Hooray for you! and to your husband who took it upon himself to stand up to the BULLY....I feel sorry for the "mean-girl" syndrome comment to you, but I am so glad you took time to talk to kids everywhere...too often, kids define themselves by the comments of others, and somebody needs to help break that mold! And to LAURANCE, I understand that you may have never been bullied for your weight, but under any definition, It IS Bullying!
Hi Jennifer, Thanks for standing up for all of us & my DS! We both were bullied & made fun of in school in middle school & high school, mostly high school! I'll never forget the time we were at a football game for my high school, my DS, and my Daddy's high school, & some one made fun of DS because He was so heavy. This one dude want to buy a chocolate bar which He was selling for the school, but he called Him "Fat Boy", I went to get up & my Mom told me to sit down. Do you know how bad that hurts a Mother? Have a Blessed Day on the Lord's Day! LYL! P.S. If you read these, don't pay any attention to LAURENCE, he doesn't know his butt from the hole in the ground!
This was NOT bullying! Please don't invalidate genuine bullying by calling things like this "bullying".
The writer was unthinking and insensitive. Yes, the woman knows already that she's fat, she knows she's having a lot of trouble losing weight, she knows that obesity is an epidemic. There's no sense in pointing those things out to her.
Being a role model is so extremely complex. On the one hand it's good to see a fat woman succeeding and doing well in the public eye. This encourages young women who are feeling awful because of their weight by giving them a positive image.
On the other hand it validates obesity and can encourage unhealthy habits. This is not a simple issue.
The writer wrote badly, I'll agree with that. And the letter was unnecessary since the woman already knows what's wrong. Still the criticism was not entirely invalid. The writer oversimplified a very complex situation (and I see that a lot on the internet). But the point made was legitimate.
But this is NOT bullying! You want bullying? Just try being a 12-year-old girl with Tourette's Syndrome in 7th grade! Oh, you'll get bullying all right! You'll find out to your pain and distress what Real Bullying is! And you'll be shocked and dismayed when your favorite teacher joins in the bullying instead of protecting you.
Fast forward to middle age and the internet. Try running into a narcissist online in a close cybercommunity, and you'll experience bullying that is breathtaking and utterly destructive, sickening and demoralizing. Experience trying to resist being driven from a community and find out what real bullying is. (Oh, and I outlasted the bully, but only because he died of cancer. I held on because I didn't want to let him win by running me off. But once he was gone I left. He'd destroyed the community for me.)
No, legitimate criticism is not the same as bullying. Poor writing, insensitivity, failure to reflect the complexity of a situation is not bullying.
And you do real damage when you conflate poorly stated but legitimate criticism with bullying. Bullying is a serious problem that can ruin lives. You don't help the situation by cheapening the word and applying it to any poorly stated criticism.
Jennifer, Congrats! I, too, am obese according to the charts. I'm 69 years young! I have lost 40 lbs. over the last few years. It takes me forever to lose any weight because I'm bullemic and I have meds that cause me to gain weight. I can't do without them. That's the other thing, Parents should teach their children that maybe these kids are heavy for a reason. Like meds, a illness and a number of reasons! I hope you have a Thankful & Blessed Thursday!
The problem I have is that everyone assumes that because I'm overweight I must sit around all day eating! That is not the case. Low thyroid is a serious problem and sometimes no matter how much you workout, the weight doesn't budge.
Some one said thank you for speaking out for the ones who have been bullied. You are talking about me & my Som. I thank you! I'm crying right now. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I use to have thick skin also, when I was younger, I'm 68 now, I know longer have thick skin any longer. I can cry at the drop of a hat. I'm very sensitive! I hope you have a Wonderful & Blessed Wednesday LYL! (LYL means Love You Linda) P.S. I live in Evansville, Indiana
9/27/2015 8:43:33 PM
I was taught that "If you can't say anything nice, than you shouldn't say anything at all." Now we think that we can comment on anything or anyone even if we don't know them. As a society we have lost our sense of where the bounderies are. It's all about me. So what if we are acting rudely and in a hurtful manner, we need to be heard. There is an old song that says "You talk too much. You even worry my pet...."
SparkPeople, SparkCoach, SparkPages, SparkPoints, SparkTeams, SparkDiet, SparkAmerica, SparkRecipes, DailySpark, and other marks are trademarks of SparkPeople, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
SPARKPEOPLE is a registered trademark of SparkPeople, Inc. in the United States, European Union, Canada, and Australia. All rights reserved.