree pop up so I swerved to miss that one, split second later up popped an... Read more
"New Kindergarten Rules For Little Johnny!"
Tuesday, January 10, 2017      6 comments

"New Kindergarten Rules For Little Johnny!" A group of previous kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk! "You need to us... Read more
"So Glad I Have Carmex Chapstick!"
Monday, January 09, 2017      13 comments

"So Glad I Have Carmex Chapstick!" An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail. The cow... Read more
"Jet Fuel Alcoholics"
Sunday, January 08, 2017      8 comments

"Jet Fuel Alcoholics" Two airplane mechanics named Bob and Tim work at Atlanta airport. Atlanta gets fogged in one night and nothing can take off or land so Bob and Tim have nothing to do. After work Bob and Tim usually have a drink on th... Read more
"Life"
Saturday, January 07, 2017      10 comments

"Life" The first day, God created the dog and said: 'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years. The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barki... Read more
"Man Was Desperate For A Job!"
Friday, January 06, 2017      9 comments

"Man Was Desperate For A Job!" A man is desperate for a job and finds himself at the zoo. The manager tells him there's only one job opening but he has to promise not to tell anyone about it. The man agrees, and so the manager whispers... Read more
"Blondes House Is On Fire!"
Wednesday, January 04, 2017      10 comments

"Blondes House Is On Fire!" One day a blonde called 911, screaming "Help me, Help me my house is on fire". The dispatch said "Mam, please calm down. I need to get some information from you". Again the blonde yelled "Help me, Help me m... Read more
"Student Got 0% On His Exam..."
Monday, January 02, 2017      7 comments

"Student Got 0% On His Exam..." STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM* Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? **his last battle* Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? **at the bottom of the page* Q3. River Ravi... Read more
"Drunk On The Way To A Lecture!"
Sunday, January 01, 2017      7 comments

"Drunk On The Way To A Lecture!" On New Year's Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. 'What are you doing out here at four ... Read more
"If You're Reading This. . . . . . . .
Saturday, December 31, 2016      12 comments

"If Your'e Reading This......" If you're reading this, looks like we both made it through another year. If I made you laugh...you're welcome. If I made you cry...I'm sorry. If I made you laugh until you cried...you're welcome. If... Read more
"His First Safari!"
Friday, December 30, 2016      9 comments

"His First Safari!" Heading into the jungle on his first safari, the American visitor was confident he could handle any emergency. He sidled up to the experienced native guide and said smugly, “I know that carrying a torch will keep lion... Read more
"The Alien & The Farmer"
Thursday, December 29, 2016      5 comments

"The Alien" An alien space ship landed in a farmer's yard. He disembarked and was greated by the farmer. The alien asked the farmer if he had any cattle. On hearing that cattle were available, he offered $1 MIllion for the cattle. The... Read more
"Panda With A Gun!"
Wednesday, December 28, 2016      5 comments

"Panda With A Gun!" A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You... Read more
"Two Men At The Pearly Gates!"
Tuesday, December 27, 2016      7 comments

"Two Men At The Pearly Gates!" Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation. "How'd you die?" the first man asks the second. "I froze to death," says the second. "That's awful," says the first man. "How does it feel to f... Read more

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