Sometimes I guess you have to move backward a bit in order to truly move forward for good. In 2007-2008 I finally decided to do something about my weight. I had been overweight for most of life and at 24 I was being told my blood pressure was creeping up, I had high cholesterol, and I would almost certainly be diabetic before long. I joined a gym and started monitoring my food intake. I joined SparkPeople and started learning about nutrition and fitness. By 2008 I had lost 80 pounds and I was pretty healthy and active. I got engaged and in preparing for me wedding I stepped up my exercise and started becoming preoccupied with exactly how many calories I ate. I lost another 25+ pounds, but I was pretty miserable. I worked out constantly, ate too little, and was generally unhappy. Soon after I got sick and ended up putting about 40 pounds back on. That was my wake up call. I realized that being healthy was much more important than what size pants I wore.
So, I started using my old SparkPeople account as a reminder of how far I came the first time-around and how to re-lose in a healthy, sustainable way. No more 2 hour cardio session, but yes to running and weights. No more barring myself from any treats, only to binge and eat as many as I could before getting sick. Moderation is key.
Initially it was really hard to see myself regain weight. I would get depressed and think about how I had "let myself go". However, now that I'm healthy again I have a new perspective. Going through such a dark period, and yes re-gaining some weight, was necessary to fully appreciate my health and a reminder to always focus on wellness first. I'm almost in better shape now than I've ever been, and that is entirely due to my outlook.
I only have about 10 pounds left until I hit my "goal weight", and I'd love to get there by my 30th birthday in February. If I do, wonderful, but if not I'm still a better place than I was a year ago, and probably than I've ever been. And that is something I can celebrate.
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