This article's a definite "keeper"! Thank you, Ms. Goodman, for some creative, constructive, and entirely feasible approaches and steps we can take toward feeling a little better all the time. You obviously put a great deal of time, effort, and reflection - not to mention research! - into your thoughts.
I have always struggled with negative thoughts, there have been months at a time I would suffer with these thoughts, and just loose myself in this depression. Most of these thoughts would be over things I could not control, and never would be able too. It had gotten to the point were I took meds to handle this depression.. I took them for a year, and thought they were helping.. some months past and I felt they weren't really doing anything, I had had some brief days that I felt like I was falling back into that vicious circle, but never went fully back into it. I stopped taking the meds, and have been free of them for a good six months now. I let my thoughts heal me, by staying away from those things that trigger the negative thoughts. Some days are better than others, but like this healthy lifestyle, you always have the next day to get back on track.
This idea was an AHA!! moment for me several years ago, when I realized that I brooded for days about negative feedback, but when someone praised something I'd done, I negated it and thought to myself they were just being nice... they caught me on a good day.... etc. I still tend to brood about imagined slights, but when I realize what I'm doing, I stop and refocus on the good things in my life.
Thanks for writing about this. I've trained myself to find the good in others and have a positive outlook; my husband's first reaction to almost anything is negative. We now joke about that. His pessimism is inborn, I believe (for one thing, he's an engineer and trained to look for flaws), but he's easily taken out of that mood.
This is, and has been for a long time, unquestionablly been my philosophy on life; it keeps me happy and healthy. I believe in making the best of every opportunity, never looking back, avoiding nostalgia, sentimentality and living in the past, living without regrets and being content with what you have.
Thank you for making articles like this available. There is always something amazing to discover on this website, not only for losing weight, but finding happiness in general. Keep up the amazing work!!!!!
8/29/2013 1:08:16 PM
In my circle of friends, there are 1 or 2 who are mostly negative. They seem to take great joy and satisfaction about pointing out other people's failures, bad decisions, etc. So, I try to limit the amount of time I spend with them, or try to see them in a group situation instead of one-on-one time.
Also in that same group of friends is a woman who was recently widowed after her husband suffered for many years with a debilitating illness, and she has significant health problems. Instead of being a Negative Nellie, she is one of the most upbeat, happy, outgoing people I know - even when facing her husband's suffering and inevitable death. She had her bad moments, but was and still is, very positive. This friend isn't afraid to try a new activity - she recently went kayaking for the first time at age 65 and loved it. When I'm with her, I automatically feel happier - so I try to spend more time with her than the others.
Good article. I am a happy, positive, optimist married to a negative pessimist with 3 negative pessimistic children. That was an interesting arrangement. My husband had a massive coronary at 49 while I was driving him to the dr. I was later diagnosed with MS. Both times drs expected me to fall apart and were very surprised when I didn't. I also had the goofy issues of 3 daughters growing up and challenging me with one crazy thing after another. Talk about having kids with 18-year-old brain damage! Our oldest daughter, a major neg. pes. with a husband and 6 kids who never do anything that suits her, continues to challenge my "sunny" outlook.
I always look for the good in every problem and "program" my mind with positive thoughts.
This way of looking at things from a more positive point of view began when I was 12, but I didn't realize what I was doing then or even when I developed it further when I was 21. Later I realized what I was doing to develope this point of view when my husband had a couple of health problems (not related to heart) and I realized my wonderful daughters hit the brain damage stage on their 18th birthdays.
Re: glass half full or half empty - If the the glass has a little sip left in the bottom I'm good.
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