How to Deal with Your Fiance's Unhealthy Habits9 Ways to Cope Before Walking Down the Aisle
-- By Jennipher Walters, Certified Personal Trainer and Fitness Instructor
If you're planning to walk down the aisle soon, you're probably already putting some extra care and attention into eating right and working out. After all, you want to feel and look your best on the big day! But what happens if your fiancé isn't quite so gung-ho about your healthy lifestyle?
If you're butting heads with your soon-to-be spouse about how to eat or exercise, or if your loved one is being less than supportive about your weight-loss efforts, these nine tips will help you deal without resorting to take drastic measures.
1. Have a frank conversation. Your fiancé is—and will soon legally be—your life partner. If your fiancé's unhealthy habits are throwing a wrench into your plans of looking radiantly healthy on your wedding day, speak up. It may be that your fiancé is completely unaware that you're trying to lose weight or become healthier. It may also be that he (or she) hasn't thought about how his (or her) behavior is affecting you. , and ask for support. Remind your future spouse that this is your future, and you want to set a good example for the rest of your family. It's hard to say no to that!
2. Work on compromising. You've probably heard how important compromise is to any relationship—especially in a marriage. If you're loved one for a healthy lifestyle, then simply find activities and healthy foods that you both love or can at least agree to try together. Whether it's planning active dates like bowling, a walk around the park, a round of golf, tennis lessons, a friendly Wii competition, or agreeing to only eat at restaurants that have at least a few healthy options, there are many ways to go about getting healthier together. Remember that marriage is all about give and take.
3. Have a plan. Many people give up on getting healthy because their loved ones aren't supportive. But if you have a plan that you're committed to, you will more than likely be successful in your healthy endeavors. So grab a pen and paper then jot down how you're going to get healthy. Set for yourself and as you reach them. Once you start to see results from your new healthy habits, your fiancé will notice and might even feel encouraged to change, too!
4. Prepare for tough situations. It's likely that from time to time your partner may eat something unhealthy in front of you or—even worse—provide commentary while you follow a workout DVD. Your fiance might also try to guilt you into eating a certain food, or even try to get you to stay home instead of going to the gym ("I never see you anymore!"). Whatever the situation is, anticipate it before it happens and have a few phrases in your back pocket to use in the moment. Whether it's saying, "I'm getting healthy for us and our wedding," or even scheduling a fun date night later, don't allow yourself to be caught off guard in challenging situations.<pagebreak>
5. Be sneaky. If you can't convince your fiancé to make healthier choices, why not just sneak a few of them in? (It's way better than cooking two separate meals!) SparkPeople has so many and tricks for making your meals, snacks and desserts healthier (and more nutritious) that your loved one probably won't notice!
6. Don't try to keep up with your partner. Although it's cute to do things together, when it comes to eating or drinking, going "twinsies" isn't always a good idea. Always listen to your hunger signals and don't mimic what's on your fiancés plate. You may even want to consider eating off of a smaller plate at home and using measuring cups and spoons as serving utensils so that you can keep in check. And if you really want to have something your partner is having, just grab a smaller portion and take time to enjoy every bite.
7. Have dinner together. You know that eat-dinner-together-at-the-table thing? Well, it turns out mom was on to something: often have better relationships. So why not start the tradition before you start a family? Agreeing to sit down to dinner—and only eating when at the table—allows you to nix all that mindless noshing in front of the television and gives you another opportunity to connect. It's a win-win!
8. Get support. While your fiancé is probably your best friend, you can't rely on one person for everything. So if you're not getting the get-healthy support you'd like and need, reach out to your friends, family, coworkers, or even your online. Always remember that you're not alone in your healthy journey.
9. Be patient. While your fiancé might not be the most supportive at first, it's likely that after he or she starts to see you changing, he or she may come around—even if it takes a few weeks or months. Remember that we're all at different stages in our healthy journeys, and you can't force someone to have the same "ah-ha" moment about getting in shape that you have had. So continue to encourage and invite your fiancé to join in your healthy changes, and hopefully your loved one will join you on a healthier path sooner than later.